You've gotta be kidding me!

KenyanBeauty87 · August 2014

So I found my dream dress online. I told my sister and I was about to show her the picture and she says "it better not be my dream dress!" So I show her and it is her dream dress! We both start screaming lol. She's like "that's my dress!" and I'm like "no! It can't be! there's no way!" She says she posted it on instagram a year and a half ago (before I even had an account) and sure enough she shows me the post. It was a picture she saw online but had no idea where to buy it. She is also engaged but has been for 2 years with no plans to get married any time soon. She has done no wedding planning and her fiance isn't interested in any wedding plans right now. I've been engaged less than a month and I have a date picked out and a location so I am actively planning my wedding. She begged me to find another dress and at first I was stubborn but I just let it go. I love the dress and I'm bummed that I let it go...I know I'll find something else but I really loved that dress!

What would you ladies have done?

Maggie0829 · August 2014

Well without actually trying it on it could be neither of your dream dresses. Or it could be your dream dress but not hers.

Her claiming a dress is about the same as her claiming a wedding month or a venue or color scheme.

If you like the dress and want to try it on to see if it is for you then do so. It seems that by the time your sister gets married she will most likely have quite a few other "dream dresses" to pick from.

RebeccaFlower · August 2014

Knottie13568439 said:

So I found my dream dress online. I told my sister and I was about to show her the picture and she says "it better not be my dream dress!" So I show her and it is her dream dress! We both start screaming lol. She's like "that's my dress!" and I'm like "no! It can't be! there's no way!" She says she posted it on instagram a year and a half ago (before I even had an account) and sure enough she shows me the post. It was a picture she saw online but had no idea where to buy it. She is also engaged but has been for 2 years with no plans to get married any time soon. She has done no wedding planning and her fiance isn't interested in any wedding plans right now. I've been engaged less than a month and I have a date picked out and a location so I am actively planning my wedding. She begged me to find another dress and at first I was stubborn but I just let it go. I love the dress and I'm bummed that I let it go...I know I'll find something else but I really loved that dress!

What would you ladies have done?

Stuck in box:
I don't think you can really have a dream dress until you try it on, so I think you're both getting way ahead of yourselves.I loved one dress in pictures and when I tried it on, it was tragic. Even my mom laughed, it was just so wrong on me. I also can't stand this bridal industry induced pressure that we have a 'dream dress.' I'm sure there are plenty of dresses that look lovely on you. I think it's worth letting go of, even though your sister is being bratty since she's not even planning her wedding.

StitelME · August 2014

I agree with @Maggie0829 . No one gets to place dibs on a dress - especially not on a dress they saw over a year ago online and haven't made any legitimate efforts to look into further (am assuming this since you were clearly able to find it but she never did in her long engagement). I think you are well within your rights to try it on and if you like it, wear it.

manateehugger · August 2014

I had about three different dream dresses found online or in magazines. I didn't buy any of them after trying them on.

Until you try this thing on, you have no idea.

KenyanBeauty87 · August 2014

lol you're right ladies. It might not even look nice on me. And I might end up going with a different style all together! So I am keeping my options open. Thanks for the feedback!

StitelME · August 2014

PDKH said:

I had about three different dream dresses found online or in magazines. I didn't buy any of them after trying them on.

Until you try this thing on, you have no idea.

I should also mention, the dress I ended up going with was the 100% exact OPPOSITE of the dress I went into the boutique wanting. Just for some perspective.

labro · August 2014

Knottie13568439 said:

So I found my dream dress online. I told my sister and I was about to show her the picture and she says "it better not be my dream dress!" So I show her and it is her dream dress! We both start screaming lol. She's like "that's my dress!" and I'm like "no! It can't be! there's no way!" She says she posted it on instagram a year and a half ago (before I even had an account) and sure enough she shows me the post. It was a picture she saw online but had no idea where to buy it. She is also engaged but has been for 2 years with no plans to get married any time soon. She has done no wedding planning and her fiance isn't interested in any wedding plans right now. I've been engaged less than a month and I have a date picked out and a location so I am actively planning my wedding. She begged me to find another dress and at first I was stubborn but I just let it go. I love the dress and I'm bummed that I let it go...I know I'll find something else but I really loved that dress!

What would you ladies have done?

Have either of you even tried on this dream dress? I don't think you'll really know if it's YOUR dress until you've actually put it on. It's pretty rare to find a dress online, try it on and buy it because it fits everything you expected it to be.

