What things would you ask your grandparents if you got the chance?

jenna8984 · August 2014

A few weeks ago there was a thread about the show "Who do you think you are" where the professional genealogist traces celebrity family trees. And the celebrity is always like "Wow, I wish my grandma had told me about that before she died" or whatever. It got me thinking that I am so fortunate to still have all 4 grandparents and that I really don't know much about them at all, or anything about their parents/ grandparents. I'd love to take a pen or recorder and just ask them questions. Not sure where to even start...what questions would you ask?!

sarawifenow · August 2014

I recently lost my grandfather (mom's dad) who was basically my dad growing up. Hardest thing ever. I am so lucky that I was able to spend so much time with him and got to know everything about him.

Really, I was very lucky to know all of my grandparents very well.

My father was adopted, and while I would never think of my grandparents on my dad's side as anything less than "real", I would love to have gotten the chance to sit down with my biological paternal grandparents and talk about family history. Where did I get my looks from? Where did we come from?

emmaaa · August 2014

Both of dad's parents had died before I was born. My mom's dad divorced her mom when I was a baby and I never met him until right before he died when I was in 4th grade. My mom's mom is still alive but not very affectionate and I rarely see or talk to her.

I'm really cloe to my dad's side of the family. I would have loved to know how his parents met. His dad was a teacher and a principal and a farmer. They used to live about 2 hours away during the week near the school he was a principal at and then come home on the weekends. The whole family went with them (5 total). I would love to talk about that and why he chose to do that.

theartistformerlyknownas · August 2014

I wouldn't ask them anything, just apologize for not valuing my time with them more while I had it. I lost all my grandparents when I was 15-18 and still kind of a jerk. Then I'd let them tell me whatever they wanted.

Have you looked into those "life story" kind of books they can fill in? When I'm not on mobile I can link one in thinking of.

jenna8984 · August 2014

lolo883 said:

I wouldn't ask them anything, just apologize for not valuing my time with them more while I had it. I lost all my grandparents when I was 15-18 and still kind of a jerk. Then I'd let them tell me whatever they wanted. Have you looked into those "life story" kind of books they can fill in? When I'm not on mobile I can link one in thinking of.

Thats's sad, I'm sorry! I haven't ever been a shitty granddaughter but I could have made more of an effort to go see them more often so I plan to do that while I still have them here. I have been one who pawns it off on other people like "well they are the adults, they should have made more effort to call and visit me". But now that I'm adult it's my responsibility also. I was totally wondering if there was some type of book or journal with questions they could fill in!

theartistformerlyknownas · August 2014

Well I wouldn't (and didn't) say I was a shitty granddaughter. :-/ But kids and teenagers are often jerks in the sense that sitting talking about the olden days wasn't always a top priority.

WinstonsGirl · August 2014

I'd get started on a family tree. My parents don't know nearly as much as Granny does, just cos she remembers people my parents don't. I've got 1 Granny left, she's 94 and just as cranky as always, but in a good way. She calls me an old bag and I give it right back to her and then we laugh. She also tells me often to not screw things up with DH cos he's such a nice boy. Either she likes him more than she likes me, or she's worried I'll never find another guy to put up with me.

Inkdancer · August 2014

My Pappy and Grammy (mom's mom's parents) were awesome. Pap was a blacksmith, and bought the first car in the county, effectively putting himself out of business. Gram put herself and all of her sisters through college--in the 1920s. I just wish I had recorded more of their stories. Especially Gram's story about being in the last covered wagon to go west, and Pap's stories about his one-room schoolhouse.

jenna8984 · August 2014

lolo883 said:

Well I wouldn't (and didn't) say I was a shitty granddaughter. :-/ But kids and teenagers are often jerks in the sense that sitting talking about the olden days wasn't always a top priority.

