Chit Chat

Stupid facebook, studpid people (rant)

So, first of all, I love facebook.  It's how I stay in touch with my large family and friend network spread across the country.

I also use the messenger thingy to talk to a bunch of my far away family members.

One of the members, my cousin "M" recently split with the mother of his children.  She is the type who aired ALL the dirty laundry on FB, badmouthing my cousin and generally being dramatic.  I was very annoyed at what she was saying (super ugly things about my cousin), but I don't engage in fb drama like that, so I let it be.

I ended up messaging with M about wedding stuff a couple days later.  I basically said a longer version of what's stated above, and I used some very choice language.  I do not cuss on fb, but our private messages are another story. 

M took a screenshot of our conversation and posted it to FB!!!!!!!!!!  GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!  I am mortified that my private thoughts were put in public like that. I guess he did it yesterday afternoon, and I didn't see it until late last night when the whole world had already noticed :(

My only solace is in the fact that if anyone with half a brain reads it they can see that what I am saying (don't air dirty laundry on fb) is the opposite of what he did.

/end rant/




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Re: Stupid facebook, studpid people (rant)

  • So, first of all, I love facebook.  It's how I stay in touch with my large family and friend network spread across the country.

    I also use the messenger thingy to talk to a bunch of my far away family members.

    One of the members, my cousin "M" recently split with the mother of his children.  She is the type who aired ALL the dirty laundry on FB, badmouthing my cousin and generally being dramatic.  I was very annoyed at what she was saying (super ugly things about my cousin), but I don't engage in fb drama like that, so I let it be.

    I ended up messaging with M about wedding stuff a couple days later.  I basically said a longer version of what's stated above, and I used some very choice language.  I do not cuss on fb, but our private messages are another story. 

    M took a screenshot of our conversation and posted it to FB!!!!!!!!!!  GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!  I am mortified that my private thoughts were put in public like that. I guess he did it yesterday afternoon, and I didn't see it until late last night when the whole world had already noticed :(

    My only solace is in the fact that if anyone with half a brain reads it they can see that what I am saying (don't air dirty laundry on fb) is the opposite of what he did.

    /end rant/

    Time to pick up the phone!
  • What a dick move! Ugh.

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  • what an ass.  I hope others pick up on that also.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • What the fuck!? I just don't understand people. 

    /walks out to put Bailey's in my coffee
  • lurkergirllurkergirl member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited August 2014
    Thankfully he can't tag me, and it's not posted on my wall, so it isn't like my entire friend list saw it, but our mutual family still all saw it.  Based on the comments I have read, they seem to just be judging him.  Nobody has mentioned me at all!


    eta: words




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  • WOW!

    You would think people would have common sense... but you'd be wrong.

    This is a good reminder for me that my mother always said never put anything in writing!  Tough for me since I hate talking on the phone, and I do the chat thing all day! 

    Oh man, if some of my chats were made public.........

    I'm glad people can see M was being an ass posting that! 

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  • Wow that sucks, what sort of recognition is he trying to get by putting it all out there? That wasn't a very nice thing to do. It's not too late to ask him to take it down? At least he'll know not to do that again!
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  • An ex-friend of mine had charges pressed against her and lost her public service job for posting similar things about her ex-BIL on FB. I don't understand why people think it's a good idea to post certain things on social media. It usually makes the poster look bad, not the person they are trash talking.

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  • Wow that sucks, what sort of recognition is he trying to get by putting it all out there? That wasn't a very nice thing to do. It's not too late to ask him to take it down? At least he'll know not to do that again!
    He posted it with the tagline, "Good to know when you have real family" or something like that.  I guess it was supposed to be a dig at the ex.  She is apparently already living with someone else.  Of course this is all over fb. THAT"S NOT WHAT FB IS FOR, PEOPLE!!

    I saw it several hours later, and I guess all my family was on earlier and had already seen and commented on it. 

    He is on a dramatic roll making lots of posts, so it's already pretty well buried at this point. 

    I haven't contacted him yet because I'm still pretty angry, so I need to cool down a bit.  And I'm not going to comment because that will just push it up in the news feed.




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  • Wow that sucks, what sort of recognition is he trying to get by putting it all out there? That wasn't a very nice thing to do. It's not too late to ask him to take it down? At least he'll know not to do that again!
    He posted it with the tagline, "Good to know when you have real family" or something like that.  I guess it was supposed to be a dig at the ex.  She is apparently already living with someone else.  Of course this is all over fb. THAT"S NOT WHAT FB IS FOR, PEOPLE!!

    I saw it several hours later, and I guess all my family was on earlier and had already seen and commented on it. 

    He is on a dramatic roll making lots of posts, so it's already pretty well buried at this point. 

    I haven't contacted him yet because I'm still pretty angry, so I need to cool down a bit.  And I'm not going to comment because that will just push it up in the news feed.
    Yes you're probably right to cool down a little but you HAVE to let him know that in the future it will be unacceptable to use you as a leverage to get at his wife. It's quite immature and unnecessary. 
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  • Wow that sucks, what sort of recognition is he trying to get by putting it all out there? That wasn't a very nice thing to do. It's not too late to ask him to take it down? At least he'll know not to do that again!
    He posted it with the tagline, "Good to know when you have real family" or something like that.  I guess it was supposed to be a dig at the ex.  She is apparently already living with someone else.  Of course this is all over fb. THAT"S NOT WHAT FB IS FOR, PEOPLE!!

    I saw it several hours later, and I guess all my family was on earlier and had already seen and commented on it. 

    He is on a dramatic roll making lots of posts, so it's already pretty well buried at this point. 

