Wedding Etiquette Forum

a

2

Re: a

  • In my personal inbox. Lovely. 
  • Having just read through the thread. I don't think anyone was skewering you. 

    People were blunt. You were somewhat defensive. Some replies became blunter. Everyone walks away with new knowledge.

    As far as internet conversations go, this was exceddlingly civil.
    image



    Anniversary
  • Deleting your posts is rude, and changing the thread title just made your post stand out all the more.  You'll get three times the traffic now.



  • Yeah, deleting your post just brings more attention to it. You were already quoted. 

    image
  • I appreciate the people who did. I just genuinely dont want my inbox filled with rude things when I asked a question. 
  • I appreciate the people who did. I just genuinely dont want my inbox filled with rude things when I asked a question. 
    Did somebody actually send you a private message berating you?  Or do you mean this thread when you say "my inbox"?



  • Thats fine I was quoted. I got defensive because I literally have no idea what to do with this small group, but everything will go on and be fine.
  • Someone PM'd you something rude? What did it say?? That's messed up. 
  • Thats fine I was quoted. I got defensive because I literally have no idea what to do with this small group, but everything will go on and be fine.
    The point is that by being quoted you didn't actually make your post go away.  You just drew more people to it.  If you want it to "go away" don't comment anymore and it will die down on it's own.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Have a margarita, cause margaritas make everything better.
    image

    And seriously, if someone is sending you rude PM's , notify @knotporscha, cause that shit ain't cute. 
    image



    Anniversary
  • Thats fine I was quoted. I got defensive because I literally have no idea what to do with this small group, but everything will go on and be fine.
    Would you please answer my question?

    We've told you what to do with this small group.  Either invite them with their Significant Others, or don't invite them at all.  Same goes for every other guest who considers themselves to be in a relationship.



  • Thanks Southernbelle, I didn't say I was leaving them off. They will be welcomed with open arms, just wanted to get the correct etiquette without being skewered, which is apparently impossible on this site. 

    So please, I came here to ask a question, not knowing and your rudeness is clearly almost to my level.

    Your opinion on how I met these people is as irrelevant as my own comment which I made in order to clear up any questions as to why I said "friends" because people dont care to know the nitty gritty, which is fine by me. 
    I am not rude for telling you what proper etiquette is. That's why this board exists. I stated zero opinions about your friends (please go back and re-read)...so I'm not even going to address that.

    Would you think I was less rude if I sprinkled my post with pictures of kittens and rainbows? Here you go:
    image
    *********************************************************************************

    image
  • slothiegalslothiegal member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited July 2014
    Where were you skewered? 
    image
    ETA: If someone did PM your private inbox, I agree, that is fucked up and please report that.
    Anniversary

    image
  • I appreciate the people who did. I just genuinely dont want my inbox filled with rude things when I asked a question. 
    That's fucked up, yo. Please do report that, because it's unacceptable. Obviously people get impassioned on the threads, but needling someone in their inbox is shitty. If you can't say it publicly in a thread, then it shouldn't be said!
    image
    This baby knows exactly how I feel
  • Molly no one was rude here. Very blunt, but not rude.

    Perhaps you took it that way as many here have very strong opinions on this topic. But this is the etiquette board & you asked the question.

    Hopefully you see now how important it is to honor your friends & family by inviting their SO's. Good luck with the rest of your planning.
  • Bring on the puppies!!

    image
    image
    image
  • In my personal inbox. Lovely. 
    Unacceptable. I am sorry that happened to you and I do strongly encourage you to report the offenders as that kind of behavior should not be tolerated. 

    Hopefully, you will stick around and give the boards another chance. I had a rough start with these boards too but am glad I stuck around as a lot of the users here have a lot of valuable information to share. 
  • OP should correct me if I'm wrong, but I think she might have the setting set for "email replies" so she gets an email every time someone replies to her post. At least that's how I read it.

    If someone is private messaging and harassing, I agree that is unacceptable.
  • I came for the puppies.

    image

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • AddieCake said:
    I'm skeptical that anyone is sending you ugly PMs on this issue b/c that is usually done by newbs getting butthurt when they don't get the validation they sought. However, if someone is doing it, you should definitely report it.
    Especially since this topic comes up virtually every day. Jules might be right that she's got her settings to give her email notifications when people reply to her post. 
    image
  • I got a nasty note in my theknot inbox. I dont get emails because I just use the knot for ideas. It was someone who thinks I approached things the wrong way with my question, and I did, and thinks I need to rethink my "whole wedding and life" 
  • I got a nasty note in my theknot inbox. I dont get emails because I just use the knot for ideas. It was someone who thinks I approached things the wrong way with my question, and I did, and thinks I need to rethink my "whole wedding and life" 
    1. Report that user to KnotPorscha then. 

    2. Let's talk about general vs. specific. People told you the etiquette rules for inviting SOs and made general comments about how people plan weddings. No one specifically said, "You'll have a terrible wedding and marriage! Rethink it now!" Everyone generally said planning what you want without regard to others' feelings is a crummy life attitude. Specific vs. general. 
    image
  • It was a lot more of that with a lot of curse words. Its been reported and was a direct angry note. Thats all we can all live and move on. 
  • For the record, I think there are still "etiquette resources" out there (the likes of Miss Manners, Dear Abby, and Emily Post) that offer the rule that S/O's needn't be invited unless a couple is a "social unit" aka living together, engaged, or married. 

    I wouldn't have had a clue that I couldn't draw that line unless I'd come to this etiquette forum. There are "rules" (whether real or misguided), and then there are explanations of rules, and I think that's the value in TK forums.  You have real people providing feedback on how it feels when a "rule" is incorrectly followed or if a "rule" is bogus.  
    ________________________________


  • MGPMGP member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    My friends are a priority, these are the outside few that also requested invitations from mutual people close to me and do not speak to most of my close friends anymore. 

    These were just the fray that I had no idea what to do. Thanks. 

    Also, I was not offended when some of my friends did that because it was known that they were unable to host, and that I was there to support their relationship and ours as friends. 
    So let me get this straight - people you are not friends with asked to be invited to your wedding through mutual friends?  Who cares if they have a SO or not. They are clearly not on your guest list. Problem solved. 
  •  It was my understanding that So's needed to be invited when the couple made their relationship known. As in, they declared they were a couple or social unit. If the couple had not done this, then one not need to invite them together as a social unit. 
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards