Real life purge

mrsmagicgeek · August 2014

I have a teenaged daughter. She, like most teens, lives on Instagram. Apparently a rumor started a few days ago that a "real life purge" was going to happen tonight in several cities (ours not being one of them) but she's scared so she asked to come home. I tried arguing with logic, but teenager, so I also went and got her.

Anyone else still awake for stupid reasons?

IrishPirate60 · August 2014

Remember 9/11? Nasty rumor ran through the prisons that the government was going to declare "Marshall Law" and draft all the corrections officers into a standing army. But before they went, they'd execute all the inmates.

It took a while to untangle THAT bit of nonsense, but people were really panicked for a while.

WinstonsGirl · August 2014

I'm still up, but it's only just getting to 11 here. I'm glad that your daughter know she can turn to you when she's scared though. I think that says a lot about you and your relationship with her.

wandajune6 · August 2014

My teen stepson -to-be hasn't left his room since Tuesday. He has been told to stay in his room until he's ready to do his chores. This followed a full for and crying after being reminded that he had already put them off for over a week. He's missed meals, a small party, etc. because he won't clean his room or mow the lawn. We never expected it to go on this long.

The stench coming out of his room is scaring the dog. I'm worked about pests from the food he has been sneaking in (no food allowed in bedrooms, I see trails of crumbs/dropped food outside his room).

I feel like we should feel guilty but I'm loving the vacation from whining.

I love the kid but it's ok to dislike him, right?

mysticl · August 2014

So that's what that thing one of my fb friends posted was. I just figured it was some kind of run, like the zombie ones they do.

I'm up because I stay up late when DH isn't home.

lc07 · August 2014

wandajune6 said:

My teen stepson -to-be hasn't left his room since Tuesday. He has been told to stay in his room until he's ready to do his chores. This followed a full for and crying after being reminded that he had already put them off for over a week. He's missed meals, a small party, etc. because he won't clean his room or mow the lawn. We never expected it to go on this long. The stench coming out of his room is scaring the dog. I'm worked about pests from the food he has been sneaking in (no food allowed in bedrooms, I see trails of crumbs/dropped food outside his room). I feel like we should feel guilty but I'm loving the vacation from whining. I love the kid but it's ok to dislike him, right?

This sounds kinda scary.

Lowell14 · August 2014

wandajune6 said:
My teen stepson -to-be hasn't left his room since Tuesday. He has been told to stay in his room until he's ready to do his chores. This followed a full for and crying after being reminded that he had already put them off for over a week. He's missed meals, a small party, etc. because he won't clean his room or mow the lawn. We never expected it to go on this long.

The stench coming out of his room is scaring the dog. I'm worked about pests from the food he has been sneaking in (no food allowed in bedrooms, I see trails of crumbs/dropped food outside his room).

I feel like we should feel guilty but I'm loving the vacation from whining.

I love the kid but it's ok to dislike him, right?

If it becomes too much, my friend told her daughter if she didn't clean her room, she would put it in the trash. And then she did.

Lowell14 · August 2014

Oh sorry, mis-read it. Dont think that would work for not doing chores

AddieCake · August 2014

My dad did the put my room in the trash thing once. As soon as he started, I got my ass in gear and cleaned that thing and KEPT it clean.

NavyBlue143 · August 2014

@wandajune6‌ Does the boy have a smartphone or computer or tv in his roon? If so take those things away too. And if he still refuses to do chores; sounds like it may be time to sell his gadgets so you can hire a person to mow the lawn.

AlexisA01 · August 2014

They did some stuff last night in Chicago and in Kentucky where the people were going to start the Purge.

wandajune6 · August 2014

NavyBlue143 said:
@wandajune6‌ Does the boy have a smartphone or computer or tv in his roon? If so take those things away too. And if he still refuses to do chores; sounds like it may be time to sell his gadgets so you can hire a person to mow the lawn.

