Calling your fiance your husband instead...

Bubblegum5586 · August 2014

It drives me crazy every time I see engaged people refer to their fiance as their husband/hubby/etc (and vice versa) I couldn't WAIT to finally be able to use the word husband... but I did wait... until we were married.

Please tell me I am not the only one that finds this annoying....

PineapplePopsicles · August 2014

I hate when people say "hubby", even if they are married. It drives me crazy. I'll admit to calling my fiance my husband every once in a while - like "Where is my husband?!" and my friend usually says "you don't have one!".

charlottesmom0626 · August 2014

I don't think this is a big deal. Sometimes my parents call my FI my boyfriend because that's what he was for a while. Sometimes FI's coworkers call me his wife, because they assume we are already married.

tammym1001 · August 2014

I called DH my husband before we were married, but it was to people like the cable company or dumb places like that who wouldn't talk to me without me calling him that. If I said FI they would say well we need to talk to him. Yeah well I need to get my cable fixed and if I have to wait for him to have time to call you then you should probably just cancel it!

pinkcow13 · August 2014

It annoys me when people broadcast it. One of my friends changed her name on FB before getting married, and another captioned a photo of her then FI and herself "Me and the Husband!" I noticed FI sometimes calls me his wife, but he has also done it like Tammy mentioned above. One time he went to AT&T to look into getting himself onto my plan so that we can get a family plan, and he referred to me as his wife. Although I think he told me he referred to me as his wife to his boss but I could be mistaken about that one.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · August 2014

FI calls me his GF because he hates the word Fiancee. Occasionally he'll say "Wife" to someone (Like if he was on the phone a financial institution....then he'll say "Well she will be my wife in 2 months..") but he thinks Fiancee sounds really snobby. Meh, in two months, he'll get to say Wife for real, I can wait. He does say 'my bride-to-be' when it's just us and he's being corny.

I don't like the word 'Hubby' and I am not sure why. Maybe because it sounds too casual to me? I dunno... I did tell FI to NEVER refer to me as "Wifey".

RedJacks25 · August 2014

I hate the word "hubby," always.

It's happened often where random people will refer to me as Mrs. FI's Lastname, or just assume that he's my husband. I never correct them because it doesn't matter; we'll be married soon enough and I'll never see these people again.

FI still calls me his girlfriend sometimes just out of habit. When he does, I'll usually say something along the lines of, "You have a girlfriend? When can I meet her?"

As far as me intentionally calling him my husband? No. That is a privilege that I very much look forward to, and it will come as soon as we're married.

climbingsingle · August 2014

My uncle's teenage bride does this. She calls him hubby and has already changed her last name on FB. I don't even think they're getting married until October 2015. It bugs. But she's like 19, so....

mrscomposer · August 2014

I can't stand the word hubby either, and don't know why. FI doesn't like the word fiancee and refers to me as his girlfriend to other people, but calls me his intended/betrothed/bride when it's just the two of us. I like the old-fashiony

southernbelle0915 · August 2014

Yea, not a fan of the word hubby. It doesn't even save on syllables, so I really don't get it.

There were a couple of times where I referred to H as my husband when we were engaged. Uaually it was for logistical stuff... like "no, I won't be picking it up, my husband will be. His name is HisFirstName and he'll be there at 8:00" or "my husband and I have the same confirmation number. We should be on the same flight sitting next to each other. Why would you move his flight and not mine?" Stuff like that. Socially, though? Never.

kaitlynmichelle · August 2014

It really annoys me. I actually love the word fiancé and I'm going to miss it in...28 days? I was a GF for 9 years and only get to be a FI for 9 months so I'm enjoying it while I can

I really dislike hubby and wifey. We both have agreed to never use these!

