Favors
Options
donation as favors
in Favors
im donating to the melanoma foundation and was wondering how one goes about doing so. how did you tell your guests?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: donation as favors
I do not agree with donations in lieu of favors, so I don't really have any great advice. Anything you say is going to read as "We just did what we'd do on any given day but have decided to call it YOUR 'favor,' and too bad if it's a charity/organization that you don't agree with, because we consider it an honor and so should you" to a lot of people.
I'm not trying to sound harsh, or mean, or anything else - just honest. If you truly believe in the cause, a donation can be made at any time without fanfare or an excuse to do so.
It's also kind of like saying "everything else in the wedding was too important to cut out and give the money to charity, but since it was just something you were going to get, and not us, we were cool with it." I've never seen anyone hand out a card that said "I got a used wedding gown so I could send the rest of the money I would have used on that to charity."
Just my thoughts on it.
[QUOTE]im donating to the melanoma foundation and was wondering how one goes about doing so. how did you tell your guests?
Posted by kharrell89[/QUOTE]
<a href="http://www.melanomafoundation.org/AMF/donation.htm" rel="nofollow">http://www.melanomafoundation.org/AMF/donation.htm</a> is the page to donate.
As for telling your guests, well, read some of the other posts and read the sticky thread.
But don't pretend that they're a favor to your guests. Because they're not. They're a favor to the organization, and to you. You're taking the money you'd spend on a little something for your guests and giving it to someone else. How do you figure that's a favor for your guests?
Honestly, I don't need a favor. I don't really want a favor. You're already giving me food, drinks, entertainment. I don't need a matchbook or m&ms (although I LOVE m&ms) as a thank you.
But please don't in any, way, shape or form think that giving $$ to a charity is somehow doing something for me.
I'd liken it to a guest coming to your wedding and giving you a card that says "In honor of your marriage, I have given a donation to the "eastern micronesia tsunami prevention fund". It may be important to your guest, but it probably doesn't mean anything to you. So it's not really a gift for you, is it.
[QUOTE]i think you are doing a great thing donating...i considered it too,<u> <strong>i dont see it as something you would do on a normal day</strong></u>, <em>its not very often where you have a bunch of money to donate</em>, and to me spending so much on gifts people dont even pay much attention to is a waste, might as well send it to a good cause.
Posted by abbiewebster[/QUOTE]
Actually, I do donate to lots of different causes all the time. I donate to local 4H and FFA by purchasing their animals at the fair. I donate to the Children's Hospital on a monthly basis- $20/month. I purchase from school fundraisers as often as possible, including attending sports and other events and purchasing from their concessions. These all affect my community and what is around me, and I am proud to be a supporter. I am however not going to tell everyone around me on my wedding day that I get tax write-offs because of my generosity to these programs and pretend it is a favor (or lack thereof) for my guests.
And no, not a lot of people have a bunch of money to donate, but that is because they choose not to until it becomes something to gain attention for. As I previously stated, I donate $20/month. I set this up annually through a telethon and it is taken from my checking account on the first of the month. I live on a tight budget and $20 is honestly not a bunch, but I am contributing to the the health and well being to children in my area, not some national place I will never see any benefits from.
Contribute to "charities" in different ways than a lump sum of money that you call a favor for your guests.
I am not doing a donation as a favor. I am doing a donation in honor of my guests. I really don't understand what is wrong with that. I come from a culture that holds donations very high on the list of things that are important. With that background, it seems selfish and silly to buy a bunch of favors when you could be putting that extra money towards something more meaningful than tiny plastic hearts filled with candies (which are going to be thrown away anyway!)
Has anyone really gotten a party favor since you were 9? Because I sure haven't. Why start now? I agree with a PP- I am providing them with food, music, an open bar and dancing. How many people would honestly walk away saying "Where are my Jordan Almonds? I can't believe I wasted my time here and I didn't even get a favor!"
RSVP Date: November 5, 2010
I am all for donations in lieu of favors...especially if the organization means something to the guests as well as the bride and groom.
