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Etiquette

Different Size Families - Guest List of Horrors

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Re: Different Size Families - Guest List of Horrors

  • jenijoykjenijoyk member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    edited July 2014
    So I don't get to invite any friends and his mom can invite the mailman? I don't understand this logic at all anymore.

    I gave in to her wanting a cake when I didn't. I gave in to an open bar instead of beer and wine only on a Sunday afternoon wedding. I gave in to a DJ and I gave in to 100 other things. This is THOUSANDS of dollars of "giving in" that we're talking about here. WHY do I have to give in on the guest list as well in order to get help in financing it?

    See? You're upset about non-guest list things too! ;) Just kidding... weddings are such a mess of feelings. I'm sure if you sit down with you fiance tonight and explain to him that the guest list is really stressing you out, and you feel like the budget is kind of spiraling out of control with the cake/dj/etc.. (Start the convo with, "I love you to pieces."... that always works for me, haha.) And you realize that your side of the guest list started out huge, and his started out small, and you hope that he and his mom don't think that this means their side will be lost in the crowd. And you don't want them to think you're replacing your wedidng with a big family reunion, and maybe instead of adding his mom's mailman you can find other ways to close the gap and make sure that his family is front and center. Like, adding some readings during the ceremony, reserving some extra pews in the front for his family, giving them the best reception tables, etc.

    Good luck!! When the day actually arrives, you'll forget all about the extra couple thousand of dollars. (At least that is what I'm telling myself right now too!!!)

  • ambercge said:
    morphemes said:
    Eeesh this sounds like a mess! I'm sorry this is so hard, family can be tough to deal with because it can be hard to say no to them. You might have to just do that.

    If paying for the wedding yourselves isn't an option, and if you choose to accept money from your parents and FMIL, then they do have a say in who gets invited. I honestly think your best option is the 40/40/10/10 that a PP suggested. Giving both sets of parents 40% of the guest list and 10% to each of you and your FI. 

    I understand that you have a larger family, but I don't think it follows that you should have 75% of the guest list. I don't think the 50/50 split is necessarily the fairest option either, but this is your FIs wedding too and honestly he should be able to fill his "half" of the guest spots. Now, I'm sort of logical-minded myself, but this is what I would suggest. Invite everyone's family members. All of yours and all of his. If your family makes up more than 50% (which is sounds like) then any "extra" guest spots (room left over after family) goes to your FI to invite whoever he wants, without judgment on your part that someone on your side is "more important". 
    So I don't get to invite any friends and his mom can invite the mailman? I don't understand this logic at all anymore.

    I gave in to her wanting a cake when I didn't. I gave in to an open bar instead of beer and wine only on a Sunday afternoon wedding. I gave in to a DJ and I gave in to 100 other things. This is THOUSANDS of dollars of "giving in" that we're talking about here. WHY do I have to give in on the guest list as well in order to get help in financing it?
    That's not what I was suggesting (definitely not the mailman!). But it sounds like this is turning into an event that may be dominated by your family. I'm not suggesting that anyone is at "fault" for that, obviously the size of your family is not in your control. It seems like your family being there is very important to you, and you should get to invite those family members that you want there! But is it fair to your FI to tell him that you get 60% of the guest list for your family, he gets 20% and then you each split the remaining 20%? (these are completely hypothetical numbers but that turns into a wedding that is 70% your family and friends). It seems slightly unfair that you would get more than half the guest list just for your family and then expect to split the remainder. Afterall, this is about your FI (and yes, his mother as well since she's paying) as well as you. So, in short, yes. If you want your family there more than anything, you still need to give your FI a "fair" portion of guest spots to allocate as he will. 

    I keep seeing you write "I". "I gave in to getting the cake" , "I gave into getting the DJ". I realize your FI isn't as involved in the wedding planning process, but the one time you mentioned what he wanted--he wanted a more "equal" or 50/50 guest list. This is his wedding too. I don't agree with your FI's logic completely, but I can *see* where he's coming from. It sounds like you both need to sit down together (without parents) and have an honest conversation about what is most important to both of you.   
    PrettyGirlLostholyguacamole79
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    ambercge said:
    What is your total budget, and in an ideal world, what is the total number of people you want to invite?

