"We wanted to do it for real this time!"
A girl I went to HS with and who I’m FB friends with had a baby earlier this year and then a few months later married the baby’s father in a simple courthouse wedding. She even posted a very adorable picture of her, her new husband, holding up their baby and the certificate and showing their new wedding bands, and a caption that said “Guess what? We just got married!!” I thought it was great.
Flash forward to this morning when I log onto FB and see picture after picture of her semi-lavish, OOT bachelorette party, bride-to-be sash and all. Saw one comment under a picture of someone saying “congrats! Didn’t know you were having a wedding!”, girl responded with "we wanted to do it for real this time!" Went onto TK to "find a couple + registry" and sure enough, her and her husband are registered for a “wedding” this fall.
I know this topic has been beaten to death already and I know I’m snarking extra hard because I haven’t had my second cup of coffee yet. So what will the caption for her "wedding" picture say? "Guess what? We booked a date and created a registry so that our family and friends would feel obligated to buy us gifts while I wear a white dress and eat cake!"
Re: "We wanted to do it for real this time!"
Saying, "for real" after saying, "we're married" really grinds my gears.
I dare you to post something like, "Wait, I'm confused, what wasn't real about that marriage certificate you posted way back when?"
I know I'm preaching to the choir, but I find it just disgusting that some people have this attitude that it's not a REAL wedding if there wasn't a poofy white dress, 20 attendants, a horse drawn carriage,and a frickin' champagne fountain. I mean, while those are nice things if you want them, none of that has ANYTHING to do with a happy and successful marriage. It's not the trappings around your vows that matter...it is the VOWS THEMSELVES that matter.
Why oh why is this hard for people to understand?
I'm even cool with a "celebration of our marriage" party, after the fact. But using phrases like "...and now we're having our real wedding..." just totally discounts the WHOLE solemnity of the most important part.
Long story short, I was having health problems, but didn't have insurance. My FI suggested we go to the justice of the peace and get married, so he could add me to his insurance. And then we could have a reception-like party at a later time. And long before I was on TK. Long before I ever thought about people's opinions of PPDs. I remember telling him, "But I don't want to do that. It's important to me to have a more traditional wedding and, if we are already married, what would be the point of doing it again? It's not the same."