Hello, ladies. I'm new to posting, but have lurked enough to know that you're the most honest an forthright bunch around.
My husband and I had a small (12 guests), quick (3 weeks total planning) wedding for good reasons. We are BOTH active duty military, were stationed in different countries and were expecting our son. The military WILL NOT station engaged couples together; only spouses. We decided the hardship of forgoing the dress/cake/flowers/etc. was smaller than the hardship of beginning our family on opposite continents. We rushed the wedding with the "basic package" at the local wedding chapel, got orders to be stationed together, and started our family TOGETHER. We chose correctly. We own it. We don't regret it.
That said, we always said that maybe we would renew our vows on our 20th anniversary so that we could declare our commitment to one another in front of all our loved ones, not just the handful who could make it to our wedding. However, my grandmother recently passed away, and I've been thinking that not everyone we would like to be there for our vow renewal will still be around at 20 years. We are coming up on our 15-year anniversary, and lately I have been seriously considering having a 15-year anniversary party/vow renewal event. I'd like to get honest opinions on whether this would be side-eyed, deemed PPD-ish, etc.
Event details (tentative in my pre-pre-planning stage) would be as follows:
Never referred to as a "wedding."
No pre-parties (gross). No registries. Probably waking down aisle, but together, not with dad. Ring exchange would be a re-gift of our bands, but with new inscriptions (no new rings; I'm anti-upgrade). New vows, written by us, with new promises that reflect our established marriage (our original vows had sexist BS about me promising to "serve" and "obey"). No attendants, but our middle-school-aged son and daughter would stand up with us. Dress would not be big/poufy, but would probably be white or ivory; think flowy, breezy, goddess dress. Big celebration after ceremony, with dinner, drinks and dancing (no spotlight dances). Champagne for everyone!
Cake - yes; official cake cutting - no. Theme - 15 years/crystal anniversary. Decor - lots of 15's on everything; photos around the room of parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles during THEIR 15th year of marriage. Aside from the white dress being my only glaring side-eye-worthy crime (I know, I know, but I really think white is pretty), I think I should be ok. My concern is that I've heard vow renewals should always be scaled down from the wedding they follow, but it's hard to shrink from 12 guests! I'm afraid people with think it's PPD-ish, despite the milestone anniversary, simply because we had a very small wedding. What do you ladies think? I'd love your honest feedback!