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Etiquette

What is the worst breach of etiquette you've ever seen?

My recent post about my sister's rehearsal dinner got me thinking... what is the tackiest thing you've seen at a wedding?  I have a good one...

A couple of years ago, we were invited to family member's wedding.  It was out of town (about an 8 hour drive for us).  Actually, the vast majority of the guests were from out of town like us. 

So we get the invitation and notice there is an 'A' reception and a 'B' reception.  The 'A' reception was right after the ceremony and .just for immediate family and close friends.  It included a catered dinner, a wedding cake, all the normal reception stuff.

The 'B' reception was for everyone else and occurred about 5 hours after the ceremony and just included dessert.  All guests invited to the 'B' reception had to provide their own meals and entertainment during the 5 hours that the 'A' reception was happening.  We, like most other guests, were invited to the 'B' reception.  We referred to it as the A list and B list, lol.

This is BY FAR the rudest and tackiest thing I have ever seen.  Just to have two receptions is incredibly offensive, not to mention that most people were from out of town.  Having to provide our own meal during that time just added to the cost of an already expensive weekend with gas, hotel, and other meal costs.

One other thing I thought was weird was that I was invited to (and attended) the bridal shower.  So I was good enough for the shower, but not good enough for the real reception?  Seriously??

Needless to say, we attended the wedding, but they did not receive a gift.
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Re: What is the worst breach of etiquette you've ever seen?

  • Last December H was a GM in a wedding on the other side of the country. We flew across the country, got a hotel, rented a car, the whole 9 yards. 

    1) The black tux he already owns wasn't good enough - he had to spend $260 to rent a black Vera Wang tux - literally the only difference was the stripe in the side of the pants... 
    2) they ran out of food at the RD
    3) They each played a slide show from birth to present at their RD - coupled with about 45 minutes of speeches. JFC
    4) The bride demanded that the GMs arrive at noon the day of the wedding to "get ready", didn't serve lunch or allow anyone to leave to get lunch. All the GMs were starving when arriving at cocktail hour. H gets hangry and it wasn't pretty.
    *THE WORST PART* - the reception was in a giant ball room. All the tables were reserved for family and the WP (not spouses, SOs or dates). There was a small room behind the kitchen with a couple of 2 and 4 seater restaurant style tables. We (another GM's wife and I) were told if we didn't have a seat to sit in that room. There weren't enough seats for all the people who were banished from the ball room. So we went back out and crowded around a cocktail table - 10 of us - with our winter coats on the floor in a corner of the room (no coat check). H's parents and the parents of other GMs didn't have seats either. Several with knee/joint problems left early they were in so much pain. And they ran out of food again and didn't serve a meal. 

    We spent over $1,000 on that wedding and it's literally the worst/rudest wedding I have ever in my life been to or heard of.
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  • mamahappy said:
    My recent post about my sister's rehearsal dinner got me thinking... what is the tackiest thing you've seen at a wedding?  I have a good one...

    A couple of years ago, we were invited to family member's wedding.  It was out of town (about an 8 hour drive for us).  Actually, the vast majority of the guests were from out of town like us. 

    So we get the invitation and notice there is an 'A' reception and a 'B' reception.  The 'A' reception was right after the ceremony and .just for immediate family and close friends.  It included a catered dinner, a wedding cake, all the normal reception stuff.

    The 'B' reception was for everyone else and occurred about 5 hours after the ceremony and just included dessert.  All guests invited to the 'B' reception had to provide their own meals and entertainment during the 5 hours that the 'A' reception was happening.  We, like most other guests, were invited to the 'B' reception.  We referred to it as the A list and B list, lol.

    This is BY FAR the rudest and tackiest thing I have ever seen.  Just to have two receptions is incredibly offensive, not to mention that most people were from out of town.  Having to provide our own meal during that time just added to the cost of an already expensive weekend with gas, hotel, and other meal costs.

    One other thing I thought was weird was that I was invited to (and attended) the bridal shower.  So I was good enough for the shower, but not good enough for the real reception?  Seriously??

    Needless to say, we attended the wedding, but they did not receive a gift.

