Wedding Etiquette Forum

ok, I need your help

and please don't bash me, I'm honestly not sure what's appropriate. We are having a small wedding, 46 guests. Do I need to add a plus one for my family guests that I know will not be bringing any one? Should I put one just in case? For example: I'm 110% sure my Grandma will not be bringing any one, but my Aunt for example, I'm pretty sure wouldn't. She is not seeing any one. Is she "allowed" to bring a friend?

Help pleeeeeese!

Re: ok, I need your help

  • You have to invite the SO of anyone invited. If aunt is unmarried but dating someone, it still counts. You do not have to include plus ones for truly single guests, although it is nice to do so if you have the room or budget. This is especially true if your guest will not know many other people at your wedding.

  • If these people are truly single (not dating, engaged, married, etc.), no, you don't have to extend a plus one. 

    I'm of the opinion that you should try to extend a plus one to everyone, but it's not required. That said, I wouldn't arbitrarily give plus ones to some people and not others. 
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  • yes, they are truly single!
  • they will know at least half of the people there...family
  • Since they are truly single, I think you are fine to not extend a plus one. I would keep it consistent, though. Do not give plus ones to some and not all since you are having a small wedding. It is more likely to be noticed.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Yes, if they're truly single, no need for a plus one.  It's nice but not required.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • Even if they'll know all the family, if they have to travel from somewhere fairly far, it might be nice to have a travel companion.  So, if you're marrying in Chicago, most of his family is coming in from New York, your family is in Chicago with you, but you have one single Aunt who lives in Texas, let Aunt bring a friend.  Single grampa in Chicago doesn't need to bring a friend, so travel might be a good "circle" for determining who brings a guest.
  • Ok, so what about our friends or family members with SO's? Don't extend a plus one for them? Or do you mean don't extend a plus one for another single person?
  • only 2 people traveling far and they will have a plus one for their SO
  • Ok, so what about our friends or family members with SO's? Don't extend a plus one for them? Or do you mean don't extend a plus one for another single person?
    Huh? If someone has an SO, invite the SO by name. Period.

    She's saying if someone is truly single, but is traveling for the wedding, you might considering extending the option of a plus one to that person as a courtesy so they don't have to travel alone. 
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    debbeau
  • If someone is in a relationship, they don't get a plus one. They get their significant other's name on their invitation. Huge difference.
  • oh ok, see I have no idea, that's why I am asking. The single people will not be traveling far, they are local.

    When I say a plus one, I meant their SO, and I will be writing their name.

  • Ok, so what about our friends or family members with SO's? Don't extend a plus one for them? Or do you mean don't extend a plus one for another single person?


    SIB


    You're getting SO's and "plus ones" confused. If they have an SO, SO is invited by name. A "plus one" is a guest of your invitee. You may not know the plus one, but you're giving your guest the option of bringing a friend/date/trained monkey (jk on the monkey). Only truly single people get plus ones, and only at your discretion.
    image
    This baby knows exactly how I feel
  • A Significant Other is NOT a Plus One.  Totally different things.  If you're inviting someone in a relationship with someone significant, they must be invited.  Plus Ones for truly single guests might be nice if they're traveling, but they're not required.
  • yes, I understand, if someone is in a relationship, they need to be invited, and will be.I guess I choose the wrong word!

    So what I'm taking from all this is, yes it would be ok not to add a plus one for a single person. If we had the extra money or space (we can only have 46 people) I would have the plus one, but I wanted to make sure, etiquette wise, it was ok.
    KatieinBklnohannabelle
  • Yep, you're good to go with that. If you can, I would leave a little wiggle room in case someone starts a relationship between now and when your invitations go out (which should be about 6-8 weeks before your wedding). That way you know you're covered no matter what.
  • Ok, so what about our friends or family members with SO's? Don't extend a plus one for them? Or do you mean don't extend a plus one for another single person?
    I think you're getting confused by terminology.  Plus One refers to an unnamed guest that you give a single (not seeing anyone) guest as an option to bring to your wedding.  Plus One does not include Significant Others.  Plus Ones - unnamed guests for truly single people - are never required by etiquette.  In contrast, Significant Others (defined as the partner of anyone on your guest list who considers him- or herself to be in a relationship, regardless of length) always have to be invited, by name.



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