Wedding Etiquette Forum

invites vs venue capacity

I think I found the venue of my dreams! One problem! It only holds 100 people and I have 119 people that I want to send invites to.  I know for ALMOST fact that there are about 6 that probably wont come but that still leaves me over by 13.   I talked the lady at the venue about how many invites she thinks is safe send out vs how many people will show and she didn't budge from sending 100.  I'm really overwhelmed and confused.   I don't know really a specific question, but maybe if some of you could share your thoughts and what you did or would do in this situation.  THANKS!  :)

Re: invites vs venue capacity

  • Unless you can be CERTAIN 19 people won't come, do NOT invite over capacity. There are dozens of stories of brides who had everyone RSVP yes. Don't risk it!
  • Some of the singles might get into relationships, which means you could have additional guests over that 119. I'd play it safe and either find a different venue or start cutting guests. We had 100% attendance at our wedding.
  • vsgalvsgal member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Don't overinvite.   We had 95% attendance.  My cousin had 100%
    ROCK IS KING!!
  • Does the 119 include you and you FI? Cuz that's 121. Does the 100 person limit include additional space for vendors? Do they have to be included in the count? (A lot of venues have separate space for vendors like photographers to eat their meals. But if the 100 person limit is a fire code number, you might have to include them in the count)

    Either way, you always have to plan on 100% attendance.
  • First, determine if capacity is fire code or not. If it is code, they will not let anyone in over capacity, and if you have more than, what is it, 84% (100/119?) attendance, they will turn people away/cancel the entire event depending on the contract. You REALLY DO NOT WANT that. 

    Sometimes capacity is "recommended" - online, my venue say it seats 70, but has a fire code of 110, and can seat 80-90, albet uncomfortably. Since you already spoke to the coordinator at the venue, I'm going to assume 100 is code.

    Honestly, it just not worth the risk. Inviting 20% over capacity, especially with such small numbers, is really playing with fire, and you'd be surprised how often people get added to the list or go into relationships where you need to invite SOs. 

    Either cut the list down and book this venue, or keeping looking for venues with larger capacities: determine what is most important to you, the venue or inviting all 119 of these people. Sometimes you can't have everything.
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  • If you want to invite 119 people, you need to find a venue that will hold that many people. If you want to have your venue, you need to cut your list. Is 119 people including every single person with a guest? If not, what if those people get into a relationship prior to the wedding.You'd need to invite their SO also. 



    I would find a different venue, personally.
    QFT
    *********************************************************************************

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  • Seems like a recipe for disaster to select a venue that could very well be too small.

    Remember: it is so much easier to take away a plate than add one... or 19.
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  • It's foolish to invite over capacity. There is the potential for so many problems doing that. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Do not invite over the venue's capacity. Someone just posted on here the other day that 100% of her guests are attending. You either need to find a new venue, or only invite 100 people (including you, your FI and your vendors).
  • My dad also had 100% attendance at his wedding a few years ago. Don't risk it. 

    For another anecdote, JIC your mind is headed in that direction... my step-sister had about 70 people at her reception and only 30 chairs. She thought people would just walk around and mingle instead of sitting down, since it was just cocktails and apps. Nope, anyone without a chair left early and she was super bummed. People don't like being crammed in to places that aren't meant to hold them.

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  • jnissajnissa member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Ask yourself, what will you do if you get 101 and the venue won't budge (as is the likely case, especially since they warned you not to overinvite). Are you going to feel okay about it when you have to - and I mean HAVE TO - convince somebody not to come? You actually *don't* know for sure that 6 people are definite declines. Lots can change between now and your wedding. 

    Yes, you'll be sad if you get 50% declines and you gave up on the venue. But that is still better than having to risk un-inviting people. 

  • Don't invite more then the space & your budget can accomodate. My mother in law said "Don't worry at least 30% of my list won't come." Guess what, only 2% of her list RSVP no. It's a good thing our space was easily able to accomodate that. It put a little stretch on our budget, but we made it work.
  • Don't do it!

    Also remember you must accommodate for all SOs (yes, even short-term BF and GF) of your guests.  So if your single guests enter a relationship between now and then, that could add to your numbers.

    You don't want to be pushing up against capacity, even if you're lucky and 19 people decline.  Capacity in many venues is really tight and uncomfortable.

    And as PPs have mentioned, if 100 is fire code, they won't budge and you will have a serious problem with no solution other than to find another venue with a couple weeks before your wedding.  Just don't risk it.

    I think I found the venue of my dreams! One problem! It only holds 100 people and I have 119 people that I want to send invites to.  I know for ALMOST fact that there are about 6 that probably wont come but that still leaves me over by 13.   I talked the lady at the venue about how many invites she thinks is safe send out vs how many people will show and she didn't budge from sending 100.  I'm really overwhelmed and confused.   I don't know really a specific question, but maybe if some of you could share your thoughts and what you did or would do in this situation.  THANKS!  :)

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • Does the 119 include you and you FI? Cuz that's 121. Does the 100 person limit include additional space for vendors? Do they have to be included in the count? (A lot of venues have separate space for vendors like photographers to eat their meals. But if the 100 person limit is a fire code number, you might have to include them in the count) Either way, you always have to plan on 100% attendance.
    Ditto this!  Add in you and FI (many people forget to add themselves into the count) and count your vendors as people that count toward the room capacity.  The DJ or photographer is a live human being who will need to get out in the event of an emergency so they count toward room capacity. 