    Our total budget is about 7K from each of the parents. so 14K. We're attempting to stay within this range as MUCH as possible because any leftover money the parents have agreed to give as a gift to us. We pay for various things ourselves as we go, such as my dress, gifts for the attendants, etc. But, as said, any leftover money is a gift, so we'd get it.

    In an ideal world I'd like to invite OUR A List which comes to 253 (100 are his and includes some extended family that I'm not fighting since I know his family IS smaller.) I'd like to use those 18 "and Guests" that she's attached (not included in the 253 count) t0o invite a handful of my friends.

    Instead of this happening, however, she presented me with a modified list that included another 40 some guests with even more "and Guests" bringing our list up well over 300 and increasing our venue budget nearly 2K (which, we obviously lose for other budgeted things).
    BTW, don't shoot the messenger on this, but are you factoring in SO"s of your guests in this list?  I am of the opinion that on the day of the wedding, truly single guests don't need a courtesy Plus One if they will have family or friends present at the wedding BUT you need to assume all of your single friends and family will have an SO at the time of your wedding as a buffer to your list and budget to be safe.

    If her list has increased the budget by 2K, I would have no problem with telling his famikly that, I think FI should be the one to do it, and giving them the option of increasing their contribution or cutting their list.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    southernbelle0915morphemes
  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    ambercge said:
    What is your total budget, and in an ideal world, what is the total number of people you want to invite?

    Our total budget is about 7K from each of the parents. so 14K. We're attempting to stay within this range as MUCH as possible because any leftover money the parents have agreed to give as a gift to us. We pay for various things ourselves as we go, such as my dress, gifts for the attendants, etc. But, as said, any leftover money is a gift, so we'd get it.

    In an ideal world I'd like to invite OUR A List which comes to 253 (100 are his and includes some extended family that I'm not fighting since I know his family IS smaller.) I'd like to use those 18 "and Guests" that she's attached (not included in the 253 count) t0o invite a handful of my friends.

    Instead of this happening, however, she presented me with a modified list that included another 40 some guests with even more "and Guests" bringing our list up well over 300 and increasing our venue budget nearly 2K (which, we obviously lose for other budgeted things).
    RE: a previous comment I'm too lazy to quote - I didn't get the impression that anyone suggested you "ruin" your wedding by caving to your FMIL (and I also didn't think any of the suggestions even sounded like anything getting ruined). My impression was people were giving you suggestions to stretch your budget as far as possible if you chose to decline their money and fund your own wedding so you could make all the decisions. 

    RE: the above - your A-list is 153 'your people' and 100 'his people'? And you both initially agreed on it? That sounds pretty fair to me. Put your foot down on those extra 40 people, but I would not remove the "and guests" from any of those people though until the very last minute - you need to assume any of them could enter relationships with people between now and the day you send your invitations. If you want to add 18 friends (which is totally your right), I would take a hard look at any extended family from your side first and see if you absolutely have to invite, say, every step-grandparent and step-cousin. Would your day really, truly be ruined if you didn't have all 60 cousins there? A 150/100 split isn't bad, but a 168/81 split does seem a bit unfair.

    Please don't try to skimp on anything just so you get a bigger gift at the end. If anything, I think you should be really trying to tighten your own belts and save up so you can contribute to paying for this shindig as well. Your arguments will go a lot further with everyone concerned if you two are also footing some of the bill.

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    PrettyGirlLostchibiyuihuskypuppy14cowgirl8238
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I hope you know I did really try to make this into paragraphs.

    OP, here is my suggestion. Not sure if this is helpful or not. Just throwing my hat into the ring here:

    1. Tell all parties involved (you, FI, and all sets of parents) to write down their ideal guest-lists and group their guests into 3 categories: Absolutely-Must-Have-I-Will-Die-If-These-People-Aren't-Present VIPs, I-Really-Really-Very-Much-So-Want-These-People-Present guests, and It-Would-Be-Great-To-Have-These-People-Attend guests. Give them, like, 2 days to make it happen.

