Snarky Brides

What was your RSVP rate?

edited August 2014 in Snarky Brides
Today is my RSVP deadline--the "RSVP by" date on the RSVP cards. I've had a 50% response rate, and it really ticks me off. I expected some people would not RSVP via the card OR on time, but to spend so much money (between $100-150) on RSVP cards, pre-printed addressed (extra cost) RSVP envelopes, and even going the extra mile of putting postage there for them, too... UGGHH! 

I understand that my peers who haven't done the wedding thing may not entirely realize how important it is to get the count accurate and in-advance for the caterer, and how many other things rely on this number as well, like number of centerpieces/flowers, linen rentals, favors, etc. And the lack of RSVPing was certainly higher among my friends than my family (but I STILL have family members who have not RSVP'd as well). Almost NONE of my friends RSVP'd. From several, I got the typical response of "I just haven't put it in the mail yet (which they still haven't done a week after asking them). The invitations went out a bit early (people expected them as our engagement was so long--over 2.5 years), so they've had 2.5 months to respond. I today even had to ask my bridal party individually if their +1's were coming even after specifically telling them I do need their RSVPs; obviously my bridesmaids/groomsmen are coming, but what about their S.O.'s?

The response of "I don't know if I'm working" annoyed me less than people who knew one way or the other and were just to lazy to write a checkmark and put the envelope in the mailbox. I understand people have jobs, but if you're waiting for your schedule less than a month out, I see how high up I am on list of priorities (not that I think my wedding is of great importance to other people or "the wedding of the decade"--but I'm supposedly their friend...a little courtesy? Do you even WANT to come? If not, just tell me no right off, whatever). You had 3 months to ask off work. I know, however, how bosses can be, so like I said, it didn't bother me as much, but still GRR!

So anyway, that is my rant, but primarily I am not posting to rant, but because I am curious if my 50% rate of RSVP differs from most or is this typical? ***What was your RSVP rate?***
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Re: What was your RSVP rate?

  • Several will probably come in the next few days. Most people put them in the mail the day of the deadline.
  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited August 2014
    Several will probably come in the next few days. Most people put them in the mail the day of the deadline.
    Yup. We waited until four days past the deadline and then started calling people.

    We got about 60% of our responses before the deadline, another 30% during the 2-3 days after the deadline, and then the remaining 10% when we called people.

    Of those 10%, a few people simply forgot, and a couple got lost in the mail. We ended up getting a couple mangled/post-office-stamped/obviously lost envelopes about two weeks after the wedding. :-P
  • Ours was yesterday, and out of 51 invites we're missing 3 cards (3 couples). They're all FI's family. One couple lives across the country so we don't expect them and the others are local. With the family BBQ this weekend I'm hoping to find out about them.

    Now I've moved on to worrying about no-shows....
    ________________________________


  • Definitely wait a few days. 

    Most of my non-RSVPs were from young-ish (18-25) cousins who demand to be treated like adults, then their parents RSVP for them and they don't send it back their own card. Wtf. 
  • Ours was the 29th. FI doesn't want me to call after anyone but I was posting reminders on FB but only to those that were invited could see it. I want to except any RSVPs we may get back until we make the official head count with reception hall. However, FI says if we don't receive them by this Friday, a week after date on RSVP, then we call them and tell them they can't come. Simply because they didn't have the courtesy to tell us they were waiting for one reason or another. I DO NOT agree with this. I think we make our head count a few more and we already know they will have plenty of extra food. But we will be tight on cake so if extras show they will get food, an odd seat and no cake. We are pretty sure no one else will reply except a few that have spoke to us about not knowing. I do not know why it's so hard to mark the RSVP and send it back when the stamp is already on there and if you have to wait why can they contact us and let us know. Don't get me wrong, I understand we are not top priority but with a save the date magnet they should have a reminder if they put it on their refrig. Or seen the FB post. I don't get it. But without FI knowing I'll be making calls to those I have numbers for while he is at work to ask them what their plan is. We do need the final count next week.
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  • Ours was the 29th. FI doesn't want me to call after anyone but I was posting reminders on FB but only to those that were invited could see it. I want to except any RSVPs we may get back until we make the official head count with reception hall. However, FI says if we don't receive them by this Friday, a week after date on RSVP, then we call them and tell them they can't come. Simply because they didn't have the courtesy to tell us they were waiting for one reason or another. I DO NOT agree with this. I think we make our head count a few more and we already know they will have plenty of extra food. But we will be tight on cake so if extras show they will get food, an odd seat and no cake. We are pretty sure no one else will reply except a few that have spoke to us about not knowing. I do not know why it's so hard to mark the RSVP and send it back when the stamp is already on there and if you have to wait why can they contact us and let us know. Don't get me wrong, I understand we are not top priority but with a save the date magnet they should have a reminder if they put it on their refrig. Or seen the FB post. I don't get it. But without FI knowing I'll be making calls to those I have numbers for while he is at work to ask them what their plan is. We do need the final count next week.
    Um what? What if it got lost in the mail. You need to call everyone that you haven't heard from yet. Then just say that you have to give the headcount by X date so they need to tell you by then. If you don't hear from them by, then you'll count them as a no.

