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Is This Rude?

buddysmom80buddysmom80 member
2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
First of all, I'm going to preface this with letting everyone know I'm doing a complete post and run only for the fact that I work in a cube farm now and can't really play on the internet anymore. Anyway, here is my question.

Recently my work team got switched to a new department and lucky me got to move to a whole different campus. I don't do much wedding talk since I don't feel comfortable talking about it and I just met these people. The one person who I report to, we are friends outside of work and FI and I were kicking around the idea of inviting him and his wife because we now have a closer working relationship than we did a month ago.

We don't want to be rude and B-list. We sent the STDs out already, but not the invites (obviously). We have the room in our budget to invite them. Would this be B-listing? Would I ruffle the feathers of my new cube-mates? When they ask about the wedding, I tell them it's a small, intimate gathering. If I had the money in my budget I would invite them all too, but we don't have that big of a budget.

What say you? Do we invite the guy I report to and his wife or not at all? 

TIA!

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image 59 Invited
image 36 Yes
image 2 No
image 21 Unknown
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Re: Is This Rude?

  • xtlxtl member
    First Comment
    edited August 2014

    Hey, just check the thread below, I think your question is quite similar:

     

    http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1036414/question-about-inviting-people-one-month-before-the-wedding#latest

     

    Spoiler alert: Might be the exception to the rule. ;)

     

    Edit: spelling

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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited August 2014
    No, that is not B-listing. B-listing is when you wait to receive back RSVPs and then invite more people as others decline. And if you socialize with him outside of work, it's fine to invite him and not the others, unless you can tell from the work dynamics that it would be an issue. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • JaxInBlueJaxInBlue member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    Since not everyone needs/should get Save the Dates, you're good!  Invite them if you want.  In fact, not sending everyone on your Save the Date is the best way to go because it gives some flexibility in case your plans or budget need to change.  Save the Dates mean someone gets an invite, but someone can also get an invite without receiving a save the date.
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  • RebeccaFlowerRebeccaFlower member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Definitely not b-listing. We actually discourage people from sending STDs to everyone since then they are stuck inviting everyone if there is any unforeseen circumstances that makes them change their plans. 
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  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You're not B-Listing, and you're ok to invite only some people from work. I only invited those I hang out with outside of work (1 person). I had no desire to have any other co-workers there. Just try to limit wedding talk at work, which it already sounds like you're doing.

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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Just make sure that you send the invitation to his house and not hand it to him at work.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    As long as invitations haven't gone out yet, it's not B-listing to send someone an invitation who didn't receive a save-the-date.

    But I agree with @OliveOilsMom that you should send the invitation to his home.  I also think it would be appropriate to minimize wedding talk at your workplace since you're not inviting everyone there.
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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    You don't have to send a save-the-date to every single guest (you actually don't have to send them at all). If there are other people you decide you want to invite after you've sent out STD's, that is totally fine and is not B-listing. 

    As for inviting only this co-worker and not others, I think you're okay there too, especially if you are friends with this guy outside of work. Just don't talk too much about the wedding at work and ask your friend to do the same.
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  • offensivekitten2offensivekitten2 member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Not B-listing. For work, it's best to just not discuss your wedding overly much with people. The less they know, the less they can get offended about, including the one co-worker who is invited.



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  • buddysmom80buddysmom80 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    Thanks everyone for the advice! I didn't send out STDs to everyone, because with my luck my budget would've changed (it hasn't, thankfully!).

    I'll send the invite to his house, his car is known as the bottomless pit of important stuff, so if I gave it to him to work, he would've never brought it home!

    @offensivekitten, the new CWs are asking about wedding details all. the. time. I've become the master of bean-dipping.

    Thanks again!

     Wedding Countdown Ticker




    image 59 Invited
    image 36 Yes
    image 2 No
    image 21 Unknown
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