Yea definitely did not mean that you were a shitty granddaughter! Poor choice of words. I was the same as a teen, had no interest in hanging out or talking with them. I have friends who do monthly lunches with their grandma and it's like a second mom and they take them dress shopping and everything. I'm light years away from that relationship and that makes me kinda sad now that I'm older.

climbingsingle · August 2014

I'd ask my grandfather about the war, and courting my grandmother. I'd also ask him about his parents.

Thankfully I'm totally blessed that my grandmother is still alive. She turned 92 in April. I ask her questions about her life all the time. It's really great.

Maggie0829 · August 2014

My Grandfather on my Dad's side I was never really close with. Only after he died did my Dad find out that my Grandfather flew fighter jets in WWII and was in many battles. He also won numerous awards and medals. Even my Dad was shocked to find this out. I think if my Grandfather were alive I would ask him about his time in WWII because that time in history has always interested me and it would have been really cool to hear about it from someone who lived through it.

chibiyui · August 2014

My grandma on my dad's side passed while I was in college. I wish I had learned how to make applesauce from her. Hers was always the best.

lyndausvi · August 2014

I would ask pop-pop more about my grandmother. She died when my dad was 19. He rarely talks about her. I do not recall pop-pop talking about her either All I know is she was an amazing seamstress.

Pop-pop had a lady companion for some 30 something years before he passed. She was my Nana (a seamstress also). She passed away a couple of years ago at age 105. She knew my grandmother also and would talk about my grandmother a little, but not much.

I did ask why they never got married (they lived in the same house). I later found it was for benefit reasons. She had rights to her house until death or got remarried. Now that I think about it I wish I asked her more about her husband (she was a widow). I know he owned car dealerships, but that is all.

Except for my dad's brother, all the other kids combined loved Pop-pop and Nana being together. Nana was in family photos at my parent's wedding. It never occurred to him to exclude her even thought they were not married.

My mom's parents were pretty open people. I can't think of anything on that side. I know about all the illnesses, miscarriages, deaths of young children, etc. Family gatherings always ended up with the older generation telling stories of the past. They were poor, but very happy people who still knew how to host. They had a lot of tragedies (lived during the depression), but they never dwell on the past. They made most out of life. There was lots of laughter. Even our wakes/funerals were/are full of laughter remembering all the good times.

emmyg65 · August 2014

My grandparents famously got married on their first date, but we never got the straight story on why. I mean, it's crazy. And they drove 10+ hours to do it, because they had to go to a state with no waiting period and it was before the Interstate. When they were still alive, I asked them about it, but they acted like it was no big deal and kind of brushed it off.

I would have liked to hear about my other grandparents' courtship from my grandfather's side. My grandmother has talked about it and I know why she fell for him (dashing, educated, world-traveled older man) but I'm curious how he feel in love with her. And I'd like to know about his experiences working at a major, very famous newspaper. Unfortunately, he started going senile when I was a teenager and died 7 years ago.

One of the greatest gifts was writing an oral history of my great aunt's experience in the Navy in World War II for a school assignment. I learned so much about her and my uncle. If you still have close elderly relatives in your lives, talk to them! They have some crazy, funny, heartbreaking stories to tell you.

beethery · August 2014

I wish I'd known my mom's father. I'd love to know who in his family was big on drawing before him.

It's a weird inherited trait that he passed on to my mother and uncle, and I got it, too. He passed away a few years before I was born, and my mom said when I got a handle on my motor skills and started drawing, it freaked her out how much my style was like his. She hasn't really done any artwork since he died, so I've never seen anything she's made, so I didn't get it from that.

Inkdancer · August 2014

chibiyui said:

My grandma on my dad's side passed while I was in college. I wish I had learned how to make applesauce from her. Hers was always the best.

THIS. We used to get together as a family to make apple butter, but the recipe was lost when Gram passed. I am going to do my best to recreate it, because I know a couple of the "tricks" to get it to taste incredible.

southernbelle0915 · August 2014

"What do you wish you knew/did when you were my age?"

