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What went wrong at the wedding

Okay, I have a little time to explain the wedding day, now, since honey is leaving for work.
   I stayed at our hotel the night before the wedding, because I don't have decent air conditioning in our apartment.  I did not want to be sweating off my makeup while I was getting ready. OMG... the mattress was trying to kill me. I only got two hours of sleep. I woke up and was crying because my back was hurting so bad. (I never cry over back pain).  I was contemplating driving back home to our house to sleep in my bed at home, but the drive was too far, and I wouldn't have been able to sleep well, anyway. I managed to get another hour of sleep, before I had to wake up.
  Traffic was a beast, I got stuck behind a tractor going 20 mph in a 45... which made me 10 minutes late for my hair appt. My hair dresser was supposed to do my hair and makeup and my sister's hair.  I asked her several times before the wedding day if she thought she could handle doing both our hair and my makeup, she said yes. I tried to make the appt for earlier, to be on the safe side, and she said it wasn't necessary. 
   My appt was at 10:30... I had to be at the hotel at 1:30 for pictures.  My hairdresser wanted to stop my makeup to do my sisters, and I told her I was worried about the time, and that the photographer and the videographer were waiting for me.  She told me we would be fine, and would be able to get it all done soon. I told her I wanted her to finish my makeup before she started on my sister's hair (and thank God for that!).  She took forever.  I was so late. If my hands weren't shaking like a leaf because I was so late, I would have left and done my makeup myself.She was not done with my hair and makeup until 2:15... and she didn't even do my sister's hair.
    I was infuriated.  My maid of honor could not even get her hair done, and my two bridesmaids got their hair done, as well as my mother and my aunt. So everyone except the closest person to me were made to feel special on my wedding day. My sister looked stunning, anyway, but I knew she wanted her hair up to keep her cool, all day.
  When I talked to my hairdresser and told her, AGAIN, that we were supposed to be AT the hotel which was 30 minutes away AT 1:30, she said, "It's okay: they can't start the party without you." I felt like saying, BIIITCH... I spent $3,200 on a photographer and I have waisted and hour and a half of it at the salon. And just because I am the bride does not give me the license to be rude. (How would she like it if a client were an hour and a half late to a hair appt)
  Needless to say, I was extremely late for pictures, the bridesmaids just went to the venue instead of going to the hotel. We only managed to get a couple of pictures of me in my dress, before my photographer had to leave to shoot the groom, at the venue. She was not able to get a lot of pictures, so we had to do our pictures after dinner. Just as my husband and I were going to greet our guests, the photographer stopped me and told me we had to take pictures because the light was getting really low. It felt like we missed everything, And we were not able to say hello to everyone, until they opened the dance floor at 8pm. (I wish the DJ opened the dance floor before we were done with our dances so our guests could have had fun.) 
    People were leaving early, and I know it was because they thought I was rude. I was just so upset.  I tried to be mindful of my guests, and thanking ALL of them for coming was just not in the cards. I greeted as many people as I could, without hubby, and he did the same without me.  I just started calling people yesterday to thank them for coming, and to apologize for spending so much time in pictures. My ceremony, also, started 5 minutes late. Grumble. I was shaking the whole night. It wasn't until they opened the dance floor and my guests were able to have fun, was I able to relax. I felt like the worst hostess ever. We did extend our dance floor for another hour, because we felt like it was over too soon. And my back held out to through the night... thanks to my dress!  It was like a back brace. I dreaded going back to our hotel.  I had to sleep on the couch while FI slept a little on the bed.

Re: What went wrong at the wedding

  • Oh man, I hope you didn't tip that dang hairdresser. What a nightmare. It sounds like you did the best you could though, especially calling everyone already. Don't beat yourself up!

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  • You need to let that hairdresser know EXACTLY what happened so she doesn't do that to another bride.  She needs to know all of the pictures you missed because of her lack of professionalism.
  • Holy shit. What the hell took her so long!?!?!
  • What a horrible hairdresser! I hope you didn't tip her! I'd also plan to speak with the salon when you get back for a debrief. Then, if you don't hear a lot of groveling and/or refunds, I'd flame them all over the interwebs.
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  • Time for a new hairdresser. She absolutely needs to lose business over this.

    As for the ceremony starting 5 minutes late I wouldn't hold that against you at all.  I consider that to be in the range of watches and clocks are not all set to precisely the same time.  
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  • FiancBFiancB member
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    I'm so sorry about all that, but I think you're really beating yourself up unnecessarily. Ceremony starting 5 minutes late really is not a big deal- it's practically expected. We should certainly all try to start on time but shit happens and people realize that. Now, holding people up for 20+ minutes over something stupid, that's another story.

    We had something similar happen with pictures. We were taking pics outside and it started to storm, so we decided to go ahead and serve dinner a little early and then duck out for more pictures when the rain stopped. Maybe we should've sucked it up but I really don't think anyone minded. We got through dinner and made sure everyone was happily still eating first, then did cake and started up the dancing before doing a few more. We did a receiving line and believe we talked to pretty much everyone after that as well, but we didn't kill ourselves making sure we prostrated ourselves in front of every single person. 

    I know we really hammer being a gracious host into everyone's heads around here and it is really important, but people are understanding too. Things go wrong, they just do. 

    And get thee to yelp about that idiot hairdresser!
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  • edited July 2014
    This hairdresser is a friend of mine- ish. We are not super close, but we talk from time to time..  I have known her for 9 years, and I invited her to our wedding months ago.  She showed up late to the ceremony (and told me she would be late, because she was running behind from my appointment running so late.), but still gave me a card and a gift.  Don't know if I am being petty, but that comment pissed me off, like she was late because of me, and not the other way around.
      At the salon, I was very irritated that she kept telling me we could be even later, and she, still, could do my sister's hair.  I would have missed my wedding if she did my sister's hair!  She should have asked another hairdresser to help her out, and someone should have done my MOH's hair, instead.  I know she is close to my sister, but if you don't have the time to do it... then you don't have the time to do it. Wanting to do it just because you like my sister won't make time stand still. My sister is thinking about going to another hair dresser too. I know I sound ungrateful, considering she gave me a gift, but that hour could have been spent talking to my guests. Instead of having pictures,
  • I'm so sorry to hear that you had such a run of bad luck! I hope you leave your hairdresser some terrible online reviews. I don't think you're being ungrateful at being annoyed at the woman who almost ruined your wedding simply because she gave you a gift. I would be too! I'm pleased to hear that you managed to enjoy at least some of the evening.
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  • She gave you the gift as a friend. She almost made you late to your wedding as a vendor you were paying. Those are two separate things. You can be grateful for the gift and pissed about the time waste.
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