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called off engagement, bought dress, drastic change?

purplekbearpurplekbear member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Chit Chat
So, I called off my engagement after finding some stuff out about my ex that broke my heart. I had already bought the dress, only $100!!! But it's been sitting in my closet and as a single mom of 2 kids, there's a fear that I'll never be able to wear it or by the time I do it will be outdated or I'll want something else. I've been struggling with my self esteem, I don't feel beautiful or attractive. A friend who's a photographer, offered as a way to boost my esteem, to take some nice pictures of me in the dress( it's not a typical white dress, very original, no train). Then either get rid of it, have a trash the dress party, etc to move on. I've also been thinking of cutting my hair short, something my ex wouldn't let me do. But idk if I have the face for it (my hair is crazy thick and slightly wavy). Any suggestions for the dress? And I'm attaching the haircut I'm thinking of, open to suggestions there too. And please be nice!!
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Re: called off engagement, bought dress, drastic change?

  • IrishPirate60IrishPirate60 member
    Seventh Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Hair grows!
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  • hellohkbhellohkb mod
    Moderator Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its
    I'm sorry you're dealing with this ♡. Judging from your profile picture, I think the short cut would look fabulous on you.


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  • RebeccaFlowerRebeccaFlower member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I would try to sell the dress, or eve donate it to a prom/wedding cause. That would make you feel good. 
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  • LittlePeachBlossomLittlePeachBlossom member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    I love that short Rachel cut. They'll thin out your hair with the scissors and you'll get good at blow drying straight, since it's short it gets easy after a bit. Unless you like it wavy which I think will look nice too that length. 

    I agree with lolo883, I'd get a hot new dress I can wear again. Anytime you're feeling down you can put it on and feel fabulous. I don't think I'd want pics in my would-be wedding dress.
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  • LadyMillilLadyMillil member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I have thick, slightly wavy hair. When I did the Rachel cut there was a lot of upkeep involved to keep it looking like that. It might not be the same with your hair, but something to keep in mind.

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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    I agree with PPs who suggested getting a new dress. Wearing the wedding dress would probably just bring up feelings of sadness. And I think that Sandra Bullock cut would look gorgeous on you! Judging from your profile pic, you have awesome cheekbones! I think a short cut would really work for you.
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  • ElcaBElcaB member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Take some time to think about how you'd feel if you did the photo shoot. If you're pretty confident it'd make you feel fabulous, I say go for it! 

    And the great thing about hair is, it grows back. If it looks like crap it won't be forever. I'd suggest asking your stylist, though. Mine is a pro and whenever I'm considering something different I always ask for her input because she's the expert, not me. She's always honest and tells me when something won't work. 
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  • raissyraisraissyrais member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited August 2014
    I would try to sell the dress if I were you, you don't want any bad memories to spring up. You can get yourself a totally new dress to rock your newfound freedom! As for the hair, like LadyMllll said, if yours is very thick and wavy, it will take a lot of blowdrying with round brush and very hot straightening to get it looking like those slick, bouncy bobs. All that styling will fry your hair since it's not naturally straight and easy to work with. I've seen it with my cousin unfortunately who's desperate to have long straight hair. Hers sounds like yours and now her hair is always fried at the tips and it never grows past her shoulders :(
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  • ShellD13ShellD13 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    I called off an engagement shortly after I graduated from college.  It is one of the hardest things I ever did but absolutely the smartest.  My ex-FI and I were not right for each other and while it was sad I absolutely stand by the fact that I saved myself a whole bunch more heartache than if I had gone along with the wedding and we divorced later potentially after having a couple of kids.  I also think about how much simpler life is only have to deal with my H's former wife.  In no way shape or form would I want to double that amount of baggage.

    Now, please I know you may love the dress but get it out of your house.  Bring it to a consignment shop, donate it, just do something/anything you can feel good about.  When you do find your partner in life you will not want to wear the dress you picked out to wear for a different wedding.  I love the idea the other ladies suggested about finding a different dress that makes you feel beautiful and having a photo shoot to commemorate your strong beautiful self.

    As for the haircut if you want to do it go for it!  I too chopped off my hair just after I called off my engagement.  I went SHORT and had a blast rocking my new cut.  If you have a good hairstylist that you see and love - talk the decision over with him/her.  Tell them what you are thinking about and get their creative opinion. :-) 


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  • buttercup1958buttercup1958
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I wouldn't wear the dress but you should rock that short hair cut! I have a short bob and I love it. I think a new hair cut is a great idea, it always makes me feel good.
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  • doeydodoeydo member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I don't know about the whole dress thing.  I guess whatever feels right to you.

    As for the hair style ideas, I think shorter styles would look great on you because you have a bit of a longer face.  Also, I would go with your natural hair texture instead of trying to fight it by blowing it straight everyday or what have you. Below are image links so I don't eat up too much space posting pictures of showing what I mean:



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  • purplekbearpurplekbear member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    You all have been awesome with suggestions and such!!! Makes me feel good :) I'm gonna go for the cut, and see if I can sell the dress or donate it for a great cause :)!!!
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  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Great haircut for your face, methinks. Hope you stick around TK!
    image
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