    SIB
    I have to ask, why did you attend at all?
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Just wrote about this in another thread:

    The worst breach of etiquette I had ever seen was not having a table for me at the wedding. I should preface by saying that dh was a groomsmen at the wedding. He got an invitation in the mail and my name wasn't on it even though we were engaged at the time. DH calls the groom to find out what happened and the groom confirms I was invited. When we got to the reception, we found out that DH was sitting at the sweetheart table without me. Meanwhile, my  name wasn't even on the list so they didn't know what table to put me at. They ended up placing me at some random corner table in the back by myself. I didn't move until DH got involved and refused to leave me alone and some other girl saying that bride had a seat for me at her table. Not only was that the worst breach of etiquette, it was the most embarrassing thing I'v encountered at a wedding. I didn't want to show my face at all. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    lennonkdc

  • mysticl said:
    mamahappy said:
    My recent post about my sister's rehearsal dinner got me thinking... what is the tackiest thing you've seen at a wedding?  I have a good one...

    A couple of years ago, we were invited to family member's wedding.  It was out of town (about an 8 hour drive for us).  Actually, the vast majority of the guests were from out of town like us. 

    So we get the invitation and notice there is an 'A' reception and a 'B' reception.  The 'A' reception was right after the ceremony and .just for immediate family and close friends.  It included a catered dinner, a wedding cake, all the normal reception stuff.

    The 'B' reception was for everyone else and occurred about 5 hours after the ceremony and just included dessert.  All guests invited to the 'B' reception had to provide their own meals and entertainment during the 5 hours that the 'A' reception was happening.  We, like most other guests, were invited to the 'B' reception.  We referred to it as the A list and B list, lol.

    This is BY FAR the rudest and tackiest thing I have ever seen.  Just to have two receptions is incredibly offensive, not to mention that most people were from out of town.  Having to provide our own meal during that time just added to the cost of an already expensive weekend with gas, hotel, and other meal costs.

    One other thing I thought was weird was that I was invited to (and attended) the bridal shower.  So I was good enough for the shower, but not good enough for the real reception?  Seriously??

    Needless to say, we attended the wedding, but they did not receive a gift.

    SIB
    I have to ask, why did you attend at all?
    I think mostly because we felt pressured.... everyone else in our family was going and my husband just felt too guilty not going.
  • Last December H was a GM in a wedding on the other side of the country. We flew across the country, got a hotel, rented a car, the whole 9 yards. 

    1) The black tux he already owns wasn't good enough - he had to spend $260 to rent a black Vera Wang tux - literally the only difference was the stripe in the side of the pants... 
    2) they ran out of food at the RD
    3) They each played a slide show from birth to present at their RD - coupled with about 45 minutes of speeches. JFC
    4) The bride demanded that the GMs arrive at noon the day of the wedding to "get ready", didn't serve lunch or allow anyone to leave to get lunch. All the GMs were starving when arriving at cocktail hour. H gets hangry and it wasn't pretty.
    *THE WORST PART* - the reception was in a giant ball room. All the tables were reserved for family and the WP (not spouses, SOs or dates). There was a small room behind the kitchen with a couple of 2 and 4 seater restaurant style tables. We (another GM's wife and I) were told if we didn't have a seat to sit in that room. There weren't enough seats for all the people who were banished from the ball room. So we went back out and crowded around a cocktail table - 10 of us - with our winter coats on the floor in a corner of the room (no coat check). H's parents and the parents of other GMs didn't have seats either. Several with knee/joint problems left early they were in so much pain. And they ran out of food again and didn't serve a meal. 

    We spent over $1,000 on that wedding and it's literally the worst/rudest wedding I have ever in my life been to or heard of.
    This wedding sounds like Wedding PTSD nightmare fuel.  I would be so bitter and so angry.  Honestly, it sounds friendship-ending.