Even if you were to both 1. Try it on 2. Love it and 3. Buy it it would be a completely different dress because you are two completely different people. With that said, my relationship with my sisters is more important to me than a dress. If it was really truly THAT important to her, I'd probably also consider some other possibilities when I went shopping (in person) and actually tried stuff on.

theartistformerlyknownas · August 2014

"Dream dresses" are just that - a dream. Something that doesn't exist in reality. Go to the store, try on a bunch of dresses, pick something that looks great in the real world - whatever that may be. Instagram dibs-calling is silly.

missdelilah · August 2014

I say, at least go and try it on. By the time your sister gets around to getting married it may no longer be available anyway.

My sister didn't consult me in anything wedding related, except for what overpriced dress I had to show up in. About four weeks before the wedding, she started giving me details. She ended up using what FI and I have considered our song since we got together simply because she got tired of looking for songs to compromise on with her then FI. So, now I have to find a new song. Nothing to be done about it. It might have helped if she hadn't then complained about my best friend's rendition of it.

If you try it on, and it looks great, your sister should be happy for you. If they're not making wedding plans any time soon she's got ages to find something she loves. My only dress stipulation was nothing like my sister's, which is fine, as I wasn't overly keen on what she wore anyway... at least, not for me. It looked lovely on her.

Please keep us updated on how the dress search goes.

KenyanBeauty87 · August 2014

It took me a few days but I did let it go because no dress is worth ruining what I have with my sister

and you're all right! I can't know how something will look on me online! Just the excitement of wedding dresses and getting carried away! haha

lilacck28 · August 2014

Now I'm curious and I want to see a picture of this paragon of a dress!

QueerFemme · August 2014

I would still try it on if you can find it. Of course, if she pinned it a year ago, unless it was new then, by the time you go shopping, it could be discontinued. Some styles are retired within a few years.

missdelilah · August 2014

I really want to see a pic too!

Dignity100 · August 2014

If you love the dress and it's in your budget, I would probably make an appointment and take my sister with me, have her try on the dress first and see if she still LOVES it on her, if she didn't, I'd try it on and see how it fit me.

KenyanBeauty87 · August 2014

This is the dress

KenyanBeauty87 · August 2014

see the problem is that it's an online purchase! But i'm making appts to bridal stores to try on other dresses. I'll probably find something that I love soon!

manateehugger · August 2014

Knottie13568439 said:

see the problem is that it's an online purchase! But i'm making appts to bridal stores to try on other dresses. I'll probably find something that I love soon!

That means it probably belongs to a real designer, but is being sold as a knock-off on another site. I did some searching, but the real designer didn't pop up (only more knock off sites). It may be discontinued. The style reminds me of a lot of Maggie gowns though.

climbingsingle · August 2014

StitelME said:

PDKH said:

I had about three different dream dresses found online or in magazines. I didn't buy any of them after trying them on.

Until you try this thing on, you have no idea.

I should also mention, the dress I ended up going with was the 100% exact OPPOSITE of the dress I went into the boutique wanting. Just for some perspective.

STUCK IN THE BOX

Same here! I had a very clear idea of the dress I wanted. I tried it on and I hated it! I ended up getting a dress the exact opposite of what I thought I wanted.

KenyanBeauty87 · August 2014

ooo those are pretty!!

StitelME · August 2014

ClimbingBrideNY said:

StitelME said:

PDKH said:

I had about three different dream dresses found online or in magazines. I didn't buy any of them after trying them on.

Until you try this thing on, you have no idea.

I should also mention, the dress I ended up going with was the 100% exact OPPOSITE of the dress I went into the boutique wanting. Just for some perspective.

STUCK IN THE BOX

Same here! I had a very clear idea of the dress I wanted. I tried it on and I hated it! I ended up getting a dress the exact opposite of what I thought I wanted.

STUCK IN THE BOX TOO!

I didn't even get to try on the dresses I originally thought I wanted - designer sent wedding size 4s to the trunk show. IRL, I'm a comfy size 14-16 depending on cut. So clearly my big butt wasn't going to fit into the tighter dresses no matter how much I squeezed. Thankfully, I fell in love with my dress and it all worked out perfectly!

emanon321 · August 2014

Demetrios has a dress with similar detailing

http://www.theknot.com/wedding-dress/demetriosbride/4286demetrios?ctx=0:100:-1:-1&src=res

Edit: I can't find it on their website, so it might be discontinued

manateehugger · August 2014

A few Eden Bridal dresses that may be up your alley as well:

http://www.edenbridals.com/BL089_p_1443.html

http://www.edenbridals.com/BL029_p_1131.html

http://www.edenbridals.com/GL049_p_1454.html

http://www.edenbridals.com/5093_p_219.html

KenyanBeauty87 · August 2014

awww thanks ladies i'll check em out!

southernbelle0915 · August 2014

That dress looks like it's going to cost a fortune. Can both of you afford it? Even outside needing to try it on, that might be your deciding factor right there...

kmmssg · August 2014

Just wanted to pass along this thought: My 4th DD got married in June and had started a pinterest board. She had pinned her dream dress 3 different times without realizing it. She knew it was the one. She tried it on and the wow factor just wasn't there. She liked it, but not like she thought she would once she tried it on. The dress she chose was nothing like her dream dress - it was even more stunning. Good luck to you!

