Wedding Etiquette Forum

Shifting from open bar to cash bar

Before people start clutching their pearls and ranting at me, I'm not talking about moving from open bar to cash bar during the reception.

My wedding is at a mansion where we have the entire grounds, including the hotel part, reserved for the weekend. There is a bar on site that will supply the the alcohol for the reception and the rehearsal dinner (if we choose to have it there), but the bar is not public. Essentially, we pay the labor fee to "open" the bar and then the venue has the typical cost packages (open, consumption, and cash).

We are having an open bar for the whole reception (5 hours, or however long the DJ plays). My question is how etiquette would govern keeping the bar open after the reception is over but switching over to cash bar. So - the DJ and photo booth would be gone, we will have told everyone thank you and goodnight, but we want guests to have the option to socialize at the bar. 

I know people have informal after parties at separate hotels after weddings, where providing alcohol is not necessary, but this situation seems a little stickier since everything would be taking place in the same place. Any thoughts? Suggestions?

Re: Shifting from open bar to cash bar

  • I see what you're saying in that it's essentially a hotel bar, so the reception ends and the bar ceases to be hosted... I get it.

    But I'm on the fence... If you've got the whole place rented out, it would seem like you switched from open to cash (even though the reception ended). I'm assuming it's an evening reception ending at 11pm or so? Do you have a big party crowd?
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  • I would have an informal closing of the bar as the reception ends.  Do a "last call" and then ask the bartender to close for the period of time while the DJ is packing up and the photo booth is disassembled.  Remove any signage from the bar associated with the wedding before the bar reopens.

    But I do think southernbelle is on to something.  Do you think you guests would want to continue to socialize at the bar after the wedding ended?  If your reception is ending late enough, I wouldn't assume it's necessary to continue a cash bar.
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  • @southernbelle0915 yes - I have a lot of younger, college-age cousins. Plus FI and I met in college, so we have a big crowd of friends from that college, all of whom know each other. 

    I'm partly concerned about the wedding ending at 11, and then those younger people (and to be honest, probably all my aunts and uncles who also like to party) will want to leave the hotel to go to a bar or something like that. Which would be fine except that I don't want anyone driving and there aren't a lot of cabs in this small town.

    I thought about having an announcement at the end of the reception that people can go back to their rooms and change while the staff "breaks down" the room, and then reopening the room after a break.
  • @JaxInBlue I get your point. I hope I'm not coming across as "everyone will want to party all night because I'm getting married!" I just have a lot of younger people attending, and my family really likes to have a good time. Having an hour or so for people to continue chatting and hanging out would be well-received with my crowd.
  • @Junebug2015 If the difference is an hour (from 11:00 to midnight or whatever), would it possible to just leave the open bar open?  Does that change your price per person for the open bar?  It seems like that might be the least complex way to handle things.  Then, at midnight, the bar can close outright and should people really want to continue to drink/hang out, I wouldn't feel badly leaving those arrangements up to them.
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  • @southernbelle0915 yes - I have a lot of younger, college-age cousins. Plus FI and I met in college, so we have a big crowd of friends from that college, all of whom know each other. 

    I'm partly concerned about the wedding ending at 11, and then those younger people (and to be honest, probably all my aunts and uncles who also like to party) will want to leave the hotel to go to a bar or something like that. Which would be fine except that I don't want anyone driving and there aren't a lot of cabs in this small town.

    I thought about having an announcement at the end of the reception that people can go back to their rooms and change while the staff "breaks down" the room, and then reopening the room after a break.
    I understand the concern about not wanting people to drive. I think it's nice that you're trying to come up with an option where they can have a good time but not leave the premises of the hotel. They are adults, though. And if they decide to go out, I would hope that they're adult enough to designate a driver.

    If you do this, I liked @scribe95's suggestion of putting up a sign to indicate what time the reception (and, thus the hosted bar) ends and @JaxInBlue's suggestion of having a "last call", closing for 15 minutes or so while they switch over from Reception to "normal hotel bar". I wouldn't make an announcement about it or tell people they can go back to their rooms. I guarantee if you tell "the party boy/girl" of your college friends that the hotel bar will open after the reception, word will spread.
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  • @southernbelle0915 yes - I have a lot of younger, college-age cousins. Plus FI and I met in college, so we have a big crowd of friends from that college, all of whom know each other. 

    I'm partly concerned about the wedding ending at 11, and then those younger people (and to be honest, probably all my aunts and uncles who also like to party) will want to leave the hotel to go to a bar or something like that. Which would be fine except that I don't want anyone driving and there aren't a lot of cabs in this small town.

    I thought about having an announcement at the end of the reception that people can go back to their rooms and change while the staff "breaks down" the room, and then reopening the room after a break.
    We did something after my cousin's wedding. My aunts and uncles always get deli platters for after weddings, and her reception room at the hotel let us use the room after the event. The bar went to cash and my aunts and uncles brought in the coolers and sandwich meat and we had an informal after party. So if your family is anything like mine, I certainly get it.

    But the reception was very clearly over when it happened. I like the idea of a last call and closing the bar.
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  • Bubblegum5586Bubblegum5586 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited July 2014
    I get it too. WIth our wedding (and all wedding's in H's fam) there is always an after party. Our wedding ended at 11 and the after party at the hotel went to 4am. I also didn't want people to drive but feel they can continue to have fun. I had a shuttle from our reception to the hotel and then we just had beers and wine in the hotel suite along with deli platters as well.

    I like the idea of having the "last call" at the end of the reception with the bar closing while everything get's wrapped up. Then reopening shortly after as the hotel bar. I would also tell some of your cousins and college friends and have it spread word of mouth.

    Sounds like a fun time! Good luck!
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  • If it was clear the reception was over, as in the bar had a last call, the DJ was packing up, and the bride and groom had left the reception, I would definitely not expect any future drinks to be hosted once the bar reopened. Those are pretty clear "end of reception" markers, especially with the bar closing and reopening.
  • If it was clear the reception was over, as in the bar had a last call, the DJ was packing up, and the bride and groom had left the reception, I would definitely not expect any future drinks to be hosted once the bar reopened. Those are pretty clear "end of reception" markers, especially with the bar closing and reopening.
    I'm with this. 
  • Thanks for the input all! It's so helpful to hear opinions on this.
  • I don't think you really need to do anything at all. This is fairly common and I don't think your guests will be expecting hosted drinks after your reception is obviously over. This is how it went down at my first wedding. The last few stragglers who hung out after the lights were up and the DJ was long gone realized they were no longer at a wedding reception and were now on their own in a public place.

    Same thing happens all the time where I work, only most times it's the fact that the hosts have hit their budget and the event moves to cash bar mid-event. That's a little trickier but not what your proposing. I think you'll be fine. Even drunk people can figure out when the party is over and the after party has begun.
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