    I was just speaking to a coworker who went to her cousin's engagement party where all of the bride's family was there and none of the groom's family.  Coworker asked where his family was and bride basically told her that was her choice for this event.  Coworker asked her mother the same question and her mother just shushed her.  Coworker is a BM in this wedding.  I cannot wait until June 2015 to see how this wedding turns out!  Assuming they make it to the altar (she's been engaged twice before but has never made it this far.)
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited July 2014
    I've got one. The couple was already married for military benefits. They planned a PPD, with him paying for takeout Indian food after an outdoor "wedding". Groom invited his parents, sister and her husband. The MOG offered to do a rehearsal dinner but the groom said no, only family was going to out Friday night to dinner. When the groom's parents arrived after a cross-country flight, his mom said, where are we going to eat. Groom said anywhere you want to. The Friday night dinner was only for the bride's 50 family members. Even the groom, to say nothing of his four guests, wasn't invited.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I was invited to a wedding last year without my boyfriend of 2 years. The couple had decided to invite other couples on a couple basis only if they were engaged or married, which my boyfriend and I were not.
  • @goldchocobo - For me, it is and I totally would have cut these people off. However, it's H's college buddy and he's too laid back about this stuff... He basically saw this as temporary discomfort and a small oversight whereas I saw it as MAJOR disrespect and clear lines between guests they cared about and guests they didn't care about. 
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  • AlexisA01AlexisA01 Dubai, my royal playground. member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited July 2014
    I think the worst one was splitting up family members.
    When I was about 17 one of my childhood friends was getting married. She just turned 18. We were all neighbors and she sent the invites out to my parents, 2 brothers, and the rest of my neighbors for her local wedding at the beach. She left out me and the rest of my siblings. She essentially split up our family but address the invitation "The A Family" and on the inside of the card was my parents and my brothers' names. One of my brother's was the same age as me and the other was younger. Ever since then it rubbed me the wrong way and I would never want to split up families.
    ETA: She invited me to the shower and I attended also helping with making desserts.

    Live fast, die young. Bad Girls do it well. Suki Zuki.

  • Being invited to a shower and not the wedding. Super rude!
    I was told several times that it "was very small wedding" (part 1 of 2). Okay, that's totally fine to have a small wedding, but then you have to have a small shower.
    Turns out part one of the wedding had about 100 people in attendance. Not so "small" if you ask me.
    Tacky McTackerson.
    lodele47
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Worst breach of etiquette I've personally seen...
    FOB taking shots out of the cleavage of a GM's date, then passing out on a prep table in the kitchen. Followed by SisOB/BM and her baby daddy getting in a verbal fight that resulted in a fist fight.
    But I can't blame either of those breaches on the B&G.

    I've been pretty lucky - other than that the worst breaches have been a dollar dance here and there. And several of the dreaded GAPS...hate the gap.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • saacjwsaacjw member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    I was invited to a wedding by my next door neighbor from childhood. He must have had nothing to do with the invites because he (and his mother) knew that a) my name and my brother's last names were not the same as my mother's b) she kept her maiden name when she married my stepdad c) that my first name spelling for a VERY common first name that has two common spellings, d) that I lived out of town and finally e) that I was engaged. I should also mention that he and I are facebook friends, so it would have literally taken 3 seconds to figure this stuff out.  

    So imagine my surprise when I got a call from my mother saying an invite had arrived for his wedding at her house addressed to My First Name (misspelled) My Mother's Last Name + guest. My brother then called to inform me that he had received an invite for My Brother's Name My Mom's Name. Again, my neighbor had worked for my brother, with kids, the year before, so they referred to each other at work as Mr. Neighbor's last name and Mr. Brother's last name because it was a school like situation. My mom was addressed as Mrs Step-Dad's name, which is sorta understandable, just annoying icing. We found out later, from my neighbor's mom, that his fiancee had taken over the guest list, didn't bother double checking anything with anyone, including my neighbor and his facebook and sent them to the calligrapher. I'd dismiss it as an honest mistake, except that my wedding was just a few weeks after theirs and my husband and I were meticulous in making sure everyone's names were spelled right and that their SOs were included and it's honestly not that hard, especially with the internet. We didn't go to the wedding, but apparently it was lovely, although my mother found some things to complain about, I can't remember anything major. 

    The worst breech of etiquette though- not doing table visits or any sort of receiving line. THANK YOUR GUESTS FOR COMING. Personally. That night. It sucks that it takes you away from dancing/eating time, but that's just part of hosting. 
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  • TerriHugg said:
    Just wrote about this in another thread:

    The worst breach of etiquette I had ever seen was not having a table for me at the wedding. I should preface by saying that dh was a groomsmen at the wedding. He got an invitation in the mail and my name wasn't on it even though we were engaged at the time. DH calls the groom to find out what happened and the groom confirms I was invited. When we got to the reception, we found out that DH was sitting at the sweetheart table without me. Meanwhile, my  name wasn't even on the list so they didn't know what table to put me at. They ended up placing me at some random corner table in the back by myself. I didn't move until DH got involved and refused to leave me alone and some other girl saying that bride had a seat for me at her table. Not only was that the worst breach of etiquette, it was the most embarrassing thing I'v encountered at a wedding. I didn't want to show my face at all. 
    Isn't a sweetheart table a table with just the bride and groom?


