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Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
Share your elopement (or almost) stories
FI and I are seriously considering elopement sue to financial reasons but we are so torn. Just wanted to hear some stories. Maybe you eloped, but regret not having the wedding. Or you almost eloped but decided on a wedding.
Let's hear your stories or a friends........
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Re: Share your elopement (or almost) stories
My DH and I eloped to Australia. So, it wasn't so much budget concerns for us. We wanted to avoid family drama and stress. However, this was a second marriage for both of us. We do not regret it at all. In fact, I wish I could have done the same the first time around.
Given our choice in destination and resorts, it was just as expensive as a traditional wedding. However, it was so laid back, no stress, and very little planning had to be done. One of the best parts for us was seeing the reactions of everyone when we got back. Telling the parents was a little tough, but everyone was so supportive.
Private wedding - a small, immediate family only wedding. This is pre-planned, and there is a small celebration afterwards with family members.
Traditional wedding - a wedding with guests outside the immediate family.
Well, your definition of a wedding is different than most people's.
I almost eloped when my mother and FMIL were fighting and being horrible, but I decided that I wouldn't let FMIL win that one. I dug my heels in and went through with the small church wedding I wanted.
Most brides on the board seem to regret the white wedding dress the most when they truly elope. This is the thing we tend to see argued about if they decide to do a vow renewal later.
Many brides elope every year. There is no such thing as an "almost" elopement. They cherish their wedding memories, and to say that it isn't really a wedding is very offensive. My beloved late grandmother eloped twice, due to family disapproval. The first time, she climbed down the drainpipe, heavily pregnant, and jumped into Grandpa's car. They drove off to the next county and lied about her age. (In 1924, laws weren't as strict.) She looked on that as the most important day of her life. The second time, after she was widowed, she told her greedy entitled children to go to hell, and drove to a picturesque church to be married to husband #2. That marriage lasted 30 + years until his death. Grandma and I were very close. She never regretted either choice, and was contemptuous of my mother's elaborate plans for her own marriages, none of which lasted very long.
All told, we'll be at about $5k. We're going to a B&B in Vermont and getting married in a hot air balloon. I'm going to be wearing a simple white dress, my daughter is wearing a green bridesmaid dress, and we're having hair and makeup done. A photographer will be flying with us.
It's not really an elopement, because my parents know the date. Most people think we're doing something next year, but we're actually going to be married on August 21.
I surely hope your daughter never finds out that she wasn't a part of your actual wedding... that's because you only get one wedding- the one where you were legally married!
I suggest you don't even attempt to file for a license, scrap the ceremony, and continue to plan a lovely party since everyone will be spending money, taking time off, and traveling to a non-wedding.
ETF: words are hard!
The lying is really awful and uncalled for. I'll never understand how people can lie to their family and friends about such big life details. I hope everyone forgives you.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."