    The last thing you need is for your wedding to be shut down by the fire department.  I have seen it happen, not pretty. Try telling your guests "sorry we were all thrown out of the reception because we over-invited" on your thank you cards. That doesn't sound fun. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Is 100 the fire code capacity or just the maximum number of guests that can be seated comfortably for dinner and dancing?  That makes a huge difference.  If 100 is the fire code capacity, you need to either cut your guest list or find a new venue.  If 100 is the maximum number of guests that can be seated comfortably for dinner and dancing, do you have options to alter the layout to deal with additional guests if more than 100 RSVP yes?  Are you willing to give up a dance floor?  Our venue's stated capacity is 180 "comfortably," but the fire code is for 300 people, and because it's not a traditional reception space, we have different options for layouts that will allow us to handle slightly over 180 guests in the (extremely unlikely) event that we get 100% RSVPs.

    In your case, the event manager at your venue likely knows the space better than anyone, and if she is telling you that the maximum amount of people that can fit in the space is 100, I'd believe her.  Even if you can cut the guest list down (and do you really want to exclude 16% of your closest friends and family?), the venue will likely be somewhat cramped at maximum capacity.  I sympathize because I too had to rule out a beautiful venue that was too small, but finding a new venue will probably be your best bet.
  • We rented a room that they say holds 60-70 people. We were only inviting 35 people. DH was paranoid that the room was going to look empty and we should book a smaller room. Once we put in a dance floor, sweetheart table, gift table, escort card table, cake table, buffet, app table, and guest tables the room was completely full. There's no way it would have held 60-70 people like they said it did. Please don't invite more people than the venue is telling you it can hold. There is a reason they are telling you that number.
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  • We rented a room that they say holds 60-70 people. We were only inviting 35 people. DH was paranoid that the room was going to look empty and we should book a smaller room. Once we put in a dance floor, sweetheart table, gift table, escort card table, cake table, buffet, app table, and guest tables the room was completely full. There's no way it would have held 60-70 people like they said it did. Please don't invite more people than the venue is telling you it can hold. There is a reason they are telling you that number.
    FI has the same paranoia. Our venue has a capacity of 200. But 200 is tight. We invited 190, and are sitting at around 145 right now with declines. He's terrified it's going to look empty - I think it's going to be just right.

    We did our tasting and there was a wedding the night before with 90 people. Even that didn't look empty.
    Anniversary
  • I think I found the venue of my dreams! One problem! It only holds 100 people and I have 119 people that I want to send invites to.  I know for ALMOST fact that there are about 6 that probably wont come but that still leaves me over by 13.   I talked the lady at the venue about how many invites she thinks is safe send out vs how many people will show and she didn't budge from sending 100.  I'm really overwhelmed and confused.   I don't know really a specific question, but maybe if some of you could share your thoughts and what you did or would do in this situation.  THANKS!  :)

    If you want to invite 119 ppl then you need to find a different venue. Period.

    There's a recent post on this board from a bride that has all RSVP's in and has 100% attendance.


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Our venue held 200. We invited close to that.  We had around 70 attend.  With that many people the dance floor was packed.  The room would have held 200 but not the dance floor.  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Ditto PPs.  Max capacity generally means "wall to wall tables" so if you want a dance floor, room for a DJ, a cake table, buffet tables, etc even with 100 people attending it all won't fit.  Our venue told us it had a capacity of 176 (it was under construction at the time so we didn't actually see it).  When we went there 3 weeks before our 150 guest wedding, we realized that even with 26 fewer people than the "max" we had to make concessions in order to fit a dance floor (for example, our sweetheart table was set up on the dance floor for dinner and then removed after we ate).

     

    You have to figure out what is more important to you: celebrating with all of your nearest and dearest or using this particular venue. 

     

    And i agree, assume every single person on your guest list will have a SO by the time invites go out - that way you are prepared for the worst case scenario.

  • I was very careful to ask vendors how many people a room would hold *comfortably*. More often than not, they gave me a number that was approximately 20 below their "capacity" number.
  • I invited over capacity. And while we ended up being ok and not going over, it was sooo stressful.
    Whenever someone RSVPd yes that we were sure would be a 'no', I'd freak out. And I found myself happy to get declines... which, let's face it, is messed up.

    Even if you are lucky enough not to get 100% acceptance (which as all PPs have said, can happen), this venue is not worth the stress you'll feel as RSVPs come in, let alone the amount of stress that will pile on if you do go over limit.

    Please save yourself the possible headache and cut the guest list now, or find a new venue.

  • Also, keep in mind. When the "capacity" is 100, it doesn't really always sit them comfortably either. Alot of times that leaves to cramped, overcrowded tables. It also doesn't give flexibilty to have "extra" tables if your exact seating arrangedments aren't perfect
  • I can attest to "at capacity" = uncomfortable. 

    A wedding I attended a couple of years ago did the "invite more/expect some declines so we'll be at capacity" thing.  We were at capacity, maybe a few people below it, but apparently what my friend didn't realize is that when filled near capacity and having a sit-down dinner, the tables had to be smooshed so close together that you pretty much didn't have the option of getting up during dinner to get a beverage or use the restroom without causing a major disturbance for numerous tables (not just your own).  The tables were hugging the walls (and each other).  It was a plated dinner and the catering staff had to ask guests to get up from their seats so there was enough room to get through to bring the food to the tables in the middle/back.  Unfortunately, I was at one of the last tables served and it took so long because of all the shifting chairs/tables, getting up/down and squeezing through that the first tables were done eating by the time I even got my salad.
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