Catholic and Jewish interfaith ceremony ideas

bananasplit472001 · July 2014

I am having a Catholic (me) and Jewish (FI) interfaith wedding. We have hired a minister that specializes in Jewish/Catholic interfaith weddings. While he will be able to help us plan out the ceremony I wanted to get some ideas from people who have already had their weddings. What pieces, customs or traditions can we include from both religions. We are trying to make it almost 50/50 as to not insult our families by favoring one religion. It is not a religious ceremony but just one that we would be using the "practices" as to make the ceremony religiously symbolic. This is why we are calling it an inter-faith wedding. For example we will be renting a Chuppah and having a Ketubah made. Any help is appriciated.

Jen4948 · July 2014

Leave out the glass smashing. That has a Jewish-specific religious connotation.

Also, Jews cannot receive communion.

southernbelle0915 · July 2014

You'll have to be really careful about religious traditions if you don't want to get the side-eye from family members on both sides. I would not have communion.

Traditions I think are "harmless" are: using "and" instead of "to" in your invitations (Jewish), having both mother and father walk bride and groom down the aisle (Jewish), have New Testament readings (Catholic), a hymn or Psalms (Catholic)...

manateehugger · July 2014

I think making a ceremony not religious but only "religiously symbolic" is an easy way to offend not just half of your guests, but all of them.

If you aren't religious, why not just have a secular ceremony?

Marzipan13 · July 2014

But it's not actually a religious ceremony, you said so yourself - If you're not going to continue these practices for real once you're a married couple, why do them at your wedding? If you're trying to save face for family members, just skip it. Have a secular ceremony. This would be less offensive than a quasi-symbolic-faux-religious ceremony. It would be offensive, however, to cherry pick things of religious significance (to the devout) just because you "like them".
Again, I use the example of mehndi is gorgeous, but it would be very offensive for me to wear it on my wedding day. I am not Hindu, I am not marrying someone who is Hindu, I don't plan on converting to Hinduism.

bananasplit472001 · July 2014

PDKH said:

I think making a ceremony not religious but only "religiously symbolic" is an easy way to offend not just half of your guests, but all of them.

If you aren't religious, why not just have a secular ceremony?

I mean technically it will not be religious. We actually already discussed that it will be "religiously symbolic" and they are not offended. Technically it will be a secular ceremony but we will have kippahs, a chuppah and a ketubah which is why it is just symbolic from the jewish side. The catholic side is more difficult. We can't have communion or a mass so what else is there?

bananasplit472001 · July 2014

Marzipan13 said:

But it's not actually a religious ceremony, you said so yourself - If you're not going to continue these practices for real once you're a married couple, why do them at your wedding? If you're trying to save face for family members, just skip it. Have a secular ceremony. This would be less offensive than a quasi-symbolic-faux-religious ceremony. It would be offensive, however, to cherry pick things of religious significance (to the devout) just because you "like them".
Again, I use the example of mehndi is gorgeous, but it would be very offensive for me to wear it on my wedding day. I am not Hindu, I am not marrying someone who is Hindu, I don't plan on converting to Hinduism.

We are going to continue these practices after the wedding. It's just that we have different religions and neither or us want to convert. We both feel strong about continuing our individual religions into our future family. It's just that it will be a mix which is why it is called an inter-faith wedding so that both faiths are presented in the ceremony in some way.

holyguacamole79 · July 2014

Do you have a devotion to the Blessed Mother? If so, then you can place flowers at her feet. But I'd only do that if it is a part of your faith; please don't do it just to include something Catholic.

southernbelle0915 · July 2014

bananasplit472001 said:

PDKH said:

I think making a ceremony not religious but only "religiously symbolic" is an easy way to offend not just half of your guests, but all of them.

If you aren't religious, why not just have a secular ceremony?

I mean technically it will not be religious. We actually already discussed that it will be "religiously symbolic" and they are not offended. Technically it will be a secular ceremony but we will have kippahs, a chuppah and a ketubah which is why it is just symbolic from the jewish side. The catholic side is more difficult. We can't have communion or a mass so what else is there?

