I am not happy about these circumstances with this stupid cat. I think you should know my feelings on the subject going in to this, and I know I'm going to have to change my attitude but I am pissed at the moment.
This might get a little long, but here's the background:
BF's mom moved in with her FI in May. She took her two cats, though it seemed as if her FI did not want them (jokes about making them outdoor cats and whatnot). She did not want to sell her house (she'd only met this guy 6 weeks before moving in and getting engaged, so I think this is her security if something goes wrong). She gave BF and I her house to live in, without paying rent. Which is pretty awesome. Plus it's completely furnished, the rest of our bills are low, and everything's been great.
She calls BF last month sobbing, saying her FI is making her get rid of one of the cats because he doesn't like him and he made a mess. We'll just call him Asshole (the cat, not the FI). Apparently Asshole scratched FI once when he jumped on the bed. And threw up once. And they've had to lock him in another room at night because he's annoying and her FI can't sleep.
I DON'T WANT THIS CAT. He is an asshole. I understand her FI not wanting the cat, because he is an asshole. But it's her damn cat, deal with it! Well she convinced FI to give Asshole another chance, and wouldn't you know, he threw up again! So Asshole came to live with us on Saturday. Despite my protests.
Here's a few reasons why Asshole is an asshole. He gets treats every morning and night. So he wakes his "mommy" up every morning sometime between 430 and 6 because he wants his treats, and he wants them now. I'm not fucking doing that. So far he's been good about it, but if he starts I'll be pissed. I already told BF the cat only gets treats at night now. I think that since were not his pushover "mommy," he might actually leave us alone in the mornings.
He paws at the door if it's closed. I sleep with the door closed. I always have. I feel paranoid when it's open, since there's a big, black gaping hole directly in front of my bed and I don't know what's there. We've had to have it open partially for the Asshole, so he doesn't wake us up by pawing at it. This morning I had a terrible nightmare about something coming in the room, whispering my name, and holding me down. I woke up at some point and experienced what I think is sleep paralysis. I was terrified and couldn't move my legs or call out. Luckily it lasted maybe 10 seconds (seemed like eternity), but I never want to go through that again. I don't have a room I can lock the cat in at night, by the way.
He hisses at everything. If you speak to Asshole, he growls and hisses at you. If you come near his hiding spots, same thing. Last night he was rubbing against BF's leg, while hissing and growling. I don't think I can train this out of him, but geez. He's a weirdo.
He poops in the sink if the bathroom door is left open. So we keep the doors closed (obviously). Before he moved, there were 3 litter boxes here (she used to have 3 cats). 2 in the basement (next to the steps in the hallway), and one on the first floor landing. You would literally open the front door, look up the stairs, and see into the litter box. I hated that. It's nasty. I didn't even like where the other two were. I think they should be in the back room, where guests won't see them. But when Asshole came back, his litter box went next to the basement stairs because BF doesn't think the cat would venture into the backroom. Fine, whatever.
When I got up this morning, the litter box had moved up to the first flood landing. UMM, NO. I was not happy. Apparently Asshole had an Asshole fit and pooped there, so BF moved the box. I know the poop thing is a show of dominance, but I have no clue how to keep the damn cat from doing that. I will not have a litter box where I can see straight into it the moment I walk in the house. Not to mention, it stinks.
The other thing that makes this whole situation suck is that BF and I were going to get a kitten. We were waiting until we were 100% sure we could afford it and any potential vet bills, plus food and litter and whatnot. We wanted to get a feel of all the other bills in the house. We've been here for 3 months, and were probably going to wait a month or two more just to be sure. Well Asshole does not do well with other animals. He was "fine" with the other cats because they lived here before him, but he always attacked them and would not let Sweetheart lay on anyone's lap and would just randomly jump her. We don't think a kitten would be good for him. I want my own little kitty, not this jerk.
I told BF that since we aren't prepared for the expense of a cat, I'm not paying for it. His mom should. Which his mom agreed to, since it's her stupid Asshole. Plus she's about 6 months late on taking him to the vet.
The only good thing: Asshole weighs 20lbs and I can finally put him on the diet the vet has been recommending for ages, before he gets sick like their last cat that wound up at 27lbs and died early.
Not to mention, BF's mom has texted him about 10 times already to see how Asshole is doing. She stopped by yesterday, and when she left the poor cat was meowing so pitifully. He's very attached to her. She found him as a kitten, with no mother to around. She bottle-fed him and everything. Then she spoiled the shit out of him and he became Asshole. The switching of houses twice in 3 months can't be good for him, and I can tell he's stressed because he's got a good deal of dandruff right now (it happens every time he has to go to the vets, which she said was just because of stress).
I promise you I don't yell at him or torture him or anything, but I'm sure he can sense that I'm not happy with him. I know I'm not really helping by being mad, but I can't help it. I don't want this cat. It seems like I'm stuck with him though.
So how do I train this cat? Can you even train a 10 year old cat?