    For the OP, we had 95%+ of our responses by the RSVP date. 

    The people that didn't respond were one couple that said they put it in the mail (they were not coming anyway.). One of my friends who was waiting to see if her bf could get off work, and one relative of my husband who was sick and ultimately wasn't able to come. 

    My husband and I are in our 30s and were one of the last of our friends to get married, so we had seasoned wedding veterans in attendance. 
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  • Wow, I would ask if they received the invite first, not out-and-out tell them they can't come.  Kinda harsh.

    We have some stragglers.  I have a weird friend that sent me a message last night telling me she HAD to give me her reply card in person, even though she lives 2 hours away and I put a stamp on the envelope.  I appreciate her telling me she was coming.  She makes me giggle but sometimes she's weird.  She suggesting meeting at a restaurant.  I joked to myself that she was holding my reply card hostage LOL.
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  • We got about 20% of ours back a week or two after the invites went out (mostly family and close friends who had been planning on coming since they got the STDate), a few would trickle in every couple of days after that, and then we got about 30% back right around the deadline. I think that we had to call about 10% of our guests to see whether they were coming, starting about 6 days after the RSVPs were due.
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  • I'm not sure, but I know it was a lot who didn't respond. By the RSVP date, about 60% had responded. 3 days later, we had about 70%. We began calling/emailing etc., 4 days after the RSVP date and had to hunt quite a few people down. FI has 3 friends who didn't send them back and didn't respond to calls or emails, so we included a line in the messages to those saying "if we don't hear from you by Friday, we'll assume you're not coming" and still heard nothing from them. Others who didn't actually send an RSVP back- FI's mom, my dad and stepmom, our friend who is our officiant. We know they are coming, but really? Just send it back!
  • We received a lot at first then they slowly trickled in. Our RSVP date was Sept 1st (but no mail that sun or mon could mean more will be coming) and about 15 of 225 are outstanding. Because of the holiday I'll wait until the end of the week before calling.

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  • We had about 60% respond by the date. Almost none of H family actually officially RSVP'd and the ones that did didn't until then FI's dad emailed everyone.

    We did online RSVP's which I was SOOO happy about because I didn't want to waste the cards, envelops, postage just to never get them back. Most of FI family never responded to the Engagement party invite that my parents sent out. Never responded to the shower invite from his mom. And never acknowledged the Save the Dates. So it didn't seem like they were very interested and I was right! Many never replied to our invite. 24/81 for his family showed up.

    The system worked just fine. We only had one issue.
  • My RSVP deadline is a ways out, but so far they are already bugging me. Haha. ALL of my family RSVPed the first week. All of our friends trickled in by the next week. And NONE of his family have RSVPed. None. *sigh* But they still have time, so I'm trying not to dwell on it.
  • Ours was the 29th. FI doesn't want me to call after anyone but I was posting reminders on FB but only to those that were invited could see it. I want to except any RSVPs we may get back until we make the official head count with reception hall. However, FI says if we don't receive them by this Friday, a week after date on RSVP, then we call them and tell them they can't come. Simply because they didn't have the courtesy to tell us they were waiting for one reason or another. I DO NOT agree with this. I think we make our head count a few more and we already know they will have plenty of extra food. But we will be tight on cake so if extras show they will get food, an odd seat and no cake. We are pretty sure no one else will reply except a few that have spoke to us about not knowing. I do not know why it's so hard to mark the RSVP and send it back when the stamp is already on there and if you have to wait why can they contact us and let us know. Don't get me wrong, I understand we are not top priority but with a save the date magnet they should have a reminder if they put it on their refrig. Or seen the FB post. I don't get it. But without FI knowing I'll be making calls to those I have numbers for while he is at work to ask them what their plan is. We do need the final count next week.
    I'm glad you don't agree with this. As long as there's a few days' buffer with the caterer deadline, you can always add those people after you call for their answer. There's no reason to punish them by saying they can't come, especially if the caterer's deadline hasn't passed. And, really, that's sort of a passive-aggressive teenager move.

