Alcohol Favor Etiquette

mrs4everhart · July 2014

We're placing a personalized mini bottle of Don Julio Reposado at each place setting at our reception as favors. Partially because most of our guests enjoy tequila (I'd be surprised if most of the bottles last the night) and partially because they will look pretty with the rest of the minimal table decoration and we can't really travel with much. So a favor that's also nice to look at is right up our alley. But we do have a few non-drinkers. No one that is morally opposed or anything but would just have no use for tequila or alcohol in general. Is it a dick maneuver to not assign seats and not switch out the favors for something else for those few people or are favors one of those "you can't please everyone" types of things? (And yes, clearly I think this actually matters bc I'm coming here of all places for advice, despite knowing I'll probably end up with a headache for my troubles).

mysticl · July 2014

STBMrsEverhart said:

We're placing a personalized mini bottle of Don Julio Reposado at each place setting at our reception as favors. Partially because most of our guests enjoy tequila (I'd be surprised if most of the bottles last the night) and partially because they will look pretty with the rest of the minimal table decoration and we can't really travel with much. So a favor that's also nice to look at is right up our alley. But we do have a few non-drinkers. No one that is morally opposed or anything but would just have no use for tequila or alcohol in general. Is it a dick maneuver to not assign seats and not switch out the favors for something else for those few people or are favors one of those "you can't please everyone" types of things? (And yes, clearly I think this actually matters bc I'm coming here of all places for advice, despite knowing I'll probably end up with a headache for my troubles).

Don't assign seats, assign tables. Don't make guests have to deal with open seating just to avoid an issue with favors. I've been to two weddings that gave alcohol as a favor and they both gave out more than just that favor to everyone. That way if people didn't want the alcohol they still got something. Then if people don't want the alcohol they'll give it to someone else or leave it behind.

NYCMercedes · July 2014

STBMrsEverhart said:

We're placing a personalized mini bottle of Don Julio Reposado at each place setting at our reception as favors. Partially because most of our guests enjoy tequila (I'd be surprised if most of the bottles last the night) and partially because they will look pretty with the rest of the minimal table decoration and we can't really travel with much. So a favor that's also nice to look at is right up our alley. But we do have a few non-drinkers. No one that is morally opposed or anything but would just have no use for tequila or alcohol in general. Is it a dick maneuver to not assign seats and not switch out the favors for something else for those few people or are favors one of those "you can't please everyone" types of things? (And yes, clearly I think this actually matters bc I'm coming here of all places for advice, despite knowing I'll probably end up with a headache for my troubles).

I'd be ok with me. Favors are never necessary anyway so if I give mine away to one of the many who'd like it, no loss. Sort of like the four people who take home 30 bags of unwanted Jordan almond favors.

JCbride2015 · July 2014

Eh, I don't really see a problem with that. I wouldn't eat a chocolate favor, but I wouldn't be offended if the favors were chocolate.

I do think you should assign tables though. It just helps things go smoother and people like to already know where to go.

mrs4everhart · July 2014

I've given a lot of thought to the assigning or not assigning tables/seats and will only be able to make a final decision once all the RSVP's are back. The most-likely-to-attend (in my mind and from previous conversations with people) have pretty much all met and have spent multiple holidays and events together. The rest I believe will migrate naturally to those they've made a connection with in the previous day or two or by age and personality type. Getting my final count will determine if we're even going to have multiple tables because if it's between 18-20 we may do one long rectangular table, possibly with assigned seating, again possibly not depending on the mix.

If the guest list is a little too random, which seems unlikely since 48 people were invited and we knew before sending invites that at least 1/3 or more wouldn't be able to make it, we'll definitely be doing table and/or seat assignments. Sadly, we can't seat Mr. E's step dad at a table by himself at another resort :-/

I'm also going to stick with the tequila-for-all. Mexican laws prohibit a lot of the typical favor-type items from being brought in from out of the country so it's going to become an unnecessary PITA to come up with another favor, and we're going to leave a sandalwood fan on each guests' ceremony seat, so I guess if a few people skip the booze it's not the end of the world.

ETA: There are no families with minor children attending, so if we do skip the assignments we don't run the risk of screwing up seating of families or anything. It's all adults, pretty much all couples.

mrs4everhart · July 2014

NYCMercedes said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

We're placing a personalized mini bottle of Don Julio Reposado at each place setting at our reception as favors. Partially because most of our guests enjoy tequila (I'd be surprised if most of the bottles last the night) and partially because they will look pretty with the rest of the minimal table decoration and we can't really travel with much. So a favor that's also nice to look at is right up our alley. But we do have a few non-drinkers. No one that is morally opposed or anything but would just have no use for tequila or alcohol in general. Is it a dick maneuver to not assign seats and not switch out the favors for something else for those few people or are favors one of those "you can't please everyone" types of things? (And yes, clearly I think this actually matters bc I'm coming here of all places for advice, despite knowing I'll probably end up with a headache for my troubles).