New Testament readings, a soloist singing/playing a religious hymn..

Marzipan13 · July 2014

Just realize that you'll need a marriage validation in the Catholic church if you do this, since you aren't getting married in the church with a priest.

Perhaps include some petitions? (I'm not entirely sure if this is only a Catholic thing.) Write up some petitions (or use suggestions found online) and pray them at the wedding? Other than that, your best bet is New Testament readings & Catholic hymns.

CMGragain · July 2014

I don't understand the purpose of incorporating your Catholic religion into the ceremony, since the Catholic Church won't recognize the validity of your marriage. You will not be able to receive communion again after you are married outside the church. A marriage is either Catholic, or it isn't. There is no middle ground.

bananasplit472001 · July 2014

CMGragain said:

I don't understand the purpose of incorporating your Catholic religion into the ceremony, since the Catholic Church won't recognize the validity of your marriage. You will not be able to receive communion again after you are married outside the church. A marriage is either Catholic, or it isn't. There is no middle ground.

Uh what? It is an inter-faith ceremony and it is important to both of us to incorporate our religious customs and tradition. I do not care if it is recognized in the catholic church or not. I was raised catholic and because I decided to marry someone jewish i'm not catholic anymore? Yes, my marriage won't be recognized in the catholic church but that does not make ME any less catholic and wanting to pass traditions and customs onto my family. I understand they will not be catholic or jewish but that does not mean we can't teach them about our religions. It also does not mean we can't have a symbolically religious ceremony.

Marzipan13 · July 2014

bananasplit472001 said: CMGragain said: I don't understand the purpose of incorporating your Catholic religion into the ceremony, since the Catholic Church won't recognize the validity of your marriage. You will not be able to receive communion again after you are married outside the church. A marriage is either Catholic, or it isn't. There is no middle ground.

Uh what? It is an inter-faith ceremony and it is important to both of us to incorporate our religious customs and tradition. I do not care if it is recognized in the catholic church or not. I was raised catholic and because I decided to marry someone jewish i'm not catholic anymore? Yes, my marriage won't be recognized in the catholic church but that does not make ME any less catholic and wanting to pass traditions and customs onto my family. I understand they will not be catholic or jewish but that does not mean we can't teach them about our religions. It also does not mean we can't have a symbolically religious ceremony. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
etf: boxes

You realize you can still marry a Jewish person in the Catholic church, right? This is done all the time. You may not care if the church doesn't recognize your marriage, but this will affect you if you are asked to be a Catholic godparent or Confirmation sponsor - you can't be (unless you get a validation). @CMGragain is right - you will not be able to receive Communion, because your marriage did not happen according to Canon Law.

CMGragain · July 2014

If you mean that you wish to pass on information about the Christian religion (which includes Catholicism), that is fine. The Catholic Church has very strict rules about marriage, and you will not be able to be a practicing Catholic unless you are married in a Catholic Church. Did you know this? You need to talk to your priest. Jewish and Catholic couples can be married in the church if proper arrangements are made and it won't affect your status as a Catholic.

daria24 · July 2014

I have seen secular weddings include the "sign of peace" as a nod to the bride's Catholic roots.

bananasplit472001 · July 2014

Yes, I did know that jewish and catholic people can be married in the church. What we want is just to pass on information to our children since we have mutually decided that we will raise our children non-religious. We will celebrate both holidays but that's it. No hebrew/CCD, bar/bat mitzvah, christening, naming ceremonies etc. It will be strictly informational as we have decide not to convert. So Yes I understand receiving communion will not be an option but there is no reason why we can't have an inter-faith ceremony with just the customs.

southernbelle0915 · July 2014

bananasplit472001 said:

Yes, I did know that jewish and catholic people can be married in the church. What we want is just to pass on information to our children since we have mutually decided that we will raise our children non-religious. We will celebrate both holidays but that's it. No hebrew/CCD, bar/bat mitzvah, christening, naming ceremonies etc. It will be strictly informational as we have decide not to convert. So Yes I understand receiving communion will not be an option but there is no reason why we can't have an inter-faith ceremony with just the customs.