His mom insisted on him having a smartphone but never pays the bill so he has a dumb phone. FI turned off wifi last night to work on it. No tv either.

The move was done after he started whining about not being able to watch tv in the living room while FI and I worked on a house project that he was also supposed to help with. The approach was that if you're not helping, you're not watching tv or playing video games either.

FI's friend and his son (same age) are coming by today to help with this project so I just woke him up and told him to get his ass in gear before he embarrasses himself in front of his friend. He's whining about it again but I think he appreciated the warning: the friend's kid has drive and a snarky tongue that he'll use on FSS.

mrsmagicgeek · August 2014

AlexisA01 said:
They did some stuff last night in Chicago and in Kentucky where the people were going to start the Purge.

Yeah she was afraid someone in our local city would think it was a marvelous idea and start it here. I let the dogs out of the bedroom (they're small but they'd bark) and that helped her get to sleep. Poor kid! She felt stupid but she was scared anyway. I supported her and did what I could to make her feel safe.

beethery · August 2014

The concept behind that purge movie honestly sketches me out. I sincerely doubt anything like that will ever happen, but the idea gives me the heebie-jeebies.

mysticl · August 2014

wandajune6 said:

My teen stepson -to-be hasn't left his room since Tuesday. He has been told to stay in his room until he's ready to do his chores. This followed a full for and crying after being reminded that he had already put them off for over a week. He's missed meals, a small party, etc. because he won't clean his room or mow the lawn. We never expected it to go on this long. The stench coming out of his room is scaring the dog. I'm worked about pests from the food he has been sneaking in (no food allowed in bedrooms, I see trails of crumbs/dropped food outside his room). I feel like we should feel guilty but I'm loving the vacation from whining. I love the kid but it's ok to dislike him, right?

This makes it sound like you have not been providing him with meals since Tuesday. If that is the case it is a really good way to bring CPS to your door. And absolutely something his mother could use against his father if she was so inclined.

SBmini · August 2014

AddieCake said:

My dad did the put my room in the trash thing once. As soon as he started, I got my ass in gear and cleaned that thing and KEPT it clean.

Yep- I had that happen to me once. If it was on the floor, it was put in big, black trash bags. Cleaning my room turning into a rescue operation to retrieve my things.

@mysticl- the boy is eating. He's sneaking food into his room

wandajune6 · August 2014

mysticl said:

wandajune6 said:

My teen stepson -to-be hasn't left his room since Tuesday. He has been told to stay in his room until he's ready to do his chores. This followed a full for and crying after being reminded that he had already put them off for over a week. He's missed meals, a small party, etc. because he won't clean his room or mow the lawn. We never expected it to go on this long.

The stench coming out of his room is scaring the dog. I'm worked about pests from the food he has been sneaking in (no food allowed in bedrooms, I see trails of crumbs/dropped food outside his room).

I feel like we should feel guilty but I'm loving the vacation from whining.

I love the kid but it's ok to dislike him, right?

This makes it sound like you have not been providing him with meals since Tuesday. If that is the case it is a really good way to bring CPS to your door. And absolutely something his mother could use against his father if she was so inclined.

You're right- it sounded horrible the way I wrote it!

He's been eating crap that his mom gave him or that he squirreled away while in his room. He's chosen not to eat meals with us since it wasn't crap. He just got back from a week with his mom and no longer wants to eat anything but fast food. FI is diabetic, the kid is pre-diabetic and I'm watching my sodium so we don't eat it often. Leftovers from several past meals are wrapped up and waiting for him in the kitchen- and I've made some of his favorites lately. The rule is that you eat what is served. He would have been allowed to eat dinner at the table if we wanted. He chose not to eat with us. Don't worry - we're not monsters!

We've been trying very hard to get his diet under control and he has fought us every step of the way. We've done everything that his doctor, dietician and psychologist have recommended but it's still a process. He's 15 and 250 lbs. He came home from 10 days with his mom and with 8 new pounds. Diabetes runs in the family and his doc has been worried about the trends in his blood sugar. His mom (illegally) signed him up for free lunches at school without telling us so he gained a ton of weight last year eating 2 lunches every day. We're still trying to get the school lunch revoked so he can eat healthier.