And then just stuff about their life. So often I think parents/grandparents try to make conversation about what's going on in the child/grandchild's life. Looking back, I sunk into that too easily. I should have asked more questions about them, their life, their stories. I think you can learn a lot about people just from chit chat about nothing.

wandajune6 · August 2014

I never really knew my dad's parents. His dad died before I was born and his mom went from disinterested in us to Alzheimer's while I was pretty young. She died when I was 18. I never had warm feelings about her but I think I would have loved my grandfather. He was a farm laborer with a 3rd grade education who never lived outside of poverty. I've heard stories about his feelings on economics, race, politics, and religion and think I would have wanted to spend forever talking to him.

I also would love to know more about his family, though I suspect that he wouldn't have shared much as he never did with my dad.

I have both maternal grandparents and both are in their 90's with significant memory loss. The side effect of this is that long-known stories are changing. I think my gramma told a lot of lies to everyone over the years to cover some of the more tragic parts of her life. She had a pretty miserable childhood that she never wanted anyone to know about. I heard bits and pieces from her sister while she was alive that make me suspect that gramma's finally telling the truth but it's very hard to tell. I'd love to know the truth about what happened to her and now I just hear contradictions.

I got lucky about my grandfather's family-- they left Berlin in 1940 (Jewish) and all ended up in different places. A documentarian in Tel Aviv covered part of the family history in a program filmed in the early 60's. None of us have copies but a friend who lives there and volunteers at a Holocaust museum has been working to track it down for us.

arrippa · August 2014

My grandmother, who is still alive, came over from Portugal when she was young. I had asked her that story but I can barely remember it anymore. I should ask her repeat it to me. I would also like to get my hands on the recipes of the Portuguese food she cooked when I was younger.

themuffinman16 · August 2014

When my grandmother died, I asked my grandfather a lot of questions about them when they were younger. "How did they meet?" They were both pumping gas at a gas station, and he had long hair. When he walked by, my grandma shouted to him, "Get a haircut, Mister!" She never thought she would see him, again. Later on that evening, my grandpa went to a party and had no clue my grandmother would be there. She didn't recognize him, as he got a haircut. He saw her from across the room, and said, "I took your advice." And the rest was history. I love that story

emmaaa · August 2014

themuffinman16 said:

When my grandmother died, I asked my grandfather a lot of questions about them when they were younger. "How did they meet?" They were both pumping gas at a gas station, and he had long hair. When he walked by, m grandma shouted to him, "Get a haircut, Mister!" She never thought she would see him, again. Later on that evening, my grandpa went a party and had no clue my grandmother would be there. She didn't recognize him, as he got a haircut. He saw her from across the room, and said, "I took your advice." And the rest was history. I love that story

That is probably the sweetest story I've heard!

ilovecake84 · August 2014

When I was about 8, my mom bought this book:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1617690325?pc_redir=1408508399&robot_redir=1

And had me give it to each of my grandmothers for mother's day. I didn't get the books back until I was 10 or 12, but man was it worth it.

The book includes things like dates their parents got married, where they went to school, how they met my grandfather's, their favourite hobbies, recipes, etc, etc. Plus they each added photos of when they were kids, their weddings, when my parents were babies, family get togethers.

my one grandmother kept a daily journal and a journal of more important events. After she died, my parents had it photocopied so that each of my siblings and I would have a copy. We also have copies of diaries of my great grandfather and great great grandfather on my mom's side.

Makes me think I should keep a diary...

VulgarGirl · August 2014

My paternal grandparents don't really speak to me anymore. Which really sucks, that side of the family is very interesting and I have many curiosities about our history. My dad has told me what he knows, but they don't really talk to him much either. I know my grandmother came to the states when she was very young (toddler or infant), and my grandfather came over when he was a teenager. Grandmother's family had money and it's always been vague about how that money came to be but it's been heavily implied it was less then legal means. Grandfather however had come from a very poor family in Ireland, and had been sent to the states to try to better (or ran away to the states, some vagueness there). And I know he had some less then legal dealings, eventually met Grandmother and convinced her to marry him. And that's all I know. So I'd love to be able to talk to them about their childhoods, what it was like being immigrants, what they went through to get the American dream, but the chances of that happening are slim.

