Not Engaged Yet

Relationships with SO's

ShallowSeasShallowSeas Indianapolis, IN member
Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
What are some things you and you SO do to help maintain or strengthen/build your relationship? Any activities you always do together or traditions you keep? Anything you have to do daily?


Since FI and I moved in with each other very early into our relationship, we didn't want to stop 'dating' just because we were living together, so each week we have a designated 'date night'.  If we go out somewhere we get all fancied up, but regardless of what we do, we have one rule: No cell phones the whole night. We don't make phone calls, we don't text, we don't get on social media, nothing. We focus on spending time with each other and enjoying each others' company.  Its my favorite night of the week.

We also do most things together. If I have to run to the store to get something, he goes with me unless for some reason he can't and vice versa. I don't really know why we do this. I don't mind going places alone and he doesn't mind it either, but we just always go with each other.

We almost always fall asleep holding hands. Usually he is laying on his back with his hand down to his side and I'm curled up on my side facing him with my opposite hand holding his. I hate waking up feeling like I didn't get to cuddle with him right before bed. There's only been a couple times where I was so tired that I passed out as soon as I hit the pillow and when I wake up the morning I'm sad that we didn't cuddle.

We always kiss each other good night. No matter what. Sometimes if we're super tired we may pass out before we get to, but usually one of us will wake up during the middle of the night, realize we didn't kiss goodnight, and wake the other one up to kiss them. I'm a bitch if you wake me up from sleep before my alarm, but I'm always happy to wake up for a kiss :)
Anniversary
image
 
[Deleted User]GoldenPenguin[Deleted User]doubleSS07LabLove86
«1

Re: Relationships with SO's

  • Every time my BF and I do something new, and it goes well, we feel that much stronger. I'm talking first road trip, first camping trip, first weekend away, etc. . . He got me to climb a mountain this summer. I was FREAKING OUT and had a panic attack on the way down. We were with a group of 6, but he stayed behind and went slowly with me to make sure I had a hand to hold if I needed it. He's one of those that likes to be in front, lead the pack, be the best, you know? When I realized how much self control it probably took him to stay behind and be there to support me, I knew that he truly loved me. This summer, by far, has been the best of my life. I hope we continue to try new things together.

    Good night kisses and home from work kisses are a must. Date night on every monthiversary (not to celebrate, but just to make sure we're getting out of the house).
  • eilis1228eilis1228 Southwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    @severmilli12 AWWWWW! You guys are really sweet! 

    FI and I always eat dinner together. There have only been a few times when one of us has eaten without the other, and it's usually when the other person is working really late.

    I travel once a month or so for work, and I always take one of FI's shirts to sleep in, and we FaceTime every night so we can still each other. 

    We do the grocery shopping and errand-running together too. 

    We also text/chat on gmail throughout the day. We can't go very long without talking to the other person. 

    I usually go to bed before him, but he'll always tuck me in and kiss me goodnight. 



    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Every time my BF and I do something new, and it goes well, we feel that much stronger. I'm talking first road trip, first camping trip, first weekend away, etc. . . He got me to climb a mountain this summer. I was FREAKING OUT and had a panic attack on the way down. We were with a group of 6, but he stayed behind and went slowly with me to make sure I had a hand to hold if I needed it. He's one of those that likes to be in front, lead the pack, be the best, you know? When I realized how much self control it probably took him to stay behind and be there to support me, I knew that he truly loved me. This summer, by far, has been the best of my life. I hope we continue to try new things together.

    Good night kisses and home from work kisses are a must. Date night on every monthiversary (not to celebrate, but just to make sure we're getting out of the house).


    YAY, I say monthiversary too!

     

    image

    Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Anniversary tickers

    [Deleted User]
  • My H is all about doing everything together. I've found that I am sorta bipolar about it. I tend to get annoyed with grocery shopping together, for example, but sometimes I like that we go together. Even if I do absolutely nothing important for that errand. He plans the meals, writes the grocery list, navigates the store like a pro, and puts the items on the belt and pays. I'm responsible for the shopping cart. I push it.
    cu97tiger
  • We always kiss each other before leaving for work...even if we are mad at each other. 

    @Severmilli12 - Like you, H and I have a date night but we usually have it at home. We used to have a "lights out" night once a week where we turned off the TV/computers, cooked and ate by candlelight only (and for the rest of the evening either talked in candlelight or did other things).  :)  Can't do that at my Mom's but looking forward to reimplimenting that.

    We talk...about everything.  H has absolutely NO filter, which can be good and bad, but we don't hold things in/back.

    We both try to express love in the manner the other party wants (and not in the maner that is the easiest for us to express as individuals).  H appreciates actions to demonstrate love (cooking, massages, keeping in shape, etc.) and I appreciate words of love.  He tries to accomodate me and I try to do the same for him...though we are still learning.

    Ollie08
  • SO and I do not live together so we trade off nights.

    We double date a lot and cook at home together. I feel blessed to love his family. We all hang out all the time and the same with mine.

    We also (separately) go to therapy to help deal with our past so it doesn't get brought into our future.. He has been married before and me....well, lets just say I've been racked over a few times and I have bad reactions to silly things.
    image
  • ShallowSeasShallowSeas Indianapolis, IN member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Pfffft, I forgot the sweetest one: FI emails me (i can't have my phone in the prison) every morning on his break to tell me good morning, wishes me a good day, and tells me he loves me. EVERY. MORNING. He started that before when we were just dating and has continued it.  I look forward to it every morning and I save most of them so that when I'm frustrated at work or having a bad day I can read through them.
    Anniversary
    image
     
    eilis1228[Deleted User]CLoGreenEyes
  • We have to kiss goodnight. If it's a half-hearted kiss, I make BF do it again. 

    We also grocery shop together, do most errands together, and eat dinner together.

    We are going though a rough patch right now so I am going to take in some suggestions and try to implement them to get things back to where they should be!
    friends tv show funy
  • edited July 2014
    H and I really enjoy to have a date night once a week. Dating to us even though we are married is very important, it gives us time to just focus on each other and talk about us. 

    We try to always look good for each other whether that means staying healthy or just doing my hair and make up in the morning even though we have lazy days where we both look like complete crap together.

    Words of affirmation is huge. Always making sure to compliment each other and building each other up is a big thing since H and I have insecurity issues about ourselves.

    And seks.
    joy14bw
  • GoldenPenguinGoldenPenguin Upstate NY mod
    Moderator Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its
    @Severmilli12 - we also fall asleep holding hands!! It totally started as a joke, because I told him otters hold hands when they sleep so they don't float away. That night, he grabbed my hand as we were going to sleep and said "I don't want you to float away." And we've done it almost every night since. 

    We hug/kiss as soon as the other one gets home. Like, we'll get off the couch and come over for a hug & kiss. And if the hug isn't up to par, I tell him "HUG ME, DAMMIT." 

    We also have "no-phone nights." We tend to both get distracted & end up on our phones a lot, so we have nights where we get home, put our phones down, and don't touch them. We're actually due for one of those. 



    *******************************************************************************************




    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    LizzyTish88
  • edited July 2014
    DH and I say I love you multiple times a day, at the end of every phone conversation, and before one of us leaves to go somewhere. 

    Whenever DH cooks dinner, does any household chore, or calls me to ask me if we need something from the store (translation:  does anything considerate or for the "team"), I ALWAYS thank him and let him know that I appreciate it.  Usually it's, "Thank you for the delicious meal."  He does the same.

    DH and I try to have a date night at least biweekly where we dress up, go to a sit down restaurant, and connect.

    DH and I do most things together, so whenever one of us has plans on our own, we're both really encouraging and accommodating of the other person.  When @audrewuh was in Chicago, I was definitely stayed out with her ALL night and came home around 7am.  DH never said a word.  And vice versa.

    Every night when we're in bed, about to go to sleep, we snuggle up, and I fall asleep in the crook of his arm.  Before we fall asleep, I always tell him how much I love him, that he is special, kind, sweet, and has made my life so happy.  And I tell him that he's a wonderful husband and that I appreciates everything he does for our family every day.

    In summary, Shoes the Scary has a weakness:  Mr. Shoes.

    ETA:  We also talk.  About EVERYTHING.  We have no filter with each other.  And it's amazing.


    cu97tigerminskat30
  • My H is all about doing everything together. I've found that I am sorta bipolar about it. I tend to get annoyed with grocery shopping together, for example, but sometimes I like that we go together. Even if I do absolutely nothing important for that errand. He plans the meals, writes the grocery list, navigates the store like a pro, and puts the items on the belt and pays. I'm responsible for the shopping cart. I push it.
    Hey, at least he writes a shopping list. I hope he sticks to it, too. My BF will write a shopping list, sometimes, but then just throw whatever he fancies in the cart. We switch off who buys groceries every time, so when it's his turn to buy I get a big old bag of Juicy Pear Jelly Bellies from the bulk section and feel better about the whole thing, haha.
  • ShallowSeasShallowSeas Indianapolis, IN member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    @goldenpenguin the otter thing is so cute! I have no idea why we started it; just something that happened and never stopped.
    Anniversary
    image
     
  • ShallowSeasShallowSeas Indianapolis, IN member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    @southernpeach89 I agree that dating is so, so important. FI and I refuse to ever stop dating. Date nights are extremely important to us, even if its just renting a movie and ordering take out. We never miss it.
    Anniversary
    image
     
  • eilis1228eilis1228 Southwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    DH and I say I love you multiple times a day, at the end of every phone conversation, and before one of us leaves to go somewhere. 

    Whenever DH cooks dinner, does any household chore, or calls me to ask me if we need something from the store (translation:  does anything considerate or for the "team"), I ALWAYS thank him and let him know that I appreciate it.  Usually it's, "Thank you for the delicious meal."  He does the same.

    DH and I try to have a date night at least biweekly where we dress up, go to a sit down restaurant, and connect.

    DH and I do most things together, so whenever one of us has plans on our own, we're both really encouraging and accommodating of the other person.  When @audrewuh was in Chicago, I was definitely stayed out with her ALL night and came home around 7am.  DH never said a word.  And vice versa.

    Every night when we're in bed, about to go to sleep, we snuggle up, and I fall asleep in the crook of his arm.  Before we fall asleep, I always tell him how much I love him, that he is special, kind, sweet, and has made my life so happy.  And I tell him that he's a wonderful husband and that I appreciates everything he does for our family every day.

    In summary, Shoes the Scary has a weakness:  Mr. Shoes.


    YES! I always thank FI when he does anything around the house and when he pays for things. I always want him to know that I appreciate every little thing he does for me, and he does the same for me. We actually had a married couple over one night last year, and FI bought everyone dinner. I thanked him for dinner, and the wife turned to me and was like, "Why do you still thank him? OMG!" In my head I was like, "Oh, I can see why your husband cheated on you, you entitled bitch." :-\


    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    GoldenPenguin[Deleted User]
  • H and I really enjoy to have a date night once a week. Dating to us even though we are married is very important, it gives us time to just focus on each other and talk about us. 

    We try to always look good for each other whether that means staying healthy or just doing my hair and make up in the morning even though we have lazy days where we both look like complete crap together.

    Words of affirmation is huge. Always making sure to compliment each other and building each other up is a big thing since H and I have insecurity issues about ourselves.

    And seks.
    THIS!!! Even if I'm not in the mood, I try to get myself in the mood (by thinking about it). And I make sure he doesn't always instigate it.


    image
    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • eilis1228 said:


    YES! I always thank FI when he does anything around the house and when he pays for things. I always want him to know that I appreciate every little thing he does for me, and he does the same for me. We actually had a married couple over one night last year, and FI bought everyone dinner. I thanked him for dinner, and the wife turned to me and was like, "Why do you still thank him? OMG!" In my head I was like, "Oh, I can see why your husband cheated on you, you entitled bitch." :-\
    Yeah.  I personally think that not being acknowledged/appreciated can lead to BIG problems, and I AM grateful for how much he does around the house/for me.  So I give credit where credit is due.
    GoldenPenguineilis1228
  • SwazzleSwazzle New Jersey member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    H and I talk frequently throughout the day. 

    We always say I love you when leaving or hanging up the phone. 

    We always kiss goodnight, even if we're not happy with the other. 

    H kisses me before he leaves for work every single morning. 

    We tend to do most things together, same as @severmilli12

    We kind of have our own language most of it stems from things we say to the kids. 



  • My H is all about doing everything together. I've found that I am sorta bipolar about it. I tend to get annoyed with grocery shopping together, for example, but sometimes I like that we go together. Even if I do absolutely nothing important for that errand. He plans the meals, writes the grocery list, navigates the store like a pro, and puts the items on the belt and pays. I'm responsible for the shopping cart. I push it.
    Hey, at least he writes a shopping list. I hope he sticks to it, too. My BF will write a shopping list, sometimes, but then just throw whatever he fancies in the cart. We switch off who buys groceries every time, so when it's his turn to buy I get a big old bag of Juicy Pear Jelly Bellies from the bulk section and feel better about the whole thing, haha.
    haha H is on a budget. He mentally calculates what he expects the grocery bill to be, and points out how much we did or didn't meet that amount nearly every time we leave the store. "We were only $10 over because you got that shampoo and we had to restock aluminum foil. And that beer. Otherwise we only spent X."
  • FI and I run a lot of errands together.

    We always check in when we get to work and leave work. Mostly because FI has a longer commute than I and I tend to get worried.

    We LOVE each other's friends. I like all of his friend and he likes all of mine (except for one friend's H and we just avoid him) which is really important to us.

    We kiss before I leave for work and before bed.

    We talk about everything.

    I tell him thank you all the time too, because I'm so appreciative.

     

     Wedding Countdown Ticker




    image 59 Invited
    image 36 Yes
    image 2 No
    image 21 Unknown
  • We always kiss goodnight, unless I'm sick.  Note: I've been sick a LOT since we've been engaged, obvies.  But H knows I refuse to give him my germs, lol - we are special.

    I text H from my breaks at work, and he usually texts me at his lunch break depending on whether I'm at work etc.

    He's also AMAZING at dealing with my anxiety, so he is my #1 advocate when I'm going to a doctor if I am ya know, indisposed.  He comes with me to all my doctor appointments that have a possibility of needles.  Because this sounds psychotic, it should be noted that I deliberately schedule blood work, vaccinations, etc. on his off Fridays (he has every other Friday off) so that he doesn't miss a ton of work.

    And opposite of most of you guys, I do the grocery shopping when he's at work usually so that we don't have extra chores in the hours that we're actually both off of work.  We pretty much always go to Home Depot together though, because going to Home Depot is basically like going on a fancy date for us lol - we are addicts :)
    I guess, to tell you the truth, I've never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I've managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. - Peyton
  • Hummingbird125Hummingbird125 New York member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    I love this thread!

    FI and I have dinner together almost every night. For a while we did "weekday date night" once a week, but we only go once every few weeks now that we're saving for the wedding. Lately we've been hiking together every weekend which we love.

    We're pretty competitive, and have gotten into tennis and ping-pong (we go to a ping pong bar in the city!). We also play board games and scrabble pretty regularly.

    Since I started this new job, we usually check in with eachother with a phone call once or twice during the day. It seems silly, but even if it's just for two minutes I like hearing how his day is going and deciding what we're going to do that evening.

    And my favorite - we sleep naked. It started almost 3 years ago when, on a whim, I said "Hey, we should sleep naked!" and we did and have been doing so ever since!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • GoldenPenguinGoldenPenguin Upstate NY mod
    Moderator Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its
    ooohh! @hummingbird125 - we also play board games & Scrabble!! I love it. :)



    *******************************************************************************************




    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

  • @TwoDimes H isn't the best speller in the world and HATES Scrabble. He loves Sorry though because he always wins (he apparently has mad board game luck). Sequence is probably our favorite - it's like tic tac toe basically, lol
    I guess, to tell you the truth, I've never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I've managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. - Peyton
  • Hummingbird125Hummingbird125 New York member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    @TwoDimes - I have to admit I regularly give up because FI ALWAYS beats me. He's really good with word games. I've beat him maybe 2% of the time, and I like to think I'm pretty smart.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • H & I will email each other during the day at work.  We always end phone calls or text message exchanges with I love you.

    We always thank each other for everything I cooked dinner he thanked me, he washed the dishes I thanked him.

    When we run errands on the weekend we run them together. We always kiss good night as long as he isn't playing hockey when I go to bed. 

    We like to play board games with each other, although he always wins at scrabble.

    Anniversary

  • ShallowSeasShallowSeas Indianapolis, IN member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited July 2014
    I love this thread!

    FI and I have dinner together almost every night. For a while we did "weekday date night" once a week, but we only go once every few weeks now that we're saving for the wedding. Lately we've been hiking together every weekend which we love.

    We're pretty competitive, and have gotten into tennis and ping-pong (we go to a ping pong bar in the city!). We also play board games and scrabble pretty regularly.

    Since I started this new job, we usually check in with eachother with a phone call once or twice during the day. It seems silly, but even if it's just for two minutes I like hearing how his day is going and deciding what we're going to do that evening.

    And my favorite - we sleep naked. It started almost 3 years ago when, on a whim, I said "Hey, we should sleep naked!" and we did and have been doing so ever since!
    FI and have tried this a couple times...we got NO sleep ;)  So we don't do it very often unless we have nothing planned the next day and are okay with sleeping the next day away :)
    Anniversary
    image
     
    tuarceatha
  • eilis1228eilis1228 Southwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Well now all I want to do is go home and cuddle and sex up FI.


    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • ShallowSeasShallowSeas Indianapolis, IN member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer

    eilis1228 said:
    Well now all I want to do is go home and cuddle and sex up FI.
    I FEEL YA. My thread just made me miss FI lol.
    Anniversary
    image
     
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards