Champagne etiquette

theartistformerlyknownas · August 2014

I know that the rule is you can't have anything available to the WP that isn't available to all other guests. Absolutely. But what's the etiquette on having champagne served to those of us at the head table (just me and the mister, MOH/her BF, BM/his wife) for the toast, as long as it's available for everyone else? I don't want to have champagne poured for everyone because I know a lot of my guests don't drink it. It would be a giant waste of money. It will be available at the bar for anyone who asks for it though. I figure everyone will toast with whatever they're already drinking following cocktail hour, which might be champagne, might be Coke. But we'll just be arriving at the reception space and going right to our table, so I thought that would be nice to have ready for us to keep things moving along.

Thoughts?

Maggie0829 · August 2014

I think having it ready to go for those at the head table who want it (along with whatever other beverage any person at the head table would like) since you really won't have time to go to the bar once you arrive is fine. Just have the champagne available at the bar for any guests who want it.

melbenso · August 2014

I think that's fine. My DOC actually recommended that we not have champagne served to everyone for a toast, because too much of it would get left on the table. Instead we had it at the bar for anyone who wanted it. If you know ahead of time that the people at the head table will want champagne, I don't see any problem with asking the venue to pour them glasses and bring them to the table for the toast. If I were you, I'd mention to some family members, etc. that it will be available at the bar, so that can spread word of mouth (since not every bar displays all its offerings where guests can see them).

climbingsingle · August 2014

I think that's fine.

lilacck28 · August 2014

I just wouldn't have servers literally pour it for you guys in front of everyone else. Even if you DO have it available for everyone else, that makes it seem like its just for you guys. If they have it poured behind the scenes and ready to simply hand to you at the proper time, I think it creates less confusion.

southernbelle0915 · August 2014

Yup, that sounds fine.

I'd just find a way to make sure guests know they can get it at the bar since, when it's available, it's usually served table-side.

sarawifenow · August 2014

I think this is just fine. We are doing something similar.

We will have champagne available at the bar, but only FI and I will have it poured (no head table). Everyone else will just toast with whatever beverage they have at the time.

kns1988 · August 2014

Oh wow, another thing that I hadn't even thought about. I love champagne, so I never thought that there are people there who wouldn't want it. Obviously, there will be. Some of my guests don't even drink. What about having servers come around to offer it, but not have it ready at the table? Or is that too time consuming?

JCbride2015 · August 2014

kns1988 said:

Oh wow, another thing that I hadn't even thought about. I love champagne, so I never thought that there are people there who wouldn't want it. Obviously, there will be. Some of my guests don't even drink. What about having servers come around to offer it, but not have it ready at the table? Or is that too time consuming?

I like this idea of having the servers offer it. Or at least they can mention it as they come around while people are seated. I don't always know when the toast is coming and I do like to toast with champagne, so I'd want a heads up to go get some.

But in general I think your plan is totally fine.

annathy03 · August 2014

We did what you're considering- it was available at the bar but the lead waiter brought H and I (sweetheart table) glasses of champagne for the toasts. Everyone else used what was in their hand, be it a mixed drink, champagne, or coke. We found word of mouth with the bridal party (who were at cocktail hour within 15 minutes after the ceremony, and some of which are champagne drinkers) to be plenty effective.

As an alternative your venue may be willing to set out champagne glasses with the place settings and come around and offer it if you're concerned guests won't know they can get it.

cupcait927 · August 2014

That sounds like ultimately what FI and I are going to end up doing. We LOVE champagne and definitely want it to toast with, however I don't want to spend the per person cost for everyone to have it and not have it equally enjoyed. We're just going to ask that it be one of the options on the bar. That way people can toast with whatever they'd like, FI and I get our champagne, and we save money.

theartistformerlyknownas · August 2014

Awesome, thanks everybody! I was planning on having a sign at the bar listing out all the options (what's the use in upgrading the brands if people don't know, right?), and champagne will definitely be listed.

mysticl · August 2014

kns1988 said:

Oh wow, another thing that I hadn't even thought about. I love champagne, so I never thought that there are people there who wouldn't want it. Obviously, there will be. Some of my guests don't even drink. What about having servers come around to offer it, but not have it ready at the table? Or is that too time consuming?