CMGragain · August 2014

NEVER BUY A DRESS ON LINE UNLESS YOU HAVE TRIED IT ON IN PERSON!

Reputable discount order services will refuse to place your order. This is because those dresses are so photo-shopped, you cannot possibly choose one from a picture. They look completely different in real life, and there are no returns on wedding dresses.
My daughter was so sure that a Maggie Sottero was going to be "the one". When she actually tried it on - eh. She chose a completely different dress that wasn't even on her list. Most brides have this experience.
Go to some shops and try on real dresses. Keep an open mind about style (but not about price). You will find the right dress for YOU - not some anorexic model in a tortured pose.

PS. Maggie Sottero dresses cannot be discounted because they practice price fixing, which is illegal in the USA. If a site offers you one at a deep discount, it is a knock-off, Chinese site, and you won't receive anything like the real dress..

KenyanBeauty87 · August 2014

CMGragain said:

NEVER BUY A DRESS ON LINE UNLESS YOU HAVE TRIED IT ON IN PERSON!

Reputable discount order services will refuse to place your order. This is because those dresses are so photo-shopped, you cannot possibly choose one from a picture. They look completely different in real life, and there are no returns on wedding dresses.
My daughter was so sure that a Maggie Sottero was going to be "the one". When she actually tried it on - eh. She chose a completely different dress that wasn't even on her list. Most brides have this experience.
Go to some shops and try on real dresses. Keep an open mind about style (but not about price). You will find the right dress for YOU - not some anorexic model in a tortured pose.

PS. Maggie Sottero dresses cannot be discounted because they practice price fixing, which is illegal in the USA. If a site offers you one at a deep discount, it is a knock-off, Chinese site, and you won't receive anything like the real dress..

LOL I laughed so hard at the anorexic model in a tortured pose! haha I'm gonna go to some stores this weekend and try more dresses on! you ladies are right! I probably shouldn't buy online. I'll prob end up hating it. Thanks again ladies!

hyechica81 · August 2014

the only maggies you will find at discounts are older maggies at bridal shops that sell never worn sample gowns

eliza621 · August 2014

I also want to chime in about the dream dress lol I had a VERY specific idea of what I wanted and thought I found my ultimate dream dress. I was even ready to order a sample gown to try it on- as there are no stores that have the dress near me.. but I ended up finding one EXACTLY like it at a local boutique and was so excited!! but it looked horrible on, and I ended up with something completely different!

this one is similar, Essense of Australia D1218

this one is similar too, but probably worth more than my life. Pnina Tornai

definitely check into the smaller local bridal boutiques, they might have exactly what you're looking for.

xyentruocx · August 2014

Knottie13568439 said:

So I found my dream dress online. I told my sister and I was about to show her the picture and she says "it better not be my dream dress!" So I show her and it is her dream dress! We both start screaming lol. She's like "that's my dress!" and I'm like "no! It can't be! there's no way!" She says she posted it on instagram a year and a half ago (before I even had an account) and sure enough she shows me the post. It was a picture she saw online but had no idea where to buy it. She is also engaged but has been for 2 years with no plans to get married any time soon. She has done no wedding planning and her fiance isn't interested in any wedding plans right now. I've been engaged less than a month and I have a date picked out and a location so I am actively planning my wedding. She begged me to find another dress and at first I was stubborn but I just let it go. I love the dress and I'm bummed that I let it go...I know I'll find something else but I really loved that dress!

What would you ladies have done?

Okay, so when I was first reading this I thought "Oh bummer. Now the sister will need to find a new dream dress" - after all, you're getting married first.

Then I thought "or they could both pick new dresses" (after all, as most people said, you might try that dress on and be like "Oh - meh.")

And THEN I thought "Well wait... wouldn't it be amazingly adorable and awesome if they BOTH wore the dress for their weddings?" I don't know how close you are to your sister - emotionally and also in physical shape - but that could be something really cute and sentimental (and I am such a sap, lol) if you both do truly love the gown. It could be your something new, and her something borrowed and/or old.

You've gotta be kidding me!

Re: You've gotta be kidding me!

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