His mom lost custody for negligence 8 years ago. She used to have more time with him but has chosen not to see him much over the last year or so. She's the fun parent who imposes no discipline. She has been told about what's going on here.

Also, just to make sure there are no concerns- FI called his psychologist yesterday morning and she told us not to worry and that we weren't doing anything wrong. We've been working with her to understand how to discipline him while respecting the issues he is working through. It's just a tough process.

We're not awful people- I promise!

mysticl · August 2014

SBmini said:

AddieCake said:

My dad did the put my room in the trash thing once. As soon as he started, I got my ass in gear and cleaned that thing and KEPT it clean.

Yep- I had that happen to me once. If it was on the floor, it was put in big, black trash bags. Cleaning my room turning into a rescue operation to retrieve my things.

@mysticl- the boy is eating. He's sneaking food into his room

That's not the point. The point is are the parents providing him with food or are they denying it and he is forced to sneak it so he can eat? I'm a mandated reporter. If a kid came to me with the information provided in that post I would have to call CPS.

SBmini · August 2014

mysticl said:

SBmini said:

AddieCake said:

My dad did the put my room in the trash thing once. As soon as he started, I got my ass in gear and cleaned that thing and KEPT it clean.

Yep- I had that happen to me once. If it was on the floor, it was put in big, black trash bags. Cleaning my room turning into a rescue operation to retrieve my things.

@mysticl- the boy is eating. He's sneaking food into his room

That's not the point. The point is are the parents providing him with food or are they denying it and he is forced to sneak it so he can eat? I'm a mandated reporter. If a kid came to me with the information provided in that post I would have to call CPS.

And sorry, but that's part of the problem with the system. The boy has a choice. He can leave his room. All he has to do is clean it and mow the lawn and he gets full privileges again. He's refusing to do those chores so he is accepting the punishment for it- voluntarily. When OP told him he couldn't leave his room until he did his chores, I highly doubt she knew he would turn it into a multi-day stand off. He's trying to break her, to prove that he has more power than her. She has no choice but to stand her ground at this point. That is NOT a Child Protective Services issue! It's a brat issue that is being handled approriately by his parents.

mysticl · August 2014

SBmini said:

mysticl said:

SBmini said:

AddieCake said:

My dad did the put my room in the trash thing once. As soon as he started, I got my ass in gear and cleaned that thing and KEPT it clean.

Yep- I had that happen to me once. If it was on the floor, it was put in big, black trash bags. Cleaning my room turning into a rescue operation to retrieve my things.

@mysticl- the boy is eating. He's sneaking food into his room

That's not the point. The point is are the parents providing him with food or are they denying it and he is forced to sneak it so he can eat? I'm a mandated reporter. If a kid came to me with the information provided in that post I would have to call CPS.

And sorry, but that's part of the problem with the system. The boy has a choice. He can leave his room. All he has to do is clean it and mow the lawn and he gets full privileges again. He's refusing to do those chores so he is accepting the punishment for it- voluntarily. When OP told him he couldn't leave his room until he did his chores, I highly doubt she knew he would turn it into a multi-day stand off. He's trying to break her, to prove that he has more power than her. She has no choice but to stand her ground at this point. That is NOT a Child Protective Services issue! It's a brat issue that is being handled approriately by his parents.

Food is not a privilege, it is a basic right and it is needed for survival. Take the away the tv, the phone, the video games, time with friends, that is all fine. That is the information I would have to act on. Then it would be up to CPS to decide if it met the standard for abuse or not.

mysticl · August 2014

wandajune6 said:

wandajune6 said:

My teen stepson -to-be hasn't left his room since Tuesday. He has been told to stay in his room until he's ready to do his chores. This followed a full for and crying after being reminded that he had already put them off for over a week. He's missed meals, a small party, etc. because he won't clean his room or mow the lawn. We never expected it to go on this long. The stench coming out of his room is scaring the dog. I'm worked about pests from the food he has been sneaking in (no food allowed in bedrooms, I see trails of crumbs/dropped food outside his room). I feel like we should feel guilty but I'm loving the vacation from whining. I love the kid but it's ok to dislike him, right?

