Chit Chat

Oh my god. The questions.

Our invites just went out last week. In my opinion, there's a lot of detailed info on them. Our ceremony and reception are in the same place. The invitation says what time the ceremony starts, and then says that the reception follows. 
The RSVP card asks you to initial your entree (Filet Mignon, Grilled Lemon & Sage Chicken, Seared Salmon)
The accommodations info card says to ask for the wedding department and mention the XXX-XXX wedding. 

The first phone call I get is asking me if it's a lunch reception or dinner reception. It's during the day, so it's a lunch reception. The start time is on the invite! Then she says, "Oh, I just wanted to make sure that there's going to be enough food." Buh? 

Next I get a text. "What time does the reception start? I'm trying to figure out what to do with the kids." The invite says that the reception starts right after the ceremony. Again, they are BOTH in the same place. So I tell my friend that the cocktail hour starts right after the ceremony, so I'm figuring around 12:30pm. She texts me back, "Oh, OK. I just wanted to make sure the reception didn't start at like 6pm."

After that, I get a frantic call from FI. He's saying that our officiant (who is also one of FI's close friends) called the venue and was told there is no block of rooms. I know for a fact there are rooms blocked out. All of our family members reserved rooms and there are still 10 rooms left. Like I noted on the accommodations card, you have to ask for the wedding department FIRST. They handle all the booking of the rooms for the wedding. Apparently the officiant was just calling the front desk. 

Do I really have two more months of this? 

Also, the venue is requiring me to give them a list of guests and what their entree choice is. That's why I asked everyone to initial their choice on the RSVP card. 50% of the responses so far just have check marks, not initials. I have a lot of phone calls to make already. 
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Re: Oh my god. The questions.

  • MamaAlly89MamaAlly89 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited July 2014
    Yes, the questions never stop! And while it was exciting to get RSVP cards back, it was also the most frustrating thing I've had to deal with up until this point. We are having a buffet so the guests didn't even have to make a meal choice, but for some reason they are so complicated to people. I got one back where the lady wrote her name on it but didn't check yes or no as to if she was coming or not...*facepalm*

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    Wedding Countdown Ticker

  • Yes, the questions never stop! And while it was exciting to get RSVP cards back, it was also the most frustrating thing I've had to deal with up until this point. We are having a buffet so the guests didn't even have to make a meal choice, but for some reason they are so complicated to people. I got one back where the lady wrote her name on it but didn't check yes or no as to if she was coming or not...*facepalm*
    I can see that! I honestly have not really been stressed about anything. Everything so far has been so easy. But these questions are going to drive me insane. 
  • So frustrating! Though, I would rather people ask questions. Everyone is just assuming with mine. And adding guests. Why would you just add a person. I'm having a very hard time with this because I don't like difficult conversations. Who does that? I have less than a week till my deadline and have only received 1/3 of my rsvps. Many calls in my near future as well.
  • Seeing your remark about people not initialing makes me feel a little better. It completely slipped my mind to change the wording on my RSVP cards to "please initial" instead of "please indicate" but sounds like it wouldn't have made a difference anyway! I've only gotten 3 RSVPs back and so far everyone wants the same food. Phew. I also anticipate lots of phone calls though to verify what people want to eat.

    As far as the other questions you've gotten - seriously? You'd think your invites were written in code with what you've been asked! Hopefully the questions die down soon!

  • MobKazMobKaz member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Our invites just went out last week. In my opinion, there's a lot of detailed info on them. Our ceremony and reception are in the same place. The invitation says what time the ceremony starts, and then says that the reception follows. 
    The RSVP card asks you to initial your entree (Filet Mignon, Grilled Lemon & Sage Chicken, Seared Salmon)
    The accommodations info card says to ask for the wedding department and mention the XXX-XXX wedding. 

    The first phone call I get is asking me if it's a lunch reception or dinner reception. It's during the day, so it's a lunch reception. The start time is on the invite! Then she says, "Oh, I just wanted to make sure that there's going to be enough food." Buh? 