I'd be ok with me. Favors are never necessary anyway so if I give mine away to one of the many who'd like it, no loss. Sort of like the four people who take home 30 bags of unwanted Jordan almond favors.

That's why they're always so stale and gross. I'm pretty sure the people who have been taking them have been repurposing them throughout their families for 30-some-odd years. Blech!

JCbride2015 · July 2014

STBMrsEverhart said:

NYCMercedes said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

We're placing a personalized mini bottle of Don Julio Reposado at each place setting at our reception as favors. Partially because most of our guests enjoy tequila (I'd be surprised if most of the bottles last the night) and partially because they will look pretty with the rest of the minimal table decoration and we can't really travel with much. So a favor that's also nice to look at is right up our alley. But we do have a few non-drinkers. No one that is morally opposed or anything but would just have no use for tequila or alcohol in general. Is it a dick maneuver to not assign seats and not switch out the favors for something else for those few people or are favors one of those "you can't please everyone" types of things? (And yes, clearly I think this actually matters bc I'm coming here of all places for advice, despite knowing I'll probably end up with a headache for my troubles).

I'd be ok with me. Favors are never necessary anyway so if I give mine away to one of the many who'd like it, no loss. Sort of like the four people who take home 30 bags of unwanted Jordan almond favors.

That's why they're always so stale and gross. I'm pretty sure the people who have been taking them have been repurposing them throughout their families for 30-some-odd years. Blech!

I've never understood the Jordan almond favors. FBIL had them at his wedding this weekend (although they also did plant favors). Just, why?

atlastmrsg · July 2014

As long as the guests can get to the correct table, they'll be fine. If they don't want the tequila, they can pass it to me. That's what I'm talking about for favors! If everyone gave me mini champagne or tequila, I'd be so happy. I hate jordan almonds, M&Ms, etc. and don't take them.

holyguacamole79 · July 2014

I'd also check with your venue regarding liquor laws and alcoholic favors. I was at a wedding once where the favor was alcoholic and we were asked not to open them there for that reason.

ElcaB · July 2014

First of all, may I please submit my RSVP for your wedding now? Because DON JULIO!

Secondly, don't sweat the non drinkers. When I go to a wedding & they have favors I don't like (i.e. anything with coconut) I just leave it there or give it to another attendee.

I'd still assign tables, though.

mysticl · July 2014

JCbride2015 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

NYCMercedes said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

We're placing a personalized mini bottle of Don Julio Reposado at each place setting at our reception as favors. Partially because most of our guests enjoy tequila (I'd be surprised if most of the bottles last the night) and partially because they will look pretty with the rest of the minimal table decoration and we can't really travel with much. So a favor that's also nice to look at is right up our alley. But we do have a few non-drinkers. No one that is morally opposed or anything but would just have no use for tequila or alcohol in general. Is it a dick maneuver to not assign seats and not switch out the favors for something else for those few people or are favors one of those "you can't please everyone" types of things? (And yes, clearly I think this actually matters bc I'm coming here of all places for advice, despite knowing I'll probably end up with a headache for my troubles).

I'd be ok with me. Favors are never necessary anyway so if I give mine away to one of the many who'd like it, no loss. Sort of like the four people who take home 30 bags of unwanted Jordan almond favors.

That's why they're always so stale and gross. I'm pretty sure the people who have been taking them have been repurposing them throughout their families for 30-some-odd years. Blech!

I've never understood the Jordan almond favors. FBIL had them at his wedding this weekend (although they also did plant favors). Just, why?

STB:
http://www.jordanalmonds.com/Pages/Tradition & History.htm

ashleyep · July 2014

JCbride2015 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

NYCMercedes said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

We're placing a personalized mini bottle of Don Julio Reposado at each place setting at our reception as favors. Partially because most of our guests enjoy tequila (I'd be surprised if most of the bottles last the night) and partially because they will look pretty with the rest of the minimal table decoration and we can't really travel with much. So a favor that's also nice to look at is right up our alley. But we do have a few non-drinkers. No one that is morally opposed or anything but would just have no use for tequila or alcohol in general. Is it a dick maneuver to not assign seats and not switch out the favors for something else for those few people or are favors one of those "you can't please everyone" types of things? (And yes, clearly I think this actually matters bc I'm coming here of all places for advice, despite knowing I'll probably end up with a headache for my troubles).

I'd be ok with me. Favors are never necessary anyway so if I give mine away to one of the many who'd like it, no loss. Sort of like the four people who take home 30 bags of unwanted Jordan almond favors.