    I haven't contacted him yet because I'm still pretty angry, so I need to cool down a bit.  And I'm not going to comment because that will just push it up in the news feed.
    Yes you're probably right to cool down a little but you HAVE to let him know that in the future it will be unacceptable to use you as a leverage to get at his wife. It's quite immature and unnecessary. 
    Oh, yes, I will definitely be addressing it!  But in addition to my anger, he is clearly very emotional too.  Even if I call him (since clearly our private texts aren't private), I don't want there to be another post about me in any way.  Thankfully it's Saturday, and newsfeeds are filling with people AWing their fun weekends!




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  • Ugh, I'm sorry. He shouldn't have used you like that and involved you in his breakup.

    The things people say on Facebook never cease to amaze me. (See: Lamebook).
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  • Ugh. It's one thing to be so raw emotionally but you need to be smart. If that's in FB, aside from looking like an assturd lawyers will eat that crap up.
  • Thanks for the support, ladies! 

    You have all been so kind and welcoming and patient (I am new to the whole forum thing), and I am glad that I joined this community :)

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  • banana468 said:
    Ugh. It's one thing to be so raw emotionally but you need to be smart. If that's in FB, aside from looking like an assturd lawyers will eat that crap up.
    I don't think there is anything slanderous or illegal.  Just ugly and dramatic :/  And frankly, I don't see lawyers ever being involved.




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  • banana468 said:

    Ugh. It's one thing to be so raw emotionally but you need to be smart. If that's in FB, aside from looking like an assturd lawyers will eat that crap up.

    I don't think there is anything slanderous or illegal.  Just ugly and dramatic :/  And frankly, I don't see lawyers ever being involved.


    You never know. I'm not saying that he's doing anything illegal - just that if she gets an attorney, what he says publicly can be a statement of his character.
  • banana468 said:
    Ugh. It's one thing to be so raw emotionally but you need to be smart. If that's in FB, aside from looking like an assturd lawyers will eat that crap up.
    I don't think there is anything slanderous or illegal.  Just ugly and dramatic :/  And frankly, I don't see lawyers ever being involved.
    If they get divorced, it sounds like it will be a fight, and if it's a fight, there WILL be lawyers involved - and the ugly, dramatic Facebook posts are like crack to them. Seriously, every single one of our contested divorces has a file for ugly, dramatic Facebook posts made by the other party. Just because they aren't slanderous or illegal doesn't make them safe or smart to post. In a contested divorce, it is ALL about proving you're the poor, broken-down party and the other party is the entire reason the marriage failed.

    I love the drama that contested divorces give me during the day, but I hate the way people treat other people in the midst of them. 
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  • banana468 said:
    banana468 said:
    Ugh. It's one thing to be so raw emotionally but you need to be smart. If that's in FB, aside from looking like an assturd lawyers will eat that crap up.
    I don't think there is anything slanderous or illegal.  Just ugly and dramatic :/  And frankly, I don't see lawyers ever being involved.
    You never know. I'm not saying that he's doing anything illegal - just that if she gets an attorney, what he says publicly can be a statement of his character.
    Fair point.  I think I will let them deal with it and just stay the heck out and keep my opinions to myself :)

    It's really sad that there are kids involved.  I'm sure you'll all be shocked to know that the paternity of baby girl is being questioned. 

    Sometimes I miss that side of my family.  Then I am reminded why I'm glad we live far away.




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  • banana468 said:
    Ugh. It's one thing to be so raw emotionally but you need to be smart. If that's in FB, aside from looking like an assturd lawyers will eat that crap up.
    I don't think there is anything slanderous or illegal.  Just ugly and dramatic :/  And frankly, I don't see lawyers ever being involved.
    If they get divorced, it sounds like it will be a fight, and if it's a fight, there WILL be lawyers involved - and the ugly, dramatic Facebook posts are like crack to them. Seriously, every single one of our contested divorces has a file for ugly, dramatic Facebook posts made by the other party. Just because they aren't slanderous or illegal doesn't make them safe or smart to post. In a contested divorce, it is ALL about proving you're the poor, broken-down party and the other party is the entire reason the marriage failed.

    I love the drama that contested divorces give me during the day, but I hate the way people treat other people in the midst of them.

    *STUCK*

    They are not married, so no divorce.  They are also poor, but I know she thinks our family has money (they don't), so that's where I see there being issues.

    On the plus side, he loves his kids dearly, and as dramatic as he's being, I truly think--hope, at least--that he will ultimately do what's in their best interest.




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  • Drama sucks.  Sorry you're dealing with this.  And it's really sad that there are kids involved.  Facebook is not your personal diary, people.  


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  • I have a few family members that are FB drama queens... it sounds like your cousin is maybe a bit passive aggressive and had the same feelings you did, but it made him feel better to make you say them and not him. 

    I hope you did what your signature is doing to cheer you up:)
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  • So I laid low and avoided fb yesterday.  I am relieved to see that he has filled his feed with happy pictures of him with the kids.  I strongly suspect that my grandpa (who is like our patriarch and he and my grandma are the glue that holds the whole family together) said something to M about the inappropriate sharing.

    But wait, there's more!  You lovely ladies were right.  There is also a comment (directly, not on the post) from my other cousin, M's older sister, saying that she will send him a check and retain him "the best attorney in town" to make sure he keeps his kids.  Yes, let's please keep hashing this out on fb.  I'm OUT!




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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited August 2014
    child custody attorneys are all over FB for this kind of shit.    It's better to not say anything at all.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • lurkergirllurkergirl member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited August 2014
    lyndausvi said:
    child custody attorneys are all over FB for this kind of shit.    It's better to not say anything at all.
    Agreed.  I am done with it.






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