BSC Moments - Share

justbeingme93 · July 2014

We have all had BSC moments. Just out of curiosity and boredom, I was wondering if you ladies would want to share some of your BSC moments. They are awful when they happen, but they can also be really funny! Lord knows I have had my fair share of moments, but the ladies here at NEY helped rein in the crazy (i.e., engagement envy).

eilis1228 · July 2014

Oh geez, I went full on BSC right before FI proposed. I posted a few times here about it too. At one point he and I were discussing the timeline, and he led me to believe instead of a summer engagement it would be a fall engagement due to some financial setbacks. I didn't realize how set I was on a summer engagement, and the idea of waiting 2-3 more months made me lose my mind. I ended up crying about it, which made me feel so crazy. When I finally calmed down, my nose started bleeding... I cried over a potentially delayed engagement and gave myself a nose bleed. It was absolutely ridiculous. Looking back, FI must have had to fight back laughter since he ended up proposing 2 weeks later. He'd apparently been planning that proposal for months too. Oops.

justbeingme93 · July 2014

@weewittlewizabeth That sounds like a crazy roller coaster of emotions! Wow. The nose bleed added to your moment is definitely something from the movies. Of course you would get a nose bleed during a situation like that - how awful! It's funny how silly we feel about BSC moments in a matter of a few minutes, days, weeks, etc. I bet your FI did have a nice little laugh about that. You were in such an emotional place, but he obviously knew you would get over it soon!

eilis1228 · July 2014

Yeah, not my proudest moment. I probably wouldn't have been so BSC if we hadn't discussed a timeline for so long though. If I hadn't been expecting it, I would have been calmer. I felt really guilty about it afterwards too. I by no means wanted to pressure him into popping the question, and me acting like a brat was downright embarrassing. I guess that's what "for better or for worse" encompasses though.

WildMagelet · July 2014

Usually my BSC are all around things I hypothesize in my head. My brain is really bad on continuously rollercoastering the what-ifs on top of one another and out of control. At least I can identify and acknowledge the ridiculous, I guess?

On that note: I went BSC once because I had a nightmare that FI's then pregnant ex-W was having a girl and naming her baby what I wanted to name our FDD from a conversation we had like 4 years prior. Funny story, she did! Ex-W's DD is named NameIPicked FIsLastName. The world moved on. I got over it. FI told me later that he didn't like that name anyways. Yes, everyone thinks its weird that baby has FIs last name even though its not his.

bethsmiles · July 2014

I can't remember any specific moments but I know I had them! BF and I have been together since we were 18 so there were a couple of young, bratty, I know everything years where I had more than my fair share of BSC-ness. I'm SO glad I've moved on from that phase!

I do remember being really upset last year when we ended up having to post-pone the engagement. There was definetly crying involved because I am not a patient person and having to wait for so long, even if it's for good, responsible, better for our future, reasons frustrates me. If it were just up to me I'd throw all caution to the wind and just get married now (or like forever ago) but that's why BF is good for me! He keeps me grounded in reality!

AuroraRose41 · July 2014

I think @weewittlewizabeth wins for now for BSC, but I'll bite.

BF started asking me about my favorite ring styles over a year ago, and at that time I wasn't too BSC. He lost his job soon after that, and I moved across the country to the West Coast, so we were more focused on just staying together and finding him a job. I was able to get him a job at my company, and he moved in with me. Once he was here for a few months and we were comfortable, he brought up rings again, and we actually went and looked at some. That's when I started going a little BSC, pinning tons of things on a secret Pinterest board and thinking about what would be important components of a wedding to me (apart from marrying BF of course!).

Lately I have been really busy with work and moving to a new apartment, but I did have a really BSC moment a few weeks ago in front of BF. I started crying because we weren't engaged yet, and it was a really stupid reason, but I am still kind of bummed about it. We are going to a wedding this weekend back on the East Coast, and it is actually the wedding of my ex from high school. We were really young, and became really close friends by the end of 12th grade, so it isn't a big deal to me that he is getting married (I am super happy for him and I really like the woman he is marrying!). What is kind of a big deal to me is that this is the first time in many years I have seen his family, and I was really hoping to be able to introduce BF as my FI. BF and I have been dating for the same amount of time as my ex and his FI, and it just seems like it will come off as immature that we are still only boyfriend/girlfriend.

