Am I wasting my time?

coultercapelli · July 2014

Do people actually use wedding registries anymore? I've never been to a wedding, and my family isn't very helpful so I was wondering if people actually purchase gifts from a registry. Also is it true that I should register for twice as many gifts as guests? So for my 135 guests, I'd register for about 270 items? (That seems a little much). I'm getting so many mixed answers.

wandajune6 · July 2014

In my circle, it's all gifts, no money. If there is no registry you will either get gifts chosen for you. We don't do money.

I think the key is to have a comfortable range of options across multiple price points. Also, keep in mind that towels are individual items, not sets- you could register for 8 and they're bought in varying increments.

coultercapelli · July 2014

Ah! There's just so much variation. I hate registering for gifts because I feel like I'm asking for nice things, but everyone says they're going to want to see what I want. This wedding stuff is just too much!

misshart00 · July 2014

You don't have to register. Like PP said, it depends on your circle. My circle is gift giving. We got very little cash, for both shower and wedding. I would suggest at least a small registry, so people who want to get you a gift have an idea what to get you. I don't think there's a number of gifts to shoot for, but varying price ranges instead.

mysticl · July 2014

If there is a registry I will purchase a gift from it. I really enjoy buying and wrapping gifts so I prefer it over giving cash.

Simky906 · July 2014

OP, can I ask what area of the country you're in? (Assuming you're in the US here.) In my experience, people from the northeast tend to give gifts for the shower and cash for the wedding whereas people from the south tend to give physical gifts for both. So that may impact how much you want to register for.

However, if there are things that you need/want for your home then go register for them. Though you really don't have to register for twice as many gifts as guests if you don't need/want that much stuff.

The rule of thumb I heard was to register for at least as many gifts as wedding invitations; more if you're having a shower or have lots of smaller items (like little kitchen accessories) on your list. But again, don't register for suff just for the sake of registering.

theartistformerlyknownas · July 2014

If you're having a shower, you should register. If not, you don't need to. If you do, you'll want about twice as many gift as individuals invited to the shower, NOT to the wedding. You may only have 20-30 people invited to the shower out of 135 invited to the wedding, so then about 50 gifts worth is fine (knowing several small items may be combined into one gift, or several people may chip in on a large item).

For my shower yesterday though, everyone but 2 people bought from the registry. There are quite a few more things purchased from it, with one shower left on Saturday.

coultercapelli · July 2014

lolo883 said:

If you're having a shower, you should register. If not, you don't need to. If you do, you'll want about twice as many gift as individuals invited to the shower, NOT to the wedding. You may only have 20-30 people invited to the shower out of 135 invited to the wedding, so then about 50 gifts worth is fine (knowing several small items may be combined into one gift, or several people may chip in on a large item). For my shower yesterday though, everyone but 2 people bought from the registry. There are quite a few more things purchased from it, with one shower left on Saturday.

Oh, that makes total sense. Maybe that's what I was reading and just misinterpreted. Thank you.

coultercapelli · July 2014

Simky906 said:

OP, can I ask what area of the country you're in? (Assuming you're in the US here.) In my experience, people from the northeast tend to give gifts for the shower and cash for the wedding whereas people from the south tend to give physical gifts for both. So that may impact how much you want to register for.

However, if there are things that you need/want for your home then go register for them. Though you really don't have to register for twice as many gifts as guests if you don't need/want that much stuff.
The rule of thumb I heard was to register for at least as many gifts as wedding invitations; more if you're having a shower or have lots of smaller items (like little kitchen accessories) on your list. But again, don't register for stuff just for the sake of registering.

I'm from New Jersey which would make sense because I keep getting mixed responses from my family. Some safe gifts, some say cash. And I totally agree with just registering for things I need/really want rather than just filling a meaningless registry.

gothic_fairy60 · July 2014

My shower was this weekend and I registered. It seems that people took the registry and went to other stores. As a result, I got similar items as the ones on my registry. Since I am not as concerned about the brands of most items, this worked just fine. The only down side is that it can't be marked off so others know. I also got some wonderful non-registry items that were extremely thoughtful.