My maternal grandma and I have a great relationship though. She loves to tell me stories about immigrating from France, about running away from an abusive home, about being a teen mom, I love to ask her questions about what it was like for her growing up and things she went through. She doesn't talk a lot about her parents, they sent her over here for a better life with someone they knew who ended up being horribly abusive to her. She blames them a little even though she acknowledges they were just trying their best.

My maternal grandpa I've never known. And we aren't really sure how to track him down either. Grandma has always been a bit vague on how exactly they met. From what I understand though he was considerbly older then her when she got pregnant and was possibly already married. But he sounds like he was really interesting. He was bi-racial (half African-american, half white), though he usually denied he was white all, and was very involved in the civil rights movement and the freedom riders. I'd love to talk to him about what it was like to live like that back then. I could imagine choosing to hide half of who I was, but I can understand how it might have been "easier" to just be one or the other, not half of both. Also yes, this means I am 1/8 African American. And all of it is in my ass. My Irish side took care of my skin.

I love to hear people talk about how it was for them growing up in different time periods. It's not so much about family history for me. I mean I'm curious about where I came from. But I'm curious about who my grandparents where. What did they do as teenagers? What was life like for them? How much of what they went through is similar to what I went through? And also...what kind of cool shit did you do because dude ya'll did some cool shit!

buttercup1958 · August 2014

I didn't know my grandparents that well since they lived far away from me. I met my mom's dad when I was younger but he died when I was 2 so I guess that doesn't really count. I loved my grandmother but she died when I was 12 so I didn't get to know her that much either.

I would have asked them how Holland was like (that"s where they were originally from). I would have also asked my grandpa how he was able to illegally jump ship and his time out in sea. I would have ask my grandma how to bake all the wonderful things she use to make.

My dad's parents I don't know much about either. They weren't the most interested grandparents. I found out a lot more of my grandpa when he died while I was in highschool. I found out he was station in Japan during WWII. I would have asked him what Japan was like. I love to travel so that would be so interesting.

My grandma is still alive and I think she will outlive us all. We didn't get along while I was younger but we are much better now. I really admire her for her stubbornness and her willingness to work. I wish I can know more about her but she has her quirks. Like she never accepts presents. She always sends them back because she doesn't need the "clutter". My parents say I'm like her and I'm starting to think that's a good thing ha.

LadyMillil · August 2014

Ditto PPs with the questions about growing up and how they met. I spent a lot of time with all my grandparents growing up so I feel like I know a lot about them already.

I would love to be able to talk to DH's grandparents, but they all passed away before we met. His paternal grandparents lived in Switzerland during WWII, his maternal grandmother lived in the Netherlands under Nazi occupation and his paternal grandfather was a POW in SE Asia during WWII. It would be really interesting to hear all their stories.

hellosweetie1015 · August 2014

ilovecake84 said:

When I was about 8, my mom bought this book: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1617690325?pc_redir=1408508399&robot_redir=1 And had me give it to each of my grandmothers for mother's day. I didn't get the books back until I was 10 or 12, but man was it worth it. The book includes things like dates their parents got married, where they went to school, how they met my grandfather's, their favourite hobbies, recipes, etc, etc. Plus they each added photos of when they were kids, their weddings, when my parents were babies, family get togethers. my one grandmother kept a daily journal and a journal of more important events. After she died, my parents had it photocopied so that each of my siblings and I would have a copy. We also have copies of diaries of my great grandfather and great great grandfather on my mom's side. Makes me think I should keep a diary...

I will be buying that book for my kids.