     2. Once you have all lists (since you ultimately get to decide the final guest list), check for any crossovers. Did both you and FI list the same college buddies in group 2? Did both you and mom list the same relative in group 1?

    3. All people named in group 1 off YOURS AND FI'S list get invited. These are your absolute most important in your lives, that one may have more of them is honestly irrelevant.

    4. Depending on how much of your guest list is left, give about 80% of the remaining spots to fill with guests from everyone's group 2. You two decide how to make this work. You know your family/friends, FI knows his family/friends.

    5. For the remaining spots on the list, see who's left. Yes, the fucking mailman can get cut. Sorry, guy-across-the-country-and-his-nameless-guest can get cut. If the people that you and FI absolutely must have at your wedding take up all the spots and there's no room for group 3, then that's that.

    Don't show your FMIL the guest list, and don't show your mom the guest list. Tell your FI that you two are going to handle this in a way that is reasonable and fair, and it is not fair that his side just gets to invite willy-nilly in order to fill up spots that could go to people you truly care about.

    You DO have to have to be sincere in making these groups, though. Don't unfairly stack one group heavier with people. Really ask yourself, "Would I take this person out to dinner? Would I welcome them to stay in my home for a weekend? Would I expect them to show up at my funeral?"

    I know these are really heavy questions to ask yourself, but it sounds like you gotta apply some pretty serious restrictions in order to get this guest list pared down. Also, don't forget OP, that anybody in a relationship must be invited with their SO. Also, 16 year olds and truly single people DO NOT NEED +1s and FMIL will have to accept that the budget simply does not allow for it. If she believes that someone will be lonely at the wedding, then it's probably best that they get cut from the list.
    I gave you paragraphs and I totes agree with the bolded.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • ambercge said:
    What is your total budget, and in an ideal world, what is the total number of people you want to invite?

    Our total budget is about 7K from each of the parents. so 14K. We're attempting to stay within this range as MUCH as possible because any leftover money the parents have agreed to give as a gift to us. We pay for various things ourselves as we go, such as my dress, gifts for the attendants, etc. But, as said, any leftover money is a gift, so we'd get it.

    In an ideal world I'd like to invite OUR A List which comes to 253 (100 are his and includes some extended family that I'm not fighting since I know his family IS smaller.) I'd like to use those 18 "and Guests" that she's attached (not included in the 253 count) t0o invite a handful of my friends.

    Instead of this happening, however, she presented me with a modified list that included another 40 some guests with even more "and Guests" bringing our list up well over 300 and increasing our venue budget nearly 2K (which, we obviously lose for other budgeted things).
    I hate to do the "she who pays..." thing here, but is that a factor in how you and your FI are reacting to your FMIL's guest (and cake) demands? I mean, even if there aren't any strings attached, after a certain point, it's really hard to say no to your mom when she's shelling out for 50% of the party. If that's the case, you may have to learn to deal with her taking over part of the guest list (though I personally don't think that means she should get to invite the postman's niece), whether you like it or not. 

    If that's not the case, then I concur with PP about you and FI talking it out first and getting on the same page before you attempt to tackle the whole FMIL thing. Guest list was our #1 biggest fight about the wedding, and took a good 6 months to resolve because we were fighting about money, priorities, family and friends all at once. 
    PrettyGirlLost
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Can you find a compromise, where you can invite all of the desired guests (even though I think FMIL is being ridiculous!) but cut back to beer & wine only, no cake, and no DJ.  That might at least balance out your budget.  Just say, "Sorry FMIL, you insisted on the mailman's brother being invited to the wedding, so this was the only way to possibly accomplish this with our budget."
    cowgirl8238
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Hold the phone.  You're the same person who said that your dogs are more important than your guests, right?  (page 3)   http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1032315/dog-at-ceremony-reception


    Something isn't adding up here. 