This makes it sound like you have not been providing him with meals since Tuesday. If that is the case it is a really good way to bring CPS to your door. And absolutely something his mother could use against his father if she was so inclined.
You're right- it sounded horrible the way I wrote it! He's been eating crap that his mom gave him or that he squirreled away while in his room. He's chosen not to eat meals with us since it wasn't crap. He just got back from a week with his mom and no longer wants to eat anything but fast food. FI is diabetic, the kid is pre-diabetic and I'm watching my sodium so we don't eat it often. Leftovers from several past meals are wrapped up and waiting for him in the kitchen- and I've made some of his favorites lately. The rule is that you eat what is served. He would have been allowed to eat dinner at the table if we wanted. He chose not to eat with us. Don't worry - we're not monsters! We've been trying very hard to get his diet under control and he has fought us every step of the way. We've done everything that his doctor, dietician and psychologist have recommended but it's still a process. He's 15 and 250 lbs. He came home from 10 days with his mom and with 8 new pounds. Diabetes runs in the family and his doc has been worried about the trends in his blood sugar. His mom (illegally) signed him up for free lunches at school without telling us so he gained a ton of weight last year eating 2 lunches every day. We're still trying to get the school lunch revoked so he can eat healthier. His mom lost custody for negligence 8 years ago. She used to have more time with him but has chosen not to see him much over the last year or so. She's the fun parent who imposes no discipline. She has been told about what's going on here. Also, just to make sure there are no concerns- FI called his psychologist yesterday morning and she told us not to worry and that we weren't doing anything wrong. We've been working with her to understand how to discipline him while respecting the issues he is working through. It's just a tough process. We're not awful people- I promise!

All of that sounds perfectly fine. The only thing in your first post that set off my radar was the food thing. Like I said elsewhere I'm a mandated reported and if a kid came to me with just that information I would have to make a phone call. Pretty much everything else is stuff I've advised parents to do. Except the the garbage bag thing but that's because we did not permit foster parents to throw away or give away a foster child's stuff without the child's consent.

wandajune6 · August 2014

Whoa!

I just posted a long response above but we haven't taken away food. He just doesn't want to eat what we're serving. Yes, he's staying in his room to avoid punishment but we would never deny a kid food.

Normally, he comes out of his room within 15 minutes of being sent there. While I'm not sure what's going on here, this is an issue of dealing with a brat, not abuse.

I was mostly venting in my first post because I was exhausted from worrying and pissed. I was looking at it as another example of odd teenage behavior. I clearly shouldn't have shared.

mysticl · August 2014

wandajune6 said:

Whoa! I just posted a long response above but we haven't taken away food. He just doesn't want to eat what we're serving. Yes, he's staying in his room to avoid punishment but we would never deny a kid food. Normally, he comes out of his room within 15 minutes of being sent there. While I'm not sure what's going on here, this is an issue of dealing with a brat, not abuse. I was mostly venting in my first post because I was exhausted from worrying and pissed. I was looking at it as another example of odd teenage behavior. I clearly shouldn't have shared.

I hadn't seen your response yet when I posted that stuff. But those were really in response to someone else, not you. Like I said before once you provided more information I found nothing alarming at all. I also wouldn't call it odd teenage behavior. I would just call it teenage behavior.

levioosa · August 2014

wandajune6 said:

Whoa! I just posted a long response above but we haven't taken away food. He just doesn't want to eat what we're serving. Yes, he's staying in his room to avoid punishment but we would never deny a kid food. Normally, he comes out of his room within 15 minutes of being sent there. While I'm not sure what's going on here, this is an issue of dealing with a brat, not abuse. I was mostly venting in my first post because I was exhausted from worrying and pissed. I was looking at it as another example of odd teenage behavior. I clearly shouldn't have shared.