A good friend of ours passed away last year and we are donating to the memorial fund set up in his name. Since the majority of the people at the wedding were also good friends with him, we feel that they will appreciate that far more than a piece of chocolate.
Megan & Chris
MC22, I can completely understand that sentiment. I really can. I think it's a very nice thing of you to do. Why, though, do you have to say "in lieu of favors" in order to do it? Why even bring favors into it? Also, why is that what you chose to cut as opposed to...new shoes or having your hair done or flowers or a honeymoon or jewelry or anything else at the wedding? I'm really not trying to be difficult here (that was what the PETA comment was for!), I just wonder why it was favors you opted to cut and, since you did, why would you TELL your guests that? Couldn't "and as part of our wedding, we wanted to honor (friend's name who passed away) by donating x amount of money to (organization name)," be said and favors just left out of it?
As the person previously said, favors aren't needed. There is no reason to have them other than just a token gesture or to be excessive in how much you do for your reception. I just can't imagine making an issue of not having given them.
most of you were no help but thank you to those who were.
It was a personal choice and I really only posted to be supportive of the original poster. Obviously melanoma is a cause close to her family's heart (as evidenced in her last post). And because I'm in a similar situation, I wanted her to know that she isn't alone and there are other people doing the same thing.
I think everyone's opinions on this, and everything else, differ so again, I was just being supportive. That's all.
Megan & Chris
I also think it looks really selfish/silly when I see the donation-in-lieu-of-favors card next to the floral centerpieces that cost $XXX. Really? If you cared so much about the charity/cause why didn't you sacrifice that money instead.
That said, I understand that when people lose someone they love they want to have them remembered at their wedding. I just don't think donations in lieu of favors is the best way to do it. Why can't you just say "In memory of My Loved One a donation was made to This Charity/Research". No need to mention favors. No need to say "In honor of our guests."
[QUOTE]I never understood why people even bothered with favors. Why do they need a favor? I never take mine home, unless they are chocolate and those generally get eaten before we leave the reception. I am not doing a donation as a favor. I am doing a donation in honor of my guests. I really don't understand what is wrong with that. I come from a culture that holds donations very high on the list of things that are important. <u><em><strong>With that background, it seems selfish and silly to buy a bunch of favors when you could be putting that extra money towards something more meaningful than tiny plastic hearts filled with candies (which are going to be thrown away anyway!)</strong></em></u> Has anyone really gotten a party favor since you were 9? Because I sure haven't. Why start now? I agree with a PP- I am providing them with food, music, an open bar and dancing. How many people would honestly walk away saying "Where are my Jordan Almonds? I can't believe I wasted my time here and I didn't even get a favor!"
Posted by leoraanna[/QUOTE]
Oh-but it's not sillly to spend hundreds of $$ on centerpieces, or a veil, or an expensive pair of shoes, or a limo? Why not get someone to drive you and donate THAT money to a charity?
Why not wear a pair of shoes that are already in your closet and donate the money for the new shoes to a charity?
Why not do your own makeup and donate THAT money to charity?
Why not skip centerpieces or linens and donate THAT money to charity?
All of the above are things that mean something to you. So it's appropriate that you would donate money for something important to YOU to your charity.
But why is the favor the only thing that's skipped?
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: donation as favors : Oh-but it's not sillly to spend hundreds of $$ on centerpieces, or a veil, or an expensive pair of shoes, or a limo? Why not get someone to drive you and donate THAT money to a charity? Why not wear a pair of shoes that are already in your closet and donate the money for the new shoes to a charity? Why not do your own makeup and donate THAT money to charity? Why not skip centerpieces or linens and donate THAT money to charity? All of the above are things that mean something to you. So it's appropriate that you would donate money for something important to YOU to your charity. But why is the favor the only thing that's skipped?
Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]
I'm not spending even 200 on centerpieces, a veil (borrowed), shoes (sale), no limo (not even a car, we are juts going to drive there like normal people), a friend is doing my makeup, the linens come with the venue. Your argument seems almost more silly than the idea of favors to begin with now.