    Next I get a text. "What time does the reception start? I'm trying to figure out what to do with the kids." The invite says that the reception starts right after the ceremony. Again, they are BOTH in the same place. So I tell my friend that the cocktail hour starts right after the ceremony, so I'm figuring around 12:30pm. She texts me back, "Oh, OK. I just wanted to make sure the reception didn't start at like 6pm."

    After that, I get a frantic call from FI. He's saying that our officiant (who is also one of FI's close friends) called the venue and was told there is no block of rooms. I know for a fact there are rooms blocked out. All of our family members reserved rooms and there are still 10 rooms left. Like I noted on the accommodations card, you have to ask for the wedding department FIRST. They handle all the booking of the rooms for the wedding. Apparently the officiant was just calling the front desk. 

    Do I really have two more months of this? 

    Also, the venue is requiring me to give them a list of guests and what their entree choice is. That's why I asked everyone to initial their choice on the RSVP card. 50% of the responses so far just have check marks, not initials. I have a lot of phone calls to make already. 
    Personal opinion here.  Are you having table assignments or seat assignments?  Unless you are having seat assignments, entrees specific to each chair won't be necessary.  The venue will need to know how many of each entree go to each table.  The waitstaff will look at the escort card to further determine which entree goes to which guest.  Personally, between a couple, I don't think it is an issue if they need to quickly switch plates among themselves. 
  • Senecaf said:
    So frustrating! Though, I would rather people ask questions. Everyone is just assuming with mine. And adding guests. Why would you just add a person. I'm having a very hard time with this because I don't like difficult conversations. Who does that? I have less than a week till my deadline and have only received 1/3 of my rsvps. Many calls in my near future as well.
    I really don't understand the guests that add additional people. That seriously boggles my mind! 


    Seeing your remark about people not initialing makes me feel a little better. It completely slipped my mind to change the wording on my RSVP cards to "please initial" instead of "please indicate" but sounds like it wouldn't have made a difference anyway! I've only gotten 3 RSVPs back and so far everyone wants the same food. Phew. I also anticipate lots of phone calls though to verify what people want to eat.

    As far as the other questions you've gotten - seriously? You'd think your invites were written in code with what you've been asked! Hopefully the questions die down soon!

    Yeah, apparently the initial thing doesn't matter! Ha! Jokes on me :-P 
  • MobKaz said:
    Our invites just went out last week. In my opinion, there's a lot of detailed info on them. Our ceremony and reception are in the same place. The invitation says what time the ceremony starts, and then says that the reception follows. 
    The RSVP card asks you to initial your entree (Filet Mignon, Grilled Lemon & Sage Chicken, Seared Salmon)
    The accommodations info card says to ask for the wedding department and mention the XXX-XXX wedding. 

    The first phone call I get is asking me if it's a lunch reception or dinner reception. It's during the day, so it's a lunch reception. The start time is on the invite! Then she says, "Oh, I just wanted to make sure that there's going to be enough food." Buh? 

    Next I get a text. "What time does the reception start? I'm trying to figure out what to do with the kids." The invite says that the reception starts right after the ceremony. Again, they are BOTH in the same place. So I tell my friend that the cocktail hour starts right after the ceremony, so I'm figuring around 12:30pm. She texts me back, "Oh, OK. I just wanted to make sure the reception didn't start at like 6pm."

    After that, I get a frantic call from FI. He's saying that our officiant (who is also one of FI's close friends) called the venue and was told there is no block of rooms. I know for a fact there are rooms blocked out. All of our family members reserved rooms and there are still 10 rooms left. Like I noted on the accommodations card, you have to ask for the wedding department FIRST. They handle all the booking of the rooms for the wedding. Apparently the officiant was just calling the front desk. 

    Do I really have two more months of this? 