    The biggest one I've faced at a wedding I've actually attended was a gap. The church was about 45 minutes away from my house. The reception venue was about an hour from my house, 15 minutes from church. Both the church and the venue was in the city, so it's not a situation where we could just drive home and take a nap or what ever such nonsense brides assume we're supposed to do. It's a freaking long ass commute in city traffic. So we wandered around a shitty part of the neighborhood trying to kill time. In heels. One of us was pregnant. In heels. Her knee length dress kept blowing up in the wind. That killed about 20 minutes. We finally settled on a hole-in-the-wall diner. We ate. That took another 45 minutes. Only 2 hours left to kill. I was with a couple of friends, but I was friends with both couples, they weren't friends with each other. And didn't want to be. No one gets along with one of their husbands. It was just awkward and weird and I kept having to bring up topics to talk about. I just wanted to get out of there. By the time we headed over to the reception hall, I was exhausted, my feet hurt, and all I wanted to do was go to bed and pee in a clean bathroom.
    image
  • TerriHugg said:
    Just wrote about this in another thread:

    The worst breach of etiquette I had ever seen was not having a table for me at the wedding. I should preface by saying that dh was a groomsmen at the wedding. He got an invitation in the mail and my name wasn't on it even though we were engaged at the time. DH calls the groom to find out what happened and the groom confirms I was invited. When we got to the reception, we found out that DH was sitting at the sweetheart table without me. Meanwhile, my  name wasn't even on the list so they didn't know what table to put me at. They ended up placing me at some random corner table in the back by myself. I didn't move until DH got involved and refused to leave me alone and some other girl saying that bride had a seat for me at her table. Not only was that the worst breach of etiquette, it was the most embarrassing thing I'v encountered at a wedding. I didn't want to show my face at all. 
    Isn't a sweetheart table a table with just the bride and groom?


    The biggest one I've faced at a wedding I've actually attended was a gap. The church was about 45 minutes away from my house. The reception venue was about an hour from my house, 15 minutes from church. Both the church and the venue was in the city, so it's not a situation where we could just drive home and take a nap or what ever such nonsense brides assume we're supposed to do. It's a freaking long ass commute in city traffic. So we wandered around a shitty part of the neighborhood trying to kill time. In heels. One of us was pregnant. In heels. Her knee length dress kept blowing up in the wind. That killed about 20 minutes. We finally settled on a hole-in-the-wall diner. We ate. That took another 45 minutes. Only 2 hours left to kill. I was with a couple of friends, but I was friends with both couples, they weren't friends with each other. And didn't want to be. No one gets along with one of their husbands. It was just awkward and weird and I kept having to bring up topics to talk about. I just wanted to get out of there. By the time we headed over to the reception hall, I was exhausted, my feet hurt, and all I wanted to do was go to bed and pee in a clean bathroom.
    In regards, to the bolded: Maybe it's not a sweetheart table, but it was the table for the bride, groom and wedding party. Don't know what that's called then
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  • TerriHugg said:
    TerriHugg said:
    Just wrote about this in another thread:

    The worst breach of etiquette I had ever seen was not having a table for me at the wedding. I should preface by saying that dh was a groomsmen at the wedding. He got an invitation in the mail and my name wasn't on it even though we were engaged at the time. DH calls the groom to find out what happened and the groom confirms I was invited. When we got to the reception, we found out that DH was sitting at the sweetheart table without me. Meanwhile, my  name wasn't even on the list so they didn't know what table to put me at. They ended up placing me at some random corner table in the back by myself. I didn't move until DH got involved and refused to leave me alone and some other girl saying that bride had a seat for me at her table. Not only was that the worst breach of etiquette, it was the most embarrassing thing I'v encountered at a wedding. I didn't want to show my face at all. 
    Isn't a sweetheart table a table with just the bride and groom?