I know, I know. Every relationship moves at a different pace, and I have come to terms with the fact that we won't be engaged by Saturday, but it still kind of sucks. The thing that did actually help me come to terms with everything is that BF and I had a conversation last week about life in general, and he told me that if it hadn't been for some unfortunate circumstances with his car breaking down, he would have proposed to me already. So at least I know it's on his mind, and coming within the next few months if everything goes as planned.

eilis1228 · July 2014

AuroraRose41 said:

I think @weewittlewizabeth wins for now for BSC, but I'll bite.

BF started asking me about my favorite ring styles over a year ago, and at that time I wasn't too BSC. He lost his job soon after that, and I moved across the country to the West Coast, so we were more focused on just staying together and finding him a job. I was able to get him a job at my company, and he moved in with me. Once he was here for a few months and we were comfortable, he brought up rings again, and we actually went and looked at some. That's when I started going a little BSC, pinning tons of things on a secret Pinterest board and thinking about what would be important components of a wedding to me (apart from marrying BF of course!).

Lately I have been really busy with work and moving to a new apartment, but I did have a really BSC moment a few weeks ago in front of BF. I started crying because we weren't engaged yet, and it was a really stupid reason, but I am still kind of bummed about it. We are going to a wedding this weekend back on the East Coast, and it is actually the wedding of my ex from high school. We were really young, and became really close friends by the end of 12th grade, so it isn't a big deal to me that he is getting married (I am super happy for him and I really like the woman he is marrying!). What is kind of a big deal to me is that this is the first time in many years I have seen his family, and I was really hoping to be able to introduce BF as my FI. BF and I have been dating for the same amount of time as my ex and his FI, and it just seems like it will come off as immature that we are still only boyfriend/girlfriend.

I know, I know. Every relationship moves at a different pace, and I have come to terms with the fact that we won't be engaged by Saturday, but it still kind of sucks. The thing that did actually help me come to terms with everything is that BF and I had a conversation last week about life in general, and he told me that if it hadn't been for some unfortunate circumstances with his car breaking down, he would have proposed to me already. So at least I know it's on his mind, and coming within the next few months if everything goes as planned.

SITB

AuroraRose41 · July 2014

Sorry! Also, giving myself a nosebleed from crying is something that I would do, so I feel your pain. I just didn't give myself one during this particular BSC moment

.

Also, I love Up, and BF has a friend named Doug who actually acts very similar to that dog.

eilis1228 · July 2014

@AuroraRose41 haha no offense taken :-P It was definitely a crazy moment! And I love Up too! That's really funny about your BF's friend. I think I would hang out with that person non-stop for the entertainment value.

AuroraRose41 · July 2014

@weewittlewizabeth he is hilarious. And he is picking us up from the airport tomorrow night, so I am super excited (we can't hang out with him much since he is on the East Coast). Okay, so story time. I first met BF's friend Doug at a house party that BF's parents were hosting. In the dining room, there is a ceiling fan, and the cords to turn on/off the light and fan hang down at my eye level (chin level for a guy). Well, Doug is walking around normally, not saying a word, takes one look at one of the cords, and bites it. I must have had a very confused "WTH is this crazy person doing?" look on my face. But then, BF's father walks in the room and proclaims "The house caught a Doug!". It was one of the most hilarious things I have ever seen. ETF: ugh I had paragraphs!!!!!!!

BreMR · July 2014

I LOVE the cone of shame reference

My most BSC moment came after a night of drinking wine with FI's family around Christmas. HIs family was really good at giving him a lot of shit for not marrying me and after a bit of wine and enough of their comments I had a meltdown on the way home telling him that if marriage wasn't something he wanted I understood and he shouldn't be forced into doing anything, but I knew marriage was important to me so perhaps we should just move on.