STB:

I've seen this done at a lot of weddings. The glasses are already on the table and when servers come around to pour people can decline if they don't want it.

photokitty · August 2014

We did this. We had a bottle at our sweetheart table and served it at the bar for all guests. It was way cheaper, and less wasteful. It also allowed champagne to be offered all night. If we had done a poured toast it would not have been available at the bar the rest of the night.

As a guest, I'd be happy get it myself at the bar if I could get seconds, thirds, all night refills!! I love the bubbles!! :-9

STARMOON44 · August 2014

I'd be annoyed that no one came to my table and offered me champagne. Once I'm seated for dinner, I expect a waiter to offer me champagne for toasts, a choice of wine for dinner, and take any other orders and bring them back for me. I shouldn't have to stock up in cocktail hour or leave the meal to go get a drink.

If you do have a set up with no table service I think that should apply to the bridal party too!

mysticl · August 2014

STARMOON44 said:

I'd be annoyed that no one came to my table and offered me champagne. Once I'm seated for dinner, I expect a waiter to offer me champagne for toasts, a choice of wine for dinner, and take any other orders and bring them back for me. I shouldn't have to stock up in cocktail hour or leave the meal to go get a drink. If you do have a set up with no table service I think that should apply to the bridal party too!

Even the weddings I've attended that had plated meals did not do this. At least the ones I attended as an adult, the memory of the childhood ones is a little fuzzy. Champagne was passed out at the table or a bottle was on the table, water was on the table, one wedding had a bottle of white and a bottle of red on the table, all other drinks were available at the bar for you to get yourself. Waitstaff did not take orders, they served, cleared and refilled water glasses, that was it.

I was at a military ball where the waitstaff did take drink (non-alcoholic) orders from us at the table and then returned to inform us they were not allowed to do so and we had to get our own.

theartistformerlyknownas · August 2014

mysticl said:

STARMOON44 said:

I'd be annoyed that no one came to my table and offered me champagne. Once I'm seated for dinner, I expect a waiter to offer me champagne for toasts, a choice of wine for dinner, and take any other orders and bring them back for me. I shouldn't have to stock up in cocktail hour or leave the meal to go get a drink. If you do have a set up with no table service I think that should apply to the bridal party too!

Even the weddings I've attended that had plated meals did not do this. At least the ones I attended as an adult, the memory of the childhood ones is a little fuzzy. Champagne was passed out at the table or a bottle was on the table, water was on the table, one wedding had a bottle of white and a bottle of red on the table, all other drinks were available at the bar for you to get yourself. Waitstaff did not take orders, they served, cleared and refilled water glasses, that was it.

I was at a military ball where the waitstaff did take drink (non-alcoholic) orders from us at the table and then returned to inform us they were not allowed to do so and we had to get our own.

Ditto this. I've only been to one wedding that had waiters for drinks, and never as involved as offering various types of wine at dinner. I've never had a problem going to the bar just before dinner and getting my own drink. It's not even going to be so much like a waiter offering us champagne in some big production... they're just going to set it down right before we walk in because we won't have time right then to get to the bar.

jnissa · August 2014

mysticl said:

STARMOON44 said:

I'd be annoyed that no one came to my table and offered me champagne. Once I'm seated for dinner, I expect a waiter to offer me champagne for toasts, a choice of wine for dinner, and take any other orders and bring them back for me. I shouldn't have to stock up in cocktail hour or leave the meal to go get a drink. If you do have a set up with no table service I think that should apply to the bridal party too!

Even the weddings I've attended that had plated meals did not do this. At least the ones I attended as an adult, the memory of the childhood ones is a little fuzzy. Champagne was passed out at the table or a bottle was on the table, water was on the table, one wedding had a bottle of white and a bottle of red on the table, all other drinks were available at the bar for you to get yourself. Waitstaff did not take orders, they served, cleared and refilled water glasses, that was it.

I was at a military ball where the waitstaff did take drink (non-alcoholic) orders from us at the table and then returned to inform us they were not allowed to do so and we had to get our own.