  • jnissajnissa member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I'm going to stay out of the dog debate and just respond to the issue :) 

    This is a take-off on the poster who said to break it down by "We can give you invites or we can give you a cake, etc." Why not create a spreadsheet with the amount FMIL, mother and you and FI are putting in. Three separate columns. Then itemize what it's being spent on. After cake, DJ, etc. she gets X invites. Maybe your FI really wants to give her those things too, so you split those costs across both of you. Then you each get X invites. Your parents money isn't going to cake, dj etc. since they don't care about those things - so they get more invites at $24 a head. Then it's up to her what her money gets spent on. But honestly you might be in a losing situation because it sound like FI just wants to make her happy - and that will be hard to overcome. I get why people are worked up about this, but it may just be a thing that is how it is right now. 

    But you should definitely be removing rings and honeymoon from your wedding budget. Those are other issues altogether. I can't help you clear money from rings (I mean, you do need those), but one thing to consider is that you don't need to take a honeymoon right after or near your wedding. Have the wedding. See how your finances are after that. You may (likely will) come in under budget as people decline (though obviously budget for the worst case scenario). You likely will also get some money from wedding gifts. Then you can look at that money and decide what's in the budget for the honeymoon. It would be crappy to cut back on invites or perks for your guests just so you could fit honeymoon into the initial budget. 
    MGP
  • So I skipped though reading all 3 pages but my 2 cents is that you two should make a list of people that You TWO want to invite - people that you couldn't imagine not inviting to your wedding (family & friends). If your list is full, it's full. If you have extra room, then give your parents a list of their family members you have invited (so you don't get duplicates) and the number of guests they can request. To me that seems the most fair. Of course you/your family will have more guests invited, but each set of parents will have the same number of "extra" guests. Just because you have room for 500 guests doesn't mean you have to invite 500.

    huskypuppy14
  • you need to sit down with all of them. you and fi need to be on the same page i had some issues with my now husband about the guest list. i have a huge family and he has a small one he wanted to invite everyone and there mother. 

    since his mom could care less who came she was not at one time even going to show up but thats a whole other issue 

    anyways we invited his family from out of state west coast but no one could come due to age health reasons we invited his co workers only the ones he was close with and his good friends plus his godparents

    when we sent out our save the dates we had a guest list of 168 when our final numbers came in for our reception counts we had only 116 people showing up at the wedding  and two people who did not show up the day of ( venue gave us there meals)


    if they dont even know the persons last name why are they getting an invite? 

    thats crazy you should be able to invite all your cousins 


  • The dogs is an entirely different situation.

    A) My family is important to me. They deserve to be invited over the mailman.
    B) If my family has a problem with my dogs, they don't have to attend the ceremony where the dogs will be present. It doesn't mean they don't deserve an invitation to the reception.

    Seriously, that's not that difficult to understand.
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    ambercge said:
    The dogs is an entirely different situation.

    A) My family is important to me. They deserve to be invited over the mailman.
    B) If my family has a problem with my dogs, they don't have to attend the ceremony where the dogs will be present. It doesn't mean they don't deserve an invitation to the reception.

    Seriously, that's not that difficult to understand.
    1. Is your FMIL actually, literally trying to invite her mailman or are you just being dramatic?

    2. Really?  Because I thought that they weren't as important as your dogs:
     "I have three dogs and they are ALL more important than half of my guests. They are my family and have been for the last 3 years. Not my cousins who I see twice a year. . . ."

    Your comment regarding your guests not attending your ceremony is kind of callous.  For the majority of people, the wedding ceremony is the single most important aspect of a wedding day, and the part that is most important to them to witness.  Your family want to witness your marriage over attending your reception, and often receptions are just glorified parties that have dry chicken and dry cake.