    We did ours like this:

    RSVP deadline: October 10
    Started calling people: October 14
    Caterer deadline: October 19
    Wedding: October 26

    Plus, there's a chance some people will respond "yes" and then not show up, so you might have extra food and place settings anyway.
  • It's frustrating but it's unfortunately all too common.  We had to chase down about 30% of our invitees after our deadline.
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  • We actually had a really great response rate. RSVP date was 8/29 and by yesterday, I only had to reach out to 4 couples. One was my aunt, and it really bothered me. I know she's coming. She booked a room at our resort. Just fill out with damn card with your meal choice and send it! It's not like you have to dig around for a stamp. 


    Ours was the 29th. FI doesn't want me to call after anyone but I was posting reminders on FB but only to those that were invited could see it. I want to except any RSVPs we may get back until we make the official head count with reception hall. However, FI says if we don't receive them by this Friday, a week after date on RSVP, then we call them and tell them they can't come. Simply because they didn't have the courtesy to tell us they were waiting for one reason or another. I DO NOT agree with this. I think we make our head count a few more and we already know they will have plenty of extra food. But we will be tight on cake so if extras show they will get food, an odd seat and no cake. We are pretty sure no one else will reply except a few that have spoke to us about not knowing. I do not know why it's so hard to mark the RSVP and send it back when the stamp is already on there and if you have to wait why can they contact us and let us know. Don't get me wrong, I understand we are not top priority but with a save the date magnet they should have a reminder if they put it on their refrig. Or seen the FB post. I don't get it. But without FI knowing I'll be making calls to those I have numbers for while he is at work to ask them what their plan is. We do need the final count next week.
    Just make some calls. Telling these people they can't come has got to be one the craziest things I've heard. One of my best friends is an ER doctor, and was at Burning Man for the last week. She didn't send her RSVP. I can't imagine telling her, "Hey, I know you've been really busy, but you didn't RSVP so now you CAN'T COME." That's pretty rude and juvenile. 
  • Today is my RSVP deadline--the "RSVP by" date on the RSVP cards. I've had a 50% response rate, and it really ticks me off. I expected some people would not RSVP via the card OR on time, but to spend so much money (between $100-150) on RSVP cards, pre-printed addressed (extra cost) RSVP envelopes, and even going the extra mile of putting postage there for them, too... UGGHH! 

    I understand that my peers who haven't done the wedding thing may not entirely realize how important it is to get the count accurate and in-advance for the caterer, and how many other things rely on this number as well, like number of centerpieces/flowers, linen rentals, favors, etc. And the lack of RSVPing was certainly higher among my friends than my family (but I STILL have family members who have not RSVP'd as well). Almost NONE of my friends RSVP'd. From several, I got the typical response of "I just haven't put it in the mail yet (which they still haven't done a week after asking them). The invitations went out a bit early (people expected them as our engagement was so long--over 2.5 years), so they've had 2.5 months to respond. I today even had to ask my bridal party individually if their +1's were coming even after specifically telling them I do need their RSVPs; obviously my bridesmaids/groomsmen are coming, but what about their S.O.'s?

    The response of "I don't know if I'm working" annoyed me less than people who knew one way or the other and were just to lazy to write a checkmark and put the envelope in the mailbox. I understand people have jobs, but if you're waiting for your schedule less than a month out, I see how high up I am on list of priorities (not that I think my wedding is of great importance to other people or "the wedding of the decade"--but I'm supposedly their friend...a little courtesy? Do you even WANT to come? If not, just tell me no right off, whatever). You had 3 months to ask off work. I know, however, how bosses can be, so like I said, it didn't bother me as much, but still GRR!