That's why they're always so stale and gross. I'm pretty sure the people who have been taking them have been repurposing them throughout their families for 30-some-odd years. Blech!

I've never understood the Jordan almond favors. FBIL had them at his wedding this weekend (although they also did plant favors). Just, why?

I know it's an Italian thing. They're supposed to represent something. Outside of that, no idea why.

MandyMost · July 2014

STBMrsEverhart said:

I've given a lot of thought to the assigning or not assigning tables/seats and will only be able to make a final decision once all the RSVP's are back. The most-likely-to-attend (in my mind and from previous conversations with people) have pretty much all met and have spent multiple holidays and events together. The rest I believe will migrate naturally to those they've made a connection with in the previous day or two or by age and personality type. Getting my final count will determine if we're even going to have multiple tables because if it's between 18-20 we may do one long rectangular table, possibly with assigned seating, again possibly not depending on the mix.

If the guest list is a little too random, which seems unlikely since 48 people were invited and we knew before sending invites that at least 1/3 or more wouldn't be able to make it, we'll definitely be doing table and/or seat assignments. Sadly, we can't seat Mr. E's step dad at a table by himself at another resort :-/

I guess I see things differently than you, but I think you just enumerated some really important reasons to assign tables/seating. People may gravitate towards each other due to age and personality...which is why it would suck if 25-year-old Suzy is sitting with your grandparents and not the other 25 year olds, because she happened to be stuck in a conversation or in the bathroom when people started to sit down. And what happens when Mr. E's step dad is sitting directly next to you, instead of your best friend or your mom? Or if there is one seat left on one end of the table and one seat left on the other, and a couple still need to sit? Once people sit you really can't make them move without coming off extremely tacky and rude.

Haven't you ever been to a work function, for example, where about 10-20 people all get to a big long table or two for lunch/dinner or even an off-site meeting at approximately the same time, and it's a big awkward scramble to get a good seat with people you want to sit with without awkwardly leaving empty seats next to people you don't like? You don't want that to happen at your wedding.

sophhabobopha · July 2014

I think the tequila favors are fine. And I agree with PPs, WTF is with Jordan Almonds? Blech.

tammym1001 · July 2014

We did full size bottles of wine as favors. We did red and white so I had my DOC just alternate one red, one white at each place setting. That way couples got a bottle of each or if some people didn't like one they could swap it out. We had a couple of people who don't drink, but they took them anyways as keepsakes (it was my grandma and dad). We also did boxes of chocolates as our escort cards so there was a second edible item for people who didn't like or want wine. We had a couple of children at our wedding and we gave them activity bags since obviously the wine wouldn't work for them. I'm pretty certain there parents took the bottles of wine that were at the place settings where the kids sat. We didn't have any bottles left at the end of the night.

indianaalum · July 2014

sarahbear31 said:

I'd also check with your venue regarding liquor laws and alcoholic favors. I was at a wedding once where the favor was alcoholic and we were asked not to open them there for that reason.

Also, keep in mind if you are traveling by plane, you can only have some much "liquid" as a carry one, I believe. You might risk them breaking in a suit case..just be careful with that

mysticl · July 2014

indianaalum said:

sarahbear31 said:

I'd also check with your venue regarding liquor laws and alcoholic favors. I was at a wedding once where the favor was alcoholic and we were asked not to open them there for that reason.

Also, keep in mind if you are traveling by plane, you can only have some much "liquid" as a carry one, I believe. You might risk them breaking in a suit case..just be careful with that

Yes. Each passenger is allowed one clear, plastic, zip top, quart sized bag. In that bag you put your liquid/gel/cream/paste products. Each one can be in a container no larger than 3.4 ounces. There are exceptions for medications, baby food, formula, and breast milk. Plus they'll let you carry on stuff you bought after you passed though security because they know that stuff is "safe". But if you leave the secure area and try to come back they'll make you dump it.

JCbride2015 · July 2014

mysticl said:

indianaalum said:

sarahbear31 said:

I'd also check with your venue regarding liquor laws and alcoholic favors. I was at a wedding once where the favor was alcoholic and we were asked not to open them there for that reason.

Also, keep in mind if you are traveling by plane, you can only have some much "liquid" as a carry one, I believe. You might risk them breaking in a suit case..just be careful with that

Yes. Each passenger is allowed one clear, plastic, zip top, quart sized bag. In that bag you put your liquid/gel/cream/paste products. Each one can be in a container no larger than 3.4 ounces. There are exceptions for medications, baby food, formula, and breast milk. Plus they'll let you carry on stuff you bought after you passed though security because they know that stuff is "safe". But if you leave the secure area and try to come back they'll make you dump it.

She should be OK though if it's a checked bag, right?

syoun1nj · July 2014

My guess is she plans to check the bag with the mini bottles.