    Also, the venue is requiring me to give them a list of guests and what their entree choice is. That's why I asked everyone to initial their choice on the RSVP card. 50% of the responses so far just have check marks, not initials. I have a lot of phone calls to make already. 
    Personal opinion here.  Are you having table assignments or seat assignments?  Unless you are having seat assignments, entrees specific to each chair won't be necessary.  The venue will need to know how many of each entree go to each table.  The waitstaff will look at the escort card to further determine which entree goes to which guest.  Personally, between a couple, I don't think it is an issue if they need to quickly switch plates among themselves. 
    Table assignments. But this is the way the venue wants it done. I not only have to give them a seating diagram, I also have to give them a complete list with the guest name, their table and their entree selection. They don't want people to have to switch plates. They apparently address each guest by name and then confirm their entree selection with them. Honestly, this isn't a hill I'm going to die on with my venue. They're a very old, very established venue. This is the way they do it. I can deal. 
  • edited July 2014
    Poor hosts have ruined this for all of us. Nobody would need to ask if there was enough food or a gap if they haven't been to some shitty weddings.

    Mine have been relatively smooth so far, after the first one I got back with no name but "unable to attend" written in on the name line. My RSVP cards came as "indicate the number of each entree" which I left because I have a couple of bigger parties, and quite a few couples with matching initials. I've had a mix of check marks, numbers and initials come back. I have had 2 people add guests. Ugh. 

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  • I am in your exact same boat, OP. Right down to the "wait, when does the reception start?" and the initialing or checking of meal choices.

    Gah! 

    We're currently having an issue with not only our hotel, but others in the area selling out (for September) due to some massive conference we weren't aware of when we booked the venue over a year ago.  I sent STD's with our wedding website and hotel block information in January, and guess how many people are scrambling?  Procrastination..... 
    ________________________________


  • edited July 2014
    ugh I feel ya. My ceremony and reception was also in the same place and I had so many calls from family members about where the reception was going to be and what time.....Ummm same place....right after....They like just didn't get it. I had no idea that all in one weddings were so uncommon lol

    ETA:

    Oh and I just remembered. One of my aunts called me asking me if they would have red wine. ummm seriously???  hahahahah.
  • Aaaand this is what I have to look forward to. Time to day drink.
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  • edited July 2014
    I think you're getting a lot of questions because they JUST went out. I don't think you'll be dealing with a constant stream of questions from now until the wedding. Probably a few now and then a few from the last-minute folks who don't get it.

    It sounds like they were full of appropriate information content-wise. I agree with @lolo883 - bad hosting has ruined this for everyone. It's almost like people expected you to have a gap so they don't get it...
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  • I'm so glad you guys feel my pain too. And that I'm not alone in the silly questions. I was starting to wonder about my family and friends... The friend that asked about the gap had a big one if I remember correctly. And her reception was an HOUR drive from her church.
  • Your venue sounds just like mine, old and established and stuck in their ways! Mine wanted the same thing.... They wanted to know what each individual person was having then stickers on each place card to indicate which meal. I had already ordered my invitations so I had to fight tooth and nail with them. We finally compromised and I told them I would do place cards per couple and the stickers would be next to their names to indicate what they were eating.

    Any wedding I've ever been to I always just put a check mark on the RSVP card and the waitstaff ends to asking me anyway what I ordered.


    The other questions though... Ridiculous
  • Aaaand this is what I have to look forward to. Time to day drink.
    I might include a FAQ/Question-asking Waiver with every invite. Not having inane questions come in during that pre-wedding Crunch Time. 

    (I may only be partially kidding.)
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  • KaurisKauris member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    We are sending our this weekend and I am now dreading questions, especially since we are having a brunch wedding.
  • CMGragain said:
    Now you know what it feels like to be a teacher.  You hand out your carefully prepared quiz:

    "Do we have to write in complete sentences?"
    "Can we use pencil?"
    "Will this count on our grade?"
    "Does spelling count?"
    "Can I go to the bathroom?"
    Ha! If I were teaching, my answer would be "Now that you've asked, yes. You DO have to write in complete sentences, you have to use pen, spelling DOES count, you may NOT go to the bathroom. And all tests count toward grades."
    image
    This baby knows exactly how I feel
  • People can be so stupid.  We had an issue where DH has an uncle Bob.  Bob was married to Sue and had a daughter Jill.  Bob and Sue got divorced and Sue is now dating Frank.