FWIW Wanda, I took your first post to mean you were making meals, but he was choosing to be a butt and not eat them, instead sneaking unhealthy snacks into his room. I totally get that, and I think it's good you're standing your ground. Also, he's a teenager, not a young child, and as such also able to make his own sandwich or food out of what is available in the house. It's not like you're locking him in a cage and refusing to feed him. He doesn't get to terrorize you and your husband just because he doesn't want to share the family meal and play video games instead of doing chores. I feel like it's the older equivalent of when little kids hold their breath to get what they want.

I can't believe when some parents will make totally separate meals for each of their kids just to get on their good side. We used to have this one family come into our restaurant for their nine year old daughter who would literally "only eat" our macaroni and cheese. Well, corporate changed the recipe for it to make it healthier and one day the Dad came back into our restaurant screaming about how it was our fault that his kid was starving and no longer would eat. He demanded we bring back the original recipe. I can only imagine what home life looked for them.

lc07 · August 2014

wandajune6 said:

wandajune6 said:

My teen stepson -to-be hasn't left his room since Tuesday. He has been told to stay in his room until he's ready to do his chores. This followed a full for and crying after being reminded that he had already put them off for over a week. He's missed meals, a small party, etc. because he won't clean his room or mow the lawn. We never expected it to go on this long. The stench coming out of his room is scaring the dog. I'm worked about pests from the food he has been sneaking in (no food allowed in bedrooms, I see trails of crumbs/dropped food outside his room). I feel like we should feel guilty but I'm loving the vacation from whining. I love the kid but it's ok to dislike him, right?

This makes it sound like you have not been providing him with meals since Tuesday. If that is the case it is a really good way to bring CPS to your door. And absolutely something his mother could use against his father if she was so inclined.
You're right- it sounded horrible the way I wrote it! He's been eating crap that his mom gave him or that he squirreled away while in his room. He's chosen not to eat meals with us since it wasn't crap. He just got back from a week with his mom and no longer wants to eat anything but fast food. FI is diabetic, the kid is pre-diabetic and I'm watching my sodium so we don't eat it often. Leftovers from several past meals are wrapped up and waiting for him in the kitchen- and I've made some of his favorites lately. The rule is that you eat what is served. He would have been allowed to eat dinner at the table if we wanted. He chose not to eat with us. Don't worry - we're not monsters! We've been trying very hard to get his diet under control and he has fought us every step of the way. We've done everything that his doctor, dietician and psychologist have recommended but it's still a process. He's 15 and 250 lbs. He came home from 10 days with his mom and with 8 new pounds. Diabetes runs in the family and his doc has been worried about the trends in his blood sugar. His mom (illegally) signed him up for free lunches at school without telling us so he gained a ton of weight last year eating 2 lunches every day. We're still trying to get the school lunch revoked so he can eat healthier. His mom lost custody for negligence 8 years ago. She used to have more time with him but has chosen not to see him much over the last year or so. She's the fun parent who imposes no discipline. She has been told about what's going on here. Also, just to make sure there are no concerns- FI called his psychologist yesterday morning and she told us not to worry and that we weren't doing anything wrong. We've been working with her to understand how to discipline him while respecting the issues he is working through. It's just a tough process. We're not awful people- I promise!

*stuck in the box*

I'm glad you clarified this. I was freaked out by your first post, too.

I'm sorry you're all having a difficult time.

SBmini · August 2014

mysticl said:

SBmini said:

mysticl said:

SBmini said:

AddieCake said:

My dad did the put my room in the trash thing once. As soon as he started, I got my ass in gear and cleaned that thing and KEPT it clean.

Yep- I had that happen to me once. If it was on the floor, it was put in big, black trash bags. Cleaning my room turning into a rescue operation to retrieve my things.