    I'm beginning to think that this guest list drama is really just a power struggle with your FMIL.   Good luck to you, I hope it all works out for you in the end!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Well I'm glad people didn't sit out of my mother's wedding when I stood under the Chuppah with her. *shivers* nasty kids. Running all over the place. No place in a wedding. Seriously, how can I just delete this whole thread. I've clearly had enough of the self-righteous people on here. I just wanted a bit of help with how to explain things to the FMIL who was trying to "keep up" on the damn guest list. The rest of the wedding has nothing to do with my initial post.
  • Also, on the topic of the ceremony being the "important part". For the record: FMIL doesn't want to invite anyone TO the ceremony outside the first 50 or so people. So don't tell me that's the point of this either.
  • ambercge said:
    Well I'm glad people didn't sit out of my mother's wedding when I stood under the Chuppah with her. *shivers* nasty kids. Running all over the place. No place in a wedding. Seriously, how can I just delete this whole thread. I've clearly had enough of the self-righteous people on here. I just wanted a bit of help with how to explain things to the FMIL who was trying to "keep up" on the damn guest list. The rest of the wedding has nothing to do with my initial post.
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    AprilH81chibiyuimorphemesOliveOilsMom
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    ambercge said:
    Also, on the topic of the ceremony being the "important part". For the record: FMIL doesn't want to invite anyone TO the ceremony outside the first 50 or so people. So don't tell me that's the point of this either.
    I will tell you, because you are not making sense and seem to be trying to rationalize something. . . although what, I can't actually tell.

    The ceremony is the important part.  It's the only reason for throwing the big, over- priced party afterwards. . . to thank your guests for attending your wedding ceremony and supporting your marriage.

    So your FMIL only wants to invite 50 people to the wedding ceremony?  Well then that is the entirety of her guest list, because it's beyond fucking rude to invite ppl to the reception only.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    chibiyuihuskypuppy14
  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    ambercge said:
    Well I'm glad people didn't sit out of my mother's wedding when I stood under the Chuppah with her. *shivers* nasty kids. Running all over the place. No place in a wedding. Seriously, how can I just delete this whole thread. I've clearly had enough of the self-righteous people on here. I just wanted a bit of help with how to explain things to the FMIL who was trying to "keep up" on the damn guest list. The rest of the wedding has nothing to do with my initial post.
    Nobody is being self-righteous. Nobody said anything about your dogs. People gave you really good advice on how to FIRST talk to your FI, and then once you're on the same page, talk to your FMIL. You will NOT be able to address anything with her without your FI's support. The added information from the dog post just made it seem like maybe your guest list isn't QUITE as important as you'd previously stated with the comment about the thought of them not being there "literally" making you sick to your stomach.

    It sounds like you have plenty of wiggle room for compromise on both sides. Agree on that with your FI first and then approach the issue with FMIL. Invite people to both ceremony and reception, and call it a day. Nobody cares whether your dogs are there or not.

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    chibiyuiPrettyGirlLost
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    ambercge said:
    The dogs is an entirely different situation.

    A) My family is important to me. They deserve to be invited over the mailman.
    B) If my family has a problem with my dogs, they don't have to attend the ceremony where the dogs will be present. It doesn't mean they don't deserve an invitation to the reception.

    Seriously, that's not that difficult to understand.
    IMO, the dog thread isn't an entirely different situation AT ALL. It shows a bit of your character.


    ambercge said:
    Well I'm glad people didn't sit out of my mother's wedding when I stood under the Chuppah with her. *shivers* nasty kids. Running all over the place. No place in a wedding. Seriously, how can I just delete this whole thread. I've clearly had enough of the self-righteous people on here. I just wanted a bit of help with how to explain things to the FMIL who was trying to "keep up" on the damn guest list. The rest of the wedding has nothing to do with my initial post.
    Everyone has already quoted you, so there really is no way to delete this thread.  Also, the fact that you refer to children as "nasty" really does not help your cause. 

    So you want your dogs at your wedding.  You want your "5 parental figures, 8 siblings, 13 living grandparents, 30 aunts and uncles, and well over 60 first-cousins" at your wedding.  You also want your friends at your wedding.  I get it.  Really, I do.