I felt so shitty the next day because I felt like I had given him an ultimatum and while bawling my eyes out no less. Luckily we chatted more about it the next day and we talked more about a timeline.

Hummingbird125 · July 2014

I think I hid my BSC from then-bf pretty well, but I was feeling fairly low on X-mas Eve. Even though I had never explicitly told him it was what I wanted, I had imagined a Christmas Eve proposal for years and was sad because I "knew" it wasn't going to happen. I was moody the whole day, and though I was busy with pre-X-mas baking and cooking, I felt myself avoiding making eye contact with him, and not being very talkative. I didn't even shower or get dressed any nicer for our date that night.... and yet he still proposed to me when we got home! My attitude is the one thing I regret about that day!

Before that... I had one moment about two years ago where we were vaguely discussing marriage while drinking at a bar, and he made a "I don't really see the point of it" comment. I went to the bathroom, cried for two minutes, wiped my tears, and went back to the table, but he could tell I was upset. He then admitted he was just saying that because he felt he wasn't in a position, financially, to get married yet, and he felt bad about it.

luckya23 · July 2014

Hmmm... I guess that SO came to me to say he went ring shopping, and he showed me what he looked at.

And I was like... NOPE.

I got this.

So I kinda took over from there.

Lost many hours from work shopping online, and looking for settings eventually brought me here to The Knot! I wasn't really interested in wedding stuff before that, and then it was look OOH another way to waste time! Just what I always needed! :-P

Pepperally · July 2014

There were several, but what stands out is the time when then BF now FI hired a driver to take us downtown for my birthday dinner. When we went to leave the house, the driver was there, and he had hidden flowers in the trunk of our car to give to me when we were leaving, too. I've never had someone hire a driver, hell, I've never even been in a limo. It wasn't a limo it was like a luxury SUV, but still. The whole night at dinner I kept guessing when he was going to do it, then it didn't happen so I thought of all of these other moments later that he might ask. Never happened!

He told me later that when he told his mom the plan, she said "are you sure she won't think you might be proposing?" When he told me that I played it off that it didn't cross my mind. lol.

I had a couple crying BSC moments that were just prompted by an argument or discussion in which I'd say that I didn't think he was ever going to propose.

[Deleted User] · July 2014

When I knew H was looking for rings and that he would propose within 6 months I started to get anxiety every now and then...usually it revolved around a couple glasses of wine. I remember once when H told me that he could propose at any moment, I started crying (not the good crying) because I hate being surprised and I hate anticipation. I told him that he is making me crazy lol.

Blackbird230 · July 2014

I was BSC after FI originally proposed. I was almost in that "unofficially engaged" label. However the ladies of NEY talked some sense into me, FI and I came clean and a couple months later, he bought my ring.

minskat30 · July 2014

@BreMR - Your BSC moment reminds me of mine! I was with H on my first trip to India to meet his family and EVERYONE told me he would be proposing. I brushed it off...or pretended to. A few days into my visit H's brother sat him down with me there and gave us his "blessing" (H's brother is older and in many traditional Indian homes the eldest must get married first before a younger sibling can marry). H's brother then asked what the hold up was on proposing....awkward much. That night, after drinking and awkwardness, I was up ugly crying to H about the fact that he didn't want to marry me. He spent the night reassuring me that it would happen but give it some time. I was mortified the next day.

BreMR · July 2014

@minskat30 isn't it delightful what a little bit of alcohol can do to your normally sane brain??

minskat30 · July 2014

BreMR said:

@minskat30 isn't it delightful what a little bit of alcohol can do to your normally sane brain??

Tell me about it.

May1979 · July 2014

I don't know if mine was really BSC as it was I am super kicking myself STILL! A couple years ago BF was looking at rings and asking my opinion and would break out in the local Jewelers jingles.