@mysticl- the boy is eating. He's sneaking food into his room

That's not the point. The point is are the parents providing him with food or are they denying it and he is forced to sneak it so he can eat? I'm a mandated reporter. If a kid came to me with the information provided in that post I would have to call CPS.

And sorry, but that's part of the problem with the system. The boy has a choice. He can leave his room. All he has to do is clean it and mow the lawn and he gets full privileges again. He's refusing to do those chores so he is accepting the punishment for it- voluntarily. When OP told him he couldn't leave his room until he did his chores, I highly doubt she knew he would turn it into a multi-day stand off. He's trying to break her, to prove that he has more power than her. She has no choice but to stand her ground at this point. That is NOT a Child Protective Services issue! It's a brat issue that is being handled approriately by his parents.

Food is not a privilege, it is a basic right and it is needed for survival. Take the away the tv, the phone, the video games, time with friends, that is all fine. That is the information I would have to act on. Then it would be up to CPS to decide if it met the standard for abuse or not.

I'm sure you are a nice girl and all, but this thread (as well as the frosting on boob comments) makes me think you are fresh out of college, in your first real job and you are all high and mighty because you get to report people to CPS. Good for you. Seriously- I'm happy for you and all, but this is a webforum. And OP is a caring parent who is trying to send a message- not some abusive freak with a kid that has broken ribs because he accidentally dropped something. If CPS is after caring parents trying to send a message then I think the problem here is CPS.

beethery · August 2014

@SBmini‌ lol I think you're mixing up posters/threads

SBmini · August 2014

mysticl said that the bride's friend who smeared frosting on her boobs sexually assaulted her in the weekend thread. By the books- this may be true- but I hightly doubt anyone at the party saw it as such.

mysticl · August 2014

SBmini said:

mysticl said:

SBmini said:

mysticl said:

SBmini said:

AddieCake said:

My dad did the put my room in the trash thing once. As soon as he started, I got my ass in gear and cleaned that thing and KEPT it clean.

Yep- I had that happen to me once. If it was on the floor, it was put in big, black trash bags. Cleaning my room turning into a rescue operation to retrieve my things.

@mysticl- the boy is eating. He's sneaking food into his room

That's not the point. The point is are the parents providing him with food or are they denying it and he is forced to sneak it so he can eat? I'm a mandated reporter. If a kid came to me with the information provided in that post I would have to call CPS.

And sorry, but that's part of the problem with the system. The boy has a choice. He can leave his room. All he has to do is clean it and mow the lawn and he gets full privileges again. He's refusing to do those chores so he is accepting the punishment for it- voluntarily. When OP told him he couldn't leave his room until he did his chores, I highly doubt she knew he would turn it into a multi-day stand off. He's trying to break her, to prove that he has more power than her. She has no choice but to stand her ground at this point. That is NOT a Child Protective Services issue! It's a brat issue that is being handled approriately by his parents.

Food is not a privilege, it is a basic right and it is needed for survival. Take the away the tv, the phone, the video games, time with friends, that is all fine. That is the information I would have to act on. Then it would be up to CPS to decide if it met the standard for abuse or not.

I'm sure you are a nice girl and all, but this thread (as well as the frosting on boob comments) makes me think you are fresh out of college, in your first real job and you are all high and mighty because you get to report people to CPS. Good for you. Seriously- I'm happy for you and all, but this is a webforum. And OP is a caring parent who is trying to send a message- not some abusive freak with a kid that has broken ribs because he accidentally dropped something. If CPS is after caring parents trying to send a message then I think the problem here is CPS.