    Jill RSVPs and indicates she will be joined by Sue AND Frank.

    Luckily FIL called Jill and said that Sue and Frank were not invited.
  • I am not bragging at all when I say that no one asked me any dumb, "hey you have the information right in front of you but your an idiot" questions.  I really think that since my wedding 3 years ago the world, as a whole, has gotten collectively dumber by at least 50%.
    I do not recall any dumb questions.  But I did get married a while ago.  Maybe I have selective memory?






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • People can be so stupid.  We had an issue where DH has an uncle Bob.  Bob was married to Sue and had a daughter Jill.  Bob and Sue got divorced and Sue is now dating Frank.

    Jill RSVPs and indicates she will be joined by Sue AND Frank.

    Luckily FIL called Jill and said that Sue and Frank were not invited.

    Wut. That is crazy!
  • I didn't get any dumb questions, either. I did get one person who asked if she could have a plus 2 instead of a plus 1, if that counts.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • ElcaBElcaB member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Eek. 

    I don't know since I haven't sent invites yet (soon!), but I would think after they all go out there will be a brief period of interrogation and then it will stop. 

    Right? (Someone please tell me I'm right, or I need to add "purchase ten bottles of wine" to my to-do list on the same day as "send invites.")
    image
  • ashleyepashleyep member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited July 2014
    MobKaz said:
    Our invites just went out last week. In my opinion, there's a lot of detailed info on them. Our ceremony and reception are in the same place. The invitation says what time the ceremony starts, and then says that the reception follows. 
    The RSVP card asks you to initial your entree (Filet Mignon, Grilled Lemon & Sage Chicken, Seared Salmon)
    The accommodations info card says to ask for the wedding department and mention the XXX-XXX wedding. 

    The first phone call I get is asking me if it's a lunch reception or dinner reception. It's during the day, so it's a lunch reception. The start time is on the invite! Then she says, "Oh, I just wanted to make sure that there's going to be enough food." Buh? 

    Next I get a text. "What time does the reception start? I'm trying to figure out what to do with the kids." The invite says that the reception starts right after the ceremony. Again, they are BOTH in the same place. So I tell my friend that the cocktail hour starts right after the ceremony, so I'm figuring around 12:30pm. She texts me back, "Oh, OK. I just wanted to make sure the reception didn't start at like 6pm."

    After that, I get a frantic call from FI. He's saying that our officiant (who is also one of FI's close friends) called the venue and was told there is no block of rooms. I know for a fact there are rooms blocked out. All of our family members reserved rooms and there are still 10 rooms left. Like I noted on the accommodations card, you have to ask for the wedding department FIRST. They handle all the booking of the rooms for the wedding. Apparently the officiant was just calling the front desk. 

    Do I really have two more months of this? 

    Also, the venue is requiring me to give them a list of guests and what their entree choice is. That's why I asked everyone to initial their choice on the RSVP card. 50% of the responses so far just have check marks, not initials. I have a lot of phone calls to make already. 
    Personal opinion here.  Are you having table assignments or seat assignments?  Unless you are having seat assignments, entrees specific to each chair won't be necessary.  The venue will need to know how many of each entree go to each table.  The waitstaff will look at the escort card to further determine which entree goes to which guest.  Personally, between a couple, I don't think it is an issue if they need to quickly switch plates among themselves. 
    Table assignments. But this is the way the venue wants it done. I not only have to give them a seating diagram, I also have to give them a complete list with the guest name, their table and their entree selection. They don't want people to have to switch plates. They apparently address each guest by name and then confirm their entree selection with them. Honestly, this isn't a hill I'm going to die on with my venue. They're a very old, very established venue. This is the way they do it. I can deal. 
    My venue wants this too - a spreadsheet with names at each table and each guest's meal selection. But I'm not distinguishing between a couple. If the couple requested one salmon and one chicken I'll randomly assign it to each half of the couple, but I'm not bothering to figure out who got what (even though my response card said please INITIAL each guest's selection). Screw the venue.