Yes - if this is what you're planning on doing, then you don't have to worry about not being able to be practicing Catholic anymore. Do think about the godparent and confirmation sponsor aspects that @Marzipan13 mentioned if that's important to you.

bananasplit472001 · July 2014

Marzipan13 said:

bananasplit472001 said:

CMGragain said:

I don't understand the purpose of incorporating your Catholic religion into the ceremony, since the Catholic Church won't recognize the validity of your marriage. You will not be able to receive communion again after you are married outside the church. A marriage is either Catholic, or it isn't. There is no middle ground.

Uh what? It is an inter-faith ceremony and it is important to both of us to incorporate our religious customs and tradition. I do not care if it is recognized in the catholic church or not. I was raised catholic and because I decided to marry someone jewish i'm not catholic anymore? Yes, my marriage won't be recognized in the catholic church but that does not make ME any less catholic and wanting to pass traditions and customs onto my family. I understand they will not be catholic or jewish but that does not mean we can't teach them about our religions. It also does not mean we can't have a symbolically religious ceremony.

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etf: boxes

You realize you can still marry a Jewish person in the Catholic church, right? This is done all the time. You may not care if the church doesn't recognize your marriage, but this will affect you if you are asked to be a Catholic godparent or Confirmation sponsor - you can't be (unless you get a validation). @CMGragain is right - you will not be able to receive Communion, because your marriage did not happen according to Canon Law. My FI will not marry in the Catholic Church because he is Jewish. I am respecting that wish and instead we are getting married in a non-denominational chapel. We have agreed on a minister that primarily married catholic/jewish inter-faith couples because neither rabbi, priest deacon etc in our congregations would marry us.

bananasplit472001 · July 2014

southernbelle0915 said:

bananasplit472001 said:

Yes, I did know that jewish and catholic people can be married in the church. What we want is just to pass on information to our children since we have mutually decided that we will raise our children non-religious. We will celebrate both holidays but that's it. No hebrew/CCD, bar/bat mitzvah, christening, naming ceremonies etc. It will be strictly informational as we have decide not to convert. So Yes I understand receiving communion will not be an option but there is no reason why we can't have an inter-faith ceremony with just the customs.

Yes - if this is what you're planning on doing, then you don't have to worry about not being able to be practicing Catholic anymore. Do think about the godparent and confirmation sponsor aspects that @Marzipan13 mentioned if that's important to you.

The sponsorship or godparent will not be important as I recongize I cannot be a practicing catholic anymore. We have decide to both give up our practicing religion (they were liberal to begin with) and lead a non-religious life. We will teach our children about our families religions and they will then be able to decide what path they want to take. Even though we will no longer be practicing our religion we are given our children the freedom to choose whatever one that they want.

bananasplit472001 · July 2014

flantastic said:

bananasplit472001 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

bananasplit472001 said:

Yes, I did know that jewish and catholic people can be married in the church. What we want is just to pass on information to our children since we have mutually decided that we will raise our children non-religious. We will celebrate both holidays but that's it. No hebrew/CCD, bar/bat mitzvah, christening, naming ceremonies etc. It will be strictly informational as we have decide not to convert. So Yes I understand receiving communion will not be an option but there is no reason why we can't have an inter-faith ceremony with just the customs.

Yes - if this is what you're planning on doing, then you don't have to worry about not being able to be practicing Catholic anymore. Do think about the godparent and confirmation sponsor aspects that @Marzipan13 mentioned if that's important to you.

The sponsorship or godparent will not be important as I recongize I cannot be a practicing catholic anymore. We have decide to both give up our practicing religion (they were liberal to begin with) and lead a non-religious life. We will teach our children about our families religions and they will then be able to decide what path they want to take. Even though we will no longer be practicing our religion we are given our children the freedom to choose whatever one that they want.

