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My parents are taking over...

usemestorybookusemestorybook member
in Wedding 911
Hey ladies! I know I'm not alone here, but I just had my first experience with my parents attempting to take over my wedding , and I kind of want to cry and stamp my feet like I'm 5 again.

Our wedding is almost a year away and we've only planned a few things. My dad is an avid Groupon-er that sends me a new wedding related "deal" every day, all of which I say thanks but never use. My FI and I are very picky, like things our own unique way, and have a very clear idea about the time of our wedding. My dad just called me to say he and my mom just bought us a photo booth. Well, we didn't really want one and there's no place in our venue that it would actually look nice. On top of that, I just looked at the website and it's a dinky little company that doesn't even do GOOD photos.

My parents claim they are paying for most of the wedding, but so far have only paid for the down payment on our hall. Am I being too bratty? I feel like this is a major warning sign that they think they can do whatever they want. Help brides!!
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Re: My parents are taking over...

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    jules3964jules3964 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited July 2014

    Well, unfortunately "those who pay get a say" so if you want to do everything on your own without their input, you need to pay for the wedding yourselves. Sometimes money can come with strings attached.

    That being said, if you really don't want a Photo Booth, can you calmly explain your reasons to them? It may be that they heard of the idea and just got excited, so they went ahead and booked it thinking you both would love it. I think some things like that you could refuse the offer. Hopefully they didn't pay a big deposit they can't get back.

    Maybe it's time to sit down with them to discuss the overall vision of your wedding. If they still insist on taking over, refuse any contributions and figure out how to pay for things on your own.

    Good luck!

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    Lauderdale PinkLauderdale Pink member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    Maybe it's time to sit down with them to discuss the overall vision of your wedding. If they still insist on taking over, refuse any contributions and figure out how to pay for things on your own.
    Gotta agree with Jules on this one.  If you don't sit down and have a real meeting of the minds, nothing will get done at all.  Sorry to say, but weddings are a business, with contracts, money and decisions.  You have to approach planning it with a business mindset.  Then the day itself can be romantic.
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    MegEn1MegEn1 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    That's a difficult decision though - if they're giving you money for some things, great. But if they just start buying things without talking to you first? I don't think the 'He who pays, says' rule covers that. 

    Achievement Unlocked: Survived Your Wedding! 
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    bekt14bekt14 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    I've experienced that some as well. Eventually I had a long talk with my family to explain exactly what my vision was for the wedding,and what things I want them to be involved/not-involved in. They took it a lot better than I was expecting and things have improved so much. 

    However, I'm paying for my own wedding. They are only contributing a couple thousand. So, that gives me the ultimate authority over all the decisions. If you really don't want them to make decisions, then i think you will need to pay for the wedding yourself. If they are paying, then they do have the right to make some decisions. 
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Pay for your own wedding.  Then you will have complete control.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    usemestorybook said:
    Hey ladies! I know I'm not alone here, but I just had my first experience with my parents attempting to take over my wedding , and I kind of want to cry and stamp my feet like I'm 5 again. Our wedding is almost a year away and we've only planned a few things. My dad is an avid Groupon-er that sends me a new wedding related "deal" every day, all of which I say thanks but never use. My FI and I are very picky, like things our own unique way, and have a very clear idea about the time of our wedding. My dad just called me to say he and my mom just bought us a photo booth. Well, we didn't really want one and there's no place in our venue that it would actually look nice. On top of that, I just looked at the website and it's a dinky little company that doesn't even do GOOD photos. My parents claim they are paying for most of the wedding, but so far have only paid for the down payment on our hall. Am I being too bratty? I feel like this is a major warning sign that they think they can do whatever they want. Help brides!!
    Lucky girl.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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