My grandfather on my mom's side died before I was born, so I never got to know him. I don't know if I would have asked him anything or not; I just think I would have liked to meet him. From everything I've heard, he was a wonderful, loving man. My MeMa got to spend a lot of time with us, especially after we moved back to AL, but - being young, I was 15 when she died - I never thought to ask her about much. I loved hearing her stories, but if I could ask her anything, I'd ask her what growing up was like, and ask her about the people she remembers that my mother doesn't. I'd ask her how she met Papaw. I'd ask her where her family was from. I dunno, I want to know a lot that I never did.

If I'd been braver, I would have asked my dad's dad about his parents. They were a touchy subject, though, and I only recently found out why. I wish I'd been brave enough to ask about them though.

My Mawmaw and my great-aunt-slash-grandmother are still alive, thankfully, and I kind of just let them talk. They're both really willing to tell once you get them started. Recently I found out that my great aunt worked with this lady Bertha Gossett Hill. Little tidbits like that are fascinating to me, even though that particular tidbit is also a little weird.

jenna8984 · August 2014

@lyndausvi I would just like to mention that my mom's parents are grandma & grandpa but my dad's parents are nana & pop-pop! Same as you!

themuffinman16 · August 2014

CaitTDid23 said:

ilovecake84 said:

When I was about 8, my mom bought this book: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1617690325?pc_redir=1408508399&robot_redir=1 And had me give it to each of my grandmothers for mother's day. I didn't get the books back until I was 10 or 12, but man was it worth it. The book includes things like dates their parents got married, where they went to school, how they met my grandfather's, their favourite hobbies, recipes, etc, etc. Plus they each added photos of when they were kids, their weddings, when my parents were babies, family get togethers. my one grandmother kept a daily journal and a journal of more important events. After she died, my parents had it photocopied so that each of my siblings and I would have a copy. We also have copies of diaries of my great grandfather and great great grandfather on my mom's side. Makes me think I should keep a diary...

I will be buying that book for my kids.

My grandfather on my mom's side died before I was born, so I never got to know him. I don't know if I would have asked him anything or not; I just think I would have liked to meet him. From everything I've heard, he was a wonderful, loving man. My MeMa got to spend a lot of time with us, especially after we moved back to AL, but - being young, I was 15 when she died - I never thought to ask her about much. I loved hearing her stories, but if I could ask her anything, I'd ask her what growing up was like, and ask her about the people she remembers that my mother doesn't. I'd ask her how she met Papaw. I'd ask her where her family was from. I dunno, I want to know a lot that I never did.

If I'd been braver, I would have asked my dad's dad about his parents. They were a touchy subject, though, and I only recently found out why. I wish I'd been brave enough to ask about them though.

My Mawmaw and my great-aunt-slash-grandmother are still alive, thankfully, and I kind of just let them talk. They're both really willing to tell once you get them started. Recently I found out that my great aunt worked with this lady Bertha Gossett Hill. Little tidbits like that are fascinating to me, even though that particular tidbit is also a little weird.

I love that someone else calls their grandparents MawMaw and PawPaw.

Peaseblossom55 · August 2014

All of my grandparents have passed. I wish I could just spend more time with them, my paternal grandpa passed away before I was born I wish I could have asked my grandma more about him.

H's grandma will be 97 this week and she is in great shape about a year ago H went by to fix her computer and we got to talking and it was so fascinating hearing some of her stories ( one was during a discussion of knitting she mentioned a blanket she was making, and she stopped because Pearl Harbor was bombed and the war started....).

holyguacamole79 · August 2014

I would ask my paternal grandma why she kept smoking when she knew she already had cancer. She died when I was 10 and I still miss her 25 years later.

CMGragain · August 2014

I am the family genealogy diva. I have researched both my family and DH's family history, which really helps explain a lot of the craziness.
Genealogy is an addicting hobby, and once the bug bites, it never stops. I am a member of the DAR (The Daughters of the American Revolution), an early feminist group that promotes patriotism, historic preservation, and genealogical research.
My advice - go for the information while you can!

Much of the wedding tradition I learned was from my paternal grandmother, born in 1897. Definitely pre-wedding industry!

What things would you ask your grandparents if you got the chance?

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