Chit Chat

Am I the only one who

thinks this woman (clicky)  was only in it for the benefits?     

I mean your husband cheated on you within 24 hours of marriage and you are complaining about his salary being cut?  Divorce his ass and move on.






What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 

Re: Am I the only one who

  • This sounds all kinds of fucked up. 

    I do find it interesting that cheating, at least with another army spouse, is punished monetarily. Kind of a middle finger to your spouse and kids.

    As a country, we really suck at this whole "family values" thing.
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  • It appears that they get demoted, which in military worlds means pay cut.    @kssmmg can clarify for us.

    I found that interesting also.    Part of me feels it's wrong for the family's sake.  But then again the employers employee a person, not a family.    The employee knows the rules and chooses to break them there are consequences.  That is the case for everyone employed.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Wow, she sounds like a peach.

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  • chibiyuichibiyui member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited August 2014
    lyndausvi said:
    It appears that they get demoted, which in military worlds means pay cut.    @kssmmg can clarify for us.

    I found that interesting also.    Part of me feels it's wrong for the family's sake.  But then again the employers employee a person, not a family.    The employee knows the rules and chooses to break them there are consequences.  That is the case for everyone employed.
    I don't necessarily disagree, I just think this is........odd. The military has some odd stuff it gets uppity about. Like the whole womens hairstyles thing a month ago. Or sexual orientation, though thankfully that's at least not official now. And consensual, though douchey, banging of another privates (tee hee) wife is punishable, but seems like every other week there's some rape cover-up that comes to light. 

    This is another one of those I don't like anyone involved kinda stories. As such, I think it needs puppies.
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  • chibiyui said:
    lyndausvi said:
    It appears that they get demoted, which in military worlds means pay cut.    @kssmmg can clarify for us.

    I found that interesting also.    Part of me feels it's wrong for the family's sake.  But then again the employers employee a person, not a family.    The employee knows the rules and chooses to break them there are consequences.  That is the case for everyone employed.
    I don't necessarily disagree, I just think this is........odd. The military has some odd stuff it gets uppity about. Like the whole womens hairstyles thing a month ago. Or sexual orientation, though thankfully that's at least not official now. And consensual, though douchey, banging of another privates (tee hee) wife is punishable, but seems like every other week there's some rape cover-up that comes to light. 

    This is another one of those I don't like anyone involved kinda stories. As such, I think it needs puppies.

    I kinda get it, for exactly the reasons she mentioned - these guys need to trust each other with their lives. There's no room for tomfoolery like this when you're in such close quarters and such intense situations as soldiers at war. There needs to be a pretty compelling reason not to do shitty things like bone your cohort's wife, and few things are as compelling as money and power.

    I think her problem was seeing HIS money as HER money a little more strongly than maybe was warranted? Like, if she hadn't married him for the doubled paycheck and benefits, maybe she would have been more upset by the fact that HE CHEATED ON HER than the fact that his her paycheck would be diminished by his demotion.

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  • chibiyui said:
    lyndausvi said:
    It appears that they get demoted, which in military worlds means pay cut.    @kssmmg can clarify for us.

    I found that interesting also.    Part of me feels it's wrong for the family's sake.  But then again the employers employee a person, not a family.    The employee knows the rules and chooses to break them there are consequences.  That is the case for everyone employed.
    I don't necessarily disagree, I just think this is........odd. The military has some odd stuff it gets uppity about. Like the whole womens hairstyles thing a month ago. Or sexual orientation, though thankfully that's at least not official now. And consensual, though douchey, banging of another privates (tee hee) wife is punishable, but seems like every other week there's some rape cover-up that comes to light. 

    This is another one of those I don't like anyone involved kinda stories. As such, I think it needs puppies.

    I kinda get it, for exactly the reasons she mentioned - these guys need to trust each other with their lives. There's no room for tomfoolery like this when you're in such close quarters and such intense situations as soldiers at war. There needs to be a pretty compelling reason not to do shitty things like bone your cohort's wife, and few things are as compelling as money and power.

    I think her problem was seeing HIS money as HER money a little more strongly than maybe was warranted? Like, if she hadn't married him for the doubled paycheck and benefits, maybe she would have been more upset by the fact that HE CHEATED ON HER than the fact that his her paycheck would be diminished by his demotion.


    ****** SITB ******

    Yes.    IDK, I can't put my finger on it, but she seems more upset that he got a pay reduction than he was cheating.  They have only been married 24 hours.  Not really enough time to get use to some lifestyle she now needs to give up. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • lyndausvi said:
    chibiyui said:
    lyndausvi said:
    It appears that they get demoted, which in military worlds means pay cut.    @kssmmg can clarify for us.

    I found that interesting also.    Part of me feels it's wrong for the family's sake.  But then again the employers employee a person, not a family.    The employee knows the rules and chooses to break them there are consequences.  That is the case for everyone employed.
    I don't necessarily disagree, I just think this is........odd. The military has some odd stuff it gets uppity about. Like the whole womens hairstyles thing a month ago. Or sexual orientation, though thankfully that's at least not official now. And consensual, though douchey, banging of another privates (tee hee) wife is punishable, but seems like every other week there's some rape cover-up that comes to light. 