Part of agreeing to marry in the Catholic Church includes the Catholic spouse promising to raise the kids in the Catholic Church and the non-Catholic spouse promising not to interfere. It sounds like you have no intention of doing those things either and are not worried.
However, if you try to "Catholicize" your secular ceremony, people who take seriously the responsibilities of marrying as a Catholic may be offended. Just saying. It might happen.

We are trying to arrange an inter-faith ceremony. Our goal is to have traditions and customs. Inter-faith ceremonies do exist and there are plenty examples that I have found. I just wanted to see if anyone had been through this before and what their solution was. We are more worried about favoring one religion and not "catholicizing" our ceremony. For example my grandmother is devoutly catholic and will most certainly be offended by anything we do. She, and others would prefer we do not have an interfaith ceremony or one of us converts. We just want to honor both of our religions without impeding on catholic or jewish law. It is a choice we have made and we are ok with giving up our religious status and raising our children non-religious

holyguacamole79 · July 2014

bananasplit472001 said:

flantastic said:

bananasplit472001 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

bananasplit472001 said:

Yes, I did know that jewish and catholic people can be married in the church. What we want is just to pass on information to our children since we have mutually decided that we will raise our children non-religious. We will celebrate both holidays but that's it. No hebrew/CCD, bar/bat mitzvah, christening, naming ceremonies etc. It will be strictly informational as we have decide not to convert. So Yes I understand receiving communion will not be an option but there is no reason why we can't have an inter-faith ceremony with just the customs.

Yes - if this is what you're planning on doing, then you don't have to worry about not being able to be practicing Catholic anymore. Do think about the godparent and confirmation sponsor aspects that @Marzipan13 mentioned if that's important to you.

The sponsorship or godparent will not be important as I recongize I cannot be a practicing catholic anymore. We have decide to both give up our practicing religion (they were liberal to begin with) and lead a non-religious life. We will teach our children about our families religions and they will then be able to decide what path they want to take. Even though we will no longer be practicing our religion we are given our children the freedom to choose whatever one that they want.

Part of agreeing to marry in the Catholic Church includes the Catholic spouse promising to raise the kids in the Catholic Church and the non-Catholic spouse promising not to interfere. It sounds like you have no intention of doing those things either and are not worried.
However, if you try to "Catholicize" your secular ceremony, people who take seriously the responsibilities of marrying as a Catholic may be offended. Just saying. It might happen.

We are trying to arrange an inter-faith ceremony. Our goal is to have traditions and customs. Inter-faith ceremonies do exist and there are plenty examples that I have found. I just wanted to see if anyone had been through this before and what their solution was. We are more worried about favoring one religion and not "catholicizing" our ceremony. For example my grandmother is devoutly catholic and will most certainly be offended by anything we do. She, and others would prefer we do not have an interfaith ceremony or one of us converts. We just want to honor both of our religions without impeding on catholic or jewish law. It is a choice we have made and we are ok with giving up our religious status and raising our children non-religious

This is one of those cases where the wedding needs to be about you & your FI, not about your relatives. If the Catholic faith is no longer a part of your life, then it isn't appropriate to include something Catholic just to appease your grandmother.

manateehugger · July 2014

You have no intentions of continuing to practice either faith it sounds like; why do you want the traditions based in these faiths as part of your ceremony?

Stop trying to please grandma and have a ceremony that honors YOUR beliefs - which it sounds like is non-religious, but spiritual (total guess). Why not just include prayers and/or hymns that reflects both of your beliefs instead of trying to cherry pick between the two faiths?

I'm neither Catholic nor Jewish, but I find the idea of throwing in random traditions without wanting to include the faith or canon law behind them nonsensical and potentially offensive. What are strong religious and faith-driven traditions then become props for your ceremony.

