On faking calligraphy, an offbeat bridal shower, and asking FILs for money.

Re: On faking calligraphy, an offbeat bridal shower, and asking FILs for money.

• AddieCake member

  

  August 2014

  Recipes, yes, actually bringing food, no. I would have your fiance go to his mother and ask her how much she meant when she said she would contribute. I wouldn't try calligraphy unless you can actually do it.

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• sarahufl member

  

  August 2014

  I would say no to the shower. That is just odd. Recipes are fun, but I wouldn't want it to be potluck.
  
  As far as the $$. I would ask what they are comfortable contributing. Try to pin down a dollar amount and go from there. If they don't give you a specific amount, tell them the quote for one element of the wedding. I would pick a cheaper item and see their reaction. If they want to contribute more, they will say as much.
  
  I would not go balls out and give the most expensive item.
  
  My parents gave us a set dollar amount they were willing to spend, so I made sure to tally up costs and just pass the bill along to them rather than asking them to cut me a check for that dollar amount. I was pretty impressed that we came in right exactly where they said they would contribute.
  

  
  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  August 2014

  I care zero percent about how an envelope is addressed.  And out of all the weddings I have been to in my life not once have people commented on the way the envelope was addressed.  So if you really want to painstakingly try to finagle calligraphy on your envelopes, go for it.  Just know that most likely the majority of your guests will not notice or care about the type of handwriting used.

  
  

  Just say no to the shower idea.  Rude.  Turns it into a potluck which means it is no longer a hosted affair.  Gathering people's favorite recipes is perfectly fine, but asking them to bring the actual dish is a no-no.

  
  

  Have your FI discuss with his parents what they want to contribute and where they would like to see the money go towards.

  
  

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• banana468 member

  

  August 2014

  If you haven't practiced calligraphy I wouldn't try to rush it.   Instead I'd just use your best handwriting for the invitations.

  
  

  I really like the recipe idea for a shower but NOT the dish part. 

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• OnceUponAVine member

  

  August 2014

  As a guest, so long as the invitation is addressed properly I don't really care what type of handwriting it's in.
  
  I've been to a shower where everyone brought their favorite recipe for the bride-to-be and it was a lot of fun but, a potluck is not okay. A bridal shower should be a hosted affair- asking guests to bring food is rude and tacky.
  
  And as far as the future in-laws and gifting money... Have your FI bring it up to them "Mom/Dad, you had mentioned several times wanting to contribute financially to the wedding. Is there a specific amount that you would like to contribute or a specific item that you would like to contribute towards?" That lets them either pick a number or pick an item.

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• wandajune6 member

  

  August 2014

  I went to a shower with recipes as well. We were all sent recipe cards with the invitation and were told to fill them in and bring something to help the bride make it. Some people went with fun kitchen stuff, others brought fun spices, etc. It was fun.
  
  I knew the bride too well and added the phone numbers to local take-out places to the recipe card. She can cook but works far too many hours for anything exciting. I included a bunch of take-out menus and gift cards to a couple of local restaurants. The bride loved it so much that she gave the same gift to a similarly-themed shower for my sister.
  

  

  

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• theartistformerlyknownas member

  

  August 2014

  I found a simple but swirly font online and put my whole guest list in it, then mimicked it by hand onto the envelopes. Worked out fairly well. 

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• ElcaB member

  

  August 2014

  wandajune6 said:

  I went to a shower with recipes as well. We were all sent recipe cards with the invitation and were told to fill them in and bring something to help the bride make it. Some people went with fun kitchen stuff, others brought fun spices, etc. It was fun.
  
  I knew the bride too well and added the phone numbers to local take-out places to the recipe card. She can cook but works far too many hours for anything exciting. I included a bunch of take-out menus and gift cards to a couple of local restaurants. The bride loved it so much that she gave the same gift to a similarly-themed shower for my sister.
  

  You just won the internet. I love this idea and am keeping it tucked away for the day my BFF gets married. 

  

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• KatieinBkln member

  

  August 2014

  I mostly don't notice the handwriting on invitations, UNLESS it is really really pretty. In which case I say, "How pretty!" before throwing the envelope in the trash. So if calligraphy is fun for you and you want to do it, great. If not, it might not be the best use of your time/energy.

  
  

  You're right to decline a potluck shower, but I guess I kind of like the recipe idea! I'm not planning on having much of a registry (too much shit already, tiny NYC apartment) so if anyone wants to throw me a shower I'm planning to have my sister/MOH suggest the recipe idea as an option.

  
  

  And I agree with other's that this is on your FI to talk to his mom about. He can just say, "Mom, you had mentioned a while back that you might want to contribute something else to the wedding--we are so appreciative! Did you have an amount in mind?"

  
  

  This baby knows exactly how I feel

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• ShesSoCold mod

  

  August 2014

  The only time I have discussed envelope handwriting is when my entire family received invitations three weeks before the wedding (and after the RSVP date) because it took the MOB like a thousand years to write all the envelopes. We weren't even B listed - my brother was in the wedding party and he received his the same time we did. They were beautiful, but totally unnecessary and we laughed at it. 

  
  

  Moral of story: timing is more important than handwriting. 

  
  

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• labro member

  

  August 2014

  I think you want to do the calligraphy thing then go for it. I faked it I guess since I didn't get a "real" calligraphy pen...just a calligraphy marker from Hobby Lobby and then followed the basic forms from a calligraphy book. I did some practicing beforehand since I didn't have any actual experience either.

  I hand addressed 83 invitation sets (soooo 166 inner and outer envelopes). It took me a good chunk of time since I'd spend about an hour doing 10 sets. There were some that were easy and others that I had to redo 3 or 4 times because I'd screw up a name or an address. Honestly, it was worth it in the end just for my personal satisfaction that all of my invites were clear, easy to read, and looked really pretty. My day to day handwriting is barely legible and even when I write slowly and carefully I just don't like the look. I don't care that the guests don't care what the address looks like.

  
  

  
  

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• CMGragain member

  

  August 2014

  Calligraphy = beautiful handwriting.  Nothing special about it.  In the old days, EVERYBODY wrote in what is now called "calligraphy".
  
  The shower idea is a bad one.  Don't allow it. 
  
  When someone offers to give you a gift (bar costs), you don't ask them to give you something else unless they ask.
  

  

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