If your going to have a shower it is helpful for guests to know if you want/need anything specific, since showers are for physical gifts. We made ours large with the intent of purchasing more items after the wedding.

theartistformerlyknownas · July 2014

coultercapelli said:

lolo883 said:

If you're having a shower, you should register. If not, you don't need to. If you do, you'll want about twice as many gift as individuals invited to the shower, NOT to the wedding. You may only have 20-30 people invited to the shower out of 135 invited to the wedding, so then about 50 gifts worth is fine (knowing several small items may be combined into one gift, or several people may chip in on a large item).

For my shower yesterday though, everyone but 2 people bought from the registry. There are quite a few more things purchased from it, with one shower left on Saturday.

Oh, that makes total sense. Maybe that's what I was reading and just misinterpreted. Thank you.

The stores will tell you anything, because they just want you to add more stuff! There's not much harm in having more, as long as it's things you actually need. You'll get a discount off everything left on your registry after the wedding, so sometimes people add a bunch at the last minute.

MobKaz · July 2014

gothic_fairy60 said:

My shower was this weekend and I registered. It seems that people took the registry and went to other stores. As a result, I got similar items as the ones on my registry. Since I am not as concerned about the brands of most items, this worked just fine. The only down side is that it can't be marked off so others know. I also got some wonderful non-registry items that were extremely thoughtful.

If your going to have a shower it is helpful for guests to know if you want/need anything specific, since showers are for physical gifts. We made ours large with the intent of purchasing more items after the wedding.

If you plan on keeping the non-registry items, can you go into your registry on-line and simply delete those items? I know that my daughter was able to manage her registry on-line, but perhaps that ability varies from store to store.

tammym1001 · July 2014

People shopped off of our registry for the shower, but not the wedding. We still got about 50/50 cash and gifts for the wedding, but the physical gifts didn't come from the registry for the wedding.

gothic_fairy60 · July 2014

MobKaz said:

gothic_fairy60 said:

My shower was this weekend and I registered. It seems that people took the registry and went to other stores. As a result, I got similar items as the ones on my registry. Since I am not as concerned about the brands of most items, this worked just fine. The only down side is that it can't be marked off so others know. I also got some wonderful non-registry items that were extremely thoughtful.

If your going to have a shower it is helpful for guests to know if you want/need anything specific, since showers are for physical gifts. We made ours large with the intent of purchasing more items after the wedding.

If you plan on keeping the non-registry items, can you go into your registry on-line and simply delete those items? I know that my daughter was able to manage her registry on-line, but perhaps that ability varies from store to store.

@MobKaz: I can, but only after I receive them. Luckily I didn't get duplicates but it could have been possible. That was what I meant. And I plan on keeping the off registry items. They were either a different brand of what I wanted or a really sweet non-registry item.

Edited: Because words suck

duhitsd · July 2014

Personally I buy off the registry if I am going to the shower and I bring a card with cash in it to the wedding.

[Deleted User] · July 2014

Regarding the amount of things on a registry, I don't have an issue with a couple putting too much on it. I like having options. With you having 135 people, 270 registered items works.

How many stores have you registered with?

coultercapelli · July 2014

Brad54 said:

Regarding the amount of things on a registry, I don't have an issue with a couple putting too much on it. I like having options. With you having 135 people, 270 registered items works.
How many stores have you registered with?

I like options too! I've only registered with 1 store and I'm not sure I'm going to do another. I'm registered at Bed Bath & Beyond and I have everything from 5$ to 400$.

theartistformerlyknownas · July 2014

My second and final shower was yesterday, so now I can officially say out of about 60 total guests, we only got 3 non-registry gifts and only 1 duplicate (which was cloth napkins, so we may just keep the extras). People shopped from all three registries, but Macy's was the most utilized (so far 75 of 91 items purchased; some were already sent as early wedding gifts too).

coultercapelli · July 2014

lolo883 said:

My second and final shower was yesterday, so now I can officially say out of about 60 total guests, we only got 3 non-registry gifts and only 1 duplicate (which was cloth napkins, so we may just keep the extras). People shopped from all three registries, but Macy's was the most utilized (so far 75 of 91 items purchased; some were already sent as early wedding gifts too).

Where were your other two registries? I'm curious as to which stores they picked over to go to Macy's instead.

Am I wasting my time?

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