how to include the children

spaznoid · March 2012

My kids' dad isn't a part of their lives but not by anyone's choice. But still, I never considered asking them to DO anythign in the ceremony. They adored their father. He was a wonderful man. I haven't asked any of them yet, but I am thinking about having them walk me down the aisle. I'm giving MYSELF away, none of that old-fashioned BS where someone's giving me to be married. I'm a free (but not cheap

) woman, baby!
Other than that, I don't think the kids will take part in the ceremony. They'll probably all sit down with my parents once the walking is done. If they have any ideas or want to be more involved I', not opposed to it, but so far no one has said anythign... though they're 10, 8, and 6 so I'm not sure it would even cross their minds.

soupy76 · May 2012

we have 6 children between us ranging in age from 21 to 6 we each chose our best friends as our BM and MOH but our children will stand with us as well. We are doing a unity candle for the 2 of us because as important as it is to me that our children are involved it is equally important that we have our "moment" as well. After we do the unity candle we as a family are going to do a sand ceremony hourglass while the song "yours, mine and ours" is played.

Mikesgal419 · May 2012

This is my second and his first, I have 5 children. 4,4,7,7,and11. My 4 year olds are girls and they will both be flower girls, my 7yr olds are boys and they will be walking in front of me as ring bearers. My 11 year old will walk me down the isle and be a Jr. groomsman. I wanted to incorperate them into the ceremony, but I never actually thought about their feelings towards their dad. He and i don't actually speak, so it's easy for me to forget he's there, it won't be the case for them. Should the kids want to be a part of the actual ceremny, I will go from there. There are a ton of good ideas on here. Thank you for posting this question.

vgwrobinson · May 2012

I do not have any children however my FI has a daughter who will be 22 when we get married. We asked her together would she like to be my MOH. She replied excitedly yes. I later spoke with her alone to make sure that she is "truly" ok with the request and she stated yes. My FI and I have decided to give her a special gift (a bracelet or ring) during the reception....We want to make sure that she understands that she has not lost her Dad but gained ANOTHER person who loves her ~

ndmorgan1 · May 2012

Thanks for this topic, my daughter, and my FI's son want to be apart of the service, and we were unsure how to do so. Thanks to all for the suggestions

krhamrick · August 2012

My finance has daughters ages 14 and 16 and I have a 20-year-old son. First, we asked them what part (if any) they wanted to have in the ceremony. The 14-year-old wants to be the flower girl My son is going to give me away/. We included a simple promise at the end of our vows to each other that we would be supportive and caring stepparents. We are also doing a piece after our ring exchange to give symbolic gifts to the kids as members of our new family. We're giving the girls Pandora bracelets with a love knot charm and we're giving my son engraved dog tags. My parents bought additional charms for the girls as a welcome to the family.

We considered a sand ceremony, but our wedding is on a beach that doesn't permit glass of any kind. I tried to find something acrylic but didn't have any success.

I can't believe it's only 12 days away!

sunridge1000 · August 2012

My 12 y.o. daughter is my MOH. FIs two kids (13 and 17) are also both in the wedding party. We're going to incorporate them into the Unity candle ceremony - our moms light the first candles, we light our candle, then the kids light one each off of our candle. We're having a super short ceremony so there wasn't too much drama around this question, we're glad we found this idea w the candles.

shannajeremy · January 2013

I have four children and my fiance has four children as well. We are doing a unity sand at our ceremony. I am using one color, my fiance is using another color and our children will all have the same color. It is very important to us to make sure the kids feel apart of this but its also important to make this mine and my fiances day! Best wishes

[Deleted User] · February 2013

My FH and I have 4 children between the 2 of us. I am thinking that I will have my kids (15 and 13) walk me down the isle. My Dad did it the first time, but thought it would be more fitting if I had the kids do it. His boys I believe will join him by his side as well.

beautifulmama28 · February 2013

my girls (4 of them) plus FI's daughter and the grandbaby girl are flower girls

My handsome boys are all walking me down the aisle

all 4 of them!! (ages 15,13,7&5

sreyes1 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_include-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:bd6be95e-caee-47b7-bf86-a60b9ed7d9cePost:d16bb39d-52f1-4578-814f-2bac273b4a59">Re: how to include the children</a>:
[QUOTE]We both have grown and small children. My FI is a widow and his children are dear to me and mine our to him. We have all talked on what we want and do not want. They know I can never replace their mother and visa-vera with my children. However, all of our children are close and his older son and my daughter even introduce us. This is a happy day for all of us. So we all decided all 9 kids will be in the wedding. We are having a sand ceremony were each of us will vow to be there through all times for one another. Each person will acknowledge and accept this union and the responsibility being a family through the best and worse of times through the sand ceremony. Doing this is not taking any parent or sibling's place; it just to let each other know they except them and want to be apart of their lives. I personally feel honor the children wants to do this and be apart of each others lives and ours. We are already close, so, this just allows it to be said out loud. So, I must agree with many of the others when they say it depends on the situation and child. Congrats and best wishes on your day.
Posted by carmae6[/QUOTE]
I really like this idea! Thank you

