8 months since wedding and I haven't sent THANK YOU cards

MadameDrea · August 2014

I am not happy to admit this, but it is true. When we got back from the honeymoon we both became so busy right away with work, working like crazy and traveling for work. My question is this.... Is it worse to send cards this late after the wedding? If the answer is that I should still send them out, do I address the fact that it is so late, or do I not mention the huge gap in time?

HELP

gothic_fairy60 · August 2014

You should send them today! Know the saying "better late than never"? Chances are you already upset some of your guests. I would be upset with you.

As to addressing your lateness in the thank you cards, I am torn. At the very least if you mention it then your guests know that you know the rules of thank you cards, even if you don't follow them.

LondonLisa · August 2014

Yeah, this needs to be sent today! I would apologise for the delay but not offer any excuses. I think that always takes away from the apology when you say "I'm sorry it took me forever to thank you for the gift you found time to buy me but I was just too busy". It is fine to say "We are so sorry this is thank you is so late. It was so nice of you to think of us at our wedding and give us X. We love it and use it for Y. Thank you so much for spending our special day with us and giving us such a lovely gift...etc"

I don't buy the too busy excuse anyway. Thank you notes take 5 minutes. Are you saying that you haven't stayed in one night at all during the past 8 months and watched a film? Gone out to dinner with your Husband? Gone shopping? That is all time you could have finished Thank You cards. I understand you realise why this is so bad and I am not trying to beat a dead horse, but for lurkers, none of the reasons she gave are a valid excuse (which I think OP recognises). If you accept gifts, you need to realise that it comes with the necessity of writing Thank You Notes no later than 6 weeks after the wedding. If you have to clear a Saturday, wake up an hour early or skip fun things to get this deadline done, so be it.

banana468 · August 2014

Stop with the excuses and write them! Do you think your guests weren't leading busy lives?

wandajune6 · August 2014

Just get them done. No excuses, etc.

I got a wedding gift last week and had a hard time looking my great aunt in the eye when she asked me about wedding planning knowing I hadn't sent her one yet. I'm a bit extreme, sure, but I know she notices and cares.

climbingwife · August 2014

Holy shit. YES. SEND THEM NOW!

I agree with LondonLisa. Apologize for the thank you arriving late, but do not give any excuses. Because honestly, there is no excuse.

Maggie0829 · August 2014

I received a thank you a full year after the wedding was over with. By that point I was beyond irritated that a thank you was received so freaking late. I get people are busy, everyone is busy, but getting out thank you cards sooner rather then later should be a priority. And it really isn't that hard. Write 10 a night every night until you are done. You said you were travelling, you could have written some on a plane or at night in your hotel room. There are zero excuses as to why you haven't gotten them out so sit your butt down today and write them. Get your H to help. Get them all out in the mail by this weekend.

MNVegas · August 2014

Can't believe you are even asking this question! Of course you send them. You obviously have time to be on the internet so you certainly have time to write thank you notes. Agree w/pp about apologizing for the delay but please do not make up excuses. If you really had wanted to write them you would have found a few minutes here and there to do so.

MadameDrea · August 2014

I've never been married before, and never had a wedding planner so I needed someone to ask for advice if its better to send late than not at all. I am the one who posted. I obviously felt like shit about it and knew that I was wrong. Didn't think it was necessary for, as one of you said, beating the dead horse... But thank you for reiterating my obvious feeling of it being rude with the delay.

I do appreciate the prompt responses.

Maggie0829 · August 2014

MadameDrea said:

I've never been married before, and never had a wedding planner so I needed someone to ask for advice if its better to send late than not at all. I am the one who posted. I obviously felt like shit about it and knew that I was wrong. Didn't think it was necessary for, as one of you said, beating the dead horse... But thank you for reiterating my obvious feeling of it being rude with the delay.

I do appreciate the prompt responses.

I'm sorry but many of us had never been married before or had a wedding planner, nor do you really need previous knowledge to know that not sending thank you's at all would be down right horrible. You know the saying, "better late then never?" Yeah, it applies to this situation.

MadameDrea · August 2014

Thats perfectly fine. I'm just saying, I obviously wrote in here because I was unsure about how to move forward, and knew it wasn't right to wait. I just wanted some help. Thats what I thought these message boards were for, to help answer some questions and help ppl out. I appreciate the help... not the judgement and getting reprimanded, but nonetheless, thanks for the help... Cards will go out by Saturday.

PineapplePopsicles · August 2014

@MadameDrea I'm going to give you some credit for asking the question even though you had to know you weren't going to get a lot of sympathy. Everyone is busy. So here is what you do: Write your cards asap. Tonite. Try to get them all done tonite, if possible, and mail them out tomorrow. Don't give any excuses for your lateness (because the only valid excuse would be "i just woke up from an 8-month coma), just apologize and move on. In the future (baby showers, etc) make it a priority to be EXTRA-prompt with your thank-you's so these people know it was just a one-time thing.

LondonLisa · August 2014

OP- I understand you are feeling defensive and I applaud you for realising you made a big mistake and are working to fix it.

However, you seem to keep offering excuses (I travelled, work was hard, I have never been married before) instead of simply saying "I messed up" full stop. I don't doubt you are sorry and regret this, but every excuse takes away from this and is a way to justify it in your mind instead of just owning it. I realise you have never been married before, but you are acting like you have never received a gift before (and therefore have never written a thank you note, which I really hope is not the case!). I think THAT is the problem that a lot of the other posters have. As soon as someone says "I'm sorry this is late but xyz" it stops being an apology and starts being an excuse.

holyguacamole79 · August 2014

Knottie7109952 · August 2014

I was thinking the same thing. If you have time to post here, you have time to write a few notes!

8 months since wedding and I haven't sent THANK YOU cards

Re: 8 months since wedding and I haven't sent THANK YOU cards

Choose Another Board

Search Boards