Different Bouquet for MOH

perdonami · July 2014

How do you guys feel about giving a small bouquet for the MOH to hold at the ceremony while the other two bridesmaids have wrist corsages of the same color/style?

FI says it should be fine but I feel like I am placing emphasis on one of my bridal party attendants and not treating them all the same. Would this come off as rude if you were in the bridal party?

Partly why I want to do this is to cut costs and if you are familiar with my prior posts, I am not all that happy with the other two BMs for certain reasons. Despite all of that though, there is no reason to be blatantly rude to anyone in the bridal party. I just want my cousin/MOH to have the bouquet I originally imagined her holding and shared with her.

JCbride2015 · July 2014

perdonami said:

How do you guys feel about giving a small bouquet for the MOH to hold at the ceremony while the other two bridesmaids have wrist corsages of the same color/style?

FI says it should be fine but I feel like I am placing emphasis on of my bridal party attendants and not treating them all the same. Would this come off as rude if you were in the bridal party?

Partly why I want to do this is to cut costs and if you are familiar with my prior posts, I am not all that happy with the other two BMs for certain reasons. Despite all of that though, there no reason to be blatantly rude to anyone in the bridal party. I just want my cousin/MOH to have the bouquet I originally imagined her holding and shared with her.

I would have said it was fine until I read the bolded. If there's even the slightest chance of your other BMs taking it as a slight, just don't do it.

slothiegal · July 2014

Oof. Like JC, I was on board until the bolded. Please don't do this.

AddieCake · July 2014

Count me in about the bolded.

lyndausvi · July 2014

I think you are being ridiculous.

I also hate wrist corsages.

Simply Fated · July 2014

I wouldn't do it just to slight them. If you do that, they may pick up on it and it can cause drama/hurt feelings. It comes across as catty.

Work out your issues before moving forward with anything.

For anyone else considering this... just a sidenote...
In general I don't see anything overly wrong with it, although my friend was a bridesmaid and had to wear a corsage. She's terribly allergic to certain types of metal, but "sucked it up" for the ceremony and pictures, but the second she could, she took it off. There was a horrible rash on her wrist. So a heads up would be nice, so she could have requested/provided a piece of fabric to protect her wrist.

perdonami · July 2014

lyndausvi said:

I think you are being ridiculous.

I also hate wrist corsages.

Why do you hate wrist corsages? I thought they might be better for my aunt and the MOG as they won't have to put a pin through their dress.

SammiNJonni · July 2014

I would have gone along with it until I read you are unhappy with the two you want to give corsages to. I would not do anything to make them feel slighted.

perdonami · July 2014

Simply Fated said:

I wouldn't do it just to slight them. If you do that, they may pick up on it and it can cause drama/hurt feelings. It comes across as catty.

Work out your issues before moving forward with anything.

For anyone else considering this... just a sidenote...
In general I don't see anything overly wrong with it, although my friend was a bridesmaid and had to wear a corsage. She's terribly allergic to certain types of metal, but "sucked it up" for the ceremony and pictures, but the second she could, she took it off. There was a horrible rash on her wrist. So a heads up would be nice, so she could have requested/provided a piece of fabric to protect her wrist.

Well that's why I feel I found myself at a crossroads. I am not trying to slight anyone and I was able to make peace with one of my BM but not able to with the other. I feel like the right thing to do is have everyone wear a wrist corsage or hold a bouquet but no inbetween.

Im leaning toward corsages and besides it frees up more of my finances to buy them a better gift.

Simply Fated · July 2014

perdonami said:

Simply Fated said:

I wouldn't do it just to slight them. If you do that, they may pick up on it and it can cause drama/hurt feelings. It comes across as catty.

Work out your issues before moving forward with anything.

For anyone else considering this... just a sidenote...
In general I don't see anything overly wrong with it, although my friend was a bridesmaid and had to wear a corsage. She's terribly allergic to certain types of metal, but "sucked it up" for the ceremony and pictures, but the second she could, she took it off. There was a horrible rash on her wrist. So a heads up would be nice, so she could have requested/provided a piece of fabric to protect her wrist.

Well that's why I feel I found myself at a crossroads. I am not trying to slight anyone and I was able to make peace with one of my BM but not able to with the other. I feel like the right thing to do is have everyone wear a wrist corsage or hold a bouquet but no inbetween.

Im leaning toward corsages and besides it frees up more of my finances to buy them a better gift.

If that's the case, you should do wrist corsages for everyone. You could maybe use a different color or flower or something for the MOH, if that's an option.

perdonami · July 2014

So, If I said I didn't have any qualms with my other BMs this would be okay? Placing more emphasis on the MOH by providing her with more or better accessories is okay?

IDK it just seems like I am playing favorites any way you choose to look at it. After all, one bridal party attendant shouldn't feel less than or better than another.

lilacck28 · July 2014

perdonami said:
So, If I said I didn't have any qualms with my other BMs this would be okay? Placing more emphasis on the MOH by providing her with more or better accessories is okay?

IDK it just seems like I am playing favorites any way you choose to look at it. After all, one bridal party attendant shouldn't fell less than or better than another.

You already "played favorites" by designating a MOH. That's the definition of the role.... MVP, favorite, closest, etc.

perdonami · July 2014

lilacck28 said:

So, If I said I didn't have any qualms with my other BMs this would be okay? Placing more emphasis on the MOH by providing her with more or better accessories is okay?