sreyes1 · April 2013

My fiance and I have both been married before. I have three childre whose father is not a part of their life anymore and they are super excited to be getting a Daddy. My FI has two sons 16 and 8. The 8yr old seems to enjoy being with us and gets along well with my younger two children. His 16 yr old is kinda withdrawn from my 14 yr old and I feel like he really doesn't care either way about us getting married. I think that the sand ceremony would be nice to do to honor us becoming a family as well as a couple but I don't know that he would want to participate-??

WonderRed · August 2013

My DS is six and a half. He will walk down the aisle with me and then help FI light some candles. We're also doing a family sand ceremony with him. At his age that is going to be plenty for him.

TD2014 · August 2013

My fiancee has a 13yr old and I have an 12 yr old (girl) and 6 yr old (boy). We decided to ask the children how much they wanted to be involved. The two oldest will be our maid of honor and best man. My youngest will carry the rings and also escort me down the isle with my dad.

We have chosen to not do any thing in the actual ceremony with the kids because we feel it is between him and I.

WedReMix13 · September 2013

My son will be the ring bearer and my daughters will be the flower girls. (they are 5,7, and 8)

SuperSweet2014 · September 2013

Our children will be in the wedding (his son as a groomsman and my daughter as the flower girl....he is 21 and she is 7!). But we are doing a sand ceremony as well and are cutting out the unity candle ceremony.

katieg520 · October 2013

My daughter is 9, and she will be what I am calling, the "junior bride." Her dress is coral and she is super excited about it! She will also be included in the unity candle ceremony.

LDay2014 · November 2013

I have two daughters and they will be 6 and 7 when we get married next fall. I was a single mom for about 2 years and they have been on as much of a journey during that time as I have so I felt it very important to have them included. They will walk me down the aisle, which is very symbolic of the three of us making the walk through life together until I met Jason. He is so special because he had to fall in love with not only one person, but three. He has taken on a family, not just a wife. So, they will walk me down the aisle, and during the ceremony we will give them each a silver necklace with a dark topaz pendant (our colours are charcoal and orange). I wanted something they could each have now but also feel comfortable wearing when they are 20 - if they so choose. My oldest (little miss independant) will do a reading of the following

A Family

A family is a place where you can cry and laugh, and be silly, or sad, or angry. Where you can ask for help and tease and yell at each other, and know that you will always be loved.

A family is made up of people who care about you when you are sad, who love you all the time, no matter what, and who share your good times. They don’t expect you to be perfect, but just want you to try to be the best you can be.

A family is a safe place – like a circle, where we learn to like ourselves, where we learn about making good choices, where we learn to think about things before we do them, where we learn to be honest, and to have table manners, and respect for other people, where we are special, where we share ideas, where we listen to them and they listen to us, where we learn the rules of life to prepare ourselves for the world.

The world is a place where anything can happen. If we grow up in a loving family…like our family, we are ready for the world.

hisnikkie · December 2013

I have a son who will be (omg to me) 18 when I am married,the rest will be 15,8, and 7. His will be 10, and 9. We are including them all in the bridal party. At the reception we are (instead of which is often seen at wedding ceremonies) will be using a large glass centerpiece on a table and will have each child and fiance and I fill the glass container with different colored sand for each family member.

shaylagirl · April 2014

This is what I posted in another, similar thread:

When we got married in October, we felt we wanted to include our sons in our ceremony in some fashion.

The Pastor simply made mention that today was as much about joining two lives as it was about joining two families. He then asked our sons to join us at the alter where DH presented my son with a nice watch, and I presented SS with a nice watch.

That was pretty much it. Nothing overblown, nothing really to impede our own commitment to one another, but as a way to acknowledge that this was a day to celebrate making our two families one.

It was kind of cute; when I gave SS his watch (he was 11), he looked up and said "Is this really mine? I can keep it? THANKS!"

mrsalaskey · July 2014

I have 3 children from a previous marriage ( this is my second my FIs first) we have included my children on the invites. It reads " H, H and N invite you to join them as their mother M creates a new family with A" . Then we are doing the sand ceremony as well. I like the idea of making them one to take home with them. None of my children want to be in the wedding party.

how to include the children

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