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Etiquette

Silent Cell Phones

I want to start by saying that I tried to find the answer in past threads but was not getting exactly what I was looking for. Most of the threads discussing "Unplugged" Ceremonies talk about people taking pictures. I don't care if people take pics and have already informed my photographer that if someone is in her way she should politely ask them to move, as it is her job to take pictures. I am not having a DOC but my aunt is constantly trying to help fill this role. I am appreciative but have made it clear that this is not expected of her. She made a suggestion today that shortly before the ceremony starts she would like to ask guest to silence their phones so that the ringer does not go off during the ceremony. Something along the lines of "Hey everyone, we are about to start and if you planned on silencing your cell phone now is the perfect time". I am torn. While I would be really disappointed if someone's phone went off during the ceremony, I worry about telling adults what to do. I know that is inappropriate, but her suggestion seemed polite and less like a demand than a reminder. What do you think? Out of line or Ok?
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Re: Silent Cell Phones

  • Darn TK. I promise I had paragraphs.
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I think that's a fine and reasonable thing to do.
    PrettyGirlLostlc07cowgirl8238
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I wouldn't have a problem with a polite reminder from the officiant asking people to silence their cell phones.  Don't mention anything about "being in the moment" though.  That's offensive.
    Sassybride73
  • I think this is the limit of what's fine. I've seen officiants do it at tons of weddings. Just be aware that some people will still forget :(
    image
  • None of the "in the moment crap", and I don't mind if people take pictures. 
    holyguacamole79
  • As a guest this wouldn't bother me at all!  

    Is your Aunt saying that she should say it because the priest/minister/officiant is walking in the processional? Or did I miss the mark thinking that it is something that she wanted to do personally, rather than a suggestion of something that might be a good idea?

    It might seem strange to me if she got up and said it before the processional, I would have the officiant do it.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image
  • I don't see a problem.  Honestly, sometimes I totally forget to do it then have that panicked moment of "omgsh did I forget!?" and digging through my purse to make sure.
    lc07wrigleyvilleKnottie37373131
  • She offered to say it, but it was more along the lines of she was pointing out that it should be mentioned. The officiant could easily say it
  • Yeah, I'd probably have the officiant say it instead of her. He/she is already up there running the show anyway.
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    wrigleyvilleemmaaa
  • Concert halls and theatre venures do this all time. I think it's totally fine.

    wrigleyville
  • I like your wording - and as a guest, I would appreciate the reminder. I would hate to be That Guest whose phone went off mid-ceremony because she forgot to silence it!
  • I'd have the officiant do it, it would seem a bit strange if you aunt just stood up and announced it, but I don't think it's unreasonable for the officiant to do so.

    RebeccaFlower
  • Reminders like that happen all the time at concerts, etc. Shocking people don't remember without it sometimes. I think that would be just fine.

  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Last two weddings I went to had no announcement and no rings. Neither were in a church either, so I think we've come to the point that it's an unnecessary announcement.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Last two weddings I went to had no announcement and no rings. Neither were in a church either, so I think we've come to the point that it's an unnecessary announcement.
    I disagree. The fact that you didn't experience it at two weddings doesn't mean anyone's come to the point where it's an unnecessary announcement.
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    My officiant said something prior to the ceremony about everyone silencing their cell phones. We never discussed this with her, it must just be something she always does.

     She also told everyone to stand when the music changed to my bridal processional. I kind of cringed at that, because people know they should stand for the bride.

    I found this out recently after watching the wedding video.
    image
    image

    image


  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I don't think it's necessary, I've never heard it at a wedding or heard a phone go off during the ceremony. But I also don't think you'd be crossing a line if you would like for the officiant to mention it.


    NYCMercedes
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited August 2014
    My own dad didn't silence his iPhone at my cousin's wedding, and neither did a bunch of others. I heard a loud chorus of DINGS, phone camera shutter sounds, and one OOH-OOH-AH-AH monkey sound (it's a common feature on many old Verizon dumb phones) as people started recording.
    FFIL got out his ye olden days Nikon that made science fiction noises when he turned it on mid-ceremony at a family friend's wedding.

    I understand that it doesn't bother most people, and I've heard that when they are up involved in their own ceremony they don't notice, but I apparently have super-hearing and notice things like that so it bugs the shit out of me. I am the dick that is like YAY SILENT CELL PHONES.
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

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    yogablossomKnottie37373131cupcait927cowgirl8238
  • I wouldn't be offended by the reminder.  Sometimes I honestly do forget to put my phone on silent.
    abbyj700
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    My aunt not only didn't silence her cell phone at her own son's wedding, she walked back up the aisle having a conversation with someone on it.
  • I went to a funeral and a wedding recently and cell phones went off at both. I think its horrible that people still need a reminder sometimes to silence them.
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Jen4948 said:
    My aunt not only didn't silence her cell phone at her own son's wedding, she walked back up the aisle having a conversation with someone on it.
    image
    YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME. PLEASE BE LYING. PLEASE?
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

    image
    cowgirl8238
  • Eh, I'm kind of in the camp of don't-make-this-type-of-announcement. 
    image
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    beethery said:
    Jen4948 said:
    My aunt not only didn't silence her cell phone at her own son's wedding, she walked back up the aisle having a conversation with someone on it.
    image
    YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME. PLEASE BE LYING. PLEASE?
    Sadly, this is a 100% true story, and even sadder, my aunt is normally a person of good taste and etiquette.
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    It wouldn't offend me to hear this announcement. I'm not really a fan of them though, so I won't be doing it myself. If you do decide to do it, have your officiant say it and not your aunt. 

  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    As much as I abhor (really, really, really hate) "unplugged weddings," I have absolutely no issue with the officiant politely reminding people to silence their phones just before the wedding starts. 

    I didn't do it tho, didn't think we needed to...no phones went off, so i was correct...Go Friends & Family for being awesome!
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • My officiant said something prior to the ceremony about everyone silencing their cell phones. We never discussed this with her, it must just be something she always does.

     She also told everyone to stand when the music changed to my bridal processional. I kind of cringed at that, because people know they should stand for the bride.

    I found this out recently after watching the wedding video.
    My officiant did this as well. She always asks everyone to take their seats and reminds people to turn their phones to silent. She makes the announcement right before the processional starts.

    Anniversary
  • The pastor of our church once said to please turn off your cell phones, and if he heard one, it had better be God calling!
    Jen4948 said:
    I wouldn't have a problem with a polite reminder from the officiant asking people to silence their cell phones.  Don't mention anything about "being in the moment" though.  That's offensive.

    Jen4948
  • APDSS22APDSS22 O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A is OK member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I have no problem with the officiant making a polite request sort of announcement about silencing cell phones just prior to the kickoff of the ceremony. 

    Don't be like the DJ at the last wedding H and I went to where he announced 7 times in 5 minutes that it was time for the cell phones to be turned off.  Mine was already on silent, H's was on silent and I assume everyone else had their phones on silent as well since no one pulled them out and we didn't have any weird noises occur during the ceremony other than the pastor saying "damn" when the microphones went out during the vows.

  • I have no idea if my officiant said anything...but my Dad's cell phone went off mid ceremony! I think he honestly uses it so rarely...no one calls except me, my sister, my mom, and my grandma's nursing home, really, that he totally forgot. It was funny, we giggled, we moved on. I'd definitely have the officiant do it over your aunt, though. I think if it was the aunt I'd kind of feel like it was another kid's mom yelling at me for misbehaving...if you remember what that was like when you were a kid!
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