IDK it just seems like I am playing favorites any way you choose to look at it. After all, one bridal party attendant shouldn't fell less than or better than another.
You already "played favorites" by designating a MOH. That's the definition of the role.... MVP, favorite, closest, etc

I disagree, whoever I designate as my MOH may feel a slight separation from the rest of the party; But I don't like that idea and think everyone should feel equally involved. And whatever involvement that may be, should also not take away from any of the other ladies in my bridal party.

perdonami · July 2014

.

perdonami · July 2014

the knot didn't allow any mobile access.

AddieCake · July 2014

I'm not a big fan of wrist corsages, either, b/c they remind me of prom.

artbyallie · July 2014

perdonami said:

lyndausvi said:

I think you are being ridiculous.

I also hate wrist corsages.

Why do you hate wrist corsages? I thought they might be better for my aunt and the MOG as they won't have to put a pin through their dress.

This is something you should ask them which they prefer. My DOC chose a pin-on corsage, but IIRC the other women (mothers, grandmothers, aunts) opted for wrist so they wouldn't get crushed hugging people.

Can you not just opt for less expensive bouquets in general? A few stems of in-season flowers shouldn't be all that pricy. IMO corsages look out of place on bridesmaids but it would be even stranger to have one with a bouquet and the others with corsages.

Ndelible · July 2014

OP, have you considered paper bouquets? There are some gorgeous ones on Etsy that are very reasonable. Then you have options with colors and materials that reflect each individual.

indianaalum · July 2014

artbyallie said:

perdonami said:

lyndausvi said:

I think you are being ridiculous.

I also hate wrist corsages.

Why do you hate wrist corsages? I thought they might be better for my aunt and the MOG as they won't have to put a pin through their dress.

This is something you should ask them which they prefer. My DOC chose a pin-on corsage, but IIRC the other women (mothers, grandmothers, aunts) opted for wrist so they wouldn't get crushed hugging people.

Can you not just opt for less expensive bouquets in general? A few stems of in-season flowers shouldn't be all that pricy. IMO corsages look out of place on bridesmaids but it would be even stranger to have one with a bouquet and the others with corsages.

I agree. I have never heard of wrist corsages for a bridesmaid/MOH. I agree that's a litle weird. I think part of the reason people do bouquets is because it seems less awkward when they walk down an aisle holding something (and because it looks nice in pictures.)

It is certainly not an etiquette faux pas or anything, it just seems very awkward to me, as well. If you are deadset on it, I agree with others, it's an "all or none" thing on bouquet vs corsage especially for the bolded reason others have mentioned.

Personally, I would just do bouquets for all 3. You can pick cheaper flowers, or buy some cheap flowers and arrange them yourself at home. It doesn't really have to bust the budget. People have also done things like "brooch" bouquets, if you know anyone who collects those. There are tons of creative ways to keep the budget down.

I also agree with PP. I asked the MOG/MOB if they wanted pin on vs wrist, too. People do have preferences on that

OliveOilsMom · July 2014

Could you buy smaller bouquet's for your BP? Both moms carried small nosegay bouquets instead of having a corsage, at our wedding. That would help you save money. You could have the MOH carry a different flower or same flower in a different color, to distinguish her further from the BMs. But since the size will be similar or the same, it won't look like you are playing favorites.

I also think you should ask the ladies you planned to get corsages for, what they prefer.

doeydo · July 2014

Or, to save money, perhaps they could all carry another item. Such as a candle/lantern:

A purse/clutch:

Parasols or fans:

Paper flowers:

Feathers (please choose cruelty free feathers):

Buttons bouquet:

Fabric bouquet:

Pinwheels:

JCbride2015 · July 2014

I also agree that wrist corsages remind me of prom, and it's nice for the BMs to have something to hold going down the aisle. If budget is the issue and you want real flowers, can you DIY the BM bouquets using simple carnations? They could even hold an all-baby's breath bouquet. Those really are gorgeous.

mysticl · July 2014

perdonami said:

lyndausvi said:

I think you are being ridiculous.

I also hate wrist corsages.

Why do you hate wrist corsages? I thought they might be better for my aunt and the MOG as they won't have to put a pin through their dress.

Your florist can make them so they have the wrist strap and pins so the wearer can decide how she wants to wear it.

NYCMercedes · July 2014

It's nice for BM's to have something to carry so don't have to worry about what to do with their hands.

RebeccaB88 · July 2014

Count me in on wrist corsages being too prom. I'd say just small nosegays for everyone, maybe different or brighter for the MOH. Or have them carry just one stem of something dramatic. Or big fluffy clouds of baby's breath, which is inexpensive.

yogablossom · July 2014

Instead of a corsage, why don't you give the other bridesmaids a single giant flower with a ribbon and call it a day.

mysticl · July 2014

My MOH, BMs, oldest flower girl, and I all carried the same thing. Hand tied, bouquets of roses (all the same color. Mine was the largest, then the MOH's, then the BM's, and finally the flower girl's was like 3 roses.

Ndelible · July 2014

Love the all baby's breath bouquets!

perdonami · July 2014

Wow, lots of awesome suggestions! I've decided that the ladies should all hold something to alleviate any anxiety issues. So no corsages period.. and I am going to ask my aunt and the MOG what they would like to have: pinned or wrist? Maybe even a small bouquet if they prefer. ETA: Swear I tried to use some formatting but the knot has not been cooperating with me lately.

wrigleyville · July 2014

You could have them hold a single flower. I think it looks really pretty.

perdonami · July 2014

I

wrigleyville said:

You could have them hold a single flower. I think it looks really pretty.

I may just do this idea. Maybe a single orchid or rose each.

Different Bouquet for MOH

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