Popular southern wedding traditions?

sarahtrg · July 2014

I've recently moved to the South (Lexington, KY) from the Pacific Northwest (Portland, OR) and will be getting married next May at a beautiful B&B here in Lexington. I want to embrace the unique culture associated with the South and use as many southern wedding traditions as I can. Can anyone point me in the direction of a good book/site/etc that goes into southern wedding customs and the meaning behind them? Thanks!

CMGragain · July 2014

Having lived in the south for some years, I doubt it the local people would appreciate you adopting their culture as your wedding theme. It is their tradition - not yours. Just be yourself.

sarahtrg · July 2014

It is far from my wedding theme; I'm merely trying to incorporate traditions from a culture I love and appreciate. Thank you for your feedback.

CMGragain · July 2014

Be careful. Southerners can be very touchy about their traditions.

mysticl · July 2014

sarahtrg said:

It is far from my wedding theme; I'm merely trying to incorporate traditions from a culture I love and appreciate. Thank you for your feedback.

But it's not your culture. Are you marrying a southerner? If you are it's your FI's culture and then it would be okay to incorporate some things without getting side eyed.

There is a saying in the south: "Just because a cat has kittens in the oven doesn't mean we call them biscuits" Basically, just living in the south (or being born there) doesn't make you a southerner and you never will be one. If your FI isn't a southerner then your children (if you have them) will never be southerners either.

artbyallie · July 2014

I agree with PPs but I will offer the one tradition that comes to mind that is fairly unlikely to offend your new neighbors. Bridal portraits. You have pictures made in your wedding gown (just you!) and you display a large print at the reception and use one of the photos for the wedding announcement in the newspaper.

AddieCake · July 2014

Groom's cake!

MyNameIsNot · July 2014

AddieCake said:

Groom's cake!

This!

And serve it at the wedding. Serving it at the RD is not in line with the tradition.

chibiyui · July 2014

You can't offend anybody with cake.

Stick with the cake.

charlottesmom0626 · July 2014

Groom's cakes are popular here in Pittsburgh, I'm not sure that's a Southern Thing..

AddieCake · July 2014

Groom's cakes are popular in many places, (Thank you, Steel Magnolias) but they began here in the US (previously a British thing, I believe) as a southern tradition.

chibiyui · July 2014

taylorann0626 said:

Groom's cakes are popular here in Pittsburgh, I'm not sure that's a Southern Thing..

For better or worse, one of America's best talents is taking shit from other people.

atlastmrsg · July 2014

If you want Southern details, go for it. Get Southern Living Weddings, flip through, and start looking for bourbon, fried snacks (chicken, green tomatoes), bourbon, a way to incorporate mini hot browns, bourbon, anything equestrian, bourbon, things from Rebecca Ruth, bourbon, something Vineyard Vines for groomsmen, bourbon, big hair, bourbon, mint, bourbon, sweet tea, bourbon, and engagement photos/bachelor party/bachelorette party/outing with wedding party to Keeneland that includes tailgating. Go Cats!

nancieraven · August 2014

AddieCake, I'm pretty sure a red velvet armadillo groom's cake will do the trick!

ChellaTims · August 2014

I'm as southern as anyone could possibly be, down to the accent and all. I wouldn't care if someone that just moved here adopted our traditions, especially if they love the culture and the traditions as much as I do! I wouldn't be concerned as long as you do them right. I agree with PP's that the Grooms Cake is a must do! It's served at the wedding not the reception. It use to be some sort of chocolate cake created by the bride or her family for her groom but now people are very creative with the cake and it's more of a representation of what the groom loves most. I he loves football have it made like a football stadium; in our case my FI loves the Green Bay Packers so we're planning a Lambeau Field groom's cake. Another is to bury the bourbon. Go to the site of the wedding a month before your date and bury a bottle of bourbon upside down to prevent rain/bad weather. There are other tradtions, cake pulls, if you Google southern traditions and they do vary by state too.

Jen4948 · August 2014

Just out of curiosity, if the site doesn't allow for burying anything, what do you do?

emmaaa · August 2014

@Jen4948 What do you mean by burying?

Jen4948 · August 2014

emmaaa said:

@Jen4948 What do you mean by burying?

I was referring to the bury-the-bourbon tradition referenced in the post above mine.

emmaaa · August 2014

Jen4948 said:

emmaaa said:

@Jen4948 What do you mean by burying?

I was referring to the bury-the-bourbon tradition referenced in the post above mine.

OH! I thought you you talking about a website issue...long day

southernbelle0915 · August 2014

I like the idea of a groom's cake. Luke warm on the bridal portraits (personally, I think it's pretty AWish). I second @atlastmrsg's suggestion of getting a southern living bridal magazine and thumbing through it for inspiration.

I agree with PPs on not trying to do too many traditions you're not familiar with - everyone probably knows you're not from the south and I think it'll make you look a bit like poser.

You can never go wrong with trying to serve a crowd pleasing menu. Talk to your caterer about a traditional southern menu. Make sure you have whiskey and some good bourbon at the bar. Also, make sure you have sweet tea. That's the kind of stuff people will appreciate - not acting like you follow their traditions, KWIM?

Jen4948 · August 2014

emmaaa said:

Jen4948 said:

emmaaa said:

@Jen4948 What do you mean by burying?

I was referring to the bury-the-bourbon tradition referenced in the post above mine.