Bubblegum5586 · August 2014

After reading these responses I can see how in pretty much all of these scenarios it makes sense. I guess I was specifically complaining about the FB posts- "Can't wait to get home and cuddle with hubby"/"Today husband and I…"/etc…. I mean non stop posts on FB of what you are up to hourly is annoying enough, but when you are calling your fiancé- husband… it just drives me crazy

peachy13 · August 2014

I actually hate the word fiance and one of the many reasons I can't wait for my wedding is to finally stop saying it. I don't know why but I just feel like I can't say "fiance" out loud without sounding like a snobby douche. Sometimes if I'm referring to him to someone I don't know well I just call him my boyfriend, but never husband. That term is definitely for use only starting the minute we're married.

short+sassy · August 2014

OP, I totally agree with you. Not that I'm downplaying serious, unmarried relationships...heck, my DH and I were together over a decade before we got married...but to call someone your wife/husband before you are married is misleading. It's the whole "but we know we will be together forever, so who needs that pesky piece of paper". Well...if that "pesky piece of paper" is so unimportant than why haven't you all gone down to the courthouse already? Obviously something is holding you back, so don't pretend like you're married, when you're not. It's different. It just is.

BTW, I have no qualms with some of the examples above where engaged people were calling faceless corporations and using the term husband just to grease the wheels.

But two examples I have were it especially aggravated me was I had a former boss who always referred to his g/f...and his baby's mother...as his wife. It was months before I found out they weren't married at all. And I know why he did it. I'm sure that made her feel all special and wonderful...while he was still able to control and keep his finances totally separate from her. She was substantially younger, no job prospects, and he was completely dependent on him.

The other example wasn't blatantly disgusting like that one. But I had tenants move in and they always referred to each other as husband/wife so, of course I assumed that is what they were. About a month later, she was chit-chatting to me about how they would probably get married someday, but it just wasn't important to them. Of course, I didn't make an issue about it. But I just always feel "lied" to when people do this. I realize it's a "no harm, no foul" kind of lie. But I just find it disconcerting.

larrygaga · August 2014

I hate hubby. It makes me think of gross lazy housewives. (not saying all housewives are lazy and gross, just the ones that use hubby are.)

I secretly-not-so-secretly called FI husband by saying Future Husband. I am a cheater, and I am not sorry.

Wegl13 · August 2014

Fiancé has been just super confusing. I'm assuming husband will be too. I've never had anything but a boyfriend before, and my grandma won't even allow that.... She always asks how my "little friend" is doing, which when typed sounds super creepy but is really just funny when she says it, like she doesn't want to admit that I have a SO. I've been called his wife before- we are looking at houses and it's just back and forth between wife and fiancé all the time. I corrected it the first day and then I was like whatever.... We are buying a house together, we'll be weeks from being married when we move into that house together, these people don't care. We've also gotten "newlyweds" and we don't correct that either. Basically I think everyone assumes "get married then buy house" but that really makes very little sense.

Marzipan13 · August 2014

1) I wholeheartedly and vehemently agree about the "hubby" thing. Makes me want to take a shower in bleach.

2) Also agree about the "no calling your fiancé 'husband'" thing - it can wait, you'll be calling him your husband until you're dead (hopefully), which is generally longer than you've been waiting so far.

3) Although it shouldn't bother me, it REALLY cheeses me off when people call FI my "boyfriend". Especially since everyone who knows me knows I'm getting married... like, soon. Ugh.

etf: fucking paragraphs

sarahonlife · August 2014

Well I find the word "hubby" annoying no matter who uses it, married or not. But I certainly didn't use "husband" before we were married. Hell, half the time I still say "My boyf-husband..."

theartistformerlyknownas · August 2014

I guess I'm the only one who doesn't hate the word "hubby."

Sometimes I'll even refer to him as my future hubbyman or hubs. NEVER without the "future" prefix though. No matter what the nickname, don't use it if you're not actually married.

steph861 · August 2014

goldchocobo said:

FI calls me his GF because he hates the word Fiancee. Occasionally he'll say "Wife" to someone (Like if he was on the phone a financial institution....then he'll say "Well she will be my wife in 2 months..") but he thinks Fiancee sounds really snobby. Meh, in two months, he'll get to say Wife for real, I can wait. He does say 'my bride-to-be' when it's just us and he's being corny.