Marzipan13 · July 2014

bananasplit472001 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

bananasplit472001 said:

Yes, I did know that jewish and catholic people can be married in the church. What we want is just to pass on information to our children since we have mutually decided that we will raise our children non-religious. We will celebrate both holidays but that's it. No hebrew/CCD, bar/bat mitzvah, christening, naming ceremonies etc. It will be strictly informational as we have decide not to convert. So Yes I understand receiving communion will not be an option but there is no reason why we can't have an inter-faith ceremony with just the customs.

Yes - if this is what you're planning on doing, then you don't have to worry about not being able to be practicing Catholic anymore. Do think about the godparent and confirmation sponsor aspects that @Marzipan13 mentioned if that's important to you.

The sponsorship or godparent will not be important as I recongize I cannot be a practicing catholic anymore. We have decide to both give up our practicing religion (they were liberal to begin with) and lead a non-religious life. We will teach our children about our families religions and they will then be able to decide what path they want to take. Even though we will no longer be practicing our religion we are given our children the freedom to choose whatever one that they want.

"We are going to continue these practices after the wedding. It's just that we have different religions and neither or us want to convert. We both feel strong about continuing our individual religions into our future family. It's just that it will be a mix which is why it is called an inter-faith wedding so that both faiths are presented in the ceremony in some way."

...So which one is it? I understand trying to incorporate the culture of both faiths, but your children aren't going to know what kind of ceremony you had. You can still explain aspects of both faiths to your children without putting them in your wedding. If your child(ren) decide to be Catholic or Jewish and (potentially) get married in either religion, it will be different than your example anyhow.

I agree with choosing "Christian" elements, and not strictly Catholic ones.

etf: boxes

southernbelle0915 · July 2014

bananasplit472001 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

bananasplit472001 said:

Yes, I did know that jewish and catholic people can be married in the church. What we want is just to pass on information to our children since we have mutually decided that we will raise our children non-religious. We will celebrate both holidays but that's it. No hebrew/CCD, bar/bat mitzvah, christening, naming ceremonies etc. It will be strictly informational as we have decide not to convert. So Yes I understand receiving communion will not be an option but there is no reason why we can't have an inter-faith ceremony with just the customs.

Yes - if this is what you're planning on doing, then you don't have to worry about not being able to be practicing Catholic anymore. Do think about the godparent and confirmation sponsor aspects that @Marzipan13 mentioned if that's important to you.

The sponsorship or godparent will not be important as I recongize I cannot be a practicing catholic anymore. We have decide to both give up our practicing religion (they were liberal to begin with) and lead a non-religious life. We will teach our children about our families religions and they will then be able to decide what path they want to take. Even though we will no longer be practicing our religion we are given our children the freedom to choose whatever one that they want.

I respect that.

bananasplit472001 · July 2014

Marzipan13 said:

bananasplit472001 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

bananasplit472001 said:

Yes, I did know that jewish and catholic people can be married in the church. What we want is just to pass on information to our children since we have mutually decided that we will raise our children non-religious. We will celebrate both holidays but that's it. No hebrew/CCD, bar/bat mitzvah, christening, naming ceremonies etc. It will be strictly informational as we have decide not to convert. So Yes I understand receiving communion will not be an option but there is no reason why we can't have an inter-faith ceremony with just the customs.

Yes - if this is what you're planning on doing, then you don't have to worry about not being able to be practicing Catholic anymore. Do think about the godparent and confirmation sponsor aspects that @Marzipan13 mentioned if that's important to you.

The sponsorship or godparent will not be important as I recongize I cannot be a practicing catholic anymore. We have decide to both give up our practicing religion (they were liberal to begin with) and lead a non-religious life. We will teach our children about our families religions and they will then be able to decide what path they want to take. Even though we will no longer be practicing our religion we are given our children the freedom to choose whatever one that they want.

"We are going to continue these practices after the wedding. It's just that we have different religions and neither or us want to convert. We both feel strong about continuing our individual religions into our future family. It's just that it will be a mix which is why it is called an inter-faith wedding so that both faiths are presented in the ceremony in some way."