    The biggest one I've faced at a wedding I've actually attended was a gap. The church was about 45 minutes away from my house. The reception venue was about an hour from my house, 15 minutes from church. Both the church and the venue was in the city, so it's not a situation where we could just drive home and take a nap or what ever such nonsense brides assume we're supposed to do. It's a freaking long ass commute in city traffic. So we wandered around a shitty part of the neighborhood trying to kill time. In heels. One of us was pregnant. In heels. Her knee length dress kept blowing up in the wind. That killed about 20 minutes. We finally settled on a hole-in-the-wall diner. We ate. That took another 45 minutes. Only 2 hours left to kill. I was with a couple of friends, but I was friends with both couples, they weren't friends with each other. And didn't want to be. No one gets along with one of their husbands. It was just awkward and weird and I kept having to bring up topics to talk about. I just wanted to get out of there. By the time we headed over to the reception hall, I was exhausted, my feet hurt, and all I wanted to do was go to bed and pee in a clean bathroom.
    In regards, to the bolded: Maybe it's not a sweetheart table, but it was the table for the bride, groom and wedding party. Don't know what that's called then
    Head table
    image
    TerriHugg
  • TerriHugg said:
    TerriHugg said:
    Just wrote about this in another thread:

    The worst breach of etiquette I had ever seen was not having a table for me at the wedding. I should preface by saying that dh was a groomsmen at the wedding. He got an invitation in the mail and my name wasn't on it even though we were engaged at the time. DH calls the groom to find out what happened and the groom confirms I was invited. When we got to the reception, we found out that DH was sitting at the sweetheart table without me. Meanwhile, my  name wasn't even on the list so they didn't know what table to put me at. They ended up placing me at some random corner table in the back by myself. I didn't move until DH got involved and refused to leave me alone and some other girl saying that bride had a seat for me at her table. Not only was that the worst breach of etiquette, it was the most embarrassing thing I'v encountered at a wedding. I didn't want to show my face at all. 
    Isn't a sweetheart table a table with just the bride and groom?


    The biggest one I've faced at a wedding I've actually attended was a gap. The church was about 45 minutes away from my house. The reception venue was about an hour from my house, 15 minutes from church. Both the church and the venue was in the city, so it's not a situation where we could just drive home and take a nap or what ever such nonsense brides assume we're supposed to do. It's a freaking long ass commute in city traffic. So we wandered around a shitty part of the neighborhood trying to kill time. In heels. One of us was pregnant. In heels. Her knee length dress kept blowing up in the wind. That killed about 20 minutes. We finally settled on a hole-in-the-wall diner. We ate. That took another 45 minutes. Only 2 hours left to kill. I was with a couple of friends, but I was friends with both couples, they weren't friends with each other. And didn't want to be. No one gets along with one of their husbands. It was just awkward and weird and I kept having to bring up topics to talk about. I just wanted to get out of there. By the time we headed over to the reception hall, I was exhausted, my feet hurt, and all I wanted to do was go to bed and pee in a clean bathroom.
    In regards, to the bolded: Maybe it's not a sweetheart table, but it was the table for the bride, groom and wedding party. Don't know what that's called then
    Head table.  
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  • ^^^ Duh. Can't believe I forgot! Thanks for clearing that up.
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  • Put me on my mom's invite and misspelled my name two different ways. a) I was 28, and b) No, I wasn't seeing anyone, but you don't know me well enough to know that. They used white labels, too.

    And a dollar dance. And bloody meat. And he had his head up her dress.
  • AuroraRose41AuroraRose41 New York member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I actually just went to one this past Saturday that was by far the worst wedding I have ever been to. I did comment about it on a thread over on NEY (where I mostly hang out), but figured you guys might appreciate this. 

    First of all, my BF's name was not on the invite, and I was not even given a generic plus one either, even though we have been together almost as long as the bride and groom had. I asked the groom (who I know better than the bride) if BF was invited, especially since I would have to travel from California to NY for this wedding (and didn't want to without my BF!). Fortunately it was an oversight on their part, and they apologized and told me of course he was. Okay, I was willing to let that slide in hopes that the wedding would be better. 