    So anyway, that is my rant, but primarily I am not posting to rant, but because I am curious if my 50% rate of RSVP differs from most or is this typical? ***What was your RSVP rate?***
    Not everyone can ask off that early or know that far in advance if they will get it. Some people don't get their schedule until the week before.

    Also, when is your wedding in comparison to the due date? I think our RSVP date was something like 2 weeks out from the wedding, allowing for one week for mail to trickle in and another week to track down people if necessary, though we didn't need super exact numbers due to the way our food was done. If your date was more than, say, 3 weeks before the wedding, people are far less likely to know for sure if they can make it.
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  • I got a decline yesterday with no name on it.  Good thing she put a return address sticker on it so I was able to piece together who it was.

    Someone (I think it was @lolo883) mentioned numbering your invites and I thought that was an amazing idea, especially if your guest list is on the larger side.  I only had 23 invites out there so I didn't bother.
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  • I got a decline yesterday with no name on it.  Good thing she put a return address sticker on it so I was able to piece together who it was.

    Someone (I think it was @lolo883) mentioned numbering your invites and I thought that was an amazing idea, especially if your guest list is on the larger side.  I only had 23 invites out there so I didn't bother.
    I used a gold sharpie to write the guest's last name in the lower corner of the RSVP card (on the back).  No guessing!   I wrote them pretty small, and I can't imagine why anyone would be offended at that.  But it has saved me a lot of headaches because more than one person has marked their card without writing their names.  For common last names, like Smith, I just put R. Smith, or D. Jones.  Easy, peasy.
  • My date is on the 6th. We've got about 50% back so far. Most of the non-repliers have been my out-of-state family. I don't expect most of them, but I did send the RSVPs pre addressed and stamped. It's not that hard people! I plan on giving everyone an extra week and then start making calls.
  • I'm at 45% returned so far... three more weeks before the deadline. Hoping for a big deluge at the end.
  • We have about 60% back. Our RSVP date is next Friday. I'll probably give them about 4-5 days before we start calling/messaging people. Luckily we gave it a whole month before the wedding and we dont need to give final #'s till about a week before the wedding.

     

  • edited September 2014

    We have about 60% back. Our RSVP date is next Friday. I'll probably give them about 4-5 days before we start calling/messaging people. Luckily we gave it a whole month before the wedding and we dont need to give final #'s till about a week before the wedding.
    We made the date 4 weeks prior to the wedding, but our (terrible) caterer needs the count over 2 weeks in advance, so it gives me like a week and half to call 50% of the people invited.
  • Becci815 said:
    My date is on the 6th. We've got about 50% back so far. Most of the non-repliers have been my out-of-state family. I don't expect most of them, but I did send the RSVPs pre addressed and stamped. It's not that hard people! I plan on giving everyone an extra week and then start making calls.
    I prestamped and readdressed the return envelopes, too, but still I only received 50% by the RSVP date. What's really annoying is it's the people who see me stressing about the wedding and even strategically mentioning RSVPs on Facebook are the ones that don't respond. It's not like they could have really forgotten as long as they don't hide my posts. Aggravating.
  • I got a decline yesterday with no name on it.  Good thing she put a return address sticker on it so I was able to piece together who it was.

    Someone (I think it was @lolo883) mentioned numbering your invites and I thought that was an amazing idea, especially if your guest list is on the larger side.  I only had 23 invites out there so I didn't bother.
    I used a gold sharpie to write the guest's last name in the lower corner of the RSVP card (on the back).  No guessing!   I wrote them pretty small, and I can't imagine why anyone would be offended at that.  But it has saved me a lot of headaches because more than one person has marked their card without writing their names.  For common last names, like Smith, I just put R. Smith, or D. Jones.  Easy, peasy.
    I numbered each one on the back which coordinated with the guest list, but that's the one thing that hasn't gone wrong so far.
  • Today is my RSVP deadline--the "RSVP by" date on the RSVP cards. I've had a 50% response rate, and it really ticks me off. I expected some people would not RSVP via the card OR on time, but to spend so much money (between $100-150) on RSVP cards, pre-printed addressed (extra cost) RSVP envelopes, and even going the extra mile of putting postage there for them, too... UGGHH! 

