Wedding Etiquette Forum

I have no idea how to have this conversation Re: Bach party

I have a friend Kerry. When my MOH asked me in January for a list of ladies I wanted invited to the bach party she wanted to throw me, I left Kerry off the list. At the time, we weren't really in a good place. I was upset at the way I had been treated during her wedding and afterwards. We've since worked some of our issues out and are getting along a lot better. 

Once things improved, I thought of inviting her. However, she's got 3 young kids including a newborn. Her husband works 6 days a week and the only day he gets off is Thursday. We're going away upstate (3+ hours) Saturday to Tuesday. She's never left her kids before for longer than a few hours. I knew it would be impossible for her to come and I didn't want her to feel pressured or bad that she could join us. 

I was out with a mutual friend of ours and she mentioned that Kerry feels a little left out. And I feel terrible! I should have invited her 2 months ago when we were back on better terms. But I didn't. The bach party is next weekend. I want to call her and discuss it, but I really don't know what to say or even how to begin the conversation. Help! 

Re: I have no idea how to have this conversation Re: Bach party

  • If things are better between you, you might as well call her now.  @southernbelle0915's script is good.  I'd also include that you didn't want to impose because you know how busy she is with her kids.

    And if she can't make it, perhaps you can make plans for dinner or drinks sometime soon.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • Could you invite her? Even extending the invitation at this point might mend fences. You could always be like:

    "Kerry, I want you to know I'd love to have you join my bach. When MOH asked me for a guest list back in (Month) you and I weren't on great terms and I didn't include you. Since then things have been really crazy and this kind of snuck up on me. I'm really sorry for this short notice, but I'd love for you to be there if you can. If you can't, I'd love to take you out for a drink to make it up to you."




    SITB
    This is great. Thank you @southernbelle0915
  • Yeah I ditto the vote for honesty.

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  • Southernbelle's got it down.  
    Formerly known as flutterbride2b
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  • Exactly what SouthernBelle said. You just can't do better than honesty and kindness, with a nice finish of good intention.
  • I agree with what SouthernBelle said.  I wouldn't include anything about her children though. That's a separate issue.  She might have seen it as a great opportunity to get away by herself for a few days, who knows.  But I think that being honest about not being on good terms and then it sneaking up on you is a good way to go.  I'm sure she will probably appreciate you just acknowledging  that she has hurt feelings.  Have fun at your party!
  • Thanks everyone!! 
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