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Invites and Paper

Save the date needed?

edited September 2014 in Invites and Paper
Hi I'm new to this forum and need a little help. I'm planning an intimate wedding with max 40 of our closest family and friends. Most are couples so about 20 invitations. We will have a ceremony followed by a sit down dinner, then cocktails and marshmallows by a fire pit. Everything will be in the same location. Do I still need to send save the date cards? how far in advance if so? Thank you. 

Re: Save the date needed?

  • Save the dates are never necessary. They're a relatively recent invention and people managed just fine for hundreds of years without them. Especially since you have such an intimate list, you can spread your date pretty easily via word of mouth or just call them all and say "we're getting married on (date), expect a formal invitation in (month!)!"

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  • If you decide to send save the dates, they go out 6-10 months before the wedding. Closer to 6 if everyone's local, closer to 10 if people are overseas/OOT.

    They're not necessary. I'd just make sure your VIPs know when it is so they can plan. Email is fine.
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  • Thanks for your reply. Most ppl invited are on fb. Will it be okay to create a fb event invite?
  • Thanks for your reply. Most ppl invited are on fb. Will it be okay to create a fb event invite?
    No!  Don't do this.  Your wedding is a special event, and deserves much more than a fb event invite.
    [Deleted User]
  • Thanks for your reply. Most ppl invited are on fb. Will it be okay to create a fb event invite?
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  • NOOO I didn't mean not send regular invites. I meant to create a save the date event. I WILL send my invites by mail too.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    When it comes to social media, the best thing you can do is not discuss your wedding on it.

    People on social media make assumptions about whether or not they're invited or are welcome to tell it like they think it is about wedding information posted there, and justified or not, one or both sides often end up with hurt feelings.  So don't create a save-the-date event for your wedding on Facebook.
    holyguacamole79
  • I won't do that then, even though the event would have been a private event and only ppl invited could see it. Honestly I don't think anybody's feelings will be hurt because we are inviting all of our VIPs so anyone else shouldn't expect to be invited. BUT if anyone was to get offended I could care less because unfortunately I can't please everyone and there's always that one person not matter what.

  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited September 2014

    I won't do that then, even though the event would have been a private event and only ppl invited could see it. Honestly I don't think anybody's feelings will be hurt because we are inviting all of our VIPs so anyone else shouldn't expect to be invited. BUT if anyone was to get offended I could care less because unfortunately I can't please everyone and there's always that one person not matter what.


    Yeah, that's not a good attitude to have.  Sure, you can't please everyone.  And, that's not a cop-out for not caring if people get offended.  Seriously, though, keep wedding talk off Facebook.  I got a Facebook save-the-date for a wedding and I found it to be tacky as hell.
  • Yeah I never use fb for any event before or post anything very personal. I'm currently planning a 1st birthday party and even for that I sent the cutest invites by mail. I like making my guests feel very special so I even customized the envelopes. I guess I should just send save the dates for the wedding by mail.

  • Just don't send STDates. Just call the people you're planning on inviting and give them a verbal date to save.
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    You can PM your friends individually on FB to give them the date, but it's awfully impersonal.  These are your 40 closest friends and family.  Can't you just call them?
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