    I understand that my peers who haven't done the wedding thing may not entirely realize how important it is to get the count accurate and in-advance for the caterer, and how many other things rely on this number as well, like number of centerpieces/flowers, linen rentals, favors, etc. And the lack of RSVPing was certainly higher among my friends than my family (but I STILL have family members who have not RSVP'd as well). Almost NONE of my friends RSVP'd. From several, I got the typical response of "I just haven't put it in the mail yet (which they still haven't done a week after asking them). The invitations went out a bit early (people expected them as our engagement was so long--over 2.5 years), so they've had 2.5 months to respond. I today even had to ask my bridal party individually if their +1's were coming even after specifically telling them I do need their RSVPs; obviously my bridesmaids/groomsmen are coming, but what about their S.O.'s?

    The response of "I don't know if I'm working" annoyed me less than people who knew one way or the other and were just to lazy to write a checkmark and put the envelope in the mailbox. I understand people have jobs, but if you're waiting for your schedule less than a month out, I see how high up I am on list of priorities (not that I think my wedding is of great importance to other people or "the wedding of the decade"--but I'm supposedly their friend...a little courtesy? Do you even WANT to come? If not, just tell me no right off, whatever). You had 3 months to ask off work. I know, however, how bosses can be, so like I said, it didn't bother me as much, but still GRR!

    So anyway, that is my rant, but primarily I am not posting to rant, but because I am curious if my 50% rate of RSVP differs from most or is this typical? ***What was your RSVP rate?***
    Not everyone can ask off that early or know that far in advance if they will get it. Some people don't get their schedule until the week before.

    Also, when is your wedding in comparison to the due date? I think our RSVP date was something like 2 weeks out from the wedding, allowing for one week for mail to trickle in and another week to track down people if necessary, though we didn't need super exact numbers due to the way our food was done. If your date was more than, say, 3 weeks before the wedding, people are far less likely to know for sure if they can make it.
    No, not everyone can ask off many months ahead, but by 4 weeks until the wedding  (approx. the RSVP date), they should be able to. Therefore they should have RSVP'd already.  They may get their schedule a week prior, but employees should be asking off prior to getting their schedule.  If they ask off, they should tell me they asked off and count them as a yes until their boss tells them otherwise. I'd rather have a yes that turns into a no (I get that shit happens), but not responding at all is RUDE.  The caterer needs the count by the 10th of this month (2.5 weeks prior to the wedding). The RSVP date was the 30th.  That gave me less than two weeks to contact everyone, and too far ahead for some of them to wait until they get their schedule.  The entire point of asking off work is to do it in advance; I've done retail.
  • edited September 2014
    scribe95 said:
    So you have been bugging people BEFORE the RSVP date? Ugh. 

    I've actually had a lot of mail issues.  I've had to send out several multiple times.  I simply asked if they received them because I knew I had such issues happening.  At LEAST 5 came back to me, and I had to send them again. Two others got lost in the mail, but it never came back. One of the checks sent to my coordinator took 7 WEEKS to get there (same small city); she received the second check before she received the first.  I still have not contacted everyone, as I don't have their contact info beyond their address (or in some cases phone number they won't answer).  Most simply forgot about it altogether and needed the reminder.


    I didn't want to risk offending people if they had not received them at all by the RSVP date, so a few days before the RSVP date, I did begin contacting a few people just to see if they got them, since I had only received FIFTY PERCENT and altogether stopped receiving them weeks ago.  I actually need all RSVPS by Tuesday next week, so I needed the extra time to contact everyone and give them time to decide if they're coming (and remember to ask off work if applicable).  It has been several days since the RSVP date, granted it was a holiday weekend, and I still have not received even one additional RSVP card. What a waste of money on envelopes, stamps, preaddressing, and RSVP cards. I will have to call or email/Facebook every single person who as not RSVP'd, and I seriously doubt I will receive even one more RSVP card in the next week before the catering due date. 


    To simplify:

    RSVP deadline: Aug. 30

    Florist needs a fairly accurate count for # of centerpieces: Sept. 7

    Caterer needs count: Sept. 10

    Wedding: Sept. 28

  • I got about half of mine in before the deadline, maybe another 10% in the following week, and then I had to hunt down everyone else to find out if they were coming.
  • We had 100% of responses (all yes) by the RSVP date which was 2 weeks before the wedding. We had a small wedding though so I'm sure that made it a lot easier on us. We pretty much knew everyone was coming before we sent out invites.
    image
  • Today is my RSVP deadline--the "RSVP by" date on the RSVP cards. I've had a 50% response rate, and it really ticks me off. I expected some people would not RSVP via the card OR on time, but to spend so much money (between $100-150) on RSVP cards, pre-printed addressed (extra cost) RSVP envelopes, and even going the extra mile of putting postage there for them, too... UGGHH! 

