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a cousin is getting married same time I am

One of my cousins is getting married and is going through the wedding preparation process at the same time I am.  My mother has to hear about all of this on Facebook & from her brother (my cousin's stepfather).  So now my mother is getting pushy with me to "outdo" my cousin.  Honestly?  My cousin (who is generally pretty spoiled) probably has a bigger budget than what I have, but I don't care. It's her wedding, not mine, and I'm trying not to let it affect my planning.  But my mom's turning into a royal nag about it.  How do I deal with this?

Re: a cousin is getting married same time I am

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Tell your mother, "Mom, I know you want me to have a nice wedding, but I'm not in a competition with Cousin for the 'best' wedding.  Her wedding is about what works for her and her FI; mine is about what works for me and my FI.  I'd really appreciate it if you'd relax and not worry about whether or not my wedding 'matches up' with hers."
    lc07
  • I would NOT get into wedding competition with anyone for any reason. It completely distracts from everything that matters. 

    If your mom is saying stuff like this, I would decline any and all offers she makes to fund it because it won't be about your wedding, it'll be about outdoing your cousin. 

    And further, I would stop talking wedding with her all together. Be vague and change the subject when she brings it up. Again, it won't be about you - it'll be about her finding out what you're doing and comparing it to your cousin. *eyeroll*
    *********************************************************************************

    image
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    One of my cousins is getting married and is going through the wedding preparation process at the same time I am.  My mother has to hear about all of this on Facebook & from her brother (my cousin's stepfather).  So now my mother is getting pushy with me to "outdo" my cousin.  Honestly?  My cousin (who is generally pretty spoiled) probably has a bigger budget than what I have, but I don't care. It's her wedding, not mine, and I'm trying not to let it affect my planning.  But my mom's turning into a royal nag about it.  How do I deal with this?
    Stop talking to your mom about the wedding.  If she is not paying for any of it, this will be very easy to do.  "Mom, I love you, but I'm not in a competition with cousin on who will be having a better wedding.  I will be hosting my guests properly (I hope you are!) and will be having the wedding that FI and I want to have.  Since all you can think about is competing with cousin, I'm not going to be talking to you about the wedding anymore.  I wish you could just be happy for FI and I instead of trying to compete with cousin over who is having a better party."
    southernbelle0915
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