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Help! Dont want to be greedy with bridal shower!

meisia316meisia316
10 Comments
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
Hi ladies,

 I think there is a chance that someone will want to throw me a bridal shower.  Originally I was thinking I would respectfully decline.  My personal feeling is that a bridal shower causes an expectation of extra gifts to be given, which I don't like at all.

I would be OK with a shower only if everybody knows there is no need to bring gifts. I would prefer a potluck, or something informal like a wine tasting where everybody brings a bottle of wine. But I don't want to dictate my own shower!!! lol Laughing Also I know that there are some people that really do like to give, out of the goodness of their hearts, and I don't want to put them off.

What do you think?? Please help!



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Re: Help! Dont want to be greedy with bridal shower!

  • LisaTyler1984LisaTyler1984
    100 Comments
    I think.... why wouldn't you want gifts? Almost all brides have a shower, so sit back and enjoy your special time. Unless you've had a wedding before there is no reason why you should feel bad about accepting a shower. It's been a tradition for a long time. Register, buy a new outfit, get excited, attend your shower and enjoy!
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    The whole point of a shower is to shower the bride with gifts.  If you are uncomfortable with a gift party (and many brides are) decline the offer.  You can always ask the person offering if they'll do a ladies lunch or bridal tea instead.  Those are pretty much the same as showers, but without the gift aspect.  
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  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    If it was called a shower I would bring a gift even if the invite said no gifts.  If you are uncomfortable with it when someone offers explain to them how you feel.  As a host if I wanted to throw a shower I'm not sure I would be comfortable with just having a luncheon so that is something you may need to discuss with the person that offers.
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  • nebbiolonebbiolo
    100 Comments

    You could always just politely decline anyone who offers to throw you a shower and ask them to help you plan a "jack n jill" instead. This way, you can just have a party with your friends - including both sexes - and it won't be an event centered on your receiving gifts.  A friend of mine rented a nice bar for an afternoon, had buffet-style food and drinks. It was fun for both the couple AND the guests.
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  • whitneykaye87whitneykaye87
    500 Comments
    Would you feel better if you asked the hostess to include only people with whom you are close?  Many brides are uncomfortable opening lots of gifts from near-strangers, but feel much better about it when they know it will only be close friends and girl family members.  If it's still not your thing, you can absolutely tell the person who offers that you want to decline an actual shower, but you'd love the chance to hang out with some of your favorite ladies.  Just make sure it doesn't say shower on the invitation.
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  • meisia316meisia316
    10 Comments
    Thanks for the great comments!! :)  So helpful!

    Yes, I would feel better if it was just ladies that I was close to. That would help!
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