    I only followed up in the case of kids where I knew they would be at a different table.

    Also, my grandmother called me a few weeks ago and said her friend wanted to book a room on the block. The block had ended the week before and there were no more rooms at the hotel. Fortunately I had booked an extra room, just in case, and was able to add his name to the reservation and he could have it.

    I haven't gotten too many questions, thank God. Everything has been pretty straight forward as far as responses go.
    Anniversary
  • edited August 2014
    People. The questions have not stopped. Our venue is a resort. There is a block of rooms and a discounted rate. It's a little pricey, so I also included information on other local hotels and B&Bs. 

    FI's friend has been asking me questions about the accommodations non-stop. "Are most people staying at the venue? Are they staying Friday night too? Are they staying both nights? Did anyone book Xxxxx B&B?" 
    Dude, how am I supposed to know this? I'm not polling all of my guests to see what nights they're staying or which place they chose.

    And then there's my cousin. She keeps asking me if my brother is staying over Saturday night or driving back home. I have NO IDEA. Every time I tell her to call my brother and ask him. Why doesn't she just ask him??

    Then she asks me what the plan is for Friday night. Um? She's not in the wedding - we're only having a MOH and BM, and those are the only people attending the rehearsal, along with our officiant. 

    And then this is what really pissed me off. On Friday, FI and I are going rock climbing. It's just us, our climbing guide and our photographer. Since we didn't do an engagement session, he offered to photograph us climbing. Awesome! We also plan to read each other our personal vows while on top of the mountain. Just us. We didn't want to read our written vows in front of all of our guests at the ceremony the next day. So, this is what we decided. Only a few people knew about this. Well, my cousin found out and basically tried to invite herself along! What the fuck, dude? She said there were "rumors" that we were all getting together for this. UGH. 
  • People. The questions have not stopped. Our venue is a resort. There is a block of rooms and a discounted rate. It's a little pricey, so I also included information on other local hotels and B&Bs. 


    FI's friend has been asking me questions about the accommodations non-stop. "Are most people staying at the venue? Are they staying Friday night too? Are they staying both nights? Did anyone book Xxxxx B&B?" 
    Dude, how am I supposed to know this? I'm not polling all of my guests to see what nights they're staying or which place they chose.

    And then there's my cousin. She keeps asking me if my brother is staying over Saturday night or driving back home. I have NO IDEA. Every time I tell her to call my brother and ask him. Why doesn't she just ask him??

    Then she asks me what the plan is for Friday night. Um? She's not in the wedding - we're only having a MOH and BM, and those are the only people attending the rehearsal, along with our officiant. 

    And then this is what really pissed me off. On Friday, FI and I are going rock climbing. It's just us, our climbing guide and our photographer. Since we didn't do an engagement session, he offered to photograph us climbing. Awesome! We also plan to read each other our personal vows while on top of the mountain. Just us. We didn't want to read our written vows in front of all of our guests at the ceremony the next day. So, this is what we decided. Only a few people knew about this. Well, my cousin found out and basically tried to invite herself along! What the fuck, dude? She said there were "rumors" that we were all getting together for this. UGH. 
    OMG. I am SO glad I am done with all that bullshit! RSVPs were THE MOST stressful part of the wedding. Remember my crazy Aunt from the etiquette thread? Almost tore our family in two over here grandchildren not coming to the rehearsal dinner.

    Its super cute that you're reading your personal vows on the mountain. I'm assuming the standard traditional vows will be done at the ceremony?

    image   image   image

  • People. The questions have not stopped. Our venue is a resort. There is a block of rooms and a discounted rate. It's a little pricey, so I also included information on other local hotels and B&Bs. 

    FI's friend has been asking me questions about the accommodations non-stop. "Are most people staying at the venue? Are they staying Friday night too? Are they staying both nights? Did anyone book Xxxxx B&B?" 
    Dude, how am I supposed to know this? I'm not polling all of my guests to see what nights they're staying or which place they chose.

