Send TY Notes All at Once or in Waves

[Deleted User] · July 2014

daria24 said:

adk19 said:

All this talk about how checks are written makes me wonder about the checks I've written to my cousin's young children. What do the poor parents do when I write a check to "2yearold cousin Smith"?

When I was a little kid I had my own savings account, so I think my mother just signed the check and put it in there, until I was old enough to sign my own name. But it was the local bank where literally every teller knew every customer, so it was NBD.

That's what I remember too, which is why I never worried about writing a check to my cousin's kid. But all this talk about the drama of depositing a check under a married name before you're married had me wondering if things have changed too much since when I was a kid.

lovesclimbing · July 2014

We only got one check written to Mr. and Mrs. Hisfirst hislast. The vast majority were written to Mr. or Mrs. hisfirst hislast.

I don't get why in the world people write checks to people's married name. Even if they plan to change their name, it won't happen for weeks, if not a month or two after the wedding. It makes absolutely no sense.

mysticl · July 2014

lovesclimbing said:

We only got one check written to Mr. and Mrs. Hisfirst hislast. The vast majority were written to Mr. or Mrs. hisfirst hislast.

I don't get why in the world people write checks to people's married name. Even if they plan to change their name, it won't happen for weeks, if not a month or two after the wedding. It makes absolutely no sense.

Tradition? It probably used to be a lot easier to change your name. And a few people mentioned going to local banks where the tellers knew all the customers. So if you stayed in your hometown someone at the bank knew you got married and it wasn't a huge deal.

Heck, my grandparents' wedding wasn't technically legal but they had over 60 years of marriage I don't know of my grandmother ever having an issue over her name. She also never had photo ID and died in 2005.

Wegl13 · July 2014

.... What if you aren't changing your name and you get a check to Mrs. Wegl Hislastname? Do you have to send it back? Or just show your marriage certificate, like hey, I'm married to Mr. Hislastname, my first nameis Wegl, I'm not changing my name, there you go? I'm hoping it's the latter or that would be super duper awkward for everyone.

melbenso · July 2014

I didn't change my name. I tried to spread that info by word of mouth before the wedding, so most of our guests knew that and wrote checks using my maiden name. We only had 4 with my first name and DH's last name. Since I had the Monday after the wedding off, I went and filed our marriage license in person (rather than have the minister mail it in) and got a certified copy of the proof of marriage document at the same time.

When I stopped in at the bank to get cash for tips for the servers and bartender the week before the wedding, I asked what we would need to do if checks were written to the wrong last name, so I knew we would need the certified proof of marriage document.

We just took that to the bank when we deposited the checks from the wedding. They made a copy of it and kept it on file. I signed my legal name on the back of the checks with the wrong last name on them at the direction of the bank manager. It was quite easy.

If you aren't sure what your bank will do/require, just stop in and ask before the wedding. But I'm going to guess that regardless of whether you change your name or not, the marriage certificate should take care of any of those issues. It's not like this is something banks don't deal with on a regular basis.

photokitty · July 2014

Wegl13 said:

.... What if you aren't changing your name and you get a check to Mrs. Wegl Hislastname? Do you have to send it back? Or just show your marriage certificate, like hey, I'm married to Mr. Hislastname, my first nameis Wegl, I'm not changing my name, there you go? I'm hoping it's the latter or that would be super duper awkward for everyone.

If you checkout my crazy flow chart... :-p

I had to show the marriage certificate and photo ID then they would deposit/cash it at my bank where I have my accounts. I had to go to the teller, could not use the ATM or banking app.

majesty318 · July 2014

I think this really depends on the bank. I haven't decided yet if I am changing my name, but the vast majority of the checks we received were made out to Majesty318 & Husband Hislast. My bank wanted him to sign his name and then me to sign twice, once with maiden name & once with married.

My sister, however, who definitely didn't change her name, had some sort of huge hassle at the bank and I think they completely refused to cash the checks that were made out to Sister & Husband Hislast.

I used to work in a bank so I never write checks with AND since they will require 2 signatures. I always write them to the person I am closer to.

ashleyep · July 2014

lovesclimbing said:

We only got one check written to Mr. and Mrs. Hisfirst hislast. The vast majority were written to Mr. or Mrs. hisfirst hislast.

I don't get why in the world people write checks to people's married name. Even if they plan to change their name, it won't happen for weeks, if not a month or two after the wedding. It makes absolutely no sense.

I usually write the check to the husband. I figure that's the easiest.

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