...So which one is it? I understand trying to incorporate the culture of both faiths, but your children aren't going to know what kind of ceremony you had. You can still explain aspects of both faiths to your children without putting them in your wedding. If your child(ren) decide to be Catholic or Jewish and (potentially) get married in either religion, it will be different than your example anyhow.

I agree with choosing "Christian" elements, and not strictly Catholic ones.

etf: boxes

We are going to give up going to church and synagogue so that we can lead a non-religious life because our marriage is not accepted within the religions. Maybe "practicing" was not the right word here. What I mean by "practicing" is that we will observe all of the holidays and go along with those traditions. Even though we will not be "practicing" religious people in the eyes of both religions. We still want to keep some aspect of our religion even though in the eyes of our religions we have lost them. We want to teach our children both of our religions instead of bringing them up with one religion. Incorporating traditions into our ceremony is important to us as we are still religious people we are just not seen as religious in the eyes of the religion because we are marrying outside of the faith. It's more of an appriciation for our religions.

bananasplit472001 · July 2014

sarahbear31 said:

bananasplit472001 said:

flantastic said:

bananasplit472001 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

bananasplit472001 said:

Yes, I did know that jewish and catholic people can be married in the church. What we want is just to pass on information to our children since we have mutually decided that we will raise our children non-religious. We will celebrate both holidays but that's it. No hebrew/CCD, bar/bat mitzvah, christening, naming ceremonies etc. It will be strictly informational as we have decide not to convert. So Yes I understand receiving communion will not be an option but there is no reason why we can't have an inter-faith ceremony with just the customs.

Yes - if this is what you're planning on doing, then you don't have to worry about not being able to be practicing Catholic anymore. Do think about the godparent and confirmation sponsor aspects that @Marzipan13 mentioned if that's important to you.

The sponsorship or godparent will not be important as I recongize I cannot be a practicing catholic anymore. We have decide to both give up our practicing religion (they were liberal to begin with) and lead a non-religious life. We will teach our children about our families religions and they will then be able to decide what path they want to take. Even though we will no longer be practicing our religion we are given our children the freedom to choose whatever one that they want.

Part of agreeing to marry in the Catholic Church includes the Catholic spouse promising to raise the kids in the Catholic Church and the non-Catholic spouse promising not to interfere. It sounds like you have no intention of doing those things either and are not worried.
However, if you try to "Catholicize" your secular ceremony, people who take seriously the responsibilities of marrying as a Catholic may be offended. Just saying. It might happen.

We are trying to arrange an inter-faith ceremony. Our goal is to have traditions and customs. Inter-faith ceremonies do exist and there are plenty examples that I have found. I just wanted to see if anyone had been through this before and what their solution was. We are more worried about favoring one religion and not "catholicizing" our ceremony. For example my grandmother is devoutly catholic and will most certainly be offended by anything we do. She, and others would prefer we do not have an interfaith ceremony or one of us converts. We just want to honor both of our religions without impeding on catholic or jewish law. It is a choice we have made and we are ok with giving up our religious status and raising our children non-religious

This is one of those cases where the wedding needs to be about you & your FI, not about your relatives. If the Catholic faith is no longer a part of your life, then it isn't appropriate to include something Catholic just to appease your grandmother.

Correct. We are making the wedding about us. If it was up to anyone else someone would have converted and we did not. The catholic faith is part of my life it just will not be recognized as such from the eyes of the catholic church because I am choosing to marrying outside of the church and without recognition for respect of my future husband.

bananasplit472001 · July 2014

PDKH said:

You have no intentions of continuing to practice either faith it sounds like; why do you want the traditions based in these faiths as part of your ceremony?

Stop trying to please grandma and have a ceremony that honors YOUR beliefs - which it sounds like is non-religious, but spiritual (total guess). Why not just include prayers and/or hymns that reflects both of your beliefs instead of trying to cherry pick between the two faiths?