    And then there's my cousin. She keeps asking me if my brother is staying over Saturday night or driving back home. I have NO IDEA. Every time I tell her to call my brother and ask him. Why doesn't she just ask him??

    Then she asks me what the plan is for Friday night. Um? She's not in the wedding - we're only having a MOH and BM, and those are the only people attending the rehearsal, along with our officiant. 

    And then this is what really pissed me off. On Friday, FI and I are going rock climbing. It's just us, our climbing guide and our photographer. Since we didn't do an engagement session, he offered to photograph us climbing. Awesome! We also plan to read each other our personal vows while on top of the mountain. Just us. We didn't want to read our written vows in front of all of our guests at the ceremony the next day. So, this is what we decided. Only a few people knew about this. Well, my cousin found out and basically tried to invite herself along! What the fuck, dude? She said there were "rumors" that we were all getting together for this. UGH. 
    OMG. I am SO glad I am done with all that bullshit! RSVPs were THE MOST stressful part of the wedding. Remember my crazy Aunt from the etiquette thread? Almost tore our family in two over here grandchildren not coming to the rehearsal dinner. Its super cute that you're reading your personal vows on the mountain. I'm assuming the standard traditional vows will be done at the ceremony?
    That's crazy!  Seriously, our rehearsal dinner is like 6 people. FI's mom and my parents MIGHT come. Why does she want to come to this? It's so bizarre. She didn't have a rehearsal or a rehearsal dinner for her wedding. Why is she expecting me to host her???

    Yup, we're doing the standard traditional vows at the ceremony the next day. 

    When FMIL found out that we're reading our personal vows on the mountain and not in front of everyone, she asked if she could read them. 


  • People. The questions have not stopped. Our venue is a resort. There is a block of rooms and a discounted rate. It's a little pricey, so I also included information on other local hotels and B&Bs. 

    FI's friend has been asking me questions about the accommodations non-stop. "Are most people staying at the venue? Are they staying Friday night too? Are they staying both nights? Did anyone book Xxxxx B&B?" 
    Dude, how am I supposed to know this? I'm not polling all of my guests to see what nights they're staying or which place they chose.

    And then there's my cousin. She keeps asking me if my brother is staying over Saturday night or driving back home. I have NO IDEA. Every time I tell her to call my brother and ask him. Why doesn't she just ask him??

    Then she asks me what the plan is for Friday night. Um? She's not in the wedding - we're only having a MOH and BM, and those are the only people attending the rehearsal, along with our officiant. 

    And then this is what really pissed me off. On Friday, FI and I are going rock climbing. It's just us, our climbing guide and our photographer. Since we didn't do an engagement session, he offered to photograph us climbing. Awesome! We also plan to read each other our personal vows while on top of the mountain. Just us. We didn't want to read our written vows in front of all of our guests at the ceremony the next day. So, this is what we decided. Only a few people knew about this. Well, my cousin found out and basically tried to invite herself along! What the fuck, dude? She said there were "rumors" that we were all getting together for this. UGH. 
    OMG. I am SO glad I am done with all that bullshit! RSVPs were THE MOST stressful part of the wedding. Remember my crazy Aunt from the etiquette thread? Almost tore our family in two over here grandchildren not coming to the rehearsal dinner.

    Its super cute that you're reading your personal vows on the mountain. I'm assuming the standard traditional vows will be done at the ceremony?

    That's crazy!  Seriously, our rehearsal dinner is like 6 people. FI's mom and my parents MIGHT come. Why does she want to come to this? It's so bizarre. She didn't have a rehearsal or a rehearsal dinner for her wedding. Why is she expecting me to host her???

    Yup, we're doing the standard traditional vows at the ceremony the next day. 

    When FMIL found out that we're reading our personal vows on the mountain and not in front of everyone, she asked if she could read them. 


    Bahaha. No, FMIL, you may not read my vows to your son where I vow to have crazy sex with him every single morning and night on every surface in the house... And where I vow to love him forever. But mostly the kinky part about sex.

    image   image   image

  • She has boundary issues, as I'm sure you can tell! 
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