    I understand that my peers who haven't done the wedding thing may not entirely realize how important it is to get the count accurate and in-advance for the caterer, and how many other things rely on this number as well, like number of centerpieces/flowers, linen rentals, favors, etc. And the lack of RSVPing was certainly higher among my friends than my family (but I STILL have family members who have not RSVP'd as well). Almost NONE of my friends RSVP'd. From several, I got the typical response of "I just haven't put it in the mail yet (which they still haven't done a week after asking them). The invitations went out a bit early (people expected them as our engagement was so long--over 2.5 years), so they've had 2.5 months to respond. I today even had to ask my bridal party individually if their +1's were coming even after specifically telling them I do need their RSVPs; obviously my bridesmaids/groomsmen are coming, but what about their S.O.'s?

    The response of "I don't know if I'm working" annoyed me less than people who knew one way or the other and were just to lazy to write a checkmark and put the envelope in the mailbox. I understand people have jobs, but if you're waiting for your schedule less than a month out, I see how high up I am on list of priorities (not that I think my wedding is of great importance to other people or "the wedding of the decade"--but I'm supposedly their friend...a little courtesy? Do you even WANT to come? If not, just tell me no right off, whatever). You had 3 months to ask off work. I know, however, how bosses can be, so like I said, it didn't bother me as much, but still GRR!

    So anyway, that is my rant, but primarily I am not posting to rant, but because I am curious if my 50% rate of RSVP differs from most or is this typical? ***What was your RSVP rate?***
    Not everyone can ask off that early or know that far in advance if they will get it. Some people don't get their schedule until the week before.

    Also, when is your wedding in comparison to the due date? I think our RSVP date was something like 2 weeks out from the wedding, allowing for one week for mail to trickle in and another week to track down people if necessary, though we didn't need super exact numbers due to the way our food was done. If your date was more than, say, 3 weeks before the wedding, people are far less likely to know for sure if they can make it.
    No, not everyone can ask off many months ahead, but by 4 weeks until the wedding  (approx. the RSVP date), they should be able to. Therefore they should have RSVP'd already.  They may get their schedule a week prior, but employees should be asking off prior to getting their schedule.  If they ask off, they should tell me they asked off and count them as a yes until their boss tells them otherwise. I'd rather have a yes that turns into a no (I get that shit happens), but not responding at all is RUDE.  The caterer needs the count by the 10th of this month (2.5 weeks prior to the wedding). The RSVP date was the 30th.  That gave me less than two weeks to contact everyone, and too far ahead for some of them to wait until they get their schedule.  The entire point of asking off work is to do it in advance; I've done retail.
    Yes, but then we get the opposite end of that - brides complaining that someone replied "yes" and then called a week before the wedding to say they wouldn't be coming.

  • We had 100% of responses (all yes) by the RSVP date which was 2 weeks before the wedding. We had a small wedding though so I'm sure that made it a lot easier on us. We pretty much knew everyone was coming before we sent out invites.
    Lucky! We've only invited 150 people including vendors we're feeding. We'll have probably 90-100 come. It's a week past the RSVP date, and I have still not received an RSVP card since weeks before the RSVP date (only 50% of cards returned). I've gotten some answers by hunting them down online, but I'm still waiting on 14 answers, and I have no way to get a hold of several of them. That's two tables' worth of people, and I'm supposed to pay the florist today. I could have anywhere from 10-12 tables/centerpieces/linens, and I need to figure this out within an hour. One word can sum this all up: RUDE!

    wrigleyville: Well, I'm complaining about people not RSVPing at all, primarily that they will not RSVP at all by the wedding date (or EVER, which I've dealt with EVERY time I try to throw any form of gathering--I've given up on playing hostess besides this...and I should have given up on this, too, I guess).  As I said, people's work schedules didn't irk me as much as people just pretending I don't exist. However, if I were a guest and didn't know my work schedule, rather than ignoring the bride, I'd call or message them and say "Hey, I'm sorry, I don't know yet; I'm waiting on my schedule. But I'll let you know ASAP!" Not ignore the invitation altogether.
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