It really irritates me. I have an older sister who is JUST like my father. She has walked in and out of my life several times. This past time, I put my foot down. I will NEVER let her back into my life. I know there will be social occasions where we will have to be in the same room, but I am hoping that room is full of other people.
My step-mom has a really good relationship with her sisters and can't fathom why we don't have a relationship with her. So she tries to arrange get togethers like we are kids and have somehow forgotten what we dislike about each other. My step-mom... I love her, but she inserts her nose where it does not belong. She told me I should invite her to my wedding. I said, absolutely not. I told her if that was the stipulation for her buying me a dress, I will get my own dress. My wedding should be the day that I am over-the-moon happy. Not a day where I am trying to force contentious relationships into something it is not. She backed down and told me she would, still, buy me the dress.
My step-mom, also, shows my one year old nephew pictures of my older sister's child and says, "That is your cousin." No, it's not! Why would you confuse a two year old like that? My cat is more of a cousin to him than my sister's daughter. My sister and I both get irritated with this.
Tomorrow, my step-mom is having a picnic, but only invited 10 people. That's a small crowd, for an estranged relationship. I was supposed to show my relatives my wedding video, tomorrow, but now that my older sister is coming.... i would rather die.
The last letter she sent to me said that neither my sister nor I would EVER have a husband because we don't know what it's like to always put a husband first. And we would die alone. I told her, that a husband comes first sometimes... unless he is wrong. Then, privately, as his wife, you should be able to tell him you disagree with him. You don't always put your husband first. Sometimes you can put yourself first. Sometimes your husband, and sometimes your family. A healthy life is about balance. Just because I am married, i will not blankly stare at a moron and tell him he is right..(her husband, not mine)
I told her, if putting a man first means not being allowed to know how much money is in our bank account, I would rather die a spinster. I told her if putting a man first is having to unload candy wrappers at my house because her husband would lose it if he finds them in her purse.... I would rather die an old maid. If I have to say "no dear", when he says, are you still going to eat that after you've been porking up, I'd rather have my tongue chopped off. To me marriage is not submission, it is an equal. One can be wrong, and you should be his equal to tell him when he is breaching boundaries. And he should be able to talk to you that way as well.
I don't want a woman telling me I will never get married, because men are threatened by outspoken women, and I will die alone. This woman should not be watching my wedding video. I know my step-mom will try to get her to watch it as if there is some way for us to unburn this bridge. I absolutely hate her. I hate that she is a puppet to her abusive husband and I am disposable to her, because he is threatened by a woman who tells her man when he is in the wrong. there is a reason she wasn't invited to the wedding. She should not share in my day and watch my video with me, as if she was ever happy for me. Am I being petty about her watching my video? I know she will see it, someway, but I just can't have someone watch my special moment with me and shit on it. She wasn't invited because I did not want her with me on that day. Her husband can tell her to stop talking to me, and I should just wait idly by, until they need money, and coincidentally, I become an awesome person, again? Do I have the right to ask my step-mom, politely, to not show my wedding video with her there?