I would love to hear some stories from other women who have decided to keep their names, and especially what you plan to do for your children's names. I live in the NYC area, but yet have only met one woman who actually kept her name, and she's going to change it now that she has her first child.
These are the options I can think of:
1. Change my name - not happening. It's my name, my identity, it's who I am and always will be. Plus, it's my late father's name, one of the few things I have left of him. Plus, it's a good 'ol traditional, easy to spell, American last name.
2. He changes his name to mine - not happening, because he feels attached to his name, too, namely because he's the only boy in his family.
3. Hyphenate - it doesn't really work with our names, just sounds long and ridiculous
4. Combine our names into one, new name - I love this option, but again, doesn't really work.
5. Keep my name but give our children his name - I'm not happy about this, yet it seems to be the most "acceptable" option because that's the way patriarchal society has been doing it from its inception.
6. Keep my name and give our children my name - my fiance doesn't want this for the same reasons he doesn't want to change his own name.
7. Keep my name, make my last name the children's middle names - but who really uses their middle names? My fiance thought this was a great idea, but when I asked what if we used his last name as the middle, he didn't like it, because he obviously realizes it's not the same.
I feel like we're at a stalemate. I'd love to hear stories from those who kept their names, the reasons behind it, and how it affected your family. Thanks!