    So, the invitation said that the wedding was at 3 pm at a well known historic hotel in Upstate NY. BF and I arrive at 2:40 pm, walk into the hotel lobby, and see a sign listing the events for the wedding. A woman who works at the hotel is standing nearby it (presumably the coordinator), so we ask her where the ceremony is taking place. Her response : "Oh, it's about a mile and a half down the road in the park by well known landmark.". So, BF and I get back in the car and my mother drives us (she and my father live in the area in NY and offered to drive us there) down to the park near that landmark, and we do not see chairs set up for a ceremony anywhere. It is now 2:55 pm, and I had to call my friend who luckily was there already, and she directed us to where it was occurring. Our butts hit the seats as the music for the processional started playing. We made it just in time, but other guests did come late to the ceremony because they couldn't find it. The ceremony ended a little before 4 pm, and everyone just stood around afterward for a good 10-15 minutes not knowing where to go. Finally someone mentioned having to go back to the hotel for the cocktail hour. It was 85 degrees outside, with 90% humidity, and I was wearing 4 inch heels. I was not a happy camper, but figured that I could grin and bear it and grab a drink as soon as we got to the hotel, so I could deal with it. 

    We get to the hotel, and we don't see the cocktail hour anywhere. We ask the same hotel employee where it is taking place. She tells us that we have the right location, it just isn't set up yet as it doesn't start until 5. I just walked a long distance in heels in the heat and you can't even give me free water for another freaking hour?! Now I was pissed off. BF and I went and found the hotel bar and got drinks to cool off and sit while passing the time of the gap. The hotel wasn't even ready by 5 pm, and didn't let people in until 5:30. BF and I are re-hydrated after buying our own drinks, and go to the cocktail hour. It is in a narrow room right outside of the reception room, with barely enough standing room for the 100 guests, and no seats despite the grandmother of the groom having limited mobility and needing a walker to get around. The bride and groom showed up to it as well (probably the reason for the gap). 

    Once the reception space was opened for dinner, the rest of it was perfectly etiquette approved (seats for everyone, hot food and enough for everyone, open bar), but BF and I and all of our friends were very annoyed by that point of the evening. 

  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    FI and I just received an invite to his friend's wedding. "FI and Guest." We're getting married three weeks after they are. We saw them the week before the invite arrived.

    Wtf. Seriously, do people do that figuring if one person can't come, the friend can bring someone else?
    FI figured his friend was too embarrassed to ask how to spell my last name. It's not on FB.
    ________________________________


  • FI and I just received an invite to his friend's wedding. "FI and Guest." We're getting married three weeks after they are. We saw them the week before the invite arrived. Wtf. Seriously, do people do that figuring if one person can't come, the friend can bring someone else? FI figured his friend was too embarrassed to ask how to spell my last name. It's not on FB.
    Maybe.  But the name spelling is a good guess too.  
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  • This actually happened at our rehearsal dinner the night before my first wedding:

    I received a call from a friend of ex-H's about mid-day the day before our wedding. He was out picking up his two best friends from high school from the airport and their wives, as they were to be co-best men. The friend called to see if "the guys" could take ex-H out that night for an impromptu bachelor party. Um, no. All of our families were only here for the weekend, including elderly grandparents, ex-H's estranged Dad and the above-mentioned best friends among them. I apologized, explained that "the guys" had had 9 months to plan something and they missed the boat, that the night before our wedding wasn't great timing and basically NO. As it was coming out of my mouth I started feeling shrew-like and didn't want his friends thinking he was hen-pecked (oh, 24 year olds!). So I came up with a compromise. I told her where we'd be, at what time, etc. I told her to let the guys know we planned on being finished with dinner around 9:30 and they should come up to the restaurant for a toast and a nightcap. She said she'd pass it along.

    As our entrees were arriving at about 8:30 a few of his buddies ran in to the restaurant, physically grabbed ex-H from his seat as he protested, hoisted him above their heads and the heads of waiting guests and cocktailers in the bar area and left with him. Literally kidnapped him from our rehearsal dinner without a word.

    In their haste they didn't bother to come back in and invite his best friends or brothers, or to let anyone know what was going on. This was before everyone had a cell phone so no one knew where they were or anything. All of our guests were mortified and rightfully upset. His best friends were clearly pissed off because it was really the only night they all had to socialize together. I didn't see or talk to him until I met him at the alter the next day. His Grandmother gave most of the guys she recognized a piece of her mind at the reception. It was so uncool, awkward and yea, rude and tacky. 

