New name?

tmoseman · February 2010

Ok...I've been trying to decide whether to keep my maiden name or to hyphenate both of our names. We've decided that regardless, if we have children, any girls will take my name, and any boys will take his name, so that doesn't really affect anything. I would never subject a kid to a hyphenated name. If I hyphenate, does Moseman-Rains sound bad? Just looking for some opinions!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · February 2010

I think it sounds fine. I also think that some hyphenated names, while they sound long originally, they tend to flow better the more you look at/say them. A one-syllable name and a 2-syllable name work fine, IMO.

However, if the girls will have your last name, I think keeping yours works well, too. Hell, my kids will have FI's last name and I'm still keeping mine.

berrytr · February 2010

IMO you should keep your name unless both of you will hyphenate.

golden1215 · February 2010

I'm not understanding why you would give your children different last names....

jenn.daniel · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_new-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:9aaec6c8-4ce9-41c4-9335-af83bcfec408Post:9bb2c38a-9ca9-4106-94d0-4fb484ae62b3">Re: New name?</a>:
[QUOTE] I think it would be weird if the girls had your name and boys your FI name. I just don't understand the reasoning for it and I think it would be weird for the kids growing up.
Posted by stillundecided4[/QUOTE]

this

AdeleDazeem · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_new-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:9aaec6c8-4ce9-41c4-9335-af83bcfec408Post:1095749a-a591-4b4f-9418-e60daa995a15">New name?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok...I've been trying to decide whether to keep my maiden name or to hyphenate both of our names. We've decided that regardless, if we have children, any girls will take my name, and any boys will take his name, so that doesn't really affect anything. I would never subject a kid to a hyphenated name. If I hyphenate, does Moseman-Rains sound bad? Just looking for some opinions!
Posted by tmoseman[/QUOTE]

I don't understand the rationale exactly. Why would the girls get your name and the boys get another? It sounds like you are just delaying inevitable: the phasing out of your maiden name.

I will be keeping my maiden name, but for reasons that have nothing to do with hyphenation or kids names. If you don't want to change it, then you don't have to.

megk8oz · February 2010

I'm not really understanding the different last names for the children either ... I think it'd be really weird for them growing up. I mean, if you have 1 girl and 3 boys, then you're daughter is going to feel like the "odd one out", I'd think.

My mom remarried when I was young, and proceeded to have 2 more children (And then later adopted another), who were given my step-dad's last name. My bio dad (Who's last name I had) was a very minimal part of my life, and I hated "being different" than most of my family. I basically made the decision when I was 9 years-old that I would "kill" my last name as soon as I got the chance ... when I changed my name, I completely dropped it. Bio-dad had no sons or brothers, and my older sister has not passed the name down through her own child-my maiden name ... unless bio-dad has another kid, the name is done.

I mean, I understand wanting to not lose your maiden name, but I could seriously see a child hating being different so much that they would make the same decision to "kill" the name someday. I think hyphenating would be a much better idea for at least the kid's names.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · March 2010

I'm really surprised no one here knows siblings with different last names. When my FI's best friend had children, they gave the first one his last name and the second one his wife's last name. It is not an issue for them at all. The younger daughter and her mother share a last name. The family therefore has 2 last names and they sign their holiday cards "The Smith/Jones family."

Personally, I want my children to have the same last name as each other, so they feel more connected and so outsiders identify them as siblings, but it is all a very personal decision. There's really no perfect solution! I wanted FI and I to combine our names for our future children's last name, but I'm coming around to just letting them have his name and giving them my last name as a middle name. Really, there are SO many families where the members do NOT share a last name. I don't think it is unusual at all. And a name does not make a family.

iheartjsb · March 2010

I can understand how having the female kids take the mother's last name and the males taking the father's last name allows both of the surnames to continue on in the world, so I say go for it, even if your kids hate you for it. Otherwise, hyphenate or keep your last name and have the kids take his last name. Unfortunately, if they're girls, chances are they'll lose your surname in their own marriage.
Btw, I'm so happy to see more women keeping their last names!

EStar73 · March 2010

I wouldn't give the children different last names. I like being identified with my sister. When people hear my last name and ask "Are you Maggie's sister?" I like that. Also I don't know how I, as a child, would have been able to answer questions about why my sibling and I had different last names.

rubyjem00 · March 2010

To answer your original question, I think that hyphenation of those two names sounds fine, especially because they are relatively short names. I actually really like it hyphenated!

I can understand giving your children different names. I am in a similar situation. It is VERY important to me that my name be carried on so it is completely possible that our children with have different names. I admit that it was kinda nice being identified with my sister (when I wanted to claim her

) but she took her husband's name so now we have different names. It does seem to be increasingly common to have families with a different last names.

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