Really? I've never been at a plated meal wedding where it wasn't offered by waiters. (The champagne, not the running back and forth to the bar for other orders).

I'd be annoyed too if the champagne toast came and that's when I found out that I should have gone to the bar to get my own. But it looks like I'm in the minority here, and my venue does champagne toast as a "free" inclusive (I'm sure I paid for that with the markup on chair covers) so I haven't really thought it through. You know your guests though. I'd side eye it if it weren't passed personally though.

mysticl · August 2014

jnissa said:

mysticl said:

STARMOON44 said:

I'd be annoyed that no one came to my table and offered me champagne. Once I'm seated for dinner, I expect a waiter to offer me champagne for toasts, a choice of wine for dinner, and take any other orders and bring them back for me. I shouldn't have to stock up in cocktail hour or leave the meal to go get a drink. If you do have a set up with no table service I think that should apply to the bridal party too!

Even the weddings I've attended that had plated meals did not do this. At least the ones I attended as an adult, the memory of the childhood ones is a little fuzzy. Champagne was passed out at the table or a bottle was on the table, water was on the table, one wedding had a bottle of white and a bottle of red on the table, all other drinks were available at the bar for you to get yourself. Waitstaff did not take orders, they served, cleared and refilled water glasses, that was it.

I was at a military ball where the waitstaff did take drink (non-alcoholic) orders from us at the table and then returned to inform us they were not allowed to do so and we had to get our own.

Really? I've never been at a plated meal wedding where it wasn't offered by waiters. (The champagne, not the running back and forth to the bar for other orders).

I'd be annoyed too if the champagne toast came and that's when I found out that I should have gone to the bar to get my own. But it looks like I'm in the minority here, and my venue does champagne toast as a "free" inclusive (I'm sure I paid for that with the markup on chair covers) so I haven't really thought it through. You know your guests though. I'd side eye it if it weren't passed personally though.

The champagne was offered by the waiters, or there was already a bottle on the table for us to pour ourselves.

Now at my wedding which was buffet the waitstaff poured it in the kitchen and brought it out on trays. They then proceeded to stand in the middle of the room and let people come to them. They did not serve and as a result none of the bridal party got any. I was not pleased about this but by the time I realized what had happened it was too late to do anything. I had assumed the champagne would be served and it's possible that was the intention but when people starting coming up to them they just assumed everyone who wanted some had been served.

STARMOON44 · August 2014

Hey, if you think it will work fine for your guests go for it! I'm just used to being asked "red, white, or sparkling " shortly after I sit down. And then getting refills and/or a new glass to switch from white, with the appetizers, to red with the entree, to sparkling with dessert.

Basically my vote is: WINE.

theartistformerlyknownas · August 2014

jnissa said:

mysticl said:

STARMOON44 said:

I'd be annoyed that no one came to my table and offered me champagne. Once I'm seated for dinner, I expect a waiter to offer me champagne for toasts, a choice of wine for dinner, and take any other orders and bring them back for me. I shouldn't have to stock up in cocktail hour or leave the meal to go get a drink. If you do have a set up with no table service I think that should apply to the bridal party too!

Even the weddings I've attended that had plated meals did not do this. At least the ones I attended as an adult, the memory of the childhood ones is a little fuzzy. Champagne was passed out at the table or a bottle was on the table, water was on the table, one wedding had a bottle of white and a bottle of red on the table, all other drinks were available at the bar for you to get yourself. Waitstaff did not take orders, they served, cleared and refilled water glasses, that was it.

I was at a military ball where the waitstaff did take drink (non-alcoholic) orders from us at the table and then returned to inform us they were not allowed to do so and we had to get our own.

Really? I've never been at a plated meal wedding where it wasn't offered by waiters. (The champagne, not the running back and forth to the bar for other orders).

I'd be annoyed too if the champagne toast came and that's when I found out that I should have gone to the bar to get my own. But it looks like I'm in the minority here, and my venue does champagne toast as a "free" inclusive (I'm sure I paid for that with the markup on chair covers) so I haven't really thought it through. You know your guests though. I'd side eye it if it weren't passed personally though.

I guess in my head I'm not really even calling it a "champagne toast," it's just a toast where some people happen to be drinking champagne. (Not even the groom, though, since he doesn't drink. Maybe he'll have Red Bull in a flute.)