Here we are two years later, and a few set backs, mostly job loss and we are not engaged. Fine, I get it but I was always wondering if I did something since the money really isn't the set back, it's the stability of work. Anyway, Memorial Weekend I had a lot of liquid courage and asked my BF calmly if I had done anything to change his mind about getting married. (I figured no since we have since moved in together) Anyway, I was so loaded all I remember him telling me was that it was not me and I can not for the life of me remember the rest of the conversation. So, yea, I won't be asking important questions in that state anymore. I still cringe thinking about it.

ShallowSeas · July 2014

Luckily I didn't have too many BSC moments since FI and I didn't date super long before he proposed, but I do have an embarrassing one that I've told before.

I signed up on TK last May because thats when I started to get BSC about wanting to marry FI. He had mentioned marriage at this point but we had no time line or plans for it. When I signed up for TK, stupid me put my real address in so TK sent me a bunch of WR things from vendors. FI always checks the mail, and one day there was a ton of WR things from TK about photography, dresses, rings, EVERYTHING. He looked at me and was like, "ummm...is there something I should know?" Of course I tried to play it off like, "omg, I have no idea what any of that stuff is. How weird..." And then he said, "I hope you're not expecting a ring any time this year..." I tried to play that off too, but it made me sad.

5 months later we were ring shopping and I DID get a ring that year!

BreMR · July 2014

@Severmilli12 I love that story, and the same thing happened to me, luckily, my cousin had just gotten engaged and I was her MOH so I just said "Oh, I requested this information for K"

ShallowSeas · July 2014

@BreMR Its hilarious now but I was mortified when it happened! I finally fessed up to FI a couple months ago about it. I was like, "remember that one time when we got all that wedding stuff in the mail? I was totally BSC and wanting to marry you so I signed up on TK and they sent me all of that."

I was so caught off guard by it at the time that I had no idea what to say! I'm sure I was not believable what-so-ever because I have the worst lying face in the world. FI was probably thinking, "omg. This girl is crazy..."

justbeingme93 · July 2014

@severmilli12 I have a feeling that has happened to a lot of women! My roommate did the same thing a year ago. She received all of the usual WR stuff from TK, and her boyfriend was being nice and brought our mail in that day. I got a frantic text message from her. That craziness gets brought up during wine nights now. Thank goodness she laughs about it now.

ShallowSeas · July 2014

Oh...I just remembered another one that embarrassed me

I tried to keep really cool while dating FI because I felt like I pressured my last ex to propose so I wanted to steer clear of that this time around. One night, me, FI, and a couple that we are friends with went to a bar to see our friend's band. Me and my friend were downing vodka cranberries...I have never had a good experience with vodka and get super drunk....I definitely got super drunk. The band started playing "Single Ladies" by Beyonce and my friend (who is married) was dancing to it flashing her ring. I can't really remember what I said to FI but it something along the lines of *flash my ringless hand* "oh wait...I don't have a ring on it. Someone must not like it enough" DEAR GOD. When I remembered it the next day, I wanted to hide. I was so embarrassed because I reallllllllly reallllllly did not want to bring the subject of a ring/engagement/or marriage up. AT ALL. And I totally blew it.

eilis1228 · July 2014

severmilli12 said:

Oh...I just remembered another one that embarrassed me I tried to keep really cool while dating FI because I felt like I pressured my last ex to propose so I wanted to steer clear of that this time around. One night, me, FI, and a couple that we are friends with went to a bar to see our friend's band. Me and my friend were downing vodka cranberries...I have never had a good experience with vodka and get super drunk....I definitely got super drunk. The band started playing "Single Ladies" by Beyonce and my friend (who is married) was dancing to it flashing her ring. I can't really remember what I said to FI but it something along the lines of *flash my ringless hand* "oh wait...I don't have a ring on it. Someone must not like it enough" DEAR GOD. When I remembered it the next day, I wanted to hide. I was so embarrassed because I reallllllllly reallllllly did not want to bring the subject of a ring/engagement/or marriage up. AT ALL. And I totally blew it.

LMAO!

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