I don't like the word 'Hubby' and I am not sure why. Maybe because it sounds too casual to me? I dunno... I did tell FI to NEVER refer to me as "Wifey".

I blame this (clicky).

Nymeru · August 2014

I hate the word "hubby" with a passion. A burning passion. It still feels weird after a month to call my fiance "husband" and I find myself even reverting back to "boyfriend" occasionally when I stumble over "husband". It's weird.

manateehugger · August 2014

Hubby and wifey (even though I've yet to hear a man refer to his wife that way - I feel like it's usually the wife referring to herself) annoy the crap out of me. They aren't cute or adorable; I think they sound juvenile. If you want to call your husband that in private, I give zero shits. But every time someone starts a post here with "Me and my hubby..." I roll my eyes.That man is your husband - he has a proper title and a name - use one of them in public.

I also have trouble with husband and had a horrible time with fiance too. At one point shortly after we got engaged, in front of my thesis advisor I blundered and word vomited something about "my current fiance." From then on he regularly asked if I had changed fiance's recently.

I try to go by H's name whenever possible.

rsbloom · August 2014

I don't mind hubby, but I hate wifey, because it's usually girls referring to themselves as that, not something their husband calls them. You can't just make up your own nickname, you know?

But I HATE saying fiancé, there was a thread a while back that referenced Elaine's reaction to "fiancé" on Seinfeld, I feel like that. It just sounds so snobbish. I say future husband or boyfriend if introducing him, on FB I just say his name or tag him, no nicknames.

ejpentecost · August 2014

No to hubby, no to wifey, no to fiancé, no to pretending to be married before I am.

I did accidentally call my ex-husband my boyfriend the other day though. He hasn't been my boyfriend since 1984 so I don't know what that was about.

Speaking of boyfriend, I don't even like that word. I will be 50 years old this fall. That is far too old to have a boyfriend.

I need to get married so I can call him something legit.

steph861 · August 2014

rsbloom said:
I don't mind hubby, but I hate wifey, because it's usually girls referring to themselves as that, not something their husband calls them. You can't just make up your own nickname, you know?

But I HATE saying fiancé, there was a thread a while back that referenced Elaine's reaction to "fiancé" on Seinfeld, I feel like that. It just sounds so snobbish. I say future husband or boyfriend if introducing him, on FB I just say his name or tag him, no nicknames.

Ha! I just linked to that Seinfeld clip a few posts before yours.

Bubblegum5586 · August 2014

steph11814 said:

I don't mind hubby, but I hate wifey, because it's usually girls referring to themselves as that, not something their husband calls them. You can't just make up your own nickname, you know?

But I HATE saying fiancé, there was a thread a while back that referenced Elaine's reaction to "fiancé" on Seinfeld, I feel like that. It just sounds so snobbish. I say future husband or boyfriend if introducing him, on FB I just say his name or tag him, no nicknames.
Ha! I just linked to that Seinfeld clip a few posts before yours.

Right after I got engaged a co worker sent me that clip and it made me self consious of saying fiance after that!

loveislouder · August 2014

I strongly dislike the word hubby. I also strongly dislike the word Preggo instead of pregnant. Last time someone said "I'M PREGGO" on facebook, I was like..."you don't LOOK like spaghetti sauce to me?" She deleted me.

PandaNikki · August 2014

My sister does that, refers to her boyfriend as her husband, shares "I love my husband" stuff on FB, and made an email address with her first name and his last name. I understand that they have a kid together and another one on the way, but they aren't even engaged never mind married! I side-eye a bit but I don't say anything.

loveislouder · August 2014

@PandaNikki in my province if you live together for 3 years, or live together for any amount of time when there's a baby introduced, you're automatically common-law, which is like being married. You can change your name, and your partner becomes your common-law husband or wife.

PandaNikki · August 2014

@loveislouder common-law doesn't exist in the state they live in. I had looked it up at one point because FI and I have been together so long!

loveislouder · August 2014

@PandaNikki oh jeeze. Then yeah, that should end ASAP lol

Calling your fiance your husband instead...

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