I honestly just don't understand why favors are so important to people anyway. I honestly can't remember what favor I got at any wedding I've ever been to, and I didn't notice that they weren't there at the weddings where there weren't any. Get over it.
RSVP Date: November 5, 2010
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: donation as favors : I'm not spending even 200 on centerpieces, a veil (borrowed), shoes (sale), no limo (not even a car, we are juts going to drive there like normal people), a friend is doing my makeup, the linens come with the venue. Your argument seems almost more silly than the idea of favors to begin with now. I honestly just don't understand why favors are so important to people anyway. I honestly can't remember what favor I got at any wedding I've ever been to, and I didn't notice that they weren't there at the weddings where there weren't any. Get over it.
Posted by leoraanna[/QUOTE]
You can get favors on sale too you know, leoraanna. Or you can make them at very little cost.
Favors are not important to me at all. I would never notice if I went to a wedding and did not receive a favor. And if favors aren't important to you, why bother having anything? Why not just donate the extra money to a charity in private? Why make a show of it?
I just don't like donations in lieu of favors. I find it very condescending.
You can try to justify it any way you want, but you should know that not all of your guests will think kindly on this type of "favor".
[QUOTE]I never understood why people even bothered with favors. Why do they need a favor? I never take mine home, unless they are chocolate and those generally get eaten before we leave the reception. I am not doing a donation as a favor. I am doing a donation in honor of my guests. I really don't understand what is wrong with that. I come from a culture that holds donations very high on the list of things that are important. With that background, it seems selfish and silly to buy a bunch of favors when you could be putting that extra money towards something more meaningful than tiny plastic hearts filled with candies (which are going to be thrown away anyway!) Has anyone really gotten a party favor since you were 9? Because I sure haven't. Why start now? I agree with a PP- I am providing them with food, music, an open bar and dancing. How many people would honestly walk away saying "Where are my Jordan Almonds? I can't believe I wasted my time here and I didn't even get a favor!"
Posted by leoraanna[/QUOTE]
I couldn't have said it better myself!! People were OVERJOYED to learn that my FI and I are doing a donation to a special place for our family. People look at favors as dust collectors, and if they're edible, they're gone in 60 seconds without a memory at all. At least with a donation, people will look back and say, "wow, they did something nice for someone they really care about." Doesn't get better than that :)
"In lieu of favors, B and G have chosen to honor their wedding celebration with a donation to the Dana Farber Cancer Institute. Our hearts are with all of our friends and family affected by cancer."
RSVP Date: November 5, 2010
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: donation as favors : I'm not spending even 200 on centerpieces, a veil (borrowed), shoes (sale), no limo (not even a car, we are juts going to drive there like normal people), a friend is doing my makeup, the linens come with the venue. Your argument seems almost more silly than the idea of favors to begin with now. I honestly just don't understand why favors are so important to people anyway. I honestly can't remember what favor I got at any wedding I've ever been to, and I didn't notice that they weren't there at the weddings where there weren't any. Get over it.
Posted by leoraanna[/QUOTE]
If you had read my post you would have noticed that I said I don't want favors....I don't need favors....I don't care if I get favors. Because I don't think they're all that important.
But I think if you're going to give something TO someone, then give them something instead of giving yourself a tax deductible "something" that's meaningful to you.
My FI are going to do a donation to a favorite charity in honor of our wedding. But it'll be quiet and private because we're not so insecure (or attention whorish) as to need people to congratulate us for our charity works and deeds.
If you're cutting costs, don't spend extra time and money printing up the AW donation cards.
I came to this thread hoping to see if you had gotten any help in your quest for information because I too was interested in the idea. All I have gained is negativity and people with too much time on their hands. Why respond to a post with a personal opinion? It was posted to gain information not hear others negative opinions...why waste your time posting about a thread you have no interest in or agree with? Just to put others down? If you all donate so often you should think about changing your attitudes towards people in general to go along with your charitable outlook life and be kind. Goes much farther than donating every day.