I'm neither Catholic nor Jewish, but I find the idea of throwing in random traditions without wanting to include the faith or canon law behind them nonsensical and potentially offensive. What are strong religious and faith-driven traditions then become props for your ceremony.

Not exactly. We will be continuing the traditions in the form of holidays and observances because that's all we can do in the eyes of the church. We cannot follow law as it would be offensive to each of us. We are not randomly throwing traditions into it. Neither of us has gotten married before or been to a religious wedding and all we are doing is looking for some insight into Inter-faith wedding ceremonies. Nothing will become props for our ceremony. We feel deeply about our religions separately and have chosen to respect each other religions by agreeing to leave them after our wedding. Which is why we are not trying to have our marriage recognized in the catholic church or the jewish faith. But we do want to respect our religions in our ceremony as we will continue to celebrate them in our own home by the way of holidays and observances (ie: fasting, lent).

Jen4948 · July 2014

bananasplit472001 said:

PDKH said:

You have no intentions of continuing to practice either faith it sounds like; why do you want the traditions based in these faiths as part of your ceremony?

Stop trying to please grandma and have a ceremony that honors YOUR beliefs - which it sounds like is non-religious, but spiritual (total guess). Why not just include prayers and/or hymns that reflects both of your beliefs instead of trying to cherry pick between the two faiths?

I'm neither Catholic nor Jewish, but I find the idea of throwing in random traditions without wanting to include the faith or canon law behind them nonsensical and potentially offensive. What are strong religious and faith-driven traditions then become props for your ceremony.

Not exactly. We will be continuing the traditions in the form of holidays and observances because that's all we can do in the eyes of the church. We cannot follow law as it would be offensive to each of us. We are not randomly throwing traditions into it. Neither of us has gotten married before or been to a religious wedding and all we are doing is looking for some insight into Inter-faith wedding ceremonies. Nothing will become props for our ceremony. We feel deeply about our religions separately and have chosen to respect each other religions by agreeing to leave them after our wedding. Which is why we are not trying to have our marriage recognized in the catholic church or the jewish faith. But we do want to respect our religions in our ceremony as we will continue to celebrate them in our own home by the way of holidays and observances (ie: fasting, lent).

Those acts have specific religious connotations, and you are in fact not respecting your respective religions by performing them if you are not a believer.

artbyallie · July 2014

Jen4948 said:

bananasplit472001 said:

PDKH said:

You have no intentions of continuing to practice either faith it sounds like; why do you want the traditions based in these faiths as part of your ceremony?

Stop trying to please grandma and have a ceremony that honors YOUR beliefs - which it sounds like is non-religious, but spiritual (total guess). Why not just include prayers and/or hymns that reflects both of your beliefs instead of trying to cherry pick between the two faiths?

I'm neither Catholic nor Jewish, but I find the idea of throwing in random traditions without wanting to include the faith or canon law behind them nonsensical and potentially offensive. What are strong religious and faith-driven traditions then become props for your ceremony.

Not exactly. We will be continuing the traditions in the form of holidays and observances because that's all we can do in the eyes of the church. We cannot follow law as it would be offensive to each of us. We are not randomly throwing traditions into it. Neither of us has gotten married before or been to a religious wedding and all we are doing is looking for some insight into Inter-faith wedding ceremonies. Nothing will become props for our ceremony. We feel deeply about our religions separately and have chosen to respect each other religions by agreeing to leave them after our wedding. Which is why we are not trying to have our marriage recognized in the catholic church or the jewish faith. But we do want to respect our religions in our ceremony as we will continue to celebrate them in our own home by the way of holidays and observances (ie: fasting, lent).

Those acts have specific religious connotations, and you are in fact not respecting your respective religions by performing them if you are not a believer.

I agree with this. None of what you're doing shows any respect for religion. What would be respectful if neither of you hold those beliefs any longer would be to have an entirely secular ceremony.

bananasplit472001 · July 2014

artbyallie said:

Jen4948 said:

bananasplit472001 said:

PDKH said:

You have no intentions of continuing to practice either faith it sounds like; why do you want the traditions based in these faiths as part of your ceremony?

