Chit Chat

5 languages of love quiz

After some of the discussions here yesterday, I decided to take the 5 languages of love quiz (http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/couples/).  No big surprise, my top two were "acts of service" and "words of affirmation".  Very me.

So, when FI got home, I told him about the quiz.  He balked a little, but I told him since we weren't doing premarital counseling, his choices were to do the online quiz, or I would buy the whole book and read all 500 pages to him.  Out loud.  For months.  (I don't know how long the book really is, I'm just dramatic)  He gave in and took the quiz (I knew he would).  

When he finished, he says: "The quiz says I need to be naked."
Me: "Really?  It actually says you need to be naked?"
Him: "Well, it actually says physical touch is my main love language, but in little tiny letters here that you can't read without your glasses, it says you need to be naked right now.  It's a very smart quiz."

So, after we were side tracked a bit (I couldn't argue with the quiz, right?) he sent me his actual results, and I sent him mine.  He thinks it's funny that "physical touch" is his top one, since he's Mr. Asperger's and can't stand people touching him (except me and my daughter),  He told me he loves me about a half-dozen times last night (he tells me often, but always after I say it... this was him saying it first).  I was grinning from ear-to-ear because that does make a difference, so I think that one will stick.

Anyway, my point was, that was a neat exercise and got us to talk about some things we don't normally talk about, and I'm glad we did it (plus, an excuse to be naked so there's that).  So, thanks, ladies!
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Re: 5 languages of love quiz

  • We had a long premarital counseling session based on our results from the 5 love languages quiz. Not surprising, mine were words of affirmation and quality time. What was more surprising was that DH had scored either highest or second highest on physical touch. It led us to having a good conversation about how important that was to him, and I didn't even realize. (He is so much more of a quality time person, I didn't realize that cuddling while watching TV for him was more about touch than it was about QT). I really enjoyed that session and I thought it was so helpful, espeically in thinking about how important the little things that we do are.
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  • larrygagalarrygaga member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited August 2014
    Why does every question seem to have some sort of gift involved??? Is this a test to see how materialistic you are? Nothing wrong with liking gifts but every answer I swear had some sort of gift related answer to it. 

    My top two were quality time and physical touch. I do always like to be touching him and near him. I need that more than I need anything. We spend a lot of time just doing our own thing sitting right next to each other with our legs or arms touching.



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  • We both noticed the gift thing as well! FI even commented, "boy this thing really wants me to like presents. "
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  • My top 2 were acts of service and quality time. Receiving gifts was last. 

    I want H to take this! I'm willing to bet his top two will be words of affirmation and acts of service, in that order. Calling it now!
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  • FI is totally a physical touch guy. When we sit on the couch and watch TV he's constantly doing something weird like rubbing his foot on my leg. I need to constantly remind myself that that touch is really important to him and not be all "ew, get your foot off me you weirdo."

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  • My top one was Acts of Service followed by Quality Time. 

    I'm the type of person who says "actions speak louder than words" so it is no surprise that it is on top. Don't just tell me you love me, appreciate me, think I'm beautiful, want to help around the house, are proud of me, etc, show me. Mean it. 

  • Gift-giving is my language of love! And physical touch. I swear I'm not completely materialistic.

    We found this quiz really helpful. We took it pretty early on and it was great to be able to adjust our interactions slightly. 
  • Not really related, but your post made me think of H's recent tactic of stripping down when we're getting into a stupid fight. It's hard to have a fight over putting the remote somewhere findable with a naked man with a stupid expression in his face. Acts of Service girl here.
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  • I got physical touch as number 1 followed by quality time. Yep, that sounds right. I love to touch and be touched.

    Now I just need FI to take it.
  • emmaaaemmaaa mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    edited August 2014
    @manateehugger FI always smiles and laughs when I'm changing while we are arguing. He's like, "I can't take you seriously when you don't have a shirt on and your boobs are bouncing everywhere." Lol.

  • emmaaa said:
    @manateehugger FI always smiles and laughs when I'm changing while we are arguing. He's like, "I can't take you seriously hen you don't have a shirt on and your boobs are bouncing everywhere." Lol.
    It's true! Nudity is inexplicably funny! 
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  • Not really related, but your post made me think of H's recent tactic of stripping down when we're getting into a stupid fight. It's hard to have a fight over putting the remote somewhere findable with a naked man with a stupid expression in his face. Acts of Service girl here.
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  • Number one for me was acts of service and number two was quality time.
  • I assumed that physical touch would be way higher for me- but it was the lowest.

    As it turns out, my top two are Acts of Service and Quality Time.  I makes sense, I just never thought about it like that.

    Perhaps this will help FI understand why I don't want a hug when I'm trying to get shit done.
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  • I assumed that physical touch would be way higher for me- but it was the lowest.

    As it turns out, my top two are Acts of Service and Quality Time.  I makes sense, I just never thought about it like that.

    Perhaps this will help FI understand why I don't want a hug when I'm trying to get shit done.
    I got a big fat zero on physical touch, which happens to be one of DH's top two (along with words of affirmation.) So, I've got a lot to work on OR I need to take some things off of my plate to have more time for naked fun!

     







  • I assumed that physical touch would be way higher for me- but it was the lowest.

    As it turns out, my top two are Acts of Service and Quality Time.  I makes sense, I just never thought about it like that.

    Perhaps this will help FI understand why I don't want a hug when I'm trying to get shit done.
    I got a big fat zero on physical touch, which happens to be one of DH's top two (along with words of affirmation.) So, I've got a lot to work on OR I need to take some things off of my plate to have more time for naked fun!
    Funny thing about touch: for me, holding hands in public is way more affirming than sex. This is mostly because FI is very good at emotions privately, but it took him almost a year to be comfortable holding hands in public. Not only do I crave physical touch (it's my primary) but it has to be about more than just sex. It has to be about being comfortable with the world knowing that we love each other.
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  • it's really important to understand love languages (I've known about them since my friend and I got interested in them back in HS) because really, they're less about love and more about communication.  The ways in which you communicate with your partner are not necessarily corresponding with their language.  FI likes to buy me things as he takes pride in his money and when he actually invests monetary value in something that's how he indicates it's important ot him...but receiving gifts is LOWEST for me (score of 1).  He has learned that it means more to me to have him just 'with me' than to have a 'thing' from him.

    Vice versa, while I'm all about just being in his presence, his top language is acts of service.  I do things for him to show I appreciate him - make dinner, keep his beer full, make his lunch etc.  

    The quiz is a really good tool to give insight as to how your partner communicates with and shows/receives appreciation from you.
  • My top is gift-giving and my second is acts of service. FI's top is physical touch and I can't recall what his second is right now.
  • Mine were almost all even (except gifts which was 0), and they probably would have tied if I hadn't had to choose one or the other!

    Maybe I'm just needy ;-)

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  • I just took it with FH. 

    Acts of Service and Receiving Gifts were tied for the top and my bottom was Physical Touch.

     I was surprised FH had an 11 for Acts of Service and 8 for Physical Touch. I would have be PT would have been his number 1.
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