OH! I thought you you talking about a website issue...long day

Grin.

shelleysommers · August 2014

A "true" Southerner would welcome sharing their traditions with anyone that was interested in embracing our warm and hospitable culture (yes, believe it or not that is what the South is known for, at least in Texas it is). Your wedding is YOUR day and I hope you pay no attention to the negativeness I read in this post (I'm actually appalled that anyone that calls themselves a Southerner would speak that way). Try this site http://southernweddings.com and good luck to you!

beethery · August 2014

Bless your heart.^^

holyguacamole79 · August 2014

ChellaTims said:

I'm as southern as anyone could possibly be, down to the accent and all. I wouldn't care if someone that just moved here adopted our traditions, especially if they love the culture and the traditions as much as I do! I wouldn't be concerned as long as you do them right. I agree with PP's that the Grooms Cake is a must do! It's served at the wedding not the reception. It use to be some sort of chocolate cake created by the bride or her family for her groom but now people are very creative with the cake and it's more of a representation of what the groom loves most. I he loves football have it made like a football stadium; in our case my FI loves the Green Bay Packers so we're planning a Lambeau Field groom's cake. Another is to bury the bourbon. Go to the site of the wedding a month before your date and bury a bottle of bourbon upside down to prevent rain/bad weather. There are other tradtions, cake pulls, if you Google southern traditions and they do vary by state too.

Serve the cake at the wedding and not the reception?? WTF? And as a native Texan, I've always seen the grooms cake next to the "regular" cake.

holyguacamole79 · August 2014

shelleysommers said:

A "true" Southerner would welcome sharing their traditions with anyone that was interested in embracing our warm and hospitable culture (yes, believe it or not that is what the South is known for, at least in Texas it is). Your wedding is YOUR day and I hope you pay no attention to the negativeness I read in this post (I'm actually appalled that anyone that calls themselves a Southerner would speak that way). Try this site http://southernweddings.com and good luck to you!

Hi, welcome to TK. First off, I encourage you to change your screenname. I just found your LinkedIn profile and the pic matches your profile pic here. Secondly, as soon as a couple invites guests to their wedding, it ceases to be YOUR day. That expression doesn't go over well around here.

sophhabobopha · August 2014

sarahbear31 said:

shelleysommers said:

A "true" Southerner would welcome sharing their traditions with anyone that was interested in embracing our warm and hospitable culture (yes, believe it or not that is what the South is known for, at least in Texas it is). Your wedding is YOUR day and I hope you pay no attention to the negativeness I read in this post (I'm actually appalled that anyone that calls themselves a Southerner would speak that way). Try this site http://southernweddings.com and good luck to you!

Hi, welcome to TK. First off, I encourage you to change your screenname. I just found your LinkedIn profile and the pic matches your profile pic here. Secondly, as soon as a couple invites guests to their wedding, it ceases to be YOUR day. That expression doesn't go over well around here.

SITB

Yes, please change your user name!

emmaaa · August 2014

sophhabobopha said:

sarahbear31 said:

shelleysommers said:

A "true" Southerner would welcome sharing their traditions with anyone that was interested in embracing our warm and hospitable culture (yes, believe it or not that is what the South is known for, at least in Texas it is). Your wedding is YOUR day and I hope you pay no attention to the negativeness I read in this post (I'm actually appalled that anyone that calls themselves a Southerner would speak that way). Try this site http://southernweddings.com and good luck to you!

Hi, welcome to TK. First off, I encourage you to change your screenname. I just found your LinkedIn profile and the pic matches your profile pic here. Secondly, as soon as a couple invites guests to their wedding, it ceases to be YOUR day. That expression doesn't go over well around here.

SITB

Yes, please change your user name!

I have PMed the user to suggest this also.

sarahtrg · August 2014

I am slightly taken aback by the mixed responses to my post but thank you to everyone for your input.

[Deleted User] · August 2014

mysticl said:

sarahtrg said:

It is far from my wedding theme; I'm merely trying to incorporate traditions from a culture I love and appreciate. Thank you for your feedback.

But it's not your culture. Are you marrying a southerner? If you are it's your FI's culture and then it would be okay to incorporate some things without getting side eyed.

There is a saying in the south: "Just because a cat has kittens in the oven doesn't mean we call them biscuits" Basically, just living in the south (or being born there) doesn't make you a southerner and you never will be one. If your FI isn't a southerner then your children (if you have them) will never be southerners either.

I do not like the bolded much. She may not have been born there. But has moved there and loves it, so why can't she claim it? If I move someplace new I will always be an outsider?? You dont make people feel welcomed?? I do not know much of southern traditions I would just hope that in ANY place I were to go people would make me feel welcomed. And if a person moves someplace and tries to adapt it shows they are trying. They are showing a repsect for that local culture they they are trying. I wouldnt make them feel like an outsider. If she wants to put some of that in her wedding because she loves her new home.. why question her?

ChellaTims · September 2014

sarahbear31 said:

ChellaTims said:

I'm as southern as anyone could possibly be, down to the accent and all. I wouldn't care if someone that just moved here adopted our traditions, especially if they love the culture and the traditions as much as I do! I wouldn't be concerned as long as you do them right. I agree with PP's that the Grooms Cake is a must do! It's served at the wedding not the reception. It use to be some sort of chocolate cake created by the bride or her family for her groom but now people are very creative with the cake and it's more of a representation of what the groom loves most. I he loves football have it made like a football stadium; in our case my FI loves the Green Bay Packers so we're planning a Lambeau Field groom's cake. Another is to bury the bourbon. Go to the site of the wedding a month before your date and bury a bottle of bourbon upside down to prevent rain/bad weather. There are other tradtions, cake pulls, if you Google southern traditions and they do vary by state too.

Serve the cake at the wedding and not the reception?? WTF? And as a native Texan, I've always seen the grooms cake next to the "regular" cake.

ChellaTims · September 2014

I mean't to say the reception not the rehearsal dinner. I can't believe I typed that wrong!

Sorry for the double post but I can't get my reply to post correctly!

Popular southern wedding traditions?

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