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Bridal shower etiquette

It's been years since I've been to a bridal shower. Mine is next weekend. I'm super-excited but have a few questions:

1. I want to give a thank you gift to my aunt throwing it. She lives out of state. Do I give her something at the end of the shower? Do I send it to her house? Some hybrid?
2. Does FI go to the shower at all? I vaguely remember BIL stopping by at the end of my sister's shower but don't know if that's common or not. I know FI would love to skip it.
3. Can I use whatever thank you notes I want? Or do they have to match my invitations, etc? I've been buying cute ones whenever I see them cheap but just realized I might have gotten this wrong.

Is there anything else I'm missing?
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Re: Bridal shower etiquette

  • 1. If it's something she can't easily travel with, I would send it to her home with a nice card.

    2. No. H didn't come to mine at all. Some guys come by afterwards to help load gifts in the car or say hi to their mom, but since they aren't really a part of the event, they don't need to be there.

    3. Use what you want. I used TY cards that matched my Save the Date, not my invitations.

    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
  • Regarding 2, my husband stopped by at the end of our shower to help load gifts.  He also knew that his niece (my FG) was going to be there and he wanted to say hi to her.
  • It's been years since I've been to a bridal shower. Mine is next weekend. I'm super-excited but have a few questions:

    1. I want to give a thank you gift to my aunt throwing it. She lives out of state. Do I give her something at the end of the shower? Do I send it to her house? Some hybrid?

    Give her something small and easily transportable or ship it to her house.  It doesn't matter as long as you write the thank you note.  :)

    2. Does FI go to the shower at all? I vaguely remember BIL stopping by at the end of my sister's shower but don't know if that's common or not. I know FI would love to skip it.

    I asked DH (then FI of course) to stop by at the end to say hello to everyone.  I bribed him with cake.  :)

    3. Can I use whatever thank you notes I want? Or do they have to match my invitations, etc? I've been buying cute ones whenever I see them cheap but just realized I might have gotten this wrong.

    Use whatever thank you notes you want, just get them out quickly.

    Is there anything else I'm missing?

    photo composite_14153800476219.jpg
  • I got hostess gifts- I got some nice candles on onekingslane.com and a card for each of the hostesses and my mother. I don't think you need anything super fancy, but a small token is nice.

    I had 2 showers. One was in my hometown and H did not come (it is a flight away). The second was at his sister's house, hosted by his mother. They live close by. He drove me to the shower because I do not have a car. When we got there, there were a bunch of husbands there (the shower was mostly family, so it was a lot of BILs, cousins, uncles, etc). The guys stayed a bit, then went to the park for a concert. H came back toward the end to load gifts and say hi to everyone.

    I went to Target and got the cute $1 packs of cards they have at the front of the store. They do not need to match.
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  • Thank you all for the advice!

    FI will stop by at the end with my dad and my uncle ( aunt's husband, in from out of town with her). The guys are going out for liver and onions while we have the shower. It should work nicely!

    Still deciding on the gift though.
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  • My mom and sister hosted mine. I had flowers delivered to their work place the day after the shower as a thank you.
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