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My heart is breaking for FI...

I understand that things could be WAY worse, but I just had to get this out there before it consumes me. Warning: this is gonna be long and there isn't really a point but to vent...

 

FI was informed on Sunday that one of his GM will not be coming to the wedding. He lives OOS and doesn't think he will have the money/time off to get here. Everyone (except FI) expected this as this GM has been very unreliable in the past. FI went out of his way to defend this GM against those making remarks ensuring that he would be here. FI is embarrassed now.

 

Then on Monday, we find out that his grandmother (his only living grandparent) will most likely be unable to make the trip. He was so upset by this, but we understand as she is elderly and not in the best health.

 

The real kicker came last night. I walked into our home to find FI sitting on our couch sulking. When I asked him what was wrong, he told me that now his dad will not be coming because it is "too long of a flight" and he won't have money for food when he gets here. FFIL's flight would be barely over 1 hour, meals are taken care of for our OOT guests, and FI even offered monetary assistance if he needed it. All of which FFIL declined. FI is heartbroken. His father was not in the picture when he was growing up and they have been working hard to rebuild a relationship. FI feels that this is a huge slap in the face.

 

So overall, it has been a really, really shitty week for my FI. He is feeling like nobody on his side cares about him and is just really hurt. I am being there for him as much as I can and am here to talk whenever he needs to. I just wish there was more that I could do. Good news is that FI has an interview today with a company that would double his income currently and the hours are unbeatable. Fingers crossed! He needs something good to happen this week.

 

Thanks for letting me rant.

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Re: My heart is breaking for FI...

  • Aww give your Fi a huge hug.. I have fingers crossed that something fabulous happens for him this week.

    My H is the same way with point number 1. He always is so optimistic and never has any doubts about anyone. And then when it falls through (like we all knew it would) he gets upset and hurt and just can't understand why so and so didn't come or something didn't happen like he thought it would.

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  • Awwww, I'm sorry. Vibes for the job, though!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Hugs for your FI.  






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Hugs for him! I don't have a lot of perspective to offer but I look at things like this as blessings in disguise: now he knows who he can count on and who he can't. There's a lot of value in knowing these things.
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  • Hugs for you and FI. Also sending GL vibes about the job.

                                               

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  • Thanks, everyone. I feel much better getting it out there. Now I can focus on how to cheer FI up. I am thinking his favorite dinner, a 6 pack, and some video games tonight.
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  • Hugs to FI during this tough time. Family can really suck sometimes and I hope he gets through this.

     







  • Ugh, that is all pretty rough. Sending good vibes for the job! And here's hoping his dad comes around, but even if he doesn't then here's hoping your FI can learn how to guard his heart a bit and not count on people who are unreliable. Love them, yes, but love them without any expectations. It's not easy. :/
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    This baby knows exactly how I feel
  • edited July 2014
    Aww. That really sucks. My FI is having similar problems. FFIL is also saying he doesn't think he can make the trip up (he lives in FL, we're in NY). His health isn't good, but it's because he has diabetes and refuses to take proper care of himself. 

    FI's brother is his BM. And FBIL hasn't called FI in weeks (not to talk about wedding stuff, just to chat). When he first asked him to be BM, FBIL mentioned a boys trip to Key West for a bachelor party. I know FI didn't expect it, but I could tell he got his hopes up. There's been no other mention of the trip and the wedding is less than 2 months away. I can tell FI is disappointed. 
  • @ClimbingBrideNY-That is a sucky situation, too! I hope everything turns out great for you and FI!
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  • Awwww so many hugs to him.  

    Bad things happen in threes...so maybe you got the bad shit out of the way, and things can start turning around!
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  • @ClimbingBrideNY-That is a sucky situation, too! I hope everything turns out great for you and FI!

    SITB

    Thank you!! and to you as well! 
  • I'm sorry for your fi. Let him sulk and work his way through this. Then, you can remind him of the people who will be there for him.

    Good luck to him with the job prospect : )

     

                       
  • I'm sorry for your fi. Let him sulk and work his way through this. Then, you can remind him of the people who will be there for him.

    Good luck to him with the job prospect : )

     

    SITBA

    Maire - always so wise.  Wonderful advice.  Many hugs and happy job vibes coming our way OP.

  • Aww, I'm sorry! It must really suck not only for FI, but for you too. I'm hoping he gets some good news with the job!

    Your plan sounds great, cook him his favorite meal, pick up his favorite brews, and let him sulk it out so that he gets it out of his system. You're really sweet for cheering him up :)
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  • What a bummer - sounds like just one thing after another. It's good he has you!! *((Hugs))*
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