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Disagreement with FI

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Re: Disagreement with FI

  • Hell&HighwaterHell&Highwater member
    First Comment

    As others have said, you can never control the behavior of a guest.  This goes for taking pictures (see thread on Unplugged Weddings), making scenes, and even pre-planning proposals to coincide with your nuptials.  At the end of the day, George may share his plan with others and be told the news that his proposal idea will be awkward for everyone there, including his intended.  If he is insistent and you still plan to invite George to the wedding (if no date has been chosen, sounds like invites have not gone out), then you will have to live with the fact that George might pull his stunt.  I don't think this is worth ruining a friendship over so I would still invite him and his SO, and know that it really won't take away from your day, besides providing a hilarious (and mortifying) anecdote when you regale friends with your wedding story years from now.

     

    My FI proposed to me the day before my friend's wedding (poor timing on his part, but the ring was burning a hole in his pocket) and I was over-the-moon excited!  Knowing this other friend's wedding would essentially be a reunion of sorts and filled with old friends, I still kept the engagement news close to the vest because I had no desire to take any attention away from the bride and groom.  After everyone said their goodbyes following Sunday brunch, I called the bride while she was waiting in the airport to board her honeymoon flight and shared my news.  She is so unselfish and probably wouldn't have cared, but I just think it's poor form to celebrate your own life-changing event while someone is in the midst of celebrating theirs.  I did not want to spill the news of my engagement during another person's wedding -- it's unseemly.   

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  • bahamabride2015bahamabride2015 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited September 2014
    Part of the reason so many men propose on Valentines day or on her birthday is because they completely lack creativity.  As excited as I was when FI proposed, if it had been at a friend or relative's wedding I would probably have been like "here?, why?" and I certainly wouldn't have wanted to tell anyone right away and draw attention away from the couple.
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  • JBee85JBee85 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    bahamabride2015 said:
    Part of the reason so many men propose on Valentines day or on her birthday is because they completely lack creativity. 
    My fiance actually proposed to me on my birthday. I never saw it as him lacking creativty.
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  • PersnicketesePersnicketese member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    So what you essentially have is info through a game of telephone?

    OP, if you really really want to know if that's what he's planning you could always have your FI go up to George and talk to him. "Hey George, I heard you were thinking about proposing to your GF. Congrats man! Got any idea on how you want to do it?"

    My cousin was thinking about the same thing at another cousin's wedding, and that's how I approached him. I convinced him it wouldn't be as special as he thinks and it'd put a lot of unwanted attention and pressure on her. He hadn't realized that it would be not only taking away from the bride and groom but from the specialness of their moment together. He waited and eventually made better plans.
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  • NdelibleNdelible member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    FH proposed to me on Valentine's Day. I was and am still thrilled.
    Happiness is an inside job
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