  • At my mom's best friend's daughter's wedding, the ceremony was in an old church that held maybe 50 people. Half the pews were broken and could not be used, so there was seating for maybe 30. She had invited over 200 to the ceremony. So 100 people crammed into the building, many standing 5 or 6 deep in the back. Another 100 had to wait outside. The bridal party and bride had to wrestle themselves down the aisle through all of those people. It was the tackiest thing ever.

    And their money dance went on much longer than the 10 people interested in participating justified. Like 5 or 6 songs of awkward.
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    One of fi's high school friend's wedding was such a nightmare. I will only go into the reception part because the ceremony was fairly straight forward (except for the part were they did a pass the plate collection to pay for the church.... yeah... seriously).

    1.) On the invitation it said that they needed money to go to Mauritius for honeymoon 
    2.) We all were literally yelled at by the photographer for not bringing confetti for them as they left the church. (apparently BYOC is a thing?!).
    3.) Three hour gap- but didn't tell us it was a gap. We showed up at the reception site and were given 1 free drink. After hour 1 everyone is getting antsy so they open the cash bar which is £5 for a diet coke, £10 for a glass of cheap white wine (About US$9 and US$16). The only food is a sweets table which is gone very soon. I wish I had at least known it was a gap instead of just waiting around the door to the reception area (also, only 2 sofas for 100 people, so we are standing fro 3 hours!).
    4.) We were put in essentially a B room adjacent to the main room. We were barked at to leave our meals and go stand awkwardly in between the tables in the A room to listen to their hour of speeches
    5.) Entertainment was the groom's HORRIBLE wannabe metal/rock band (like high school talent show bad). 
    6.) Because of the running late of the cocktail hourS, the "evening guests" (guests invited to come for the dancing portion) showed up halfway through dinner and had to stand along the wall and watch us finish our meal. 
    7.) No thank you note
  • I've written about this one before, but this one takes the cake.

    FI and our Best Man were not invited with a guest, even though we had been together 5 years and our Best Man had been with his gf 8 years (they weren't the marrying kind, so apparently they don't get to bring each other to weddings?)

    Groom calls the boys the week of and asks if they can come early and help park cars.

    Reception kicks off with a 45-60 minute dance recital (bride was a dance teacher- cute but way too long)

    Dinner was a buffet- by the time the boys got to the food, there was nothing left- and it was pushing 10pm by that point
    image
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    @LondonLisa‌ Your new text speak, BYOC, cracks me up!
    LondonLisaMrsDeRuyter87
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Unfortunately my cousin's wedding was really bad. The reception venue was an hour drive from the church. We had to wait another hour for the cocktail hour to start. Open bar only for the cocktail hour, then it switched to a cash bar. Thankfully the hotel had an ATM. 

    No seating chart or place cards. Just a free-for-all one we got into the dining room. All of us family members wanted to sit together. We ended up having to all squeeze together at one of the really small tables. 

    It was buffet style and they ran out of food. By the time I got to the buffet, there was hardly anything left. 

  • lodele47lodele47 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    edited July 2014
    I'm a bride and am experiencing bad etiquette from guests/family/wedding party... 1) My fiance's aunt (who generously offered to host my shower) invited tons of super extended family who are not invited to the wedding! I met a lot of them for the first time at my shower (my fiance has NEVER met most of them and they are his family!) and felt obligated to invite anyone who actually attended the shower to the wedding...which literally maxed out our guest list. 2) One of my bridesmaids asked my MOH to add her good friend, and my acquaintance, (not invited to the wedding) to the bachelorette party invite. She didn't even think to clear it with me first. 3) We're having an adults only wedding..personally this is how I feel all weddings should be but I digress. Guests have been contacting me asking me if their children are invited to the wedding (including one of the bridal shower attendees whom my fiance has never even met). I was worried about people trying to bring random plus ones...instead everyone is trying to bring their children. It's pretty simple: Was your screaming, pooping, snotty, running-around-like-a-chicken-with-its-head-cutoff child included on the wedding invitation? No? Then they're not invited. Along those same lines, we invited the bf/gf of everyone in a relationship. We did not hand out random plus ones. If your significant other is not invited to a wedding, do NOT ASK the bride and groom if it was a mistake. It wasn't, they're rude and you shouldn't feel obligated to attend.
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