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Why don't I know anything about wedding planning....

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Re: Why don't I know anything about wedding planning....

  • beetherybeethery member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    flantastic said:

    Last night, I was making some invitation pockets when FI came over.

    I got him a drink, then I told him to help me in X way. He did, because he realized that he is also inviting people to his own wedding. Then he thanked me for having done more of it than he was doing.

    I think that worked out better than calling up my MOH who is trying to find a job after law school and making her drive 20 minutes to do the same thing.

    YES. YES TO THIS. MANY YES.

    FI's can actually help you with shit. It seems to be a thought that doesn't always occur to people, but your significant other can probably help you with wedding preparations. You might not ask them to crochet doilies for the tables (I know if FI asked me to crochet anything but a big-ass knot he'd be shit out of luck), but if you know they're capable of assisting with something and have the time, you can ask FI.


    --

    I'm the fuck     out.

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  • lurkergirllurkergirl member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer

    Knottie51227469 said:
    I believe part of the bridesmaids job is to help with the wedding! If you wanted someone to stand beside you and just look pretty for the camera, you could've had a dog, Part of being a bridesmaid is helping the bride! By no means am I saying they are your slave and burden them with everything you need to do, but help stuffing envelopes, or helping with set up or what-not comes as part of the job, if you ask me. 

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  • doeydodoeydo member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Technically, since they offered, you can be free to take them up on their offer to help.  But personally, I wouldn't.  I would feel like maybe they are just trying to be nice and don't really want to sit there and stuff welcome bags with me.
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  • PineapplePopsiclesPineapplePopsicles member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Knottie51227469 said:
    It pays the HONOR that you were chosen to be the one to help make little decisions that women should make! You ALSO get paid in gifts! I know personally, I have spend probably AT LEAST 3 hours per bridesmaid looking for gifts that they would like, appreciate and use. Thats just my opinion. Wouldn't you help the bride if you were a bridesmaid in a friends wedding? Or would you just show up and be like "HI! IM HERE" now wheres the free food and pictures of me in a beautiful dress with my hair imacuilate?
    In another thread, you said you picked these three things for their gifts:  

    a diamond candle - ok, cool if there is a ring in there, but semi-generic
    a tote bag that says BRIDESMAID on it
    a hanger for their BRIDESMAID dress with their names on it. 

    These aren't gifts for THEM.  These are gifts that Pinterest convinced you "all your girlzzz will luv 4ever"
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  • RebeccaFlowerRebeccaFlower member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I told my BFF that if I was helping her, she'd better have wine in the fridge. And not cheap two buck chuck. 

    We drank wine and it was fabulous. You can have help without being an asshole about it.
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  • beetherybeethery member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    PineapplePopsicles said:
    Knottie51227469 said:
    It pays the HONOR that you were chosen to be the one to help make little decisions that women should make! You ALSO get paid in gifts! I know personally, I have spend probably AT LEAST 3 hours per bridesmaid looking for gifts that they would like, appreciate and use. Thats just my opinion. Wouldn't you help the bride if you were a bridesmaid in a friends wedding? Or would you just show up and be like "HI! IM HERE" now wheres the free food and pictures of me in a beautiful dress with my hair imacuilate?
    In another thread, you said you picked these three things for their gifts:  

    a diamond candle - ok, cool if there is a ring in there, but semi-generic
    a tote bag that says BRIDESMAID on it
    a hanger for their BRIDESMAID dress with their names on it. 

    These aren't gifts for THEM.  These are gifts that Pinterest convinced you "all your girlzzz will luv 4ever"
    Oh lord. As a teenager, had I been a bridesmaid and therefore wrangled into helping with all your chores and errands that you as an adult could not figure out yourself, with all the school shit I had going on, if these were the tokens of appreciation you showed me, I would have been bullshit.

    OH GEE THANKS YOU COULDN'T FIND SOMETHING I AM PERSONALLY INTO, boy howdy you're such a good friend!!!

    Fuck's sake, take the girls to dinner and get them a gift that's relevant to their interests, because I'm gonna tell ya, everybody's interests do not revolve around being a fucking bridesmaid.
    --

    I'm the fuck     out.

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  • beetherybeethery member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    flantastic said:
    beethery said:
    Oh lord. As a teenager, had I been a bridesmaid and therefore wrangled into helping with all your chores and errands that you as an adult could not figure out yourself, with all the school shit I had going on, if these were the tokens of appreciation you showed me, I would have been bullshit.

    OH GEE THANKS YOU COULDN'T FIND SOMETHING I AM PERSONALLY INTO, boy howdy you're such a good friend!!!

    Fuck's sake, take the girls to dinner and get them a gift that's relevant to their interests, because I'm gonna tell ya, everybody's interests do not revolve around being a fucking bridesmaid.

    For whatever reason, my FMIL is okay with the idea that my mom is too busy with making my dress and working part-time to rustle up some print baby pictures of me for a stupid slideshow, but she keeps suggesting I ask my sister to do it.

    Sister is 17, an honors student, and applying to college. She is more busy than my mom.


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    Nooooo. no no no.
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    I'm the fuck     out.

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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I need to piggy-back on the topic that the fiance should be the one helping you do stuff for your wedding.

    Although we have same-sex couples on TK, we still talk in terms of "female bride doing DIY crafts with a crew of willing female bridesmaids".

    Well, let me tell you this. My coworker, a man, is marrying his male partner of 30 years (wooooo!). These men have been making fancy paper flowers, fancy invitations, assembling invitations, finding venue decorations, and doing goodness knows what-else.  (I once joked with him that he "invitation-shamed" me because his invites were way more awesome than mine. I'm not crafty at all.)

    My point is that men are physically capable and willing to all the stuff that female brides try to guilt-trip their female bridesmaids into doing with them, ok?  For all of us ladies marrying men, don't be SO DARN 1950's that you can't ask a man to make a freakin' invitation.  It's his wedding too. 
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