    This is another one of those I don't like anyone involved kinda stories. As such, I think it needs puppies.

    I kinda get it, for exactly the reasons she mentioned - these guys need to trust each other with their lives. There's no room for tomfoolery like this when you're in such close quarters and such intense situations as soldiers at war. There needs to be a pretty compelling reason not to do shitty things like bone your cohort's wife, and few things are as compelling as money and power.

    I think her problem was seeing HIS money as HER money a little more strongly than maybe was warranted? Like, if she hadn't married him for the doubled paycheck and benefits, maybe she would have been more upset by the fact that HE CHEATED ON HER than the fact that his her paycheck would be diminished by his demotion.


    ****** SITB ******

    Yes.    IDK, I can't put my finger on it, but she seems more upset that he got a pay reduction than he was cheating.  They have only been married 24 hours.  Not really enough time to get use to some lifestyle she now needs to give up. 
    I mean, she called him out in an internet video. Doesn't really scream heartbroken newlywed to me, as much as attention whoring gold digger who got burned.

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  • yeah. i would be the heartbroken newlywed who would be screaming he got what deserved (a demotion and pay cut) by not only messing around, but messing around with a "friend's" wife.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • So, wait, she outed his cheating? If she was a gold digger, why would she out him?
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    Anniversary
  • chibiyui said:

    So, wait, she outed his cheating? If she was a gold digger, why would she out him?

    That's why I added attention whore to my assessment. :)

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  • H has a coworker who is in the military who was caught cheating with a woman whose husband was a lower ranking officer, although not a subordinate.  He got demoted at least one rank if not two (not sure) and got in big trouble. I'm sure that ended up being a pay cut for him.

    But yea, seems she was maybe in it for the benefits. That whole story just seems odd.
  • chibiyui said:
    lyndausvi said:
    It appears that they get demoted, which in military worlds means pay cut.    @kssmmg can clarify for us.

    I found that interesting also.    Part of me feels it's wrong for the family's sake.  But then again the employers employee a person, not a family.    The employee knows the rules and chooses to break them there are consequences.  That is the case for everyone employed.
    I don't necessarily disagree, I just think this is........odd. The military has some odd stuff it gets uppity about. Like the whole womens hairstyles thing a month ago. Or sexual orientation, though thankfully that's at least not official now. And consensual, though douchey, banging of another privates (tee hee) wife is punishable, but seems like every other week there's some rape cover-up that comes to light. 

    This is another one of those I don't like anyone involved kinda stories. As such, I think it needs puppies.

    I kinda get it, for exactly the reasons she mentioned - these guys need to trust each other with their lives. There's no room for tomfoolery like this when you're in such close quarters and such intense situations as soldiers at war. There needs to be a pretty compelling reason not to do shitty things like bone your cohort's wife, and few things are as compelling as money and power.

    I think her problem was seeing HIS money as HER money a little more strongly than maybe was warranted? Like, if she hadn't married him for the doubled paycheck and benefits, maybe she would have been more upset by the fact that HE CHEATED ON HER than the fact that his her paycheck would be diminished by his demotion.

    SITB:
    You mean, other than it being a shitty thing to do? Reason enough for most people.
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  • edited August 2014
    ^ it should be, but it is often a really big problem in the military. Being away from spouses that long, or having an ego trip, thinking you can get away with it, idk. Not saying it's everyone, and CERTAINLY not saying it's justified, but I'm sure that policy didn't come out of nowhere. Hell my parents were only National Guard and they said affairs were rampant on base just during summer camp!

    ETA I don't mean "only" like it's inferior, just that the experience they were speaking to was peacetime, stateside, no "been away from home for a year" to have as an excuse.

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  • chibiyui said:
    So, wait, she outed his cheating? If she was a gold digger, why would she out him?


    **** SITB ****

    It's possible she knew he would get in trouble, but not know about the pay cut.  Pay cut might be the reason for her ending up divorcing  him and not the cheating itself.

    The whole thing is weird.   Even her comments about be kind-of in love so why not get married?  She just seems like someone in for the benefits. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Ms Rutledge, who was a week shy of her 22nd birthday when she tied the knot, also said that many people in the military get married because of the financial benefits offered.
    'It just makes sense. If they were thinking of getting married, they're just like, "Why don't we go ahead and do it?" because you can almost double your paycheck. ... So if you're gonna make more and you're already kind of in love, why not get married? I know it sounds terrible, but it's true.'
    As for the other couple, 'This man and his wife did not receive any punishment,' Ms Rutledge said. 
    'They are still married, actually.'

    Yeah, definitely in it for the benefits.   
    Why would the other couple be punished?  The man was the solider and didn't do anything wrong.  The military can't punish him for his civilian wife's infidelity. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • lyndausvi said:
    chibiyui said:
    So, wait, she outed his cheating? If she was a gold digger, why would she out him?


    **** SITB ****

    It's possible she knew he would get in trouble, but not know about the pay cut.  Pay cut might be the reason for her ending up divorcing  him and not the cheating itself.

    The whole thing is weird.   Even her comments about be kind-of in love so why not get married?  She just seems like someone in for the benefits. 
    I agree she probably was, but it sounds like he was too. Like I said earlier, I don't like anyone in this story, seems like they're all assholes.

    More puppies.

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