Stop trying to please grandma and have a ceremony that honors YOUR beliefs - which it sounds like is non-religious, but spiritual (total guess). Why not just include prayers and/or hymns that reflects both of your beliefs instead of trying to cherry pick between the two faiths?

I'm neither Catholic nor Jewish, but I find the idea of throwing in random traditions without wanting to include the faith or canon law behind them nonsensical and potentially offensive. What are strong religious and faith-driven traditions then become props for your ceremony.

Not exactly. We will be continuing the traditions in the form of holidays and observances because that's all we can do in the eyes of the church. We cannot follow law as it would be offensive to each of us. We are not randomly throwing traditions into it. Neither of us has gotten married before or been to a religious wedding and all we are doing is looking for some insight into Inter-faith wedding ceremonies. Nothing will become props for our ceremony. We feel deeply about our religions separately and have chosen to respect each other religions by agreeing to leave them after our wedding. Which is why we are not trying to have our marriage recognized in the catholic church or the jewish faith. But we do want to respect our religions in our ceremony as we will continue to celebrate them in our own home by the way of holidays and observances (ie: fasting, lent).

Those acts have specific religious connotations, and you are in fact not respecting your respective religions by performing them if you are not a believer.

I agree with this. None of what you're doing shows any respect for religion. What would be respectful if neither of you hold those beliefs any longer would be to have an entirely secular ceremony.

We do hold those beliefs which is why we want an inter-faith ceremony We cans till have the beliefs even if we are married to each other. What you are saying makes no sense. Just because our religions do not recognize our marriage doesn't mean we still can't recognize our religions that we were born into I'd like to get back to my original question and not get side-tracked by how anyone thinks i'm respecting religion.

Jen4948 · July 2014

bananasplit472001 said:

artbyallie said:

Jen4948 said:

bananasplit472001 said:

PDKH said:

You have no intentions of continuing to practice either faith it sounds like; why do you want the traditions based in these faiths as part of your ceremony?

Stop trying to please grandma and have a ceremony that honors YOUR beliefs - which it sounds like is non-religious, but spiritual (total guess). Why not just include prayers and/or hymns that reflects both of your beliefs instead of trying to cherry pick between the two faiths?

I'm neither Catholic nor Jewish, but I find the idea of throwing in random traditions without wanting to include the faith or canon law behind them nonsensical and potentially offensive. What are strong religious and faith-driven traditions then become props for your ceremony.

Not exactly. We will be continuing the traditions in the form of holidays and observances because that's all we can do in the eyes of the church. We cannot follow law as it would be offensive to each of us. We are not randomly throwing traditions into it. Neither of us has gotten married before or been to a religious wedding and all we are doing is looking for some insight into Inter-faith wedding ceremonies. Nothing will become props for our ceremony. We feel deeply about our religions separately and have chosen to respect each other religions by agreeing to leave them after our wedding. Which is why we are not trying to have our marriage recognized in the catholic church or the jewish faith. But we do want to respect our religions in our ceremony as we will continue to celebrate them in our own home by the way of holidays and observances (ie: fasting, lent).

Those acts have specific religious connotations, and you are in fact not respecting your respective religions by performing them if you are not a believer.

I agree with this. None of what you're doing shows any respect for religion. What would be respectful if neither of you hold those beliefs any longer would be to have an entirely secular ceremony.

We do hold those beliefs which is why we want an inter-faith ceremony We cans till have the beliefs even if we are married to each other. What you are saying makes no sense. Just because our religions do not recognize our marriage doesn't mean we still can't recognize our religions that we were born into I'd like to get back to my original question and not get side-tracked by how anyone thinks i'm respecting religion.

Can anyone make sense of this "logic" ?

By the way, bananasplit, it's not up to you to decide how anyone should post in any discussion in this forum-even if you started the thread.

Catholic and Jewish interfaith ceremony ideas

Re: Catholic and Jewish interfaith ceremony ideas

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