I'm 39 years old, pregnant with my second child and a stay at home mom. Prior to that I spent about a decade working with abused children. Because I have a degree in Social Work I can still be considered a mandated reporter. I hate calling CPS, however, the law requires that I do it. Even if I know the situation does not meet the standard of abuse I have to make that call or I can face legal action. I never said the woman was an abusive freak. I said that based on the information in her first post it made it sound like the child was not being permitted to eat. She clarified her statement and added more information which showed there was absolutely nothing wrong and I told her that. She even said that I was right that the post made her sound bad. Mandated reporters aren't investigators, they have to take the information they are given and turn it over to the people who do the investigations, even if they know it's a crap complaint. That's why I never provided names unless CPS asked for them.

As for the icing comment. Touching someone without their consent is wrong and touching a woman on her breasts could absolutely be construed as sexual assault. Maybe I'm just touchy on the subject since I have had someone grab my breasts without my consent.

doeydo · August 2014

SBmini said:

mysticl said that the bride's friend who smeared frosting on her boobs sexually assaulted her in the weekend thread. By the books- this may be true- but I hightly doubt anyone at the party saw it as such.

I didn't see what she said, but hell yes it is sexual assault if the woman didn't want her boobs touched by that person smearing icing on them without permission. IDGAF what the other people at the party thought.

doeydo · August 2014

wandajune6 said:

wandajune6 said:

My teen stepson -to-be hasn't left his room since Tuesday. He has been told to stay in his room until he's ready to do his chores. This followed a full for and crying after being reminded that he had already put them off for over a week. He's missed meals, a small party, etc. because he won't clean his room or mow the lawn. We never expected it to go on this long. The stench coming out of his room is scaring the dog. I'm worked about pests from the food he has been sneaking in (no food allowed in bedrooms, I see trails of crumbs/dropped food outside his room). I feel like we should feel guilty but I'm loving the vacation from whining. I love the kid but it's ok to dislike him, right?

This makes it sound like you have not been providing him with meals since Tuesday. If that is the case it is a really good way to bring CPS to your door. And absolutely something his mother could use against his father if she was so inclined.
You're right- it sounded horrible the way I wrote it! He's been eating crap that his mom gave him or that he squirreled away while in his room. He's chosen not to eat meals with us since it wasn't crap. He just got back from a week with his mom and no longer wants to eat anything but fast food. FI is diabetic, the kid is pre-diabetic and I'm watching my sodium so we don't eat it often. Leftovers from several past meals are wrapped up and waiting for him in the kitchen- and I've made some of his favorites lately. The rule is that you eat what is served. He would have been allowed to eat dinner at the table if we wanted. He chose not to eat with us. Don't worry - we're not monsters! We've been trying very hard to get his diet under control and he has fought us every step of the way. We've done everything that his doctor, dietician and psychologist have recommended but it's still a process. He's 15 and 250 lbs. He came home from 10 days with his mom and with 8 new pounds. Diabetes runs in the family and his doc has been worried about the trends in his blood sugar. His mom (illegally) signed him up for free lunches at school without telling us so he gained a ton of weight last year eating 2 lunches every day. We're still trying to get the school lunch revoked so he can eat healthier. His mom lost custody for negligence 8 years ago. She used to have more time with him but has chosen not to see him much over the last year or so. She's the fun parent who imposes no discipline. She has been told about what's going on here. Also, just to make sure there are no concerns- FI called his psychologist yesterday morning and she told us not to worry and that we weren't doing anything wrong. We've been working with her to understand how to discipline him while respecting the issues he is working through. It's just a tough process. We're not awful people- I promise!

How do you know he has gained 8 pounds? Are you weighing him? Any remarks or "helpful" suggestions or anything about weight can be extremely hurtful and work in the opposite way you want it to. After being stick thin until the beginning of high school when I started to gain weight as I was becoming a woman, family members and some counselors got "concerned" with me gaining weight, and I basically took a "fuck you" attitude and ate whatever the heck I felt like after that. Anyways, my point is have healthy food in your house for him to eat (you can't control what he eats at his mom's) and try to get him active (football, hiking, etc.) because that will make him healthier, not necessarily thinner. Other than that, leave the kid alone.

Real life purge

Re: Real life purge

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