Well, okay. I am.
But I feel like I missed a whole hell of a lot of shit that girls "ought to know". Like, for instance, how to wear heels without completely destroying your feet. I have weird feet. I'm 97% sure I need to just get a personal shoemaker to make all my shoes. They are stupid. But that fact notwithstanding, I cannot figure out how to keep my feet where they actually GO in heels and keep them on my stupid feet.
- The heel part flops around like a dying fish whenever I walk
- At the same time, my toes get shoved so far into the toe box that it's like uncorking wine when I go to take them off.
- At the SAME time, I have a shitshow trying to walk because between the crammed-in toes and the flopping heels, I look like a complete idiot.
I can't figure out my damn size either. A 7.5 should be okay for both feet, right? Except sometimes a 7.5 is too small for ONE foot (but not both) and sometimes it's too BIG for one foot (but AGAIN, not both). I can't cram the other foot into a 7 to save my life, and the 8 looks like a clown shoe.
I'm just sick of this. Anybody got any tips on how to solve this? It's not like I buy cheap shoes - the new heels I'm wearing today are Nine West, and they're leather. And my mom got them for me for my birthday and I just want to WEAR THEM DAMMIT.
And now I'm sitting here frustrated at my desk and crying because that's what I do when I'm frustrated. I need vodka or anti-crazy pills or something.