Would you be any less annoyed if a waiter dropped off a couple Jack and Cokes at the head table? Is the problem the fact that someone is dropping it off, or just that it's champagne?

theartistformerlyknownas · August 2014

STARMOON44 said:

Hey, if you think it will work fine for your guests go for it! I'm just used to being asked "red, white, or sparkling " shortly after I sit down. And then getting refills and/or a new glass to switch from white, with the appetizers, to red with the entree, to sparkling with dessert. Basically my vote is: WINE.

I think I need to start hanging out with your friends.

STARMOON44 · August 2014

Both. It's a problem that they are being served and no one else is, and that they are being served champagne. Toasting with champagne instead of whatever's handy is a tradition lots of people like. It's a fine one to skip, but if the bridal party is doing it I think it needs to be easy for anyone else who wants to participate to do so. And sitting down with no drink because I finished mine at the cocktail hour, realizing toasts are starting and no one has offered me champagne, and making a beeline for the bar isn't easy.

NYCMercedes · August 2014

Last wedding went to, all the waiters were walking around with champagne and red or white wine as people were being seated. When the B&G came in then, everyone had just been served some could toast with whatever had just been poured or with whatever we brought into the dining room

RebeccaFlower · August 2014

I just have one thing to add... if people have a champagne toast, can we please fill the glasses? I went to two wedding in my area and they barely put a sip in the glasses. It comes across as so cheap to me! I'd rather toast with my wine or water.

offensivekitten2 · August 2014

I think it's fine as long as you do a pre-toast announcement so people have time to go get it if they want.

Something like "Attention, we will be doing the champaign toast in 10 minutes. If you'd like to join us, champaign is available at the bar"

photokitty · August 2014

lolo883 said:

STARMOON44 said:

Hey, if you think it will work fine for your guests go for it! I'm just used to being asked "red, white, or sparkling " shortly after I sit down. And then getting refills and/or a new glass to switch from white, with the appetizers, to red with the entree, to sparkling with dessert. Basically my vote is: WINE.

I think I need to start hanging out with your friends.

Ditto! I've never have the pleasure of this level of service. If I got invited to black tie wedding I'd pee my pants from excitement...

eta black tie, not time

rajahmd · August 2014

Hmm. Now I'm glad we did our toasts by the cake, which was right next to the bar. People had no issues getting new drinks.

princessleia22 · August 2014

I think it's perfectly fine. I wouldn't look down on it if the bride & groom got special treatment (champagne server) that guests didn't... And I wouldn't expect the bride to go wait in line at the bar for a drink. My DOC was very good at making sure DH and I always had a drink in our hand throughout the night. The only time I went to the bar all night was when my 6-year old niece wanted what I was drinking (pina colada), so I went to help her order one (virgin of course)... she got a kick out of ordering her own grown up drink at the bar.

Anyway, it may be a good idea to have servers notify the tables that if they would like champagne for toasting, it is available at the bar. And/or make an announcement 10-15 minutes before toast to let people know that toasts are coming and to get their champagne if they would like some. I would probably do both. If you just do announcement prior to toast, you may have a crowd rushing the bar. But, if you notify them at the beginning of the evening, you may have a lot of people get it in advance to reduce the last minute crowd.

theartistformerlyknownas · August 2014

The toasts are going to happen during the salad course; do people really need so much advance warning that this is about to happen? They will have already sat down to eat and should already have whatever they wanted to drink with their dinner. It's not like we're sneak attacking people with toasts and catching them off guard. I have never been notified in advance that toasts were about to happen... I just always expect them to be right before/at the beginning of dinner. Although I also don't tend to find myself drink-less at a wedding very often...

manateehugger · August 2014

NYCMercedes said:

Last wedding went to, all the waiters were walking around with champagne and red or white wine as people were being seated. When the B&G came in then, everyone had just been served some could toast with whatever had just been poured or with whatever we brought into the dining room

This is what we did. The waiters filled H and mine up with champagne right before the toasts (our caterer was a schedule/time-keeping machine), otherwise I would have just waltzed up there with some Riesling.

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