But, yes, check with the resort about handing out privately bought alcohol. My venue allowed it but I had to hand it out at the end and could not be consumed on the premises. I believe you're at an AI so they might not be so strict, but, in the US this could fuck up a venue's liquor license, so lurkers be aware.

mysticl · July 2014

JCbride2015 said:

mysticl said:

indianaalum said:

sarahbear31 said:

I'd also check with your venue regarding liquor laws and alcoholic favors. I was at a wedding once where the favor was alcoholic and we were asked not to open them there for that reason.

Also, keep in mind if you are traveling by plane, you can only have some much "liquid" as a carry one, I believe. You might risk them breaking in a suit case..just be careful with that

Yes. Each passenger is allowed one clear, plastic, zip top, quart sized bag. In that bag you put your liquid/gel/cream/paste products. Each one can be in a container no larger than 3.4 ounces. There are exceptions for medications, baby food, formula, and breast milk. Plus they'll let you carry on stuff you bought after you passed though security because they know that stuff is "safe". But if you leave the secure area and try to come back they'll make you dump it.

She should be OK though if it's a checked bag, right?

From a TSA standpoint I believe so, they say if in doubt check it. From a baggage handling point of view people may end up with tequila flavored clothing.

mrs4everhart · July 2014

We are bringing them in our checked luggage. When I inquired about the price to decorate the table (and setting out the tequila favors) my DOC didn't respond with a no, you can't do that here. So I think I'm ok. I just need a throw away suitcase large enough to carry all this stuff! Hello Goodwill!!

lyndausvi · July 2014

I would check laws on bring how much liquor you can bring into Mexico. One mini-bottle might not be a big deal. 24 might be. Mexico might not care, but the US does for custom purposes so it's worth checking. It might be cheaper to just buy them down there anyway.

mysticl · July 2014

syoun1nj said:

My guess is she plans to check the bag with the mini bottles.

But, yes, check with the resort about handing out privately bought alcohol. My venue allowed it but I had to hand it out at the end and could not be consumed on the premises. I believe you're at an AI so they might not be so strict, but, in the US this could fuck up a venue's liquor license, so lurkers be aware.

It's also a consideration for their guests returning home.

ashleyep · July 2014

mysticl said:

syoun1nj said:

My guess is she plans to check the bag with the mini bottles.

But, yes, check with the resort about handing out privately bought alcohol. My venue allowed it but I had to hand it out at the end and could not be consumed on the premises. I believe you're at an AI so they might not be so strict, but, in the US this could fuck up a venue's liquor license, so lurkers be aware.

It's also a consideration for their guests returning home.

One mini bottle in a suitcase is probably fine - wrap it in a t-shirt. A whole bunch of bottles banging against each other is much more of a problem.

pinkcow13 · July 2014

Ummm tequila wedding favors?!?!?! Awesome!

Yea, I think it's fine to give those away, and whomever doesn't drink/like tequila can just give it to another guest.

beethery · July 2014

If I was going to bring that many liquid-holding bottles in my checked luggage, I'd make sure they were in a box (like a wine box or something with dividers), and had ample filler material.

My suitcases get opened damn near every time I fly, and I've had more shit zazzed out of there by TSA people than I can remember. To the point where I make a list of everything in my suitcase and take pictures of anything I'm bringing with me, especially if it is some kind of liquid like perfume/lotion/booze.

Check laws, and possibly ship ahead if you have to.

lyndausvi · July 2014

Granted I've never been to Mexico, but am I then only one who thinks it's odd to bring tequila INTO Mexico considering most tequila is made in Mexico.

I guess I do not understand buying and transporting something you can get locally. A lot of times an alcoholic item is better in it's home country then their imported versions.

I do not even drink tequila, the smell makes me nauseous. But if I did I would rather a favor from a fake wedding be local tequila than tequila bought in Colorado and flown down to Mexico.

mrs4everhart · July 2014

We are taking a throw-away suitcase we're going to buy at Goodwill in addition to our regular luggage. It's not coming back with us. In it we're bringing all of the wedding related items (decorations, not attire).

The tequila will be specially packed to make the trip safely unless the gorilla from the old Samsonite commercials shows up.

I agree I'd rather give tequila that was purchased in Mexico but we aren't renting a car for the first part of our trip, we have plans the two days before our wedding and running around trying to make sure we can buy enough bottles of what we want in a taxi sounds like no fun at all. Besides which, we'd then have to hope we weren't paying tourist town prices for them when I can buy exactly what we want from a distributor locally for less than restaurant or liquor store prices.

Shipping is expensive, not entirely guaranteed, and actually discouraged by the resort. We each get two checked bags, one free each, so taking this stuff is less expensive and safer than shipping.

ETA: bc TK says screw paragraphs today.

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