    You have to learn to draw a line at some point and learn how to make compromises.  If I were your FMIL and I was contributing the same amount as your parents, I'd want the same amount of representation of my "side".  Do I think your FMIL is being unreasonable by asking random people as you say she is?  Yes.  Do I think you're unreasonable for asserting that you think dogs are more important than humans?  Yes.  It sounds like you two are at an impasse.  Or you're perfect for each other. 
    ambercge said:
    Also, on the topic of the ceremony being the "important part". For the record: FMIL doesn't want to invite anyone TO the ceremony outside the first 50 or so people. So don't tell me that's the point of this either.
    Also, please clarify this ... is your FMIL inviting people to the reception only?  That just sounds really strange and a tad bit rude.  If I found out that I was invited to a wedding reception (not the wedding itself) and that the couple chose to have DOGS there over me, I'd turn around and leave with my gift in tow.
    cowgirl8238PrettyGirlLost
  • You weren't calling anybody self-righteous until you got called out for your attitude towards your human guests in another post. If you want advice from strangers, be prepared for them to take elements of the situation into consideration that you may not have been able to rationalize from your personal perspective. That being said, you got a LOT of really good suggestions here on how to approach your guest list problems. Also, you're being ridiculous by comparing children to dogs. People generally are not allergic to children. Seriously can't believe you even tried to take it there.
    PrettyGirlLost

  • ambercge said:
    The dogs is an entirely different situation.

    A) My family is important to me. They deserve to be invited over the mailman.
    B) If my family has a problem with my dogs, they don't have to attend the ceremony where the dogs will be present. It doesn't mean they don't deserve an invitation to the reception.

    Seriously, that's not that difficult to understand.
    IMO, the dog thread isn't an entirely different situation AT ALL. It shows a bit of your character.


    ambercge said:
    Well I'm glad people didn't sit out of my mother's wedding when I stood under the Chuppah with her. *shivers* nasty kids. Running all over the place. No place in a wedding. Seriously, how can I just delete this whole thread. I've clearly had enough of the self-righteous people on here. I just wanted a bit of help with how to explain things to the FMIL who was trying to "keep up" on the damn guest list. The rest of the wedding has nothing to do with my initial post.
    Everyone has already quoted you, so there really is no way to delete this thread.  Also, the fact that you refer to children as "nasty" really does not help your cause. 

    So you want your dogs at your wedding.  You want your "5 parental figures, 8 siblings, 13 living grandparents, 30 aunts and uncles, and well over 60 first-cousins" at your wedding.  You also want your friends at your wedding.  I get it.  Really, I do.

    You have to learn to draw a line at some point and learn how to make compromises.  If I were your FMIL and I was contributing the same amount as your parents, I'd want the same amount of representation of my "side".  Do I think your FMIL is being unreasonable by asking random people as you say she is?  Yes.  Do I think you're unreasonable for asserting that you think dogs are more important than humans?  Yes.  It sounds like you two are at an impasse.  Or you're perfect for each other. 
    ambercge said:
    Also, on the topic of the ceremony being the "important part". For the record: FMIL doesn't want to invite anyone TO the ceremony outside the first 50 or so people. So don't tell me that's the point of this either.
    Also, please clarify this ... is your FMIL inviting people to the reception only?  That just sounds really strange and a tad bit rude.  If I found out that I was invited to a wedding reception (not the wedding itself) and that the couple chose to have DOGS there over me, I'd turn around and leave with my gift in tow.

    No sane person could really think all of this is okay!

    Inviting dogs to the reception despite numerous reasons not to. (including potentially serious, even lethal, possible outcomes!)

    Potentially hosting a not so private ceremony with a bigger reception.  (if you want a private ceremony then fine, but it shouldn't be more than say 15-20 people not the first 50 and then the rest get invited to just the reception!)

    Giving in to demands to have a certain cake, a dj, and on and on...just say no!!!!!!!!!

    My advice,  turn down everyones money, host the wedding YOU want (because who gives a shit what your FI wants!!!)  and then invite whoever!  Don't worry if someone has severe allergies or fear of dogs!  Don't worry if the guest list is even, your Husband won't mind! 

    PrettyGirlLostsouthernbelle0915
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    If your FMIL only wants 50 people at the ceremony, then that's who she gets at the reception too. No way does she get to invite 50 people to the ceremony and then an additional 50 peopel (or whatever) to the reception.

    I'm not touching the dog part of the story.
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    PrettyGirlLost
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