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ok, I need your help

soontobemrshamiltonsoontobemrshamilton member
100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
and please don't bash me, I'm honestly not sure what's appropriate. We are having a small wedding, 46 guests. Do I need to add a plus one for my family guests that I know will not be bringing any one? Should I put one just in case? For example: I'm 110% sure my Grandma will not be bringing any one, but my Aunt for example, I'm pretty sure wouldn't. She is not seeing any one. Is she "allowed" to bring a friend?

Help pleeeeeese!
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Re: ok, I need your help

  • gothic_fairy60gothic_fairy60 member
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    You have to invite the SO of anyone invited. If aunt is unmarried but dating someone, it still counts. You do not have to include plus ones for truly single guests, although it is nice to do so if you have the room or budget. This is especially true if your guest will not know many other people at your wedding.

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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    If these people are truly single (not dating, engaged, married, etc.), no, you don't have to extend a plus one. 

    I'm of the opinion that you should try to extend a plus one to everyone, but it's not required. That said, I wouldn't arbitrarily give plus ones to some people and not others. 
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  • soontobemrshamiltonsoontobemrshamilton member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    yes, they are truly single!
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  • soontobemrshamiltonsoontobemrshamilton member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    they will know at least half of the people there...family
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  • sarawifenowsarawifenow member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Since they are truly single, I think you are fine to not extend a plus one. I would keep it consistent, though. Do not give plus ones to some and not all since you are having a small wedding. It is more likely to be noticed.
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Yes, if they're truly single, no need for a plus one.  It's nice but not required.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Even if they'll know all the family, if they have to travel from somewhere fairly far, it might be nice to have a travel companion.  So, if you're marrying in Chicago, most of his family is coming in from New York, your family is in Chicago with you, but you have one single Aunt who lives in Texas, let Aunt bring a friend.  Single grampa in Chicago doesn't need to bring a friend, so travel might be a good "circle" for determining who brings a guest.
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  • soontobemrshamiltonsoontobemrshamilton member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Ok, so what about our friends or family members with SO's? Don't extend a plus one for them? Or do you mean don't extend a plus one for another single person?
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  • soontobemrshamiltonsoontobemrshamilton member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    only 2 people traveling far and they will have a plus one for their SO
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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    soontobemrshamilton said:
    Ok, so what about our friends or family members with SO's? Don't extend a plus one for them? Or do you mean don't extend a plus one for another single person?
    Huh? If someone has an SO, invite the SO by name. Period.

    She's saying if someone is truly single, but is traveling for the wedding, you might considering extending the option of a plus one to that person as a courtesy so they don't have to travel alone. 
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    If someone is in a relationship, they don't get a plus one. They get their significant other's name on their invitation. Huge difference.
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  • soontobemrshamiltonsoontobemrshamilton member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    oh ok, see I have no idea, that's why I am asking. The single people will not be traveling far, they are local.

    When I say a plus one, I meant their SO, and I will be writing their name.

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  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    soontobemrshamilton said:
    Ok, so what about our friends or family members with SO's? Don't extend a plus one for them? Or do you mean don't extend a plus one for another single person?


    SIB


    You're getting SO's and "plus ones" confused. If they have an SO, SO is invited by name. A "plus one" is a guest of your invitee. You may not know the plus one, but you're giving your guest the option of bringing a friend/date/trained monkey (jk on the monkey). Only truly single people get plus ones, and only at your discretion.
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    This baby knows exactly how I feel
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    A Significant Other is NOT a Plus One.  Totally different things.  If you're inviting someone in a relationship with someone significant, they must be invited.  Plus Ones for truly single guests might be nice if they're traveling, but they're not required.
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  • soontobemrshamiltonsoontobemrshamilton member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    yes, I understand, if someone is in a relationship, they need to be invited, and will be.I guess I choose the wrong word!

    So what I'm taking from all this is, yes it would be ok not to add a plus one for a single person. If we had the extra money or space (we can only have 46 people) I would have the plus one, but I wanted to make sure, etiquette wise, it was ok.
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  • Simky906Simky906 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Yep, you're good to go with that. If you can, I would leave a little wiggle room in case someone starts a relationship between now and when your invitations go out (which should be about 6-8 weeks before your wedding). That way you know you're covered no matter what.
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    soontobemrshamilton said:
    Ok, so what about our friends or family members with SO's? Don't extend a plus one for them? Or do you mean don't extend a plus one for another single person?
    I think you're getting confused by terminology.  Plus One refers to an unnamed guest that you give a single (not seeing anyone) guest as an option to bring to your wedding.  Plus One does not include Significant Others.  Plus Ones - unnamed guests for truly single people - are never required by etiquette.  In contrast, Significant Others (defined as the partner of anyone on your guest list who considers him- or herself